Thanks everyone for your hopeful responses, I had an excellent NCT breastfeeding counsellor thezoobmeister but unfortunately got in touch with her too late, but we have an agreement that if I'm lucky enough to have another DC she will be in the delivery suite with me - I only managed 3 weeks of BF along with excruciating pain, mastitis, thrush, etc and eventually had a whole day of painfree wonderful BF before the dreaded mastitis caught me again and put an end to it all (not allowed to BF for a week due to strength of antibotics, milk supply too low, etc). As such I know its possible to do but I guess I fear getting so ill again and needing hospitalisation! moneypuzzletree you give me hope, and you are absolutely right, stopping enabled me to get on with enjoying my DS, and my sorrow is fading (think I had a touch of PND tbh). Thanks for the flowers NagooHoHoHo
I was exactly where you are with my daughter, very similar experience. I also have flat nipples so, even without the infections I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to feed a child. I found it really upsetting. Fast-forward 2 years, son born, now 5 months and ebf!!! Yes I had the usual tough start but it calmed down and I am still amazed everyday that it actually works! Different child, totally different experience.
It was the right decision to stop at 12 weeks with my dd, who I was mix feeding from about 7 weeks. Enabled me to get on and enjoy her. I know how you feel, felt sad about it for a long time, but that really does fade, you won't have time to worry about it once you're running after a toddler!
so sorry to hear about your horrible experience OP
I'm pretty sure you'd be able to BF successfully next time. But especially since you've been dwelling a lot on what happened, might it be helpful to speak to a breastfeeding counsellor for a debrief so to speak, and to maybe get some tips for next time inc how to avoid mastitis?
Sadly I had to give up BF following a bout of infected mastitis and sepsis resulting in 3 days in hospital for iv antibiotics. I was devastated by the whole episode as BF my DS was so important to me, and its only 3 months on that I am starting to feel stronger. However I do still remained somewhat obsessed by BF and wondering if anyone has experienced sepsis and then gone on to successfully BF successive DC