I feel like I've failed at BF

(35 Posts)
horseynewmum Tue 09-Oct-12 20:40:14

My DD is now 20 weeks and I have been EBF since birth. DD weight has dropped from 75th centile to 25th after birth and I have fought against putting her on formula even tho HV said its for the best.

I went to a different clinic the other week and saw another HV as I felt DD had lost weight, she lost 3oz in 4 weeks, and is now on 9th centile. Was advised to take DD to drs and the doctor cant find any medical reason why she losing/not putting on weight to the degree she should.

I now have to see dr once a week, HV at clinic once a week asnd have a home visit once a week and now have to give her a top up of formula.

I feel like I've been bullied into it and its making me feel very low and a failure. I feel DD is doing well, she feeds on demand,feeds for 30-45mins at a time, comes of breast when she wants, sleeps all night, has plenty wet nappies, and is a happy alert baby. I feel if she was hungry shouldnt be like this.

I want whats best for her but I'm finding it hard to accept the top up

DeliaRose Wed 10-Oct-12 07:19:53

Oh, and you haven't failed at breastfeeding as you say in the title, you've done 20 weeks of exclusive breast feeding! Not a failure! grin

Asmywhimsytakesme Wed 10-Oct-12 15:30:31

I just wanted to say op that if your daughter stops losing and weight and the hcps agree you are ok to be going back to ebf , the research apparently shows that after 2 weeks of ebf a baby your dd's age who had had formula, the intestine has the protective coating of an ebf baby again.

horseynewmum Wed 10-Oct-12 18:15:37

Hi all. HV been out today and is fuming I've not been supported in my EBF. She agrees the weight loss isnt great but she can see my DD is healthy and alert baby with no obvious reasons for weight loss. She measured her, finally someone has after I keep asking and was informed she is long for her length. I have been given a week to top-up using the breast and basically been told to just keep offering breast until she doesn't want it and hopefully with that it will encourage my milk to be more efficient. She has also discussed my diet with me and she will come back out to see me next week after been to doctors to see how things are and take it from there.

Thank you for all your support I now feel more postivie and I'm doing the right thing for her x

Asmywhimsytakesme Wed 10-Oct-12 18:17:53

Great news - so lots of skin to skin, cuddling, offering all the time, swapping like mad and try the compressions.

Hopefully next time you get her weighed she will come up just right smile

confuddledDOTcom Wed 10-Oct-12 23:50:57

DeliaRose, have you ever left your milk to stand for awhile? It will separate out and you will see the thinner milk is exactly the same as "foremlk".

Glad to hear thing have gone better today, horseynewmum, is she saying your diet plays a part or just to look after yourself?

CreamOfTomatoSoup Thu 11-Oct-12 08:01:20

After 20 wks of EBF I wouldn't say introducing formula now is 'failing'.
Formula is not poison. If your baby is not gaining enough weight then something isn't right. Soon your DD will be on solids and will be eating all sorts anyway and none of this will matter, you will just be stressing over people slipping her chocolate biscuits! People BF primarily for the health benefits, if your child is not gaining enough weight in the long term then that is a health problem. BF is not an end in itself.

Give it a few weeks to check this isn't just a blip but don't beat yourself up about it.

Here are some statistics from the Unicef website: 'Overall, only 35 per cent of UK babies are being exclusively breastfed at one week, 21 per cent at six weeks, 7 per cent at four months and 3 per cent at five months.'

Being on mumsnet can sometimes make you feel like BF is the only liquid which should pass your child's lips for the first 2 years, in reality most people don't make it to 6 months.

DeliaRose Thu 11-Oct-12 08:58:58

"in reality most people don't make it to 6 months."

Which is a shame

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 11-Oct-12 14:36:45

How is it going today OP? Hopefully the ebf is going well, dd thriving and you are ok too?

horseynewmum Sat 13-Oct-12 10:53:44

Hi all

Going well even tho I do feel like a cow but I know it will be worth it. I have to be careful with top up as it appears DD will eat and eat till she sick (just like her dad). Tuesday will be judgement day to what happens next

HV advising me on diet to help with my milk production and to make sure I'm getting all my calouries

I have nothing against formula, its just I wanted to EBF till 6months

Thanks for support I'll let you know how it goes tues

confuddledDOTcom Sat 13-Oct-12 16:09:43

Your diet won't be affecting her weight as you will feed her before yourself, looking after yourself is the most important thing. There are things you can take to help up your supply - domperidone and fenugreek for example, and oats are good, so porridge or oat based biscuits (there's some good recipes around) - but generally it's not about mum's diet. There's no evidence in what you've said that this is about milk production though.

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