Breastfeeding in public - annoyed!

[nursie]

I know there is a long thread on breastfeeding in public but I thought I would start a new one as I saw something today that really annoyed me!
I am going shopping tomorrow with a friend and ds, who is 3 months old. We will likely be out for most of the day so I went onto the website for the shopping centre I am going to to find out where the Baby Changing facilites are. There are several, which is good, but I was shocked to read a note that said ' There are Breast Feeding facilites in the public toilets.' Oh great, so if I want to feed my baby I'm expected to go and sit in the toilets on my own for half an hour???
I'm fully intending on feeding ds when my friend and I have our lunch, and although I recognise that some women may not want to feed in public, the note did rather give me the impression that feeding in public is not ' the done thing'.
Can somebody reassure me that attitudes to feeding in public are gradually changing?

[Boe]

I did it everywhere and anywhere most people would rather see you feeding the baby than have the baby ruining their meal by laying there screaming anyway.

Just take a shawl with you or something and then if someone if offended sling it over your shoulder and they will not be able to see you. At the end of the day you put your baby first and if anyone complains ask them if they would like to eat their dinner in the loo because effectively this is what they are suggesting for your child.

[Boe]

Only had one comment and that was from a little boy who pointed out my huge boobies - so never really had anything negative.

[mears]

I never had any problems at all feeding in restaurants etc. It can be done so discretely. Some women ofcourse do not want to feed in public and in is now politically correct to provide areas for breastfeeding. That does not mean that you have only to feed in there - it just means that there is a choice. It is actually good that the shopping precinct is providing this faclility - hopefully it is not in the toilets!

[zebra]

Tell you what, though. A lot of women wouldn't dream of feeding in public, and would truly want to know if at a shopping centre there was somewhere completely hidden where they could feed in private.

Z - who believes reluctance to feed in public is the main reason br'feeding rates are so low.

[JanZ]

I rarely (never?) used "breast feeding facilities" - just feed ds discretely where and when he needed it. Most of the time people didn't even notice and I never had any adverse comments. (.... and this was in Glasgow, hardly a haven for breast feeding!).

I have to admit though that even though I usually had trouble getting ds to latch on, when I was "outside", I didn't take that much care in getting a good latch, as that would have stymied my efforts at being discreet!

[Harrysmum]

I feed anywhere and everywhere and the only negative comment I've ever had was from dh of all people! According to one friend though having breasts which sag in the region of my tummy button does facilitate more discreet feeding!

[aloha]

I fed everywhere too, but really loved the feeding rooms in John Lewis/Peter Jones. Those lovely special chairs I could never afford, water available and usually someone else there to chat to. Very relaxing, particularly with a very young baby who finds it difficult to latch on.

[wobblymum]

I had a good experience the other day. I was in a cafe with DH and dd and she needed feeding. We'd just finished our drinks and cakes and because the cafe was so busy I went over and paid and just mentioned that I wanted to breastfeed. The woman running the cafe didn't have a problem with it so I went ahead. Then 5 mins later I saw her coming over to us and I thought she was going to say there's a problem. But instead she'd brought me another cup of tea free! Then she spent 10 mins chatting about the baby and about how you don't hear of many people breastfeeding any more!!

I just thought that was really sweet!! So there are some people out there who don't treat feeding in public like peeing in public!!

[codswallop]

ks - you asked?!!

i fed whilst looking at ds3s photos at the studio yesterday!!/(he looked lovely of course!)

[Pimpernel]

Nursie - I've not come across a bad attitude to feeding in public in the 8 months I've been doing it.

I always appreciate breastfeeding facilities being available (our Mothercare ones are the most comfortable place I've ever fed), but I don't feel under any obligation to use them - if I'm with friends I'd much rather feed over lunch. I've never asked 'permission' to feed, and most of the time no-one has even noticed.

The first time dp and I took dd out to a local pizza place, the proprietor made a huge fuss of her. I could have done without the fact that I was feeding her being pointed out to virtually the whole restaurant, but it was all very friendly!

[motherinferior]

The only person who ever questioned me feeding in public was one of DP's brothers who asked squeamishly 'didn't we have a bottle'...quite honestly, I'm so brazen about public breasfeeding that I probably wouldn't have noticed anything less than a direct comment!

