Dd refuses the breast now. Please help :(

(60 Posts)
McPheetStink Tue 19-Mar-13 20:40:24

Dd has been a difficult feeder for a few weeks, and it's slowly come down to her not wanting the breast at all during the day. She recoils, gets very upset, bites me a little, then just cries. Over the last week, I've struggled to get her to accept me during the night. It seems as though she has to be basically asleep before she'll feed successfully. Now we are reaching a point where even this is becoming an issue.

I'm trying not to get upset about it, but in my heart, I'm not ready to give it up. Do you think she's made that decision herself? If so, what to do about my achy boobs sad

McPheetStink Wed 27-Mar-13 21:34:02

Maybe I'm comparing it to when she was tiny, and I used to pump 5/6oz in one go confused

Welovegrapes Wed 27-Mar-13 21:18:36

I think you got loads tonight, op smile I only ever got that max when expressing and quite often I only got 1 oz. I think if you express as many times a day as she was feeding before and get 1-2 oz each time you would be keeping a supply.

McPheetStink Wed 27-Mar-13 21:10:50

The pump arrived, and I've tried to use it as much as possible. Very upsetting when a few drips was as much as I could pump, but tonight it managed 2 ozs. So with eating flapjack like it's going out of fashion, chucking Fenugreek down my neck and drinking as much as I can, I think we have some progress.

I'm giving it until next Friday, which would be two weeks, and if by them more progress hasn't been made then I've told myself to pack it in. I've a lot going on right now, and I don't want this to be bigger than it needs to iukwim.

MammaCici Wed 27-Mar-13 19:05:45

How is it going McPheetStink? Is DD coming around? Hope things are getting better for you.

Lonelybunny Sun 24-Mar-13 12:03:38

Yes I spose she was trying to help as I have also thought maybe its time to give in but It was the way it was written. Babies main diet should be milk before they are 1 with a solids alongside to compliment

MammaCici Sun 24-Mar-13 10:37:05

That "rude" post was by someone who doesn't understand breastfeeding. I doubt she meant any harm. A lot of the time if someone has been unsuccessful with bf themselves they want others to quit to because it makes them feel better.
Best of luck with your medela pump! Hope it makes a difference and that your LO latches on happily soon.

Lonelybunny Sun 24-Mar-13 09:11:08

My battery died last night so couldbt reply as kids had put my charger somewhere else ! That was so rude of that woman , how dare she say to just give up ?! You keep going my love. I can't even get an ounce out sometimes when I pump then a couple of mornings last week in a row I got 2 from both sides. I think we are not achieving let down which you can only get if your relaxed and like you I'm very busy I have two other children and a DP at home and can't get the privacy time or quietness to pump properly. Try and give less solids so she will need to start upping her milk intake. She should be having more milk then food anyway

McPheetStink Sun 24-Mar-13 07:41:04

Not much joy this morning either. I tried her over night, but as predicted, she stirred and freaked out. All I managed to express was 1oz confused

I've gone ahead and ordered a medela this morning, which will be delivered tomorrow. My pump is crap!

neontetra Sat 23-Mar-13 22:45:57

I would echo what others have said about trying new nursing positions - when my dd has had nursing strikes (which, touch wood, at nearly 12 months she hasnt for a while) her usual preferred positions make her furious, but she'll feed if i hold her in front of me in strange and impractical ways! Pitch darkness also a winner for us. Very best of luck.

Welovegrapes Sat 23-Mar-13 22:44:38

OP you are definitely doing the right thing and most strikes can be resolved with patience.

Good luck for tonight and have some un MN hugs!

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 22:38:34

Thank you. It's nice to feel supported. Not many people understand, which makes me question my own beliefs. I do believe in what I'm doing, or I wouldn't be trying to find a solution.

NippyDrips Sat 23-Mar-13 22:32:47

I will cross my fingers for you tonight op.

Soupa Sat 23-Mar-13 22:25:28

Trying the cup is great, pumping at night is too...don't feel bad if it takes a few days before output picks up.

Don't bother drinking the extra water...it really doesn't help supply you only need to drink to your thirst.

Soupa Sat 23-Mar-13 22:22:50

She might be upset but if you decrease bottles and allow access to the breast then you increase the chances of feeding happening. It is quite possible that she is waiting for a bottle, some babies get distracted by their ease especially if teething etc.

Your gp can prescribe domperidone which passes into milk but at a tenth of the levels given as a dose to babies. It isn't lisenced as for this purpose in uk though it is in other countries, your gp could find lots of info to support prescription presuming it's ok for you otherwise.

