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I hate breastfeeding and weaning!

(16 Posts)

Can't win, I have tried so hard to carry on breast feeding, I have the illusion that my DS will be able to self wean. He is 7.5 months and I can feel my 4th bout of mastitis coming on. He had posterior tongue tie, think he may still have it as I have never had a pain free feed, and he still can't latch properly, he still feeds every 2 hours daily and every hour in the night, at least!

The 3rd lactation consultant I have seen was shocked that I could continue with how bad his latch was and said she couldn't help me, lol!

I just want to rant about how much I hate it at the moment, in fact, I have never liked it, don't know why I continue, the pain his tongue tie caused was far worse than my 40 hour labour. Weaning is not going any better, he wants food so much and is always stealing it but he gags the whole time and sometimes chokes it's so scary. Maybe I should just keep him on purees the rest of his life. Went to see HV other day who must have been all of 16 years old who asked how weaning was going, I explained and her response was....he's 7.5 months now you really need to get a move on with it!

I am scared that if I give up bf then I will have no way to settle him in the night, he wakes at least every hour and will only be settled by the boob....I'm tired enough as it is can't be doing with rocking a 20lbs baby to sleep 12 times a night!

I don't know why I'm posting, I'm just in one of those shit moods where I want to rip my boobs off and buy a new pair :-) Anyone been there...!?

EauRouge Thu 07-Feb-13 16:16:10

She said she couldn't help you?! shock Bloody hell. Was she a registered one? Well done for carrying on as long as you have. Is there another lactation consultant you can see nearby? Some of them travel. Try here. If you want to wean then a BFC will be able to help you come up with a weaning plan.

Gagging is normal for a baby new to solids, it's one of the ways they learn- it does sound bloody scary though! If you stick to soft foods like bits of banana, pear etc then it shouldn't be too much of a problem. A 7.5mo will still be getting most of his calories from milk anyway.

Rant away anyway. Sometimes you have a shit time and you just need to vent for a bit. I was going to say get it off your chest but that's probably the wrong turn of phrase!

Yeh, well she gave me the usual advice about latching and when it didn't work she said she couldn't help then :-( she was very nice but like everyone else, just seems to know the general answers that help most people but don't help me.

I know the gagging is usually normal, but he has been trying a variety of foods for a while now and he still does it just as much even with soft foods....I fear it's the tongue tie rearing it's ugly head. Want to see a private LC specialist in TT but shes bot returning my calls! One thing after another :-(

McBaby Thu 07-Feb-13 17:24:56

I feel your pain totally! LO is six months and never had a pain free week till last few days. I had TT cut for 4th time on tuesday With a course of cranial osteopathy first!

I have seen so many people who said there is nothi g they could do including my Heath visitor who just told me never to breast feed again despite my recurring mastitis and a baby who appears to be unable to latch on to a bottle (she won't even suck my finger)! Not sure how that would have helped any of us.

So there is hope! I would get the TT re looked at its no too late! And there are some surgeons who will still do it now without GA.

Oh god, when do they introduce GA?I really need to get a move on if it's getting to that stage!

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Thu 07-Feb-13 17:38:08

Hope I don't get flamed. I'm really into bf, but if its making your life miserable, why don't you start ff, even occasionally? 71/2 months is a good run and I cannot believe you have got so far while still finding it painful. The nighttime feeds could be a bit of a vicious cycle, using you 12 times a night as a dummy. No way a baby that age needs so many feeds.
Op, main thing is, do you want to carry on?

Not gonna flame you, I'm all for bf I think it's great, but I hate it, lol. That's the best way I can explain.

Even if he is using me as a dummy it's still a massive part of bf that I will lose and that goes for when he needs comfort in the day.

He has a milk intollerance and would need prescription formula which I could get, but I just feel like I would be giving up...it was so hard for the 1st 3 months until the agony calmed down a bit, that anything that is less painful than that I feel like I should be able to get through.

