Partner support the most importantt factor in influencing mothers' decision to breast feed

[popsycalindisguise]

here

Interesting that "Breastfeeding orientation provided by doctors, nurses, and nutritionists was not associated with the maternal decision to breastfeed."

discuss

[hunkermunker]

Interesting.

Support from partner and family (to a lesser extent) is definitely key - if the person you live with is constantly saying "what are you bothering with that for, here's a bottle" (seen that done ), it's very hard to bfeed.

Interesting about HPs not influencing the decision to bfeed - I would imagine it's not the primary reason anyone bfeeds though.

[popsycalindisguise]

another one
sorry am getting a bit carrid away today

[satine]

Well, I guess if your partner was very against it then your decision might be influenced but my dh isn't all that keen on bfing (he hates it when women bf in public and felt that I should go into another room on my own to do it when family were visiting or if we were at their houses and once said "If a woman asks me if I mind if she bf I'll say not if you don't mind me staring at your tits" I know, it's sparked some momentous rows between us and I'm really quite ashamed of his attitude) but I still bf both my babies as I know a) his attitude is from the stone age and b) it's absolutely the best thing for my babies!!

[RedZuleika]

Do many women tend to ask his permission before they feed their child???

Also - if he's looking at some other woman's breasts when she's feeding, he's presumably ok with some strange bloke ogling yours while you're feeding his child...??

[nanneh]

Red - dead right ! I never bothered to ask my DH whether it was ok to BF or not. He was absoluetly ok with it in the first year and encouraged it for its health benefits, but not sure if he is that keen on it at 19 months.

But, like you say I never bothered to ask. May be selfish to him, but the needs of my son have to come first.

[waggledancer]

Have seen this research before, and used it whilst studying social influences on choice to breastfeed. Am midwife and wanted to see how far professionals can be "blamed" for poor breastfeeding rates. Imo partners, family and friends most strongly influence the decision to begin breastfeeding and then problems are compounded by professionals inconsistency and lack of support. There is no one simple answer, else everyone could feed without problems.

[popsycalindisguise]

I have never asked anyone....

[popsycalindisguise]

waggledancer - that is really interesting.
I suppose any intervention then MUST be two pronged but by the sounds of it, educating partners as well as mothers really is a big deal

[waggledancer]

Redzuleika, don't think it's a case of asking permission for many women but to do something you know is strongly opposed by partner/family is hard especially if there are problems

[waggledancer]

Need to catch them young, especially boys, so that breastfeeding is thought of as the norm like in many scandinavian countries. Fixing breastfeeding attitudes after you have had a baby is much harder. Britain is not accepting of breastfeeding, especially not in public, especially in the north

[popsycalindisguise]

Waggledancer - that is a very good point. I am a teacher (up to aged 13) and there is NOTHING in any lesson in our school that even mentions breastfeeding

[waggledancer]

Saw breastfeeding on the Tweenies last week, can't think of any other examples of bf in the media other than in the negative. Af is seen everywhere, on soaps etc, so becomes normalised. My elder children are teenagers and have had lessons about sex and chilbirth but never optimal infant nutrition

[RedZuleika]

waggledancer: I was assuming that when Satine's husband referred to women asking if he minded their breastfeeding, he meant a stranger in a restaurant, cafe etc - rather than his partner.

I've posted before about this, but my parents have been pretty unsupportive of breastfeeding. The first time they came to visit, my father took pains to tell me where I wasn't supposed to feed in my own house. When we visited them at New Year, they would start meals without me when I was feeding DD, even though it only takes 10-15 minutes (hidden away in the bedroom, in purdah...)

[popsycalindisguise]

topsy amd tims mummy breastfeed their new baby...

[Dinosaur]

When I met up with some other mumsnetters when DS3 was tiny, and I had DS2 in tow, he was incredulous when he saw another mum getting out a bottle of boiled water and adding formula to it - "That's not how you feed a baby!"...

[waggledancer]

Have to go feed ds, but wil watch these threads with interest as have a feeling this topic could become my dissertation.

[popsycalindisguise]

ds1 did something similar when a friend came over with her tiny baby
'is he not having a milky bayboo like ds2 mumm?'

[popsycalindisguise]

Smellen - am really interested that most of your friends have breast fed.
The majority of people I know in real life (bar one second time round) have not been breast feeding at 6 weeks.

I am sure there is a north/south thing

[popsycalindisguise]

"Circle of friends mostly in their late twenties/early thirties, university educated, and with (on the whole) supportive partners.

• For example, first time I had mastitis, I rang the community midwife - she visited later that day, phoned
  
  I have a very similar circle of friends and my HV brought dakatarin cream to me on the same day when I had thrush.....
  
  I don't know....hmm

[mcmudda]

In Scotland, I think it's almost entirely down to the partner and family whether the baby will be breastfed. The expectation here is almost exclusively to formula feed.

The more affluent suburbs certainly have a leaning towards b/f, but again most mums will switch to bottle after 4-6 mths I think.

On the hospital b/f myths thread I mentioned my post-natal room of 4 mums. All began breastfeeding after birth, but the other 3 gave up when their families arrived for visiting. all families made comments about it being embarrassing and a bit of a hassle and not giving the baby enough. Honestly I wonder if we live in the dark ages up here healthwise

[popsycalindisguise]

but what can we do
sorry i am turning all evangelical about it

[1970Jane]

I don't know whether it is a north/south thing as my SIL lives in Cornwall (about as far south as you can go!) and certainly didn't bf - nor did my MIL nor did DH's cousins. I often feel they object to me bfing - particularly MIL who would like to feed DS! We live in Oxfordshire and most of my friends and my sister have bf, but maybe that's just the circle of people I know!

[mszebra]

this is just so obvious... when a woman is exhausted at 3am with a 5 day-old and trying to figure out WHY is the baby so unsettled, Why does it hurt a bit, Why can't she seem to settle the baby, it's not an NCT counsellor, it's not her HV for her to talk to -- the main support person in her life is her partner. If he isn't saying quite emphatically "You're doing great" and "you can do this" at every opportunity, it's pretty tempting to just throw the towel in.