ebf. very tired. still can't get regular showers and lunch after 14weeks...

(38 Posts)
geekette Sun 02-Dec-12 22:30:16

hi all... feeling a bit down. I knew breastfeeding wouldn't be easy but I didn't know i would still be struggling so far in.

my lo is now 14weeks old and gaining weight very well. we have always co-slept to make the night feeds easier but it doesn't seem to work. I am so tired all the time still...

problem 1: we never mastered feeding lying down. everything gets soo wet! and sleeping in the damp just isn't great. hence, I have to situp for night feeds. tiring.

problem 2:when she wakes me at 2am-ish I just can't get back to sleep.
problem 3: she goes down at 6/7 and stirs at 11 or 12 for her first feed of the night. after that it feels like she stirs a further 4 times before 7 am. what am I doing wrong? why is she feeding so often at night??? I have tried putting her to bed later but that just ended in over tiredness tears...

problem 4: she still seems to feed every two hours during the day! I can't get anything done. I just hate it sad

sorry it is long but help me. please.

fishcalledwonder Mon 24-Dec-12 01:06:46

Sounds like you're doing great. I think all you can do is take it a day at a time. It's so hard though. When you're not getting any sleep it is impossible to think about anything else.

It will get easier. My DD fed constantly for 5 sodding months, but it slowly improved from about 4 months. Finding her thumb made a big difference. Now when I watch sucking madly on it as she falls asleep, I think: "that used to be me!"

funchum8am Mon 24-Dec-12 04:47:21

i am going the same with good evening sleep then constant wakings after 2am. Some is comfort with my dd and some is wind or constipation as she is on gaviscon for reflux. I am so tired....just wanted to say you are not alone sad . Some of the tips here are really helpful, thanks to all the posters.

geekette Mon 31-Dec-12 22:17:05

I just want to cry. I don't know why the tears aren't flowing. Lord knows my heart is in the pit.

What a great start to the year. not.

It's all gone tits up sad
After all the block feeding to rebalance her foremilk imbalance and regulate my flow (which worked) and me, going back to feeding myself loads of cake (which I am uncomfortable with but seems to have worked to); I achieved a FEW days of bliss. Not even a week sad

What was the point of trying. She slept from 7pm-1am a few times.. Yay...

Now she will only have a couple of naps in the day. some long, some short. They don't seem to have rhyme or reason any more.

She starts being tired and ready for bed at 6pm but low and behold, she's treating it as a nap hmm and waking up an hour later.
But is still tired and will grizzle for the next 4 hours till she dozes off again at 10pm. only to awaken every two hours. No more long sleep. The first time she did this we got her a cot. This didn't change a thing. I still use the cot now, I don't know why... Maybe because I spent money on it.

Her poo of the day which used to be on waking is now just before she falls asleep, 3hours into the grizzling when I am already more than fed up.

Anyway, this thread is no longer in the appropriate topic as the feeding part which i needed help with is alright now. She has balanced into every two hours which although frequent is regular and better than every hour.

But I do not know where else to moan. I can't think of an appropriate topic... I don't know what help I want or need. Sorry for the length. and thanks to all those who have helped along the way.

geekette Mon 31-Dec-12 22:22:13

Typos galore. sorry.

geekette Mon 31-Dec-12 22:42:08

Just re-reading the original thread and I need to add:

After initial success with feeding lying down with on of the breasts, I just could not feel comfortable doing it. I do not know why... Had to give it up and resigned myself to sitting up. Now that she feeds every two hours at night, I seem to be able to manage getting some winks between feeds.

As for problem 4 and still being in PJs during the day, I have somehow accepted that that is life and looking forward to that passing soon. Thank to the posters who have given me hope there. And thanks to the posters who have reassured me that a few tear so that I can get clean at least isn't so bad.

still stuck on the lack of sleep...

geekette Mon 31-Dec-12 22:48:52

i'm going to look at this thread next year to remind myself how incoherent sleep deprivation made me.

HelloBear Mon 31-Dec-12 22:58:00

Sleep deprivation sucks! No advice sorry, currently averaging 4/5 hours a night (not in 1 go) so know how you feel.

