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What do you call your daughter's private parts? pom pom, fanny, frou frou?

(91 Posts)
e11ie5 Thu 29-Nov-12 13:27:59

serious question ... I've been pondering it for a while only to find that the Telegraph has a piece on the very matter as well ... so far people have suggested pom pom, frou frou, bits, Mary ... and fronthind ... any thoughts!! I've written about the matter here
http://crazypregnantperson.wordpress.com/2012/11/29/by-any-other-name/

cathpip Thu 29-Nov-12 13:30:52

Foo Foo in our house, at my sisters its a Minnie. smile

MrsWolowitz Thu 29-Nov-12 13:31:52

Front bum.

Unless we are referring to her actual vagina rather than her labia then we say vagina. (She's had thrush so vaginas have been a hot topic with her recently)!

pictish Thu 29-Nov-12 13:31:54

minnie here

AnAirOfHopeForSnow Thu 29-Nov-12 13:33:07

My 3 year old son calls it "No penis" i correct him to use the medical term.

LarkinSky Thu 29-Nov-12 13:50:43

We call it her ''gina", short for vagina. Yes, I know it's not necessarily anatomically correct but I don't think my 3 yr old roll be disadvantaged!

VoterColonelSebastianDoyle Thu 29-Nov-12 14:34:14

Loo loo grin

SillyBeardyDudeyman Thu 29-Nov-12 14:36:01

girl bits.
Unless we need to discuss specific parts and then we get medical.

e11ie5 Thu 29-Nov-12 14:36:05

ohhh I like 'gina short for Vagina ...interesting minnie seems a common name as well wonder where that came from?

Influenced by previous discussions on here, vulva. Which was fine until they learned to read the word Volvo and started to understand the concept of jokes.

allinagoodcause Thu 29-Nov-12 14:51:49

vagina you weirdos - whats wrong with calling it by it's proper name ???

HullyEastergully Thu 29-Nov-12 14:52:20

Auntie Betsy

LaCiccolina Thu 29-Nov-12 14:52:32

Bits

qo Thu 29-Nov-12 14:54:15

Lady garden, or fantoosh.

Allinagoodcause, the vagina is the internal part, the external (which I think OP is talking about) would be vulva

GreenShadow Thu 29-Nov-12 14:56:14

Just called 'bottom' - never distinguished between 'front' and 'back'

MrsMushroom Thu 29-Nov-12 14:56:24

Ginny, la la, vagina, bits, foof, foo foo, "dot", mooli, LOADS of words here. We tend to make them up randomly.

I like "Fantoosh" as it sounds fancy and yet powerful! grin

Spero Thu 29-Nov-12 14:56:54

Vagina. I know it should be vulva, but i think that battle is lost.

I think it is really sad that we appear to be so alarmed/ashamed of our girl parts' that we can't even name them. And I have seen lots of investigations into sexual abuse flounder at initial stages because one person's 'frou frou' was another person's 'noo noo'.

RillaBlythe Thu 29-Nov-12 15:00:38

Vagina (yes vulva blah blah).

allinagoodcause Thu 29-Nov-12 15:01:35

True but vagina will do won't it?

qo Thu 29-Nov-12 15:05:31

It doesn't bother me what other people call their daughters bits, if vagina is your choice.
It's just that saying oh whats wrong with the correct name, when it isn't actually the correct name IYSWIM? grin

Spero Thu 29-Nov-12 15:08:26

It just worries me that all the cutesie names are part of our warped attitude to female sexuality. We don't call our daughter's arms or legs by weird fluffy nicknames.

MrsWolowitz Thu 29-Nov-12 18:45:06

What qo said.

MrsMushroom Thu 29-Nov-12 19:45:59

spero Yes...but we don't want to get too serious about our Fannys do we? I mean men have funny names for their penis's don't they?

John Thomas, Winky, Willy, Wee Wee, Python etc.

stargirl1701 Thu 29-Nov-12 19:49:48

Vulva.

As a teacher I think it's so important children know the correct names for their own body parts. I had a mum when teaching P1 who was shocked that, as part of the H&W curriculum, we taught the correct names for body parts. She encouraged her child to call her vulva a flower. I suggested that if her child told me someone had touched her flower it wouldn't ring alarm bells for me. That choice of name was, IMHO, inappropriate.

