Dd refuses the breast now. Please help :(

(60 Posts)
McPheetStink Tue 19-Mar-13 20:40:24

Dd has been a difficult feeder for a few weeks, and it's slowly come down to her not wanting the breast at all during the day. She recoils, gets very upset, bites me a little, then just cries. Over the last week, I've struggled to get her to accept me during the night. It seems as though she has to be basically asleep before she'll feed successfully. Now we are reaching a point where even this is becoming an issue.

I'm trying not to get upset about it, but in my heart, I'm not ready to give it up. Do you think she's made that decision herself? If so, what to do about my achy boobs sad

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 17:37:12

I've just got of the phone to the National Breastfeeding helpline. She says I need to be pumping at least 4 times a day to get my supply back up, and suggested I try to find an electric pump I can borrow. Not sure where from though. Sure start sometimes loans them, but I bet ours won't hmm The stress in my personal life has probably affected my supply too <bastard ex>

And a warm bath with my daughter has been suggested, to spend some skin to skin time together.

So glad I called. Even if I sobbed blush

minipie Sat 23-Mar-13 17:52:47

your local nct should be able to tell you where to hire a hospital grade pump (which are so much more effective)

or try here

Soupa Sat 23-Mar-13 19:10:32

Call round the children's centres and explain, one will have a pump to loan.

In the mean time if you can face giving up bottles, have skin to skin but don't try to force feeds...keep pressure off and try and relax. It is really rare babies wean at this age, Teething and nosiness gets in the way as can thrush and dairy intolerance but as long as you keep skin to skin up and feed at night, or when sleepy etc it usually works out.

Good luck

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 19:44:16

I go to a breast feeding group on mondays, but tbh the lady there isn't much help blush

Me and Dd just tried to have a relaxing bath together, and all she did was try and climb out hmm She wasn't interested in being calm with mummy. No, she wanted to jump ship.

It's the upset, I'm having trouble with. If I give up bottles, and offer nothing else, isn't that just going to make her more upset?

Lonelybunny Sat 23-Mar-13 19:44:39

I found I couldn't express for a week then other times I get letdown . This was with a manual pump. Can you find a local pick up on eBay.? Does she feed through the night?

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 19:55:55

She'll only feed in the night if she's literally fast asleep, then she'll latch. If she rouses, she freaks out sad

I really struggle with my pump, and so wish I'd had the money for an electric one. I'll check ebay again.

My main problem is I don't have the privacy to do the expressing when I need to. My home situation is a nightmare for this.

Lonelybunny Sat 23-Mar-13 19:59:58

I'm exactly the same hun . How many feeds at night? She may be doing a bit of reverse cycling. My DD hardly has any feeds at the weekend as her older sisters are home and she is just too distracted .

Lonelybunny Sat 23-Mar-13 20:01:07

I can't afford an electric pump either they are expensive . I'm sure she will pick up , how long has it been going on?

NippyDrips Sat 23-Mar-13 20:07:26

Sorry your having problems.

I am no expert but just spending some time cuddled up topless without any pressure to feed could help.

Calpol an hour before feeds for teething pain and get her checked by the gp incase of ear infection etc.

Keep trying the pump as often as u would used to feed or try hand expressing, it is still stimulation.

Good luck.

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 20:14:36

It's been a few weeks, but gotten worse. It started off as reverse cycling, but now we are in a full on strike. Like I said, if she's sleeping then I can get her to latch on. But if she stirs, then she bites me and cries. I'm so worried about my supply, that I just keep crying.

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 20:23:50

There's loads of Medelas on ebay?? They're meant to be good aren't they? What is the suction like?

Welovegrapes Sat 23-Mar-13 20:32:47

Medela swing was very good for me. BUT you need to check whether any pump you buy second hand is 'open' or !closed'. Closed systems are ok second hand but open systems can be contaminated with the previous user's milk. My Medela wasn't hospital grade and there is a huge difference apparently between hospital grade and non-hospital grade.

Why don't you call the local nct and explain your position. They are a charity, so you never know whether they might be able to help?

MammaCici Sat 23-Mar-13 20:36:29

You really have to get your hands on a semi decent pump. I second that some days I'd be able to pump more than others.

I'd get as much into her while she sleeps as possible. Even if it means less sleep for you. I totally get how important it is to you. I'd be the same.

As regards your supply, my DS had cut down to about 4 feeds a day when he was 18 months and then he got a bug and went back to full time nursing / comfort nursing. Within a few days my milk supply went right back up again. I know we are all different but because your supply goes down doesn't mean you won't get it back up again.

