Dd refuses the breast now. Please help :(

(60 Posts)
McPheetStink Tue 19-Mar-13 20:40:24

Dd has been a difficult feeder for a few weeks, and it's slowly come down to her not wanting the breast at all during the day. She recoils, gets very upset, bites me a little, then just cries. Over the last week, I've struggled to get her to accept me during the night. It seems as though she has to be basically asleep before she'll feed successfully. Now we are reaching a point where even this is becoming an issue.

I'm trying not to get upset about it, but in my heart, I'm not ready to give it up. Do you think she's made that decision herself? If so, what to do about my achy boobs sad

McPheetStink Tue 19-Mar-13 20:41:09

I forgot to say she is 8mo

VikingLady Tue 19-Mar-13 20:41:11

How old is she?

50BalesOfHay Tue 19-Mar-13 20:45:46

You've done a great job for 8 months. If she's ready to stop then that's fine. It's not a rejection, just the next phase

Lurkymclurker Tue 19-Mar-13 20:54:24

Dd started to refuse me at about the same age and I cut down feeds gradually never refusing and offering before snack/lunch and by 12 months dd was fully off, she just wasn't interested.

I found quiet time and total focus on dd helped with the nice feeding as I called it and I think we both started to enjoy it again.

Good luck

McPheetStink Tue 19-Mar-13 21:23:32

I've just done a sneaky feed whilst she was asleep blush

We do have a lot of lovely, cosy time together. But for me, breastfeeding was something which didn't come naturally. Gosh, it was a real struggle, but we won through in the end. I'm proud to have gotten this far with her, but still sad that it's coming to an end.

Welovegrapes Tue 19-Mar-13 21:27:24

This is most likely to be a nursing strike, as true self weaning is really rare under 1.

I would just be very patient, keep gently offering and try when she's sleepy/calm. Baths together and skin to skin can help. Don't put any pressure on her to feed (I'm sure you aren't), as this can make things worse.

There is helpful info here:

www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbnovdec92p173.html

You will want to keep your supply up by expressing if she isn't bf any more and will also want to feed her expressed milk in a cup, as under 1 babies still need either bm or formula daily.

Welovegrapes Tue 19-Mar-13 21:28:33

X post - good re feed!!

You've done brilliantly to get this far. Maybe she'll want to carry on awhile longer yet!

McPheetStink Tue 19-Mar-13 21:33:11

If she refuses me all day, and over night, I've been expressing off what I can first thing and giving to her in a bottle. She accepts this, which is great. The problem has been that I've found myself falling in to a mixed feeding situation, just to make sure she is getting all she needs. Is this ok, for now?

FattyMcChubster Tue 19-Mar-13 21:34:28

Dd is a pita to feed during the day if there's so much as a murder she can hear. We have to be in a quiet dark room or it's just a milky mess. If its not just that, it might be her moving on. You've fed her for 8 months though- that's brilliant! Don't take it personally.

Welovegrapes Tue 19-Mar-13 22:20:48

I think the advice generally is that you should be expressing around the same number of times and times a day that she fed before the strike.

If possible and you get enough bm ideally you would feed her just ebm. But if there isn't enough, ff will be needed to make sure she gets enough milk feeds.

McPheetStink Tue 19-Mar-13 22:26:22

I think my supply has dwindled a bit because of it, and I'm pretty sure my right breast is almost dry now confused I am a bit lop sided blush

I've always found expressing hard. My boobs struggle with it for some reason.

MammaCici Wed 20-Mar-13 08:20:45

Having a decent pump can make a big difference. It sounds like a nursing strike rather than self weaning. If you are not ready to give up would you consider a hospital rental pump? Herbs such as fenugreek could get your milk supply up again. Good luck.

McPheetStink Wed 20-Mar-13 10:10:07

I didn't know they hired out. How do I go about this?

Tbh, yes my pump is a rubbish manual thing, because it's all I could afford confused

I'm off to town in a short while, so where do I seek out fenugreek?

