I think I want to stop breastfeeding?(11 Posts)
DD2 is my third child and coming up to 10 weeks. I have bf my first two (dd1 not without problems, and ended up mix feeding and ds1 bf till 7 months).
I love the whole idea of bf but in reality I am hating it this time.
I am breastfeeding for a total of at least 7 out of every 12 day hours of 7am and 7pm plus nappy changes and sleeping/cuddles and that is a whole lot of time away from my older two.
We have had weight issues and have been under the watchful eye of the hv (who sent us to hospital when she lost weight at 2 weeks). She averages now about 3-4oz a week.
And I am very uncomfortable this time, my boobs have grown bigger with each pregnancy and each bf and have not gone down, I am wearing the biggest bra that I can find which is a Royce 30L and I am still spilling out ridiculously. I have absolutely NO chance of bf in public.
I am actually feeling a little depressed about the whole situation. She is quite an unsettled baby who only sleeps when i walk her in the pram and wakes the minute we come back home so she is far from getting enough sleep. We are not too bad at night at the moment as we co sleep.
I just wish it was easy but i feel it is impacting on my other two. Will she still get some benefit if I start switching to bottles at 12 weeks? Is it selfish of me to put the needs of dc1&2 plus my extreme discomfort over those of my little baby?
Not sure exactly what I am asking, but I just need to know it is ok and that I am not the worst mum in the world as I feel like it. I know it is best for my baby but I just really resent it and actually feel like it is hindering our bonding but also know I will be depressed that it didn't work our how I envisaged it.
Of course it's okay.
Its your body and your baby. You get to decide what's best for all.
Sounds to me like in some ways you want to carry on and in some ways you want to stop.
You've done an amazing job to bf her to 10 weeks and far from doing nothing, that will have done so much for her. She will have lifelong health benefits and be at lower risk of allergies and infections. She will have a lower risk of diabetes and other illnesses.
If you carry on she will get more health benefits and continued immunological protection. You are probably only a few weeks away from it all starting to get much easier.
If you put her onto ff her sleep may well not improve, she could become less settled and have a greater need for your presence because she is not getting the comfort of bf. she will probably still want to be held a lot.
Can you give yourself a point at which you will review - say give it another 2 weeks and see how you feel then? Maybe give yourself a little treat every day as a pat on the back for still doing it - nice biscuits?
If you really want to stop and feel its 100% right for you and her then of course you should - you have already done a great job so far. People on here will be able to offer support.
If you decide you want to continue you will also get a lot of hand holding on here.
Your DD has had three months of breastmilk, which will have been great for her.
You can stop. It is clearly distressing you, and is really not worth becoming depressed about. I breastfed two DCs for over a year each, but would never have done so if I was getting as badly affected as you are. Formula is ok. and
I think you've gotta do what's right for you and your other children as well. It's great that you've breasted her so far but don't beat yourself up about it if you feel it's the right time to stop.
Could you mix feed her? Then maybe someone else could give a couple of bottles to take the burden off you a bit?
I've had to stop at 12 weeks, as DS was refusing the breast. Since then, we have both been a lot happier. He has had 12 weeks of the breast milk, and you need to do whatever makes you happier.
Thank you ladies, I feel better just for sharing how I feel. Will keep going until 12 weeks and reassess I think. Maybe start a night bottle to give me a rest and then perhaps an afternoon one to try and allow me a bit more time with the other two.
Thanks for your replies. Bf is such an emotional roller coaster!
Merry Christmas - sounds to me like you are taking a great approach for you and for her.
Maybe in 2 weeks time the feeding intensity will have gone right down and you'll have decided it's actually easier just to carry on - that's what happened to me
I recently stopped at just 4 weeks as my DD2 was cluster feeding for 7 hours at a time. I had no hope of adequately looking after DD1 during that time. DD2 is happy and content on Formula/ebm much more so than on boob. Having seen how much formula she is guzzling I am sure she was permanently hungry and that was making her frantic. She also still had jaundice at 3.5 weeks which suggests she wasn't getting enough fluid. I have no idea when my supply would have caught up as she was clustering for weeks but we are all much much happier on bottles.
If it makes you feel better we are exactly same DS Is 13 weeks and DD Is 3. I'm barely getting any sleep and he's unsettled in day. Just started with bottles today (he was not keen at all). I feel guilty but keep telling myself if I carry on its for my own needs (to make me feel better) its not best for DH DD or DS we also have weight issue. I'm still expressing and doing bottles half formula half ebm. I read something on net that made me feel better saying 'there's much more to being a mum than feeding your baby'. Good luck and merry Christmas. You're def not alone in feeling how u do xxx
Quick update - 15 weeks and still bf :-). We introduced a night time bottle at 11pm which took a bit of pressure of me and the last two weeks she had started sleeping through till anywhere from 5am to. 7am!!!! She has also started to do that lovely babble/smiling whilst feeding and looking at me - melts me every time! I am of glad I stuck with but am still looking forward to a bit more freedom when she starts solids at 6 months. :-)
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