Breastfeeding 2 year old really taking its toll(4 Posts)
DS2 is 2 in a couple of weeks. We co-sleep and I have organised my work so I do a couple of hours at weekends/evenings, and am with him and DS1 (3y) all day every day. DS2 breastfeeds more than ever, day and night. We have tried to not co-sleep but I won't do CIO and he ends up waking literally every 10-20 minutes and howls if DH goes in (for some reason he really hasn't bonded that well with DH). I always end up going in and because he wakes so often, I stay there. At the moment we all have flu, and DS2 is feeding ALL THE TIME, obviously for comfort as much as anything but it is now really impacting on our family life. (It's not just cos of the flu; the past few months he has steadily wanted to feed and cuddle more and more. When I leave the house for work, he howls most of the time). I just don't know what to do. DH and I never sleep in the same bed (DH ends up in with DS1 who still wakes a good 3 -4x a night) and I feel like my family is falling apart. This morning on his way to work, DH said'It's got to stop, when are you going to stop?" This is the first time he's not been supportive, and I feel it's really telling. I just don't know how to stop, he's never had a bottle, or cows milk. I feel like the only option is getting a full time job and I don't want to do that! Any HELPFUL suggestions are really welcome.
I had a similar problem with my daughter at 2 ( It was 10 years ago so I don't remember all the details).
Firstly I decided to stop all daytime feeds and replace breastmilk with cows milk in a sippy cup. It is easier to be stronger in the day. I also wore a strong bra and clothes were there was no ability for DD to catch me off guard. I just breastfed in bed only, at night and first thing in the morning.
Then a few months later I had enough of this. I am not one to plan in advance. I couldn't have said to myself I would stop breastfeeding in 2 weeks. It would have made me too sad. I just woke up one day and decided I had enough. I told DD that mummy had no more milk and offered the sippy cup. I also wore a bra to bed at night for about 2 weeks till there was no more milk. When I took it off DD had access to the breast again. She asked for a feed I said there was no more milk. She has a quick try and of course all the milk had gone. She never asked again.
This was my experience and I am sure others have done it differently. Good luck.
Does DS2 go to nursery or any groups where he is away from you? It might help him to feel more independent. My DS2 is 2.5 and has been so much more confident since he started rising 3's. He did go to nursery when he was 8 months but I stopped working when he was one so I think he forgot he could manage by himself.
Does he drink from a cup? Could you try giving him water for a couple of feeds during the night and slowly build it up? I know he won't be very impressed to start!!
Are the boys in a room together, would that help or make it worse? My boys are 6&2.5 and we put the together last summer hols to decorate DS2 room. The room looks lovely now but you guessed it they refuse to part now! Would have picked a different colour scheme
not bloomin fireman Sam had I known what would happen! DS2 is far more settle in with DS1.
Not sure if any of this is helpful or not, it's all I can think off. I don't think I could do CIO either but thankfully I've never had to, mine are happy with a quick cuddle and head stroke and told its alright!
I am so with you on the bfeeding & sleeping (or lack of) impacting on family life. Dd2 is 2.5 & although I love bfeeding I've wanted to stop for the last 9 months but due to circumstances have continued, now she seeks comfort from feeding more than ever. Dp although thinks it should stop, wants it to stop without any help from himit seems. Also when I have previously tried refusing milk he ends up telling me to feed her as it stops the crying straight away.
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