But this is my second so I know....I will sleep again and OP so will you!

Take ANY opportunity to sleep.

Sorry no help what so ever but sat with feeding baby while my DH snores next to me, a crazy NYE!!!!

LaCiccolina Mon 31-Dec-12 22:58:33

U are 14 weeks into a very new life. Honestly u would have given any other new item longer to bed in. I remember this feeling of overwhelment very very well. I cannot tell u how early in ur new mummy status u r. Nothing is yet normal. Sleep for baby and u will continue to alter, feeding will continue to alter . Patterns stay for what feels like a nano second before altering yet again. You are not doing anything wrong. It just is at this point. Try everything as sometimes something will work. Then baby will change again.

The time of year, darkness, dreariness, rain etc all don't help either. But it does get better slowly. Look back a bit and I'm sure u will see some improvements. And a beautiful growing baby.

geekette Mon 31-Dec-12 23:04:13

Clasping all your hands virtually and clinging to every word spoken as if my life depends on it.

I need something to believe in and mostly i need to believe this isn't permanent.

Thank you.

Loislane78 Tue 01-Jan-13 11:14:52

Sorry to hear the sleep hasn't improved geek sad

I think a lot of babies stir after an hour as that's their sleep cycle but beyond what you're already doing/have tried/has been suggested I can't really add anything other than it sucks but you've made it this far!!! It can only be so much longer...!! (hope so for my own sanity as well)

I think using cot is a good thing - training for later.

There's always someone here to get it all out to who knows what you're going through smile

Hope you goyt loads of nice PJs for Xmas!! smile

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Tue 01-Jan-13 11:23:25

Sweetheart, here's the thing. Newborns, and yours is barely out of that category, are HARD fucking work. I mean, we all think we know this. I talked to lots of friends who had babies, I read the books, I lurked on parenting forums. I was totally prepared.

And then I actually had the baby, and ooooh boy.

At fifteen weeks (yes?) she's coming into a classic sleep regression phase, so it doesn't surprise me that she slept well (in my book, 7-1 is good! I know it doesn't feel that way) for a while and is now back to this. The good news is it is not permanent by any means.

My second child is harder than my first in basically every way. Worse sleeper, more active and unsettled, now she's a year old I am getting into much, much more extreme toddler behaviour than I ever got with DD1. And of course all of this while dealing with two children instead of one, and the elder doesn't nap any more. AND YET, this is the important bit, it is NOWHERE near as hard as the first few months with my first. If you get through this bit, you are a rock star and you have done the worst bit. Honestly. Honestly, honestly. And you're nearly there, you're nearly out of the newborn/sleep regression phase and you're about to start getting laughing and sitting up and responding to you more and more and it's just going to get better and better.

This isn't you failing at anything. This is you SUCCEEDING. Succeeding brilliantly. You have a healthy, well fed baby who looks to you for comfort, and a supportive partner who has stepped up, and you are a strong parental team and she is a well loved baby who feels secure, and you are doing an AMAZING job.

geekette Wed 02-Jan-13 00:36:00

Hey Lois smile

Feeling a bit better. Thanks to everyone. I just took today one hour at a time and I managed to make dinner and clean up a little bit without leaving her to wail for hours on end.

Tortoise No truer word has yet been spoken.
I was prepared for hard work. I was not prepared for the change in the definition of "work".
When I think of work, I think of a long, hard, slog. Toil. Travails. Not of racking my brain to remember the words to 'silent night'. Not of waking up feeling tired after having done not much more than carry bundle to breast and put bundle down again.
It is good to know that someone thinks I am doing something right, even if I have never met you. It gives me the courage to continue.

She is now 18 weeks old. Today was better than yesterday.
That's good enough.

noblegiraffe Wed 02-Jan-13 01:06:17

You need help at night. If she is waking hourly it's not hunger and you don't have to do all the get ups. Your DP should step in and take over some so that you can get a bit more sleep in between. It doesn't matter if he is working in the day, you cannot continue like this, it will drive you mad.

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