If you google ardo pump agents you should be able to find a local agent.

It is tough, one of mine was a bugger for striking and it was awful. Hope yours picks up like mine did.

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 22:18:43

I got a doidy cup today to try tomorrow with her.

I'm literally just back from trying to dreamfeed her, and she woke and went nuts at me hmm

What I've done, is bought my pump up to bed with me, and when I would normally feed her, I'll try and pump instead. Also taken some more fenegreek, and a bucket full of water. I'm going to be up peeing all night!!

Gintonic Sat 23-Mar-13 22:17:21

OP, I could have written your post 2 weeks ago. I am now 4 weeks in to a nursing strike. I must have read every single relevant article on the whole Internet hmm

You are already trying most of the things I was advised, the only thing I would add is try BFing your LO when it is not a normal feed time, in a different place, maybe even different position.

I have found the nursing strike has done awful things to my hormones, I have been having terrible mood swings, feelings that I can't cope etc. please be aware some of the despair you are feeling could be due to shifts in your hormones. If you try and stick to a regular expressing pattern that will help reduce the confusion for your body.

With respect I would disagree with bunny about bottles. Your LO needs milk, and cows milk will not have all the nutrients of expressed milk or formula. Don't feel bad about substituting, you are giving your baby what she needs. You can always try a cup if you are worried about her getting a preference for the bottle.

My LO definitely prefers the bottle, which is a large part of the problem. I have decided to give up as I can't deal with the impact on my hormones any more. But I know other people manage to come back from a strike so if it is important to you keep trying.

I am not at all surprised by the comment above about why bother, that is basically what every single person in RL has said to me.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Sat 23-Mar-13 21:08:44

My body was still mine even when I was bfeeding.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Sat 23-Mar-13 21:08:03

Because the op wants to feed, its best for her baby and for the op,

Her dd is having a nursing strike, the biting and baby being upset are signs that it is a strike and something is bothering her.

Milk should be her main sour e okf nutrition at this age, so if course the op is upset.

She will pick up in your stress tho op sad

What happened if you keep her close so she has access to the breast if she wants it.

Maybe ask on analytical armadillo or the leaky boob on fb, they are great for advice.

Feed her in her sleep when you can and she may well just carry on nursing as normal suddenly.

Is she teething? Have you got your period.

Can you offer milk in a cup so she doesn't get confused between breast and bottle. If you only offer cup and breast that may help.

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 21:02:27

Monkeyface How dare you.

I'm here, on my knees, asking for help for something which is important to me. If you have nothing to add, without being a prick then please move along smile

Im a bit confused.

Your DD is 8 months. She is, I assume, weaning?

Whats wrong with packing in the breastfeeding, getting your body back, and proceeding with solids and formula confused

I really, REALLY dont get this breastfeeding hero worship crap. If its making you sad, just pack it in.

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 20:46:50

Thanks for the tip about the pump.

It was so disheartening this morning, to only get a few ounces off. And it took blooming ages. Tonight, was rubbish too. I just sat and cried.

I'm desperate to increase the supply, so much so that apparently some gps will prescribe something which can help? Has anyone had this? Some days we're not even hitting one feed, and I've been having to substitute which upsets me too.

I'll google lactation consultant. Thank you.

Lonelybunny Sat 23-Mar-13 20:45:22

I'm down to 3-4 feeds day time and 1-2 night time and one side at night . Does she have water/juice ?

MammaCici Sat 23-Mar-13 20:36:29

You really have to get your hands on a semi decent pump. I second that some days I'd be able to pump more than others.

I'd get as much into her while she sleeps as possible. Even if it means less sleep for you. I totally get how important it is to you. I'd be the same.

As regards your supply, my DS had cut down to about 4 feeds a day when he was 18 months and then he got a bug and went back to full time nursing / comfort nursing. Within a few days my milk supply went right back up again. I know we are all different but because your supply goes down doesn't mean you won't get it back up again.

Is there a lactation consultant you could see?

My sister always used nipple shields. I wasn't fan of them myself but perhaps your DD would latch on if you use a shield. Just a thought.

Welovegrapes Sat 23-Mar-13 20:32:47

Medela swing was very good for me. BUT you need to check whether any pump you buy second hand is 'open' or !closed'. Closed systems are ok second hand but open systems can be contaminated with the previous user's milk. My Medela wasn't hospital grade and there is a huge difference apparently between hospital grade and non-hospital grade.

Why don't you call the local nct and explain your position. They are a charity, so you never know whether they might be able to help?

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 20:23:50

There's loads of Medelas on ebay?? They're meant to be good aren't they? What is the suction like?

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