Feeling stuck & don't know how to deal with situation

[lazzaroo]

DD2 is 10 weeks and ebf. I posted in the early days about hating bf. This hasn't really changed but we can't get her to take a bottle ( or a dummy for that matter). We 've tried all kinds of bottles, different milk, different people etc etc. I've read so much about it t's driving me mad!

I don't necessarily want to give up feeding altogether. I just want the choice & option to go out, or go to bed early for that matter! I'm shattered & very tearful about feeling so trapped. I'm not just being horribly selfish. I have other reasons too, I'm not sure she's getting enough at each feed, she's suffering with wind, I have oversupply so dread feeding in public as I spray everywhere! I'm just not very good at it.

We failed to get my DD1 to take a bottle so she never did. I just didn't want same situation again. Do I just try & get used to idea that she will be stuck to me for the foreseeable future? Will she suddenly get the hang of it? When is eArliest they might use cup?

[MamaBlue4]

Have you tried the NUK bottles or soothers? Apparently they are flat like a mothers nipple while nursing.

Just a random idea, has your bf tired to feed her shirtless so they're skin to skin?

[claudedebussy]

one thing about the dummy i didnt realise, and when i tried this technique with no. 3 it worked really well:

if you're distressed and someone sticks something unknown in your mouth it's not going to help is it? you're going to want that thing out.

try the dummy when she's relaxed and happy a few times. NOT when she's upset.

then when she's got used to it in a calm, happy environment then try it when she's upset.

apologies if you've already tried that.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Yes I got my cousins DS to take a dummy just like that. She'd been trying when he was hungry and waiting for his bottle. I waited until he had finished feeding and was very dozy, result!

If she won't take a bottle could someone try cup feeding her? Have a look here and here. If you search the Mn archive there will be lots of threads on bottle refusal too.

You aren't selfish either. Feeding a baby, being responsible for it and coping with the rest of family life is hard. Try to take things east for a while. If finances allow do your shopping online, get a cleaner and have a few takeaways or ready meals. Have you got someone who could let you have a lie in this weekend and/or take Lo out for a walk for an hour after a feed?

[lazzaroo]

Thank you all for replying. We have tried all sorts of teats, including nuk. She just chews or pushes it around with her tongue.

I just needed to vent this morning as I am so disappointed to have ended up in this position again.

Funny you should mention online shopping....I persuaded DH that we needed to give it a Go just this week! :-)

Have just fed her & she's just woken from a sleep so will grab a dummy and see what she thinks!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Have you tried a sling too? My dd didnt really like being put down but would happily snooze in a sling while I played with DS or cooked the tea.

[lazzaroo]

Yes, lots of people recommended a sling so I bought one. She didn't get on with it at all. I did invest in a second hand baby swing though and it has saved my sanity! The rocking motion helps get her off to sleep & if she's overtired I also use ocean sounds which really calm her down and also helps mask the noises of DD1!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

We had a baby swing with DS and it was brilliant. Dd hated it! Once heard someone who had had 6 DC say, you still don't know what's wrong with them, you just know more tricks

[lazzaroo]

That makes me feel better :-) tomorrow is another day & I know I will probably feel different about it all. Just don't want to be wishing this special time away.

[cmt1375]

try making sure the teat is warm when you put it in her mouth, just means holding the bottle upside down for 30 seconds or so before you try and feed her. Your nipple is warm when it goes into her mouth so that is what she is used to. It worked for DS1... DS2 was another story.

[5madthings]

jilted that's very true, each baby taught me new tricks! I had a swing for ds3 and it was a godsend so I could shower, cook etc.

[claudedebussy]

do you know what? i felt just the same with my babies. just felt so out of control and like if i could just get some space i'd be ok, but there would be this little helpless bundle that wouldn't even let me make a cup of tea without serious plotting and planning.

it will pass, and you will remember wonderful times with your baby. how they just sink into your arms in total relaxation and calm. how they trust you and love you so completely. their smell. their unbelievably soft wisp of hair.

but having a newborn is so so hard. it's the hardest thing i've had to get through.

cut yourself some slack and have a massive chocolate cake and a glass of wine.