Breastfeeding myths overheard in hospital

[hunkermunker]

Woman in the bed next to me was bottlefeeding because she "couldn't be arsed to breastfeed, and they're more settled on a bottle, innit". Er, yours wasn't, love - he cried, you snored through it. And as for the method of getting your newborn baby to take a bottle that your partner had discovered... Heard her telling her mum and dad as if it was hilarious that her DP had said "Finish the fucking bottle, then" and he'd drunk it

Woman in bed opposite me was told to "put the baby to the breast and leave him there as long as it took. It might be two hours. Just let him suck". Well, OK, but might've been nice to actually show her what to do, as she had no idea. Baby had a bottle in his mouth the next morning

Woman who was in the bed after woman opposite left said, "My milk isn't in yet, so I've been giving him bottles until it is". Instead of being told, "Just let him feed, you have colostrum, which is all he needs, your milk will be in soon, I'll help you if you need it" she was asked which formula she wanted

And today I've been told to only offer one breast at each feed and since I had DS2, they've asked me how often he's feeding - am I trying to get him to go three-hourly? Er, no, he's had low blood sugar. Nobody has mentioned feeding on demand to establish supply.

Am and and

[Miaou]

how crap!

[hotmama]

I really thought bf advice had got better. dd2 is due in 6 days and I had real problems bf dd1 - but I have got gemmed up this time around so hopefully will be better this time.

It's sooo important to get the right advice at the beginning - if hosps give shi*e advice then what hope is there?

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

thats total sh*te.

When i was in hospital the message that i got was that they will look after bottle fed babies because they can feed them whilst taking care of (they can shut them up in other words). If you are breastfeeding you are on your own. DS screamed every 25 mins for the first 48 hours of his life and i was in bits by the end of day two (and im sure this played a small but important part in my pnd), to be told the above by a lazy arsed night shift mw (having been told earlier in the day by another that they will happily take ds if i need a rest).

Also, one MW told the mum of the 16 yr old girl opposite me that (despite her having been in hospital for 3 days to establish b/feeding) that its "I dont know why all this effort - its unlikely she will succeed - most youngsters dont".

Her mum was L I V I D! to say the least. Was going to complain. Snotty mw had to apologise.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

ok - so my story wasnt a myth but it was hardly encouraging. The bottle feeders got "waiter service" sterilising equipment, formula and bottles. Several came and went. I was left to my own devices the whole time. There was no encouragement AT ALL.

[hunkermunker]

I've already been into this hospital to talk to the head of midwifery about their lack of bfeeding support after DS1 was born in 2004. Looks like I will be going back.

They were defensive to begin with in '04 (said they had plenty of posters up - fgs!), then admitted they hadn't given me any support. It's solely because I'm ridiculously stubborn that DS1 was bfed - God that was hard work. It's pretty damn hard now and I know what I'm doing (DS2 is getting the hang of it ).

But they're actually undermining breastfeeding with this kind of "support" which makes me livid!

[hunkermunker]

Oh, VVV, feel free to expand it from myths - I'm sure I will!

and re your experience - this is just bloody wrong!

[Kelly1978]

It is awful. I felt really sorry for the woman in the bed next to me when I was in with the dts. She wanted to bf, but had problems getting a latch. She ended up givign bottles until the next morning when she said someone was coming around again to help her. Still no luck and she gave up. I don't know why the midwives couldn't help sooner. I really wanted to go and try to help her but didn't know how it would be taken, and I'm no expert.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Good for you for making the fuss!

I dont think that people should get any better or worse treatment in hospital, however they choose to feed.

MW's shouldnt just take the easy option. Its easier to hand someone some bottles and formula and walk off rather than take the time to coach and encourage a b/feeding mum.

[hotmama]

It's going to be interesting having dd2 (hopefully in the near future)

In 2004, when I had dd1 - the hosp was very supportive e.g. dd1 was a very sleepy baby, I had a horrendous birth and flat nipples etc. The hosp provided an electric breastpump so I could express and feed dd1 and helped whenever I buzzed etc. It is going to be interesting to see if/how the support has changed.

[hunkermunker]

Thing is, getting a newborn latched on can be ridiculously hard, even if you know what you're doing. DS2 cries furiously if I swaddle him when he's hungry and won't latch - he likes to be able to wave his arms round (helpfully...!). Then there's the little electric shock rooting reflex that makes him dart his head around, closing his mouth just before he latches (er, ow!) and then he suddenly decides that my boob isn't in front of his face, it's over his other shoulder, and he roots frantically in the wrong direction.

