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My first mummy poem... I'd appreciate feedback

(6 Posts)
Mumof2littlepeople Wed 13-Aug-14 21:12:17

Hi there everyone,

I have two gorgeous children born twenty months apart. I am a stay at home mum and love them dearly. I love to mess around with words. I'm not brilliant but I've decided to write a few bits about certain times in their lives (and mine) that I don't want to forget. The ups and the downs of motherhood. I'd really appreciate any feedback you have on this and whether you think I should carry on writing some other poems or just give up and keep them to myself;

Untitled

I’m trying to think of a reason why,
I’m trying to be strong and not to cry,
Because I’ve realised lately,
I hope just in time,
That I’m not as good a mummy as mine.

It’s not lack of trying, not that I don’t care,
It’s not that I’m in complete despair,
But I thought I would be a certain way,
When in fact I’m not and it’s not OK.

I pictured fun and laughter and play,
And instead I have crying and shouting all day,
I thought I ‘d be mellow, chilled and serene,
Instead I am angry and horrid and mean.

Each day is a record, repeat and repeat,
From the moment I wake till I fall into sleep,
And then after an hour I hear a small cry,
This job is relentless, I won’t tell a lie.

I know time is precious with my bundle of joy,
And my toddler doesn’t mean to upset or annoy,
But I’m terrified soon this time will be gone,
And I’ll look back thinking I got it all wrong.

This is all new to me, every day I am learning,
And I try to achieve this perfection I’m yearning,
I cook and I clean, take the children to play group,
Mostly covered in sick and smelling of stale poop.

I have rows with my husband about what I do,
If I don’t earn a wage, do I work as hard as you?
I can tell you right now, without hesitation,
This job deserves a royal commendation.

Sometimes in the morning when I’ve got them both dressed,
They’ve been fed; I’ve been showered,
And the babies had his rest,
I think I deserve a round of applause,
But there’s no one to see this feat I’ve endured.

There are moments when my children fill me with glee,
And moments when I want to run and break free,
My vision was perfect of how a mother should be,
Is anyone out there feeling like me?

JimmyCorkhill Thu 14-Aug-14 10:07:08

You've described it perfectly! FWIW I don't think my mum did it any better. i think we have far more pressure on us to be perfect nowadays. I especially liked your verse about no one seeing the successes (everyone up, fed and dressed). And the bit about who works harder struck a chord. Well done!

Shezz27 Thu 14-Aug-14 14:00:15

A really good poem! Some parts I can relate to. Being a mum/parent isn't the easiest job and there are challenges along the way but it is good to feel appreciated for the hard work. It's not just about caring for a child it's about all the extra bits thrown in. How else would our little ones develop through life unless we teach/show them. Well done :-)

ShatterResistant Thu 14-Aug-14 14:07:37

Ha! Very well put! I like the bit about being up and dressed too. I have 2 14 months apart. I'm actually staying with my mum for a couple of weeks at the moment, and from the things she says I'm pretty confident I'm doing alright. When the baby was crying and wouldn't take his nap the other day, she said, "Ah, now this is when I'd put you in the pram, wheel you to the bottom of the garden and leave you there for a couple of hours." I rest my case.

Nikkijo31 Sat 23-Aug-14 20:29:52

I love this! I'm not the only one that feels this way! Hoorah! smile x

Knackered123 Tue 26-Aug-14 09:28:01

Brilliant. Sums it all up and sometimes I feel that I am the only one who feels that way. Definitely carry on with writing poetry you are very good at it smile

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