It took 2 years but....

(15 Posts)
MoelFammau Fri 29-Mar-13 22:04:04

Excuse the 'whoo hoo' nature of this post but man, I'm so chuffed.

I've BF DD on demand for 23 months, riding waves of feeding day and night during growth spurts and teething, dealing with a hugely unsupportive family...

I fed DD to sleep every single night from birth til yesterday morning, when she suddenly decided to go cold turkey after a particularly intense fortnight of BF. I never thought it would happen so quickly and so naturally, and I'm so glad I held out and listened to what DD needed, not what my family was pressuring me to do.

She's such a happy, secure little thing and I'm so proud of her.

Weird though. After 23 months its odd to stop so abruptly!

GEM33 Fri 29-Mar-13 22:14:19

Hi. wow! you have done so well! 23 months hey? It's weird how like my experience yours sounds. . . Family and friends and work colleagues think I am weirder than weird for still bf 16 month old and keep getting asked the age old weaning question and I myself struggle to imagine this boob monster getting through the night without 3-10 breastfeeds for comfort....

So what you are saying is yours just stopped by her own accord? Did you do don't offer don't refuse?

Do you feel different? I am worried I ll feel lost without milk. Do your boobs look different? Do you have more energy. I like to tell myself I haven't been back to the gym because I feel tired because I'm producing so much milk still!!
,! I know I'm kidding myself!!

PoppyWearer Fri 29-Mar-13 22:16:14

Well done you!!!!!

With my DC2 I got to 15mo and was forced to stop for medical reasonsangry but my instincts were to keep going in the face of medical and family pressure. He's now 19mo and I do miss it, sooooo much.

You are a star!!!!

MoelFammau Fri 29-Mar-13 23:33:29

Aw guys!

Yes I did a don't offer don't refuse thing, though I hadn't heard of that until just now! I guess I ran on instinct - never had a feeding routine, never dreamfed, just fed her if she wanted it from birth. Family thought I was weird and often dropped snide comments, which is really disheartening, isn't it?

Admit I was starting to worry she'd ever learn to sleep on her own, and I had no idea how to wean her off because she has bad silent reflux and dairy intolerance. She needed BF as a comfort during painful nights and as she refused all varieties of milk, I was a bit worried about how to get calcium into her too. So I dithered about for nearly a year, half-heartedly trying to stop! In the end it was such a doddle that I feel daft for ever worrying!

No idea about energy levels yet. Only been 2 nights and a day so far. Boobs are really sore though!

Christ it was a tough ride - hardest time for me was going back to work when DD was 3mo, working 18 hour days on a film set in 40 degree heat and one toilet and a shared fridge for the whole (male) crew. I have no idea how the hell I got through 2 weeks of expressing in that situation - I was in bits. Guess you just get through a day, then another day and so on... Then 23 months later you stop, look back and think I must have been mental.

Sorry I'm posting this here! Just had no end of crap off family and I've just kept my head down and not mentioned it ever. Even my DP didn't really 'get' the exhaustion, the self-doubt, the relentlessness of it all. It's what women do, to him at least. No comment for BF, no comment for stopping.... So I'm posting here to you lovely lot, and hopefully it reassures some of you sitting up at 4am nursing a 16mo that THEY WILL STOP OF THEIR OWN ACCORD, no matter what your family tell you. And you'll have a secure, healthy happy child too. You are not ruining them, I promise.

SteepApproach Sat 30-Mar-13 12:46:23

Just wanted to say congratulations and well done! You definitely had some big challenges there.

Welovegrapes Sat 30-Mar-13 13:07:42

Lovely to read this! smile

cakeandcava Sat 30-Mar-13 14:47:00

Lovely! Congratulations and well done smile I'm only 5 months in, but starting to think I'd like to do something similar...

MoelFammau Sat 30-Mar-13 18:41:36

5 months is awesome! I'd suggest not having a BF goal though, and to take it one day at a time. I think there's so much pressure around that you HAVE to BF for 6 months, but you HAVE to stop at 12 months or whatever. And no baby fits this exactly which then results in the mother feeling stressed out trying to conform. Add to that medical issues (ie taking non-BF friendly medications etc) and really, it's horribly easy to feel a failure even though you've done your absolute damnedest.

Personally I'd say run on instinct. Do what feels right at that moment. Then do what feels right for the next moment, and so on. Don't add worries about having to hit certain targets. So what if your baby doesn't self-settle aged 22mo? If you don't mind it then really, who else it is affecting? Your baby WILL self-settle, and she WILL give up BF, and really why not just take the lead from her and do these things when they're achieved naturally without pressure and parenting books.

Basically I'm saying stuff everyone else and do as much as suits you both, whether it's 1 day of BF or 5 years. The rest of the world has absolutely nothing to do with it. Feel sad that the past year for me has been feeling guilt-ridden about BF due to family. Which I'd been strong enough and secure enough to have KNOWN I was doing the right thing, rather than just hoping I was.

Good luck Cake! Enjoy it.

feekerry Sat 30-Mar-13 19:52:14

aww your post has just given me a much needed kick up the butt!
dd is 12 months and like you i have fed totally on demand since birth to date. no bottles, no dummies.
for the first time ever i am finding it tough as dd has started waking more and more often and only boob can settle her. she will only nap on boob.
i too have done every single night since birth. i go to her whenever she needs me and offer boob.
i was thinking of starting to reduce her feeding as finding it tough but in reality she is such a boob monster that aint gonna happen...
your post has given me some hope to do the right thing and carry on till dd is ready to stop and ignore all the comments from everyone else who'sbabies sleep all night long blah blah

MoelFammau Sat 30-Mar-13 20:01:53

DD was the same. In fact, right up until the day she stopped she was an absolute fiend. She'd crawl into bed in the mornings for an HOUR of feeding, she'd ask for it 3+ times a day, she refused to sleep without it... I honestly felt it would never get any better!

Then she stopped. Just like that.

Weird for me though - I was anticipating a slow winding down, dropping feeds etc. Which never really happened - she'd only feed once or twice some days but would be almost exclusively breastfed the following day. Never fit a pattern at all. Odd for it to just stop. I never thought I'd feel sad but actually I kind of do. It was the cure-all. Now I'll have to find other ways to soothe her when she's ill!

feekerry Sat 30-Mar-13 20:11:07

out of interest (i know you said its only been couple of days)
has your dd slept any better?????
also, could it be your dd is unwell/blocked ears or something and she might restart in a couple of days??

MoelFammau Sat 30-Mar-13 20:42:06

It's now the end of day 3.... She sort of whimpered for BF just before bed tonight because she did have a cold and usually she stops all solids and reverts to BF when ill. But it was one small whimper and I hugged her and sang her a song instead and she was happy with that.

I feel the habit has been broken. She's not stuffed her hands down my top for 3 days (and she'd do that embarrassingly often!) and her appetite has been really good too. She HAS actually slept better, yes. She's only ever slept through 4 or 5 times in her life (usually woke for a BF at midnight and 4ish) but has slept from midnight til 6.30/7am for the past 3 days. In fact no, she went from 9pm til 8am on the middle night. So yes, sleeping is way better. And she falls asleep MUCH faster now.

feekerry Sat 30-Mar-13 20:48:05

so the stuffing hands down top and having a good old root around and exposing boob to everyone does eventually stop??!
good to know!!

MoelFammau Sun 31-Mar-13 21:47:24

Hard to believe but yes!

Day 4.... still going boob-free....

AmandaCooper Sun 31-Mar-13 22:16:30

Well done OP it's an incredible achievement!

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