Now, I know it gets better (and it already is). But a first-timer, confronted with this kind of thing, could well be put off!

[hotmama]

My problem was when I got home and the advice from the HVs was shockingly shite - but I didn't know at the time - I do now!

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Actually, what the lazy arsed mw did say to me was "well i can take him, but if he cries in 5 minutes time i'd have to bring him back because you are b/feeding" i said "but ive just fed him for half an hour" lazy arse mw "doesnt matter, we'd still bring him back. Unless you want us to give him formula........?"

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Am wincing at that HM! its not so far off - i still remember that pain!

What helps me remember is DS's new teeth that he joyfully clamps down on me quite regularly at the moment. Ouch!

[Laura032004]

Mine was that ds was crying because of wind as he had been sucking for too long. Spent hoooouuuurrrsss trying to wind him. Gave up and tried to feed him again - hmm, hungry all along! He continued to be a baby that fed for hours at a time - and never once had to be winded.

VVVQV - I can completely sympathise with you. It was exactly the same for me. I got the first night off - ds was born by ec/s at 7.10pm following a several day labour, they kept him in the nursery, but brought him to me to feed several times. After that I was on my own - the only mum on the ward of 6 that had a baby. I spent hours worrying about disturbing their sleep as ds fed for 20-40 minutes of every hour at night, and it took me about 10 minutes to hobble out of bed to get to him! They wouldn't even watch him for me whilst I went to get some breakfast (even though he was sleeping), because he might wake up, and if he did they couldn't do anything (coming to get me would have been so much more trouble than feeding and winding him!). I just don't think they liked the lack of control (special care ward) - they couldn't see from the feeding chart exactly how many oz's he had had

[motherinferior]

That's appalling.

[tiktok]

It's really good that you are taking note of all this, hunker, and you will no doubt take the chance to report it.

The 'one side only' myth is disgraceful. It's a complete misunderstandfing. Years ago, mothers were told 'you must always make sure the baby has both sides' and then it was realised (about 30 years ago, I am not kidding) that rigid insistance on this is not physiological....babies need to be able to 'drive' the feed themselves. So they threw that myth out, only for some to replace it with an equally rigid one 'you must only feed one side' which is equally daft. Babies may want 1, 2, 3 or 4 'side' per feed, but if you don't offer the second side you'll never know.

The baby can't send you a text to ask!

[hunkermunker]

Oh, yes, had Infacol recommended to me today too. Er, baby's not got wind problems (yet!) - and don't want to put parabens down his throat thanks

[tortoiseshell]

I was told that a newborn needs feeding every 8 hours or so, or even every 10 hours, but not to let ds go over 12 hours without a feed!

[beansprout]

The short version of what I was told, repeatedly is, "F**k me, he's enormous, you'll be constantly feeding and he will still be hungry. You'll never manage. Now, which type of formula do you want me to give him?".

[hotmama]

My sh*te hv said as long as I was feeding a newborn 5-6 times a day - that was fine. Uhm that's why she lost weight then and my milk supply reduced - [shaking head in anger and disgust] luckily La Leche bf support and seminars has hopefully sorted me for bf dd2.

[harpsichordcarrier]

oh go on then I'll post it again
"your nipples are too small and they point in the wrong direction so she probably won't be able to latch but we might as well give it a try."

and more recently
"no you won't be able to tandem feed. you won't have enough milk for both."

[JuA]

This doesn't fill me with alot of confidence - I breastfed dd after a very rocky start - fortunatley I dissolved into tears over a midwife who knew what she was doing - and I then got lots of help. However I am expecting it to be a struggle again especially as I am expecting twins - who will be here in 1 week!! I was hoping that things might have improved!

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

LOL! HC - i was told mine were too big

[jessicaandrebeccasmummy]

my experience with Jess... told to put her to boob and MW walked out and came back 2 hours later.... i failed miserably, but kept going - gave up at home after 5 days because i couldnt get it right (no milk ever came in) and no one was showing me how.

Experience with Rebecca.... she refused to latch. Couldnt get her to feed at all. me and 2 MW's tried everything to get her latched on, to which i got the "i can get her a bottle if you want" I refused and tried to keep it going, but they had given up on me, so i gave up after 36 hours.

Its easily done.... and i think EVERY woman should have 121 care to get BF established if that is what she would prefer to do.

[beansprout]

Do they have another one of their legendary charts to work out the perfect size for nips then?!