[Wills]

Aloha - yet another reason for me to live in John Lewis?

Agreed with all others that with dd I had no problems where I breast fed, this time round I'm more concerned that my 3yo will do a runner and I have visions of myself chasing after her with the baby tucked under one arm and my breast dangling free with the wind .

[Zerub]

I didn't get the hang of discreet breastfeeding for 4 or 5 weeks - I needed to have everything hanging out to get dd latched on, and then I needed to look at her to make sure she was actually feeding. So for a while it was really nice that some shops provided rooms to feed in. Although Mothercare's was in the nappy changing room, which wasn't so pleasant...

My first attempt at public breastfeeding (ok, maybe that should read breastfeeding in public!) was in a cathedral, in the front row at my friend's ordination, and several dog-collared people came up and said friendly, helpful things. But I could only do one side discreetly at that stage so I had to go outside a bit later on!

And yes Wills, next time I think I might have to chain dd1 to a chair in a cafe or something before breastfeeding!

[SoupDragon]

What makes you think you'll get the chance to be out in public with both of your children...?

FWIW, 1st time round I much preferred feeding in private and gladly squirrelled myself away in feeding rooms (or the changing rooms in Monsoon!). 2nd time round I was more confident in myself and fed in restaurants, parks, Florida beaches etc...

[jasper]

nursie I would not take this to mean it's the ONLY place you can bf, just that it is a facility available for those who do feel shy about bf in public. I was very much like this with number one because I was so rubbish at breastfeeding.
With number three I have fed all over the place and have had nothing but lovely comments.
I do really appreciate the screened off bf facility in IKEA because it means I can escape from dh and other two children for a few minutes, and they even serve wine in the adjacent restaurant
Have a nice trip tomorrow.

[sprout]

Breastfeeding facilities? What are they??! I'm still trying to find more than three places that have baby changing areas in this city (Brussels). Even the "baby shops" like Mothercare don't usually. Sigh...

[Philippat]

I've noticed both Worcester and Stoke on Trent now have 'breastfeeding welcome' schemes with large signs, which seems like a good plan to me - any where else?

[miriamw]

I must admit that I do appreciate the various rooms etc available in our shopping centres locally, but mainly because they're one of the few places with comfy seats. I have no problem in feeding in a cafe or restaurant, just that this would take longer (ie by the time I had bought something to eat/drink etc). I'm not sure what the alternative would be - haven't yet mastered b/feeding whilst pushing a buggy, and personally prefer to sit down. There are a few benches around the place, but these always seem to be filled with grumpy old men....

Mind you I have never even thought to ask whether I can b/feed in a cafe etc. Just gone and done so without any commnets or complaints...yet.

[prufrock]

Blloming marvelous have an amazing invention - a bf cushion that you can strap around your waist, and so walk and feed at the same time. It's in the new catalogue, but not on their website yet.

[dadslib]

Message withdrawn

[prufrock]

Whay should I not ram it down other people's throats? (Obviosuly not the breast itself). I have always been fairly discreet about bf in public and not bared too much - but only because I didn't want men ogling my enourmous tits. You don't have to hide your mouth when you are eating, or cover your plate with a scarf, so why should my baby?

(And welcome BTW - it is great to have mens views on Mumsnet - even when I don't agree with you)

[Pimpernel]

Dadslib -
'If there are good discreet facilities for the purpose why not use them?'

Mostly because I'd rather chat with my friends over lunch than sit in a dedicated facility on my own. I don't make a song and dance about breastfeeding in public, but I really don't feel that I should hide myself away when breastfeeding in the name of discretion.

[aloha]

What an odd expression! Actually I really disagree about being discreet. I think it could actually help for there to be a little less discretion and a bit more offending. People HAVE to get used to public breastfeeding if we are ever going to improve our lamentable rates of breastfeeding. This is an urgent matter of public health, not just women's whims. It would cut the NHS bill - there are even links between breastfeeding and reduced rates of multiple sclerosis, not to mention breast cancer. Is there anything more important that this? Until public breastfeeding is seen as normal and nobody bangs on about 'ooh, it's a bit offensive to some people' then IMO rates won't rise. There is nothing offensive about breastfeeding. Most women are desperately shy enough as it is without being told to cover up further.