Spero Thu 29-Nov-12 19:53:51

Why does the counterpart for serious have to be excruciatingly twee? Most little boys get away with 'willy', not wibbly Wobblies or similar.

Sargesaweyes Thu 29-Nov-12 19:57:55

Ha ha. I might start calling ds tinky a wibbly wobbly Spero.

unexpectediteminbaggingarea Thu 29-Nov-12 19:58:08

vagina. 'gina' according to DD age 2. I can't say vulva without thinking of ross from friends trying to talk dirty. If she points out a specific bit then I'll name it for her.

Labia, for the washing part. Vulva for the "stop putting your dinner there" part.

She found her vagina recently to her great surprise, told her what it was called and that was that.

Meglet Thu 29-Nov-12 20:04:11

Vulva for 4yo DD. She uses it most of the time.

Or binky, which she is using less and less. I decided that if boys can use penis and willy then she needed a silly name too.

Vulva, vagina, clitoris. Only anatomically correct terms.

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 29-Nov-12 20:05:35

Vagina although she says peanuts

TheOnlyPersonInTheRoom Thu 29-Nov-12 20:09:04

Foo-fah but she's only 1 so I sort of feel it doesn't matter at the moment. And I think I've only actually said it about 3 times.

BeatTheClock Thu 29-Nov-12 20:11:19

When my dd was much smaller she wanted a proper name so we settled on vagina (yes I know that's not strictly correct but it's what we ended up with). She couldn't say it very well.

Anyway at grandma's one day she mentioned China (god knows whyconfused) there followed an extremely complicated crossed purposes conversation with my dad - her grandad - who though she was studying China at school for a project.

My poor dad, who's in his 70's and quite old school about ladies bits and bobs, was mortified when he realised the actual subject matter being discussed. My mum was laughing her head offgrin

NigellaLawless Thu 29-Nov-12 20:11:44

I completely agree with everything Spero says!!!

3b1g Thu 29-Nov-12 20:14:08

DD (3 brothers) decided to call it her bunny so we went along with that. My parents are horrified as they think she should call it her vulva, but as I pointed out to them, they wouldn't expect her to refer to her tummy as her abdomen.

3b1g Thu 29-Nov-12 20:18:34

Should add that she knows the correct word for her bunny is vulva, in the same way that her brothers know that the correct word for a willy is penis.

Spero Thu 29-Nov-12 20:18:51

Nigella, I thought my favourite phrase would be 'you've just won euromillions' but on reflection I prefer wot you say.

ElectricSoftParade Thu 29-Nov-12 20:22:17

Carried on using the term "Fairy" which my mother used.

DD used it for a bit and then it has changed to "Furry". We shower together and she has seen my pubic hair and named it. I quite like it.

MirandaWest Thu 29-Nov-12 20:22:23

We say bits. Although both DC know the anatomically correct words as well.

SantasLittleControlGeek Thu 29-Nov-12 20:28:33

I grew up knowing it to be my 'flower', but was always puzzled as to whether it was my 'flower' or my 'flour'. I ended up settling on believing it was my 'flour' as it was always copiously dusted with talcum powder after my bath... choos carefully, mums!

SantasLittleControlGeek Thu 29-Nov-12 20:28:40

^choose

Chubfuddler Thu 29-Nov-12 20:30:58

Front bottom

lostinindia Thu 29-Nov-12 20:39:08

We use crotch.

Beat the clock, that's brilliant! Was he saying its big and very far away?

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 29-Nov-12 20:48:11

DS has "penis" now, but "winkle" when he was little). DD (2) has a "vagina", because DS insists that's the right term. But she calls it her "ankle" grin

GreeenFingers Thu 29-Nov-12 20:52:28

We call it a " fairy/2, which I think is a sweet name. My daughter said that when she geows up she'll have a " fanny" like mine. Poor kid, I hope she doesn't.

weeonion Thu 29-Nov-12 20:57:53

vulva, vagina and clitoris.

She had a bad dose of chicken pox earlier this year and was covered in spots. I love to see peoples reactions when she tells them that her vulva and clitoris were covered. smile

BeatTheClock Thu 29-Nov-12 21:00:00

Lol I wasn't actually there. My dad was too blush to give me much information as to which point in the conversation he twigged he wasn't actually talking about China. It was my mum who told me. It got veeery confusing apparantly.

