silent reflux or tired and doesn't know what to do with herself 4wk old. Help needed please.

[StateofConfusion]

Dd2 turned 4 wks yesterday.

Her rough routine is settle for the night at 12-1ish sleep until 4.30, feed, straight back to sleep until 7.30, sleep again until 9.30/10 and then be awake for a while.

She's EBF very content and sleeps well imo. On saturday she cried for two hours, refused feeds and eventually settled after dp walked her around. Went back to normal routine for a few days then Tuesday night cried from 12.20-4.20, wouldn't latch on in all that time, when she eventually took a good feed and went sound asleep.
Last night again, 12.20 arrived and she began to cry again. She'd had a brief scream earlier in the evening but that was a trapped burp, which sitting upright and a few pats soon sorted, she was then very content wriggling on her play mat, looking at me or dp on our knee etc the rest of the evening. Last night I swaddled her and in seconds she dozed off for 10mins and was then calm enough to feed. And slept for four hours, then woke and screamed again refused to feed after 5mins, but quickly settled when dp jigged her about on his lap, she then slept again until 6.30/7ish. Surely a quick few mouthfuls is not enough? I was worried she was hungry for that whole part of the night.

I really don't think she is in pain, the cry is more of a disgruntled angry pick me up now (even though we are holding her) cry, if that makes sense, and she sleeps laid down very happily, plays laid down etc. No back arching or knees up although she does tip her head back once she really gets going with the crying. I'm feeding her so she's more sat up to see if that helps but she's happier laid down, arm thrown up above her head, she really is very relaxed when not in these crying moments.

Anyway, what I'm asking is could this be silent reflux? And if not has anyone got any tips? Its for 1-4hrs at 12pm onwards. Is it over tiredness? (4 and 5yo siblings do mean naptimes often get disturbed poor baby)

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I'm not trained and its probably best if you ring one of the Bfing Helplines, but if she has fed and come off, you can't really force her to go back on, you can offer the other side but if she doesn't want it you can't make her.

Has Dd been checked for tongue tie? It can often appear just like reflux.

[shouldIbecrossaboutthis]

how long does she stay awake for?

If you swaddle her and pop her in a swing with some white noise will she sleep then?

I'm not sure about slient reflux as GP/Helpline might be best bet. Nut I'm good with overtired tips as my DS was an overtired baby and it took me ages to work it all out as he gets ore active the more tired he is! :/

[BigPigLittlePig]

My LO (7 weeks) has silent reflux, and although the crying is similar, there is NO WAY you would get her to lie down contentedly - she either screams or is sick. The fact that you're LO is happy at times to lie down suggests there might be something else going on.

Swaddling, white noise, gentle lights and cuddles are all good ideas.
Hope things improve for you soon, you have my sympathies as screaming babies at 4am can be hard work

[peanutdream]

My 2nd was a great one for this - I think he was exhausted after looking at/hearing his toddler brother run about all day and because I was pretty busy dealing with number 1, (DH was back at work at 2 weeks and worked away, plus we had relocated so took a bit to get a support system/friends going) I often missed/misread his cues I think. Anyway, DS2 used to end up going totally mental, like you said sounding cross and thoroughly fed up and refusing to feed - very frustrating as I knew that if he just would, he would probably fall asleep! Anyway, I actually used a dummy to calm him down - it was like he couldn't suck and swallow at the same time when he was so het up, (my let down is pretty fast so he needed to concentrate and swallow quickly) until he'd sucked on the dummy for a few minutes. Then he got in a sort of zone and I would quickly remove the dummy and latch him on. All very frustrating and confusing but as he got older and more able to cope with the world, it just resolved itself, and I didn't have to use the dummy beyond about two months ish I think, it was just temporary. Sometimes he would only be quiet if I stood next to the radio and danced tho so who knows. And sometimes I just had to walk him round - I couldn't walk him around outside because of DS1 so felt a bit restricted. DS1 never did this so I was also pretty stressed for a bit! They are a total mystery sometimes aren't they!

If her weight is ok etc then you just kind of have to go with them don't you?!

[StateofConfusion]

Thank you for all the replies.

bigpig I'm pretty sure I can rule out reflux now, she's slept in the pram on school run, laid in it awake whilst I ate etc lays under a play gym happily.

Pretty sure its not a tongue tie as he latch is fantastic, I've never had any discomfort feeding and she feeds fantastically except this screamy patch, also ds had a TT so mw checked when she was born.

shouldi her awake times vary, some days she's awake for a solid 30min-1hr others she feeds and doses for minutes and is awake in between for a few hours.

Last night I settled down for bed at 11, after her feeding for an hour and she slept until 12.40 when she started screaming, she did feed for 5mins before getting cross again but snuggled up with dp and a dummy and was asleep by 1am until 4.30, when she got all disgruntled again but a nappy change and some bouncing on my knee with her sat up for a few mins calmed her and she fed and slept until 7.30. She has been very hungry today, so maybe a growth spurts on the way.

She hates white noise but we have been using a lulaby projector thing she got for christmas as it distracts her and she watches it on the ceiling, also hoping that music will become a sleep cue.

Got batterys for the swing today aswell.

I've only put her down once when awake and upset and rocked her in the pram she did dose off but when she woke up minutes later she was worse, we generally co-sleep, but she goes in the pram and sleeps, sleeps in the carseat when we drive, and usually sleeps in the hammock in my room whilst I shower, its just this night-time bit that's baffling us.

[StateofConfusion]

Weight is fine she but on 1lb in 9 days at last weigh in!

[shouldIbecrossaboutthis]

She hates white noise but we have been using a lulaby projector thing she got for christmas as it distracts her and she watches it on the ceiling, also hoping that music will become a sleep cue.

My DS is exactly the same! He is 3 months now and if he's not back in bed 1.5 hrs after he woke he has a total meltdown. Any sort of motion (rocking,patting, jiggling etc) or white noise just seemed to stimulate him.

We now put him in a double swaddle in his room which has a blackout blind with his projector on - the music from it seemed too much for him. He has always been a very alert baby - he never just slept even when he was new born, he was always awake for 90 minutes plus. I've since read that at about your DDs age they should only be awake for 45/60 mins see here

It's only been the last 3/4 weeks he's gone to 'bed' @ 7/8pm after we started to do a much more structured bedtime within 90mins of last wakeup. Before that I would hold him until he slept & would sometimes be able to put him in his buggy in the lounge.

HTH

[StateofConfusion]

We still had a screamy strop from her last night but she settled on me with a dummy at 11.50 and slept until 5, had a bit of a scream then and wouldn't feed so we changed her etc to distract her and she fed and slept until 9.

We are getting there slowly, its now clear the screaming is over tired, doesn't want to be awake just generally disgruntled baby.

[StateofConfusion]

Oh and the swaddle blankets a life saver too!

[zoobaby]

A book by Dr Harvey Karp really helped me to figure out my DS's needs at about the same age. It was a book that pre-dates Happiest Baby, which has really positive reviews, and which I presume covers the 5Ss (swaddling, Shhhhing, um swinging, and can't remember the other two as DS doesn't need to go that far).

[StateofConfusion]

Last night we had no screaming!

Settled down at 11 ish, changed, swaddled and fed, asleep by 11.40, slept until 4.30ish, fed and back to sleep again until morning :)