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Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Infant feeding

What do I do?

32 replies

Nbg · 07/04/2006 18:00

I was going to start this thread nearer to the birth but since we're moving and the internet might be going, now might be better.

Basically, I don't know what to do when it comes to feeding this new baby.
With dd I was 100% for breast but when it came to it, it didn't really work out.
Firstly one of my nipples is inverted so dd couldn't latch on and the second breast just wouldn't produce anything.
The morning after I had dd, I had a midwife squeezing one boob and an auxillary nurse squeezing the other, trying to get some colostrum into a dish to syringe feed dd.

Things got worse from there and I ended up bottle feeding as dd was getting nothing. This worked out fine, dd was happy and still is a happy healthy child.

Now I have to admit I wasn't disappointed in bottle feeding, I was totally happy with my decision and I loved the fact that dh and others could help out with the feeding.

This time I'm thinking I would like to give it another shot but possibly go for mixed feeding.
Would this be successful? Is there a fool proof way of doing it?

I just have so many questions running through my head and my other worry is that I will have to find new ante-natal care when we move (different part of the country) so I'm not sure what support will be there.
My midwife here is fantastic so I know I have lots of help and advice but this will all change in 4/5 weeks time.

I'll have to go now but will check back later.
Any advice/help/info will be greatly appreciated

OP posts:

Report

Skribble · 07/04/2006 18:04

I would give full BF a go and you can always bottle feed if it doesn't work out. My two kids were totally different, DS was so easy to feed, fed every 4 hours and took a god feed. It left me wondering what all the fuss about BFing was.DD was a real pain to feed, literally! She never really latched on right and never fed for long so I was left with sore nipples and a unsatisfied baby.

I would say go with the flow and do what suits you and baby.

Trifle · 07/04/2006 18:18

For me breastfeeding is not the be all and end all of everything. You have already raised an extremely healthy child on bottles and this suited you, your baby and your husband perfectly. I really cant imagine a more embarassing situation with midwives squeezing your boobs. You already feel pretty much like a piece of meat after the birth so being pulled and prodded in all directions and having further invasions on your body is for me totally out of the question. You should do what suits you and your whole family best whether it be mixed, bottle or breast. As you have seen from experience, bottle feeding does have tremendous rewards.

Nbg · 07/04/2006 18:56

Thanks for replies

I mostly agree with you Trifle but part of me wants to try it properly because I missed out on the "experience" last time.
The other part of me thinks NOOOO, don't do it because it was so successful with dd.

OP posts:

moondog · 07/04/2006 18:59

The key is surely in the preparation.
Can't you get those Niplette things to draw out an inverted nipple?
Sounds like you were given a rough deal last time and would really like to have another go.

Have you rung the lovely ladies on the Association for B/feeding Mothers helpline to discuss it?

0870 401 7711

Really hope it works out for you.
We are all here to help too remember.

Nbg · 07/04/2006 19:02

What are they Moondog? Do you have a link?

Not really a rough deal as such, I think they were just trying to help in anyway they could. Maybe not the best but...

I'll keep that number handy and tbh I was kind of relying on MN fow when the time came for support but I don't think I'll have it

OP posts:

moondog · 07/04/2006 19:03

I'll link for you Nbg.
Why do you think you won't get support here??

moondog · 07/04/2006 19:09

\link{www.abm.me.uk\Association for Breastfeeding Mothers}

Also you might like to read this.

\link{http:www.promom.org/101/\101 reasons to breastfeed}

Nbg · 07/04/2006 19:14

Thanks

No I don't mean MN not giving me support but when we move I don't think we will be having internet connection and the baby is due in August.

OP posts:

Raro · 07/04/2006 19:15

I think you should absolutely give BF a go - you have nothing to lose. I don't think you can judge things by midwives in hospital - I was given a different piece of advice by each new shift that came on and was in pieces (almost literally!) by the time i went home. In the end I BF for ages but had a rough 3 months before things really settled for us both. The great thing is, you know if it doesn't work out that you can always do the bottle thing. The MOST important thing is that you are happy and feel good about your choices. I firmly believe that happy mummy = happy babe. Struggling with a method you'd rather not do is completely counter-productive. Those first few weeks are always a bit of a 'mare anyway so you've nothing to lose. Go girl!!!!

moondog · 07/04/2006 19:15

Oh I see!
I hope you find them helpful.
A lot of people rave about the La Leche League and a site called kellymom too.

moondog · 07/04/2006 19:18

Nbg as has been exhaustively discussed on other threads,most m/wives have minimal b/feeding support training anyway. Therefore,unless they have had additional training (and in my hospital,they wore badges saying 'b/feeding counsellor' or 'lactation consultant')they aren't the best peopel to help if things get sticky.