MammaCici Wed 20-Mar-13 10:56:47

Fenugreek from a health food shop. Maternity hospitals usually hire out pumps. I hired a hospital pump (medela brand) for a while. The daily charge isn't usually much but it does start to clock up. I ended up purchasing a medela swing pump. I found it almost as good (if not as good) as the hospital grade one but personal ones shouldn't be shared or bought secondhand. Shop around online for the best deal and maybe hire a hospital one for the meantime. I also had a medela handpump which I found pretty useless. The electric ones are much easier.

Please do have a look at the kellymom website for lots of great info on what to do in specific situations. I've lost track of the number of times it saved my bf relationship with DS. He nursed until he was 2 but we had a very rocky start. I'm very glad I stuck with it. I've never heard a mum regret the time spent bf. Best of luck.

McPheetStink Wed 20-Mar-13 14:24:21

I've got some Fenugreek, which I found in H&B.

And am in the process of researching the breast pump hire.

Thank you!!

Iggly Wed 20-Mar-13 14:25:53

Is she teething?

McPheetStink Wed 20-Mar-13 14:31:25

In fits and starts, yes.

She just gets so upset if I offer her the breast, takes a little 'nip' with her teeth, then cries confused

Welovegrapes Wed 20-Mar-13 14:32:59

What if you give her a little dentinox on the sore teeth?

MammaCici Wed 20-Mar-13 14:47:41

Are you getting enough fluids yourself? I always had to have a drink by the bed to make sure I was topped up. You need enough water to be able to produce milk. I must have been drinking about 2.5 to 3 litres every day. If your wee looks concentrated then you aren't getting enough. It should be a very light colour. Btw, fenugreek makes your wee smell funny too! Check out kellymom about how much to take but from what I recall you need to take enough so that you smell like honey (I think it was honey, not a bad smell anyway, don't worry!). I saw results (more milk) after about 3 days.

McPheetStink Wed 20-Mar-13 15:07:22

She's rather addicted to teething gel blush I'm guilty of putting it on her dummy too much blush

I don't drink enough, I'm rubbish at that these days. There's a health visitor I can see in the morning, and she's fab at breast feeding stuff. Fingers crossed she can help ref the above.

I'm just not ready to give in <stamps foot>

Iggly Wed 20-Mar-13 20:46:28

Why not try calpol instead?

Lonelybunny Fri 22-Mar-13 12:57:12

How is it going now? Can I just say there seems to be a pattern regarding 7/8 mo olds with regards to feeding. They seem to reduce their feeds and I'm guessing this is due to solids and an increased independence and being interested in everything going on. My DD is nearly 8 months and a week ago I was so stressed as she also went like this but now 2 weeks on we are back on track. Reduce the amount of solids you are giving her and see if this will encourage her back on. Could she be coming down with a cold or teething pain? I don't think milk in bottles is a good idea as you will get her too used to those bit maybe water in a sippy cup so she isn't dehydrated and milky solids between feedings. I'm sure things will pick up. Try and express even if nothing comes out . Let us know how it's going.

McPheetStink Sat 23-Mar-13 17:04:53

Right now I'm sat in tears, because I can't even express. It's taken nearly an hour to get 1oz. I don't know what to do. This is really stressing me out, and no one seems to get how important this is to me sad

ChunkyEasterChick Sat 23-Mar-13 17:18:59

I can understand it must be so frustrating when you're stressed about your DD not feeding. However, deal with the expressing thing as a separate issue. If you can crack the expressing, it will take the pressure off of you regarding your DD's feeding (imo).

1) if its still the manual, I seriously struggled with that. My medela swing is ace. It has 2 speeds of suction to mimic the baby's suck - a fast initial one & s long slower such once let-down has happened. Try to mimic that perhaps with the manual?
2) if she will feed sometimes, can you pump at the same time? That way you will be stimulating your supply & encouraging your breasts to 'give it up' to a pump.
3) have you tried a heat pack before pumping to encourage let down? Fill a disposable nappy with hot water from the tap & it'll stay warm...
4) do you have a picture &/or video of your LO to look at? Best if you can hear her cry.
5) eat oats. Along with the fenugreek, it should help up your supply good excuse to eat flapjacks smile

Hth.

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