Help! Periods not coming back

(41 Posts)
Lostonthemoors Sat 02-Feb-13 08:47:30

I really need to have another baby ASAP as I am 38 and have very irregular cycle when ov - often only 6 cycles a year,

DS is 18 months and still bf, which I am very happy about. Still feeds approx 6 times a day - waking, going to sleep at nap time and waking and then going to bed, with two random feeds somewhere in the day. He sleeps through.

I am really worried about never having another dc but don't want to stop bf DS entirely. I really wanted to let him self wean.

Any advice, anyone?

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Sat 02-Feb-13 08:51:01

I didn't have periods after DS1 until I stopped entirely - even when I was down to twice and then once a day. Six times a day is on the high side for this age group anyway, I think (no judgement, just observation of mine and friends' kids).

He may not self wean - there are extended BFers who would know more but going on to age 2-4 is not unheard of.

PeachTown Sat 02-Feb-13 09:04:25

I know you would like him to self wean but I think you need to prioritise TTC if that's what you want.

You've done such an amazing job for 18 months and your DS will be fine - you may find it heartbreaking to stop though!

Console yourself thinking about how much he will love his sibling.

aufaniae Sat 02-Feb-13 09:19:15

DS is 4.2. He seemed to be self weaning before Christmas but upped his feeds when he got the flu and we're back to a long feed every morning and some nights. I had hoped he'd self wean, but I'm going to have to do more to wean him for my own reasons now.

How would you feel about working towards cutting out daytime feeds? By gently discouraging him in the day, over time, eventually only feeding in bed at night or morning? (Or more when he's ill of course).

aufaniae Sat 02-Feb-13 09:20:23

I'm assuming that if you only feed twice a day your periods will come back? Maybe worth talking to a BFing counsellor?

aufaniae Sat 02-Feb-13 09:21:58

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub I can see twice a day didn't work for you but I wonder if this is fairly unusual?

Lostonthemoors Sat 02-Feb-13 09:22:28

I had really hoped to feed until at least 2.

When I talked to bf counsellor they told me most mothers find periods come back by 18 months sad

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Sat 02-Feb-13 09:25:33

Yes, possibly, also I stopped feeding at 13 months.

aufaniae Sat 02-Feb-13 09:38:48

Lost, if you did decide to wean (and I totally understand your reluctance to) you would presumably go through a process of cutting down.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing! Why not try cutting some daytime feeds, to see what happens, rather than deciding to stop, and take it from there?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 02-Feb-13 09:44:35

Lost do you offer feeds or does he ask for them?

It is tough, I know that DS1's BFing was cut a little short by me being pregnant with DS2, my milk changed and feeding became very painful, but also his latch altered.

How long are you going overnight without feeding? I agree that 6 feeds is on the high side for his age. If you wanted to cut back without refusing a feed then try being out of the house at the time he would normally ask. DS2 is 22 months, but for some while has been to busy to think about BF when we are out.

Lostonthemoors Sat 02-Feb-13 10:23:49

The being out and about is a very good idea - he normally asks around mid morning and mid afternoon - maybe I could preempt with an exciting snack of something solid?

aufaniae Sat 02-Feb-13 11:30:22

The snack may well help, but as it's about comfort (a great thing!) and an established way of doing things, as much as the actual nutrition, changing your day / being out at those times he usually feeds sounds like a good suggestion to me. Is that possible? Even if it's not every day?

aufaniae Sat 02-Feb-13 11:31:14

Oh sorry didn't read your post properly blush
I blame my phone!

squidgeberry Sat 02-Feb-13 11:39:18

I night weaned at 18 months to encourage periods to return and cut down to 2 feeds a day at 2 to encourage a return to a regular cycle. I remember reading that if you have a six hour break in feeds it might be enough? I was still having fairly irregular cycles when I conceived - 33-41 days.

Now I'm pregnant and thought dd was weaning as she was barely feeding at all - sometimes nothing for a few days, but she has upped her feeds to at least 3 a day now I'm 26 weeks, so I think she'll carry on for a fair while - she's now 2.8

I night weaned DS2 at a similar age to get my cycle back. He is back to night feeds hmm but cycle is relatively steady and I am definitely ovulating.

It was as simple as telling him "No, the milk is having a rest, you can have milk in the morning" and offering water instead. He was pretty cross but got over it quickly until he got ill and regressed but hey ho.

And fwiw he was going 12 hours without bf during the day at least half the week before that - it is something about night milk that does it. The hormones are different.

RooneyMara Sat 02-Feb-13 11:56:43

Hi OP, I breastfed ds1 till 16 months, then mine came back about a month later. Then with ds2 I breastfed him till he was 4 and a half and went to school. They came back at 28 months - when he was 2 and 4 months.

I was still feeding him quite a bit at that stage.

Fwiw mine are normally regular, even short cycles, eg 24 days etc. So it doesn't mean you're weird or infertaile if your periods are still AWOL.

Good luck x

piprabbit Sat 02-Feb-13 11:59:22

My periods came back about 4 months after DS dropped down to have a night feed only (I was 38 too). He was about 2 yo when they restarted.

Lostonthemoors Sat 02-Feb-13 12:18:10

Tried this morning - gave a snack just before he would usually feed and then took him out.

Aaaggh didn't work at all! Just had to feed him in the middle of town and now feel guilty for trying to distract him when I could see he was starting to get towards the end of his tether sad

I want to do don't offer, don't refuse, but he can say milk and will ask for it at the usual times.

Will try again tomorrow, as I think he's particularly tired today - he is teething and wanted to fall asleep feeding in the middle of town, which isn't like him - normally doesn't nap until 1/2.

Lostonthemoors Sat 02-Feb-13 12:26:06

About the gaps in feeds, at night there is at least a 6 hour gap, if not 8 hours. I work one day a week out of the house and on that day there is at least an 8 hour gap in feeds.

One obvious thing I should probably stop doing - only just realised blush is expressing - am leaving him just a little milk for when I'm away - around 80mls and I should try to stop expressing now, I think, but don't want to leave him without his usual source of comfort sad will try to reduce that slowly from this week.

aufaniae Sat 02-Feb-13 12:58:17

That sounds like a good idea.

"don't want to leave him without his usual source of comfort"

BFing is more than the actual milk. His comfort comes from the act of feeding, as much as the milk.

If he finds expressed milk comforting he'll likely find cows or other forms of milk as comforting when you're not there.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 02-Feb-13 13:07:21

By the age he is now it is the actual feeding from you that is the comfort thing. He will be just fine while you are out smile

What I did with both of mine was get them used to cows milk in a cup mid-afternoon from around a year old. And when we are out I always have some milk in a beaker and a piece of fruit for DS2 if he gets hungry.

From personal experience, my body needed to see a regular 8-10 hour gap between a feed most days before my periods returned.

Lostonthemoors Sat 02-Feb-13 14:41:52

Thanks so much for the advice to all of you - so lovely not to feel alone with this as in RL anyone I know who is really pro bf just says 'go with the flow and self wean' and everyone else would just tell me to stop bf sad

squidgeberry Sat 02-Feb-13 17:32:42

Just remembered that dd wouldn't accept cows milk as a replacement to boob but would accept chocolate milkshake (made with a half teaspoon of powder and cows milk). Not the healthiest replacement I know, but she will now drink cows milk plain after I weaned her off the choc milkshake smile

Lostonthemoors Sat 02-Feb-13 18:23:43

Interesting squidge!! DS won't drink cows milk either.

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