In that case,head for the people I have mentioned.
They do know what they're on about.
(Most of them are unpaid volunteers too.)

Nbg · 07/04/2006 19:18

The ABM, don't have one near where we are moving to and I'm sure I've checked on LLL's site before but I'll have another look.

OP posts:

JoolsToo · 07/04/2006 19:19

have you tried a Niplette for your inverted nipple? I believe they're very good.

Why don't start from 'I'll give it a go' stance and see what happens, it might be entirely different this time - the support staff where you move to might be ace!

At least if you do eventually go to bottles you're confident enough in yourself, not to beat yourself up about it! Good luck Barnsley's kid!

Nbg · 07/04/2006 19:22

I've just had a look at an Avent one. Looks pretty good tbh.

Thanks JT

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Trifle · 07/04/2006 21:20

Nbg - I'm concerned when you say you want to try it 'properly'. Bottle feeding your baby is not 'improper'. I had never really thought that breast feeding was an 'experience'. You try it and if you dont like it/it doesnt work out then so be it but as far as I am concerned an 'experience' is something akin to a bungee jump, trekking the Himalayas or crossing the Antartic. Feeding a baby is simple, either it comes in breast or bottle form.

Nbg · 07/04/2006 21:26

When I say properly I suppose I mean to actually successully feed IYSWIM.
Maybe I didn't give it a good chance last time although I was given an ultimatum in the hospital. Either prove that I could breast feed successfully or bottle feed if not you don't go home.

Even if I could do it for a couple of days I'd be happy.
Like I said earlier bottle feeding was great as dh and I took the night shifts in turns, which for my sanity was fantastic. DD also slept through from 6 weeks and fed every 4 hours from very early on. Don't know if that was anything to do with the bottle but it's another thing to think about I suppose.

OP posts:

JoolsToo · 07/04/2006 21:30

That's a terrible ultimatum Nbg - shocking in fact!
I think you should definitely give it another go, you obviously want to.

I wasn't a breastfeeder myself Trifle, I simply didn't want to (which some people just can't get their head round but there you are!) but from what I hear breastfeeding isn't always 'simple' and can require perseverence and a lot of support, I hope Nbg gets it.

moondog · 07/04/2006 22:27

Nbg,you might look at the hospital experience in a different way.
Some women complain about being turfed out before they have mastered b/feeding,so perhaps they were actually trying to be kind?

Just a thought.

JT people can get their head round the fact that you didn't want to breastfeed. It's the fact that you have to keep saying it in such incongruous contexts that we find a little odd.

Tommy · 07/04/2006 23:01

Just to let youknow my experience as well.. tried really hard to feed DS1 and for lots of reasons it didn't work out and he was mostly formula fed from about 3 weeks which made me (and still does) very
DS2 tripped along 19 months later and I breast fed him for over a year and was able to express 8oz per day - half of which I donated to the milk bank
I would give it a go - at least you know that if it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world (even though it seems it at the time)
Good luck

moondog · 07/04/2006 23:03

How lovely of you to donate Tommy.You must feel so proud.
I wanted to but there wasn't anything spare.

Nbg · 07/04/2006 23:09

This has actually helped me quite alot already.
I'm thinking a bit clearer now.

So what I can do is prepare for the bottle (which we didn't really do last time) but start off with the breast and see how things go.

I'll get the Nipplette too and see if that makes a difference.
I could kick myself as I bought all the expressing equipment for when I had dd and because I never used it, I gave it to the HV to give to a another new mum.

OP posts:

Olihan · 07/04/2006 23:10

I had similar situation with bf with ds. He gained no weight for 3 weeks, had all sorts of threatening conversations with HV, finally caved and gave him formula but had HUGE guilt issues for a long time. Had dd august last year, same situation, no weight gain at all by 3 weeks. tried all sorts of phone help etc, but still no luck so I expressed and bottle fed for a few more weeks until I couldn't hack it any more and went to formula 100%. Having tried all the help avenues I didn't feel as guilty but like you say, would still like to bf successfully. All you can do is go with whatever feels right for you at the time. The extra stress of a toddler and a newborn means dh etc helping with feeds is a god send.

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moondog · 07/04/2006 23:11

Well that was a nice thing to do Nbg.
I gave mine to another MNer.
You can hire pumps from the ABM you know.

Nbg · 07/04/2006 23:19

I'll be seeing my midwife here in a couple of weeks so I'll have a chat with her and then hope and pray I get a good understanding MW when we move.

OP posts:

JoolsToo · 07/04/2006 23:26

'we'?

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