StillSquiffy Thu 29-Nov-12 21:02:31

Vulva.

I am mystified as to why the naming of this part of the anatomy causes angst when discussing it with children.

ginmakesitallok Thu 29-Nov-12 21:06:34

Front bum here - not vagina unless we were actually talking about her vagina (i.e. the inside bit) I have NEVER referred to my "bits" as my vulva - just seems wrong/wierd. Can't say it's ever caused me any harm...

MrsBeaver Thu 29-Nov-12 21:12:22

Woo-woo. Or front bottom.

quietlysuggests Thu 29-Nov-12 21:18:07

Vulva.
I hate hate hate "front bottom"
Bottoms are dirty, poo covered, yucky.
Boys have one bottom and a willy= cool
People tell girls they have two bottoms= yuck times two?
Not fair to make girls feel like they have dirty bits.

It is a vulva.
So we call it a vulva.

DD only 1 so not come up yet. My mum referred to it as a 'fairy' too but not sure what we will call it yet so am watching with interest.

DS 2.10 calls his penis his 'louis' & has done since he could speak... Something we were thankful of a while back when we were at a family funeral in church & he pipes up 'mummy my Louis has got bigger!' thankfully no-one knew what he was talking about! blush

MumsKnitter Thu 29-Nov-12 22:34:56

Gosh! So many vulvas, who knew! We call it a ginny. I did teach my girls clit too, but regretted when they were with Grandma and shocked the poor woman! I do, however, think that it's important that they have unambiguous names for their genitals for their own protection. They need to feel comfortable with their bodies and be able to talk about them.

scrumpkin Thu 29-Nov-12 22:43:38

Fanny

milkysmum Thu 29-Nov-12 22:48:12

I had been thinking about this a while back (my dd is 3.8) we settled on vagina as everything else sounded ridiculous! her nana nearly died on the spot when she heard dd saying the word vagina though! confused

IfYouSeeMeSayHello Thu 29-Nov-12 22:49:54

Vagina. Or more frequently, gina.

Cannot bear cute euphemisms like froufrou, flower etc. Ridiculous

Spero Thu 29-Nov-12 22:57:19

My exes' ridiculously squeamish mother thought it was some kind of child abuse to use anatomical terms. So she insisted on Noo Noo which apparently is the name of a vacuum cleaner in the teletubbies, which caused my daughter some distress and confusion in her formative years.

On a serious note, the use of 'front bottom' did really banjax an interview with a very young child who was thought to be alleging sexual abuse. The interviewer got confused as to what bottom was being referred to and in the end the investigation did not proceed as it was felt that a reference to a 'bottom' could have been innocent, help with toiletting etc. that may well have been the truth, but it wasn't fair to that little girl to disable her from telling her story in the clearest way possible.

e11ie5 Thu 29-Nov-12 23:03:39

: ) that's all ... I love this forum ... thanks so much girls ... I'm going to bed grinning about fantoosh and Auntie Betsie ...

somehow this all makes me think of Pauline Collins as Shirley Valentine talking about the cli-torrrris ... and re the vulva / volvo thing there is a restaurant near Cambridge called Vuva which makes me chortle every time I drive past it ...

keep on with the pet names ... I'm fascinated!

MrsMushroom Fri 30-Nov-12 09:23:19

spero I loathe "front bottom" but what idiot couldn't work out that it means vagina? Front bottom is not bottom.

3b1g Fri 30-Nov-12 09:34:06

I'm a bit flummoxed about the references to vagina for very young girls. Unless a child accidentally sticks something up there in the bath, why would she need to be referring to something that is inside her body? (Obviously it would be useful to know where her vagina is once she starts her periods, especially if she wants to use tampons). If we're saying that it's important for a child to know the correct names for her genitalia, then surely vagina should only be used to refer to the actual tract.

quietlysuggests Fri 30-Nov-12 10:01:39

3b1g
Its parents who wish they could use non-twee names but when it actually comes right down to it they themselves are trained to find vulva icky and they just cant use it.
So they wrongly use vagina.
To me, it is more irritating. Why oh why would you teach someone that everything else is not deserving to be named.
I can thelp shake the feeling that in the same way as the only sex thats "counts" is PIV sex. the only part worth naming is the part that men put themselves into.
Anyway....

squareheadcut Fri 30-Nov-12 10:08:32

my mother in law calls it a vaggy! PRON Vajjee

Dd has adopted the bottom so I go with that

AndiMac Fri 30-Nov-12 10:20:41

Vagina. It's not quite correct, but it's a word that would be acceptable and understood by anyone who needed to know, including a doctor.