Is there a lactation consultant you could see?

My sister always used nipple shields. I wasn't fan of them myself but perhaps your DD would latch on if you use a shield. Just a thought.

Lonelybunny Sat 23-Mar-13 20:45:22

I'm down to 3-4 feeds day time and 1-2 night time and one side at night . Does she have water/juice ?

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 20:46:50

Thanks for the tip about the pump.

It was so disheartening this morning, to only get a few ounces off. And it took blooming ages. Tonight, was rubbish too. I just sat and cried.

I'm desperate to increase the supply, so much so that apparently some gps will prescribe something which can help? Has anyone had this? Some days we're not even hitting one feed, and I've been having to substitute which upsets me too.

I'll google lactation consultant. Thank you.

Im a bit confused.

Your DD is 8 months. She is, I assume, weaning?

Whats wrong with packing in the breastfeeding, getting your body back, and proceeding with solids and formula confused

I really, REALLY dont get this breastfeeding hero worship crap. If its making you sad, just pack it in.

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 21:02:27

Monkeyface How dare you.

I'm here, on my knees, asking for help for something which is important to me. If you have nothing to add, without being a prick then please move along smile

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Sat 23-Mar-13 21:08:03

Because the op wants to feed, its best for her baby and for the op,

Her dd is having a nursing strike, the biting and baby being upset are signs that it is a strike and something is bothering her.

Milk should be her main sour e okf nutrition at this age, so if course the op is upset.

She will pick up in your stress tho op sad

What happened if you keep her close so she has access to the breast if she wants it.

Maybe ask on analytical armadillo or the leaky boob on fb, they are great for advice.

Feed her in her sleep when you can and she may well just carry on nursing as normal suddenly.

Is she teething? Have you got your period.

Can you offer milk in a cup so she doesn't get confused between breast and bottle. If you only offer cup and breast that may help.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Sat 23-Mar-13 21:08:44

My body was still mine even when I was bfeeding.

Gintonic Sat 23-Mar-13 22:17:21

OP, I could have written your post 2 weeks ago. I am now 4 weeks in to a nursing strike. I must have read every single relevant article on the whole Internet hmm

You are already trying most of the things I was advised, the only thing I would add is try BFing your LO when it is not a normal feed time, in a different place, maybe even different position.

I have found the nursing strike has done awful things to my hormones, I have been having terrible mood swings, feelings that I can't cope etc. please be aware some of the despair you are feeling could be due to shifts in your hormones. If you try and stick to a regular expressing pattern that will help reduce the confusion for your body.

With respect I would disagree with bunny about bottles. Your LO needs milk, and cows milk will not have all the nutrients of expressed milk or formula. Don't feel bad about substituting, you are giving your baby what she needs. You can always try a cup if you are worried about her getting a preference for the bottle.

My LO definitely prefers the bottle, which is a large part of the problem. I have decided to give up as I can't deal with the impact on my hormones any more. But I know other people manage to come back from a strike so if it is important to you keep trying.

I am not at all surprised by the comment above about why bother, that is basically what every single person in RL has said to me.

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 22:18:43

I got a doidy cup today to try tomorrow with her.

I'm literally just back from trying to dreamfeed her, and she woke and went nuts at me hmm

What I've done, is bought my pump up to bed with me, and when I would normally feed her, I'll try and pump instead. Also taken some more fenegreek, and a bucket full of water. I'm going to be up peeing all night!!

Soupa Sat 23-Mar-13 22:22:50

She might be upset but if you decrease bottles and allow access to the breast then you increase the chances of feeding happening. It is quite possible that she is waiting for a bottle, some babies get distracted by their ease especially if teething etc.

Your gp can prescribe domperidone which passes into milk but at a tenth of the levels given as a dose to babies. It isn't lisenced as for this purpose in uk though it is in other countries, your gp could find lots of info to support prescription presuming it's ok for you otherwise.

If you google ardo pump agents you should be able to find a local agent.

It is tough, one of mine was a bugger for striking and it was awful. Hope yours picks up like mine did.

Soupa Sat 23-Mar-13 22:25:28

Trying the cup is great, pumping at night is too...don't feel bad if it takes a few days before output picks up.

Don't bother drinking the extra water...it really doesn't help supply you only need to drink to your thirst.

NippyDrips Sat 23-Mar-13 22:32:47

I will cross my fingers for you tonight op.

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 22:38:34

Thank you. It's nice to feel supported. Not many people understand, which makes me question my own beliefs. I do believe in what I'm doing, or I wouldn't be trying to find a solution.

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