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EBF, not wanting to wean, in a mess... Help!

(4 Posts)
OrchidFlakes Wed 06-Feb-13 21:59:00

I'm hoping someone more experienced than me can help as I'm in a mess.

DS is 6 months next week and I'm preparing to start weaning and dreading it. I'm not sure if it's because it's a move away from babyhood but I just feel bereft.

He is EBF and I love feeding him and will continue as long as I can. However this too is troubling me, in order for me (and him) to get a little independence it would be helpful if he would have a bottle of BM once in a while but that too makes me feel so sad. I feel like I need and want to be with him 24/7 and wonder if I am excluding DH a bit.

Is this just a phase that will pass? I feel like I'm in a mess I'm not sure how to get out of.

fhdl34 Wed 06-Feb-13 22:15:23

I felt the same, I felt sad about the thought of weaning from when my DD was about 2 months old because I loved BFing so much.
I started weaning when she turned 6 months and the day before and the actual 1st day she had solids, I was very emotional.
But, the fact that she was so excited and enjoyed it so much (we did BLW), really made it easier to deal with. She was so happy with her new activity. I didn't think she'd swallow anything for weeks and after 25 minutes of wrestling to pick up a piece of banana, she chewed and swallowed a bit (wouldn't have known if it hadn't shown up in her nappy 5 hours later!).
Re DH being excluded, from when DD was born, he always changed her nappies when he was not at work and apart from for the first few weeks where we alternated, he always did her baths in the evenings and still does. I really felt it was important for him to have those times 1-2-1 with her and I think it's paid off because the other week when he wasn't here to bath her as he'd gone out direct from work, she signed and said his name twice on the way upstairs for her bath because she obviously knew he should've been there. She wasn't upset, just said and signed for him.
You can give him expressed BM in a sippy cup at this age, my DD had her first proper drink of expressed milk at about 9 months old when I had to go on a training course with work for a whole day and DH gave it to her in a sippy cup, the same way he would've done a bottle. The only time prior to that that he attempted to give her expressed milk, she took 10ml and spat most of that down her chest and decided to wait for me instead, she was 5 months old at the time and I was only gone 3 hours.
Hopefully your DS will enjoy the experience as much as my DD did and that really helped soften the blow.

blushingmare Wed 06-Feb-13 22:46:25

I know what you mean - I felt/feel very similar. DD is now 8 months and we started weaning at 6 months. I wish I started a bit later as the first month was a bit stressful as she didn't really take to it that well. But now, she's really enjoying her food and I'm enjoying seeing her eat. It's helped massively that we've done BLW - I love watching her pick up her food and feed herself - I marvel at her developing skills and feel really proud of her smile I think the fact that she feeds herself what she wants has helped with that transition because I don't feel like I'm forcing anything onto her and it's lovely seeing her be interested in the food.

She still has at least 4 day time breastfeeds, although these have reduced in duration but it's a gradual thing so not like she was totally all boob one day and nothing the next. She usually has 2 night feeds and I think these have actually increased in duration more recently. So what I'm trying to say is your DS will still be very reliant on your milk for a good while yet - it doesn't all stop at weaning! And we have that lovely cuddly feeding to sleep every night still smile

I'm inexplicably averse to seeing her with a bottle. Don't know why, just don't want her to have one - think I'm a bit weird! So my plan for going back to work in 2 months is she will have ebm from a cup. We'll see if this works out.

Anyway - enjoy the weaning if you can. It took me a while to relax and enjoy it, but now I really am and so is DD. It's just the next natural step for them and the first in a lifetime of letting our children become a bit more independent!

blushingmare Wed 06-Feb-13 22:53:16

Oh and about excluding DH - I think I was a bit like that too. But weaning has actually really helped me chill out about that. He can give her her meals as well as me although I have to prepare it and leave strict instructions, which has lead to a natural step in of me leaving the two of them "home alone" together more while I pop out for a bit. We're just getting to the stage where if she's hungry and could do with a milk feed but I'm late arriving she can be passivised with a little snack, which again gives DH more of a role and feeling of being able to fully care for her and makes me feel less anxious about leaving her. It sounds scary when someone's talking about it, but this has all happened very gradually and naturally so it just feels like the right thing to be doing now.

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