Plus I read that giving it an anatomically correct name could help you pick up on possible sexual abuse (heaven forbid). If you taught them to call it vulva or vagina and they are suddenly calling it a cupcake, you should follow up and ask from where they got that name.

DumSpiroSpero Fri 30-Nov-12 10:24:52

Girly bits, although DD did briefly coin the expression 'underbum' which I quite liked! grin

DumSpiroSpero Fri 30-Nov-12 10:26:45

So she insisted on Noo Noo which apparently is the name of a vacuum cleaner in the teletubbies, which caused my daughter some distress and confusion in her formative years.

There's also a book about dummies called 'The Last Noo Noo'...confused!

CheerfulYank Fri 30-Nov-12 10:38:52

I'm going to begin calling mine an Aunt Betsy now, Hully. "No thank you DH, Auntie Betsy is not receiving visitors this evening." grin

I don't know what I'll call it if I ever have a girl. Vulva probably? No idea. I call DS's penis a penis. He was quite amused to tell me "Papa (my dad) calls a penis a 'pee-winker'!" They'd been taking a sauna together when DS was staying at my parents and apparently my dad told him to "wash your pee-winker."

Of course, that's the man who told me not to say 'uterus' when I was about 16, so he's a bit uncomfortable with real words for anything vaguely below the belt.

Spero Fri 30-Nov-12 11:39:32

Mrsmushroom - because sometimes she said 'front bottom', sometimes she said 'bum', sometimes 'bottom' and at one stage she said the man involved had 'three bottoms' and showed her. It did not help that the interviewer was all at sea and made it worse by inappropriate questions... but I can't help thinking if the little girl and known how to distinguish 'bottom' and 'vagina/vulva' things would have been a lot clearer a lot earlier on...

I suspect 'bottom' was just a catch all phrase for the entire pubic region, but you can see the confusion that can cause.

tethersend Fri 30-Nov-12 11:44:17

We're a house of fannies.

3b1g Fri 30-Nov-12 12:54:58

Poor DS1 had some mild balanitis a few weeks ago. I gave him some fucidin cream and some instructions on what to do with it. After a couple of days, I needed to know whether it was clearing up, but didn't want to embarrass him in front of his siblings, so when I went into his room to say goodnight, I asked him how things were going 'downstairs'. He had no idea what I was talking about, and this led to one of those conversations at cross-purposes until it dawned on him that I was trying to subtly ask about his penis.

WithTheDude Fri 30-Nov-12 13:31:50

Vulva, clitoris and vagina. I don't do twee.

quietlysuggests Fri 30-Nov-12 13:46:05

"Vagina. It's not quite correct, but it's a word that would be acceptable and understood by anyone who needed to know, including a doctor. "

No no no and no
Its not correct.
It is in fact incorrect!
And it drives doctors mad to look at a woman, quite capable of having sex and having babies and talking about anything in the world, sit before you and announce that she has an itchy vagina.
It drives us mad.

Its a vulva people, say it with me, as Dora would say, Its a vulva!

AndiMac Fri 30-Nov-12 13:50:39

Yes, because it would be much better if she walked in and said she has an itchy frou frou. hmm

vulva and vagina although it comes out more as foofa and Jina when DD says it which suits me fine. She knows the names just can't say them properly yet.

cartblanche Fri 30-Nov-12 14:02:35

Labia and sometimes "bits" if I'm feeling a bit coy (stupid I know). I've explained that she also has a vagina where a baby can come out (and then have to explain that neither she nor her brother came out that way!) Haven't yet explained its role in getting a baby in there in the first place (she's 5).

Spero Fri 30-Nov-12 14:51:45

It wasn't until about this time last year that I, a highly educated professional in her forties, realised the distinction between 'vagina' and 'vulva', thanks to Jezebel.com. I think I am part of this horrific legacy of tweetastic fluffy avoidance nomenclature.

