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Family fallouts

(3 Posts)
Anonymous86 Sat 18-Jan-14 13:48:02

Just after opinions on this situation.

In my first relationship my family loved my ex girlfriend although I was never keen the relationship lasted 3 years because I felt stuck in the relationship because of my family bonding with her so much.

Anyway fast forward 3/4years and I have a relationship and a child with my girlfriend of 2 years. My ex girlfriend never did the normal thing and fizzle out the relationships she built with my family and move on and they've all stayed close (meaning my sisters and my mother)

My sister got married last year and my ex went on the hen do, and to the wedding and at the wedding was around all my family like she was part of it all. I ended up feeling like the ex at her sisters wedding. Even to the point where in the hotel in the morning we come down to breakfast and she is sat having breakfast at my mothers table, meaning me my girlfriend and 6 month old daughter sat at another table.

Ok moving on to scenario 2
My ex girlfriend used to pop and visit my family which made it extremely awkward for me to take my girlfriend and daughter down for random visits.
I've always popped to visit my mom once a week with my daughter but my mom only pops up on very rare occasions. My sisters never at all and my stepdad has been to my house once in 9 months.

They all smoke and when I told them to wash there hands before picking up my child they thought that was excessive and because of ignoring my request I then changed it to not being able to pick her up until after an hour of smoking they thought that was even more excessive.
The final straw was when I asked them to watch there language in front of my daughter they told me to not tell them to watch there language in there own home and haven't spoken to them since, since then I've had no contact with them in almost 3 months and haven't taken my daughter to see them.
My girlfriend thinks they have no respect for her which I completely agree with now.
A lot of it started when I didn't go to my brother in laws stag do in magaluf for a weekend when the baby was 4 months old because my girlfriend was feeling maybe a little insecure and not happy with me going just after pregnancy and we hadn't been apart for that long before, so I decided not to go.

Just hoping to get some opinions on this situation as I feel down about it all the time so much i feel depressed.

Theoldhag Sat 18-Jan-14 17:48:29

There really isn't anything you can do about your ex and your family, they have chosen to be friends, all you have is control over your own actions and life. I am not saying that your feelings are not valid in any way shape or form. You could ask your family to make more of an effort in building a relationship with your partner, making her feel welcome. You could also ask that your parents respect your feelings by not having your ex over when you visit. You don't have to let them know anymore than you feel uncomfortable.

I hope you and your family reach a point of compromise and understanding.

anum Thu 23-Jan-14 04:26:00

I feel that you should visit your family more often with your gf and baby. And make them realise that they are also a part of your life and if you visit them often they will also get comfortable with your gf and so will you gf. We cannot ask the world to change for us but we can try atleast from our side.

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