I guess I just so badly want to do it because it turns out I love the idea of it, and I really envy those of you who can do it without problems, but not going to flame you, it's not your fault!

McBaby Thu 07-Feb-13 19:20:46

My little one has milk intolerance to! I'm not glad your going through the same thing but I'm happy there are other people with the similar issues I was beginning to think I was the only one when everyone keeps saying there is nothing they can do to help!

The surgeon I see said she stops if they have teeth! Apparently scissors in mouth and teeth are not a good combination with a wiggly active baby. NHS guidelines are 12 weeks I believe without GA.

melonribena Thu 07-Feb-13 19:32:14

I'm here with a 6 mth old with a twice snipped posterior tongue tie that's reattached! I'm waiting for the nhs at the moment.
I've had 4 weeks of pain free feeding from 10-14 wks and its been agony again since!
Mine feeds sometimes hourly through the night as well!
He has a suspected milk allergy too. Would you mind me asking how your know your babies have a milk intolerance? My baby gets blotches on face but that's it. I wonder if there's a link between posterior tongue tie and milk intolerance?
Do your babies also have eczema?
I have no advice but I understand.

melon expected milk intolerance as his dad has it and I do too (to a lesser extent) but one night when TT pain got too much we tried formula and he got really bunged up immediately, like a cold but came on while he was feeding. That was the end of that!

mcbaby oh shit...he has 6 teeth :-(

melonribena Thu 07-Feb-13 20:10:38

Thank you! My ds has never had any problems with formula on the odd occasion he's had it (also when tt became too much) so I wonder if it actually is a milk intolerance

zoechristina Thu 07-Feb-13 20:18:24

Wow I feel for you. We've had similar issues with tongue and lip tie, my baby had only managed to get to 14lbs by 9 months and no-one found her tongue tie until 2 weeks ago (she was 5lb 7 when born at 39 weeks - but has managed to drop a centile). Everyone kept fobbing me off with anti-acid medicines and 'silent reflux'.

A week ago I paid for a dentist to use a water laser to get rid of both her tongue and lip tie and we are now having osteopathy sessions which seem to be really helping too. There haven't been any massive improvements yet we are getting there slowly and surely and obviously she's got 9 months of habits to break.

Unfortunately it took me finding a private lactation consultant to find out she had tongue and lip tie in the first place but she used to feed every 1-2 hours in the day for no more than 2 mins at a time and the same if not more at night this has gone down considerably in the last week since the op and she seems to be eating more solids. She's always struggled taking a bottle and eating from a spoon, she's slowly getting her head around the spoon and is taking some floz from a bottle every day (i need to get her off the boob between 8-6 before I go back to work in 3 months.
The tongue tie has meant I have definately had to take my full 12 months off work as she's been so hard to wean.

Anyway... I'd recommend the water laser frenectomy and speaking to Charlotte from www.milkmatters.org.uk she has been my life safer! I'm just hoping the tongue tie doesn't reattach as I think I might lose the plot! God knows how you haven't already.

Zoe

melonribena Thu 07-Feb-13 20:54:48

Glad you've got sorted Zoe! Whereabouts are you? The water laser sounds great

McBaby Thu 07-Feb-13 21:28:46

How is the feeding with tongue tie and teeth! I'm petrified her latch will mean I have to stop feeding the moment she gets teeth as it will be so uncomfortable!

zoechristina Thu 07-Feb-13 22:00:11

I was bitten quite a lot but my girl wouldn't take a bottle or eat many solids and her weight was dropping rapidly so I had no choice but to keep going to the hourly demands and biting. I'm in West Yorkshire the procedure was done in Huddersfield. I think the milk matters website may be down but they deal with people all over the UK. Am I allowed to put the number on here?

zoechristina Thu 07-Feb-13 22:03:26

Oh no sorry it's back now might just have been my end. If I can be any more help please let me know. I'd really recommend the water laser. I think the lactation consultant said someone in London does them too.

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