Ps we 'did' only frogs and flowers in school biology.

BeatTheClock Fri 30-Nov-12 15:04:57

Blimey quietly are you a doctor? I'd be scared to go and see you, you sound like you might hand out lines.

Ok it's not 100% right but it gets the convo round to the right area and at least it is a real medically understood word.

It's like saying my arm hurts, instead of more specifically my elbow or wrist.

3b1g Fri 30-Nov-12 15:09:10

Not comparable, as your elbow and wrist are part of your arm. It's more like saying that your rectum hurts when you mean your anus.

3b1g Fri 30-Nov-12 15:20:50

Although I do get the point that 'vagina' is better than 'tuppence', especially if your DD then has a girl called Tuppence in her class.

ByTheWay1 Fri 30-Nov-12 15:22:21

We just call them girl bits and boy bits - I don't expect a full anatomical breakdown on whether they feel sore on their labia/vulva/perineum or vagina - girl bits will do just fine...

And it also is fine for school too - If Joe - say (I don't know a Joe....)- was kicking about in the playground - Joe hurt my flower sounds daft- Joe hurt my girl bits sounds accurate - Joe hurt my vagina sounds pervy...

ByTheWay1 Fri 30-Nov-12 15:24:47

p.s. I'm a dinner lady and some of the names the kids come out with are cutesy or incomprehensible or downright shocking - the C word coming from a 4 year old - anybody.....

quietlysuggests Sun 02-Dec-12 14:54:53

Yes I am a doctor and the inside of my cheek is raw with biting it with all this fluffy nonsense and inaccurate vaginas!
It is a bugbear of mine. It is a sign of getting old I know, that I even care. But it is rare to find a woman in her 20s who actually knows what vulva and vagina mean. And this is the "girl power" shag around, we want sex as much as the next man oh so liberated porn generation.
And they cannot refer to it in an adult way.
They are no further along than the feminists in the 60s looking at themselves with hand mirrors. They just have more sex, less guilt, more disease, less respect.

addictedismoving Sun 02-Dec-12 15:02:40

OK, I need to ask a question. As a grown up 25yo woman with 2young girls, I need to ask, its not a vagina? Really? I mean really? Whats a vulva? I think I know what a clitoris is, but really thought it was a vagina.

I was the daughter of a mum with 7 brothers, my grandma wouldn't even say the word bra as it was too rude! My mum was better but got embarrissed and thought I was wrong when I said the word crotch (girls don't have a crotch apparently!). I always said I would be better and use correct names and now I find out my vagina isn't actually a vagina?! Wtf is it?

ByTheWay1 Sun 02-Dec-12 15:09:44

A simple - and non embarrassing diagram with explanation

www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/f/female-pelvis/

addictedismoving Sun 02-Dec-12 15:27:02

Thank-you bytheway

quietlysuggests Sun 02-Dec-12 15:35:14

Addicted, Vagina is the internal or inside bit. It is the part that connects the uterus (womb) to the outside. It is not a wide open ready and waiting tube like thing, but more a soft structured passage way.

The vulva is the parts that are on the outside. It includes the labia (the lips) the clitorus and the part that is the very start of the vagina and urethra. So if you stand in front of a mirror what you see is your vulva. If you were to hold your labia apart then everything you would be looking at would still be called your vulva. If a doctor took a speculum and looked inside she would be looking into your vagina.

Its very similar to Mouth meaning lips, gums, teeth, tongue.
But oesophagus meaning the tube that connects the mouth to the stomach.
Its as though everyone goes round calling their mouth their oesophagus! Its bonkers.
But well done for asking.

digerd Sun 02-Dec-12 16:30:46

My sil's auntie, who had 5 daughters, called it their fairy - on similar lines to the venus butterfly. The wings are the lips and clitoris the body . Vagina is the conception/ birth canal and can't be seen when looking down or from the front as is underneath, below the urethra.
I didn't know anything about a vigina till I was 10 years old and learned where babies come from.

digerd Sun 02-Dec-12 16:34:52

ps.
That's a strange diagram, with a very short drooping vulva ??

aneeraid1316 Sun 02-Dec-12 16:42:26

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BikeRunSki Sun 02-Dec-12 16:53:51

Wilma
It's female Willy.

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