I feel like I want to cut down ds's breastfeeding but am clueless how to go about it...

[dinny]

Can anyone tell me how to do it? He's 16 months and feeds on demand throughout the day and LOADS at night. Snacks mainly in day but feeds 'properly' at night. He is addicted and even bf's when am changing his nappy etc.

How the hell do I start cutting down a bit? Don't want him to be upset....

Really really could do with a night's sleep too!

[hunkermunker]

Can you try "don't offer, don't refuse" accompanied by PLENTY of distraction? Some new toys might work.

Or....you could try how I self-weaned DS...

[dinny]

I never offer him though as it is...

Is he too old for a bottle?

[Hattie05]

Hi, theres a tough way, or there is a slow and gentle way.
The tough way is to go cold turkey and refuse all feeds.
The slow gentle way is what i did, as much as possible i avoided situations which i knew would make dd route for a feed e.g. cuddles, sitting close together etc. use lots and lots of distraction to take away the memory of breastfeeding.
TALK - tell your son he's grown up now and doesn't need all the milk.
I in fact used to laugh at my dd if she went up my top, i'd laugh and say you're not a baby anymore you're a big girl. She'd laugh too and then that would be enough to distract her onto something else.
This i did for a good few months before finally my milk had dried up and so dd stopped even trying anymore, she was two then.

[dinny]

dh thinks I should go on holiday for a week! tempting but just couldn't do it!

I always think he's so much younger than he is, Hattie - really good idea to explain to him, he does understand a lot. thanks, wish me luck..

[hunkermunker]

Does he drink cows milk at all? DS drinks milk from a cup sometimes (spouted beaker or open cup, but spills loads with open cup!) or one of those soft-spout things you can get for bottles (Avent make them, they're blue) - he has milk about twice a week though - prefers "cheeeeeeeese!", porridge and yoghurt.

You could go away for the weekend and leave him with DH...

How's lumpy boob, btw?

[Hattie05]

Dinny, if you don't want to go cold turkey, and a holiday isn't an option , then just do it really really gradually, don't go setting a date by which you want to have given up as that will only set you up for disappointment. It will stop eventually with a little gentle persuasion by you. My dd was the same as your son, eventually all daytime feeds had stopped, and it was just middle of the night ones, which as i said, they weaned down due to my supply ending.

[dinny]

he does drink cows milk but hardly anything much (too full of mine, lol!)

very tempting to go away - EXCEPT given lumpy boob! which is sore and angry-looking. but still soft-ish.

[ParrupupumScum]

Hi Dinny. I think structuring the day feeds into 2 or 3 feeds at settish times (eg: when he wakes, lunch time and before bed) in conjunction with cutting down the night feeds one at a time might work. The first time he wakes at night try shhing him for a set amount of time before feeding- however long you can take it. Increase the shhing period by 5 or 10 minutes a night and never go back to breast feeding at that time again. Do you think you could take letting him cry for a few minutes in those circumstances? A quicker way would be to just stop the night feeds cold turkey but I think he'd be temporarily v distressed and you'd need to feel strong enough to cope with that.

[dinny]

yes, you have hit on what we need, Parrupupumscum, bit of a routine. don't think can take him getting really distressed (am a total drip with him, mainly because he's had some health problems).

but tonight I am going to try and soothe him before bfing (though have got a blocked duct so probably best t let him feed.....) will start when boob back to normal! thanks for posting.

[Laura032004]

What do you really want? To cut down bf altogether, or to stop the night feeds? I'd imagine once you cut down the night feeds, the daytime ones will increase, so it will naturally even out. I started to have set feeding times at around 12 months, so DS stopped snacking and started having proper long feeds at certain times. This led to a reduction in him wanting to snack as he was full already IYKWIM.

It's hard though. I know how tiring night feeding is - DS was up to hourly at it's worst (having slept through until 6m ) and it's a killer.

[dinny]

mainly I want to stop the night feeds. ds usually feeds at bedtime (7pm ish), 9pm, 11pm-midnight, 2am (at which point I usually am too tired and bring him in with us), then he feeds probably about 4am ish, then gets up for the day (and has a big feed! at about 5.3/5.45.

am desperately tired, really - can't imagine how it is to feel properly rested. seriously haven't had more than 3 hours unbroken sleep since ds was born and am starting to need to change things pronto!

[NotQuiteCockney]

You have my sympathy. I'd cut out the night feeds one by one, to let him move his consumption to another time in the day, and then maybe reduce daytime feeds, if you want to.

My DS2 is 15 months, and would feed continually if he could. At around a year, he realised I always have my boobs with me, and started demanding milk a lot. After some wavering, I've decided to only feed him in my room or his room. (Ok, when we're staying elsewhere, the rules change, but it's still always a bedroom.)

He's learned that this is the deal, and will direct me to my room, when he wants a feed, which is annoying, but a lot less annoying than having my top yanked up!

I don't mind the current plan, which is about 4 feeds a day (morning, pre-nap, post-nap, bedtime). I have no idea how I'll cut down further, he loves boob so much, which reduces my motivation significantly.

[dinny]

oh, sounds familiar, NQC. I am all of a suddenly keen to cut down as have just had a blocked duct (unbelieviably at this stage?!) and it made me realise just HOW much milk I am producing overnight. I am so soft on ds and let him feed whenever he wants. Which is all the time really.

[NotQuiteCockney]

Yeah, I got mastitis-ish at 11 months or so. Quite surprising.