In her new book Kith, Jay Griffiths asks why children in the West tend to be unhappier than those from traditional cultures.
She makes a connection between the amount of freedom and autonomy that children are given, and their happiness - and in this guest post, suggests that Western attitudes to children and food might need re-examining.
What do you think - are some of our struggles with food related to how children learn to eat in their formative years? If you blog on this topic, don't forget to leave your URL here on the thread.
"A few years ago, I spent some days with Sami people while they were doing the midsummer reindeer herding. It was a busy time for the adults, and the children did as they customarily do in Sami society: they took care of themselves. The tiniest children ran about chasing the tiniest reindeer calves, and when they got hungry they rummaged around to eat what they wanted, sometimes a piece of reindeer meat, sometimes a fish freshly caught, sometimes a tub of biscuits. They decided what and when they ate.
"When we're working, we just don't have time to be bothering the kids," one reindeer herder, Margrethe Vars, told me. She dragged on her cigarette and blew the smoke out, imitating European parents with her words smouldering: "Have you washed your hands? Now you must eat." She pulled a face, envisaging that situation which so often creates conflict: meal times. To her, it was a relief that children sorted themselves out. "Here we sleep when we are tired, eat when we are hungry," Vars said. "But for other societies, children are very organised. Timing is everything."
Autonomy over food from a very young age seems a feature of childhood in many traditional societies. Young children in nineteenth century Oxfordshire would catapult birds and go 'spadgering', casting a net over a whole hedge to catch sparrows. Alacaluf children of Patagonia fend for themselves early, using a shell-fish spear and cooking their own food from the age of about four. Very young Inuit children may use a whip to hunt ptarmigans, with a flick of the wrist, lopping off their heads. Ache children of Paraguay learn early how to collect fruit, and boys are given a bow and arrow when they are about two. By the time they are ten or twelve, they carry a bow all the time, learning to hunt, and by this age have become very independent of their parents. When Tom Sawyer runs away with Huck and Joe Harper, they take hooks and lines for fishing and they light a cooking fire: it seemed to them 'glorious' 'to be feasting in that wild free way'.
Travelling through the highlands of West Papua among the Yali people, I often saw village boys going off together, bristling with bows and arrows to hunt birds, catch frogs and roast them in their own fire. From about five years old they would grow their own sweet potatoes, no longer asking their parents for food. At this point, they would leave their mother's house to live in the men's house: again food is a marker of maturity.
Meanwhile, in England, an environmental play project organised by Tim Gill called 'Wild About Play' asked children what they most wanted to do outdoors and the answer was to make fires, to cook on them, collecting and eating wild foods. This is exactly the sign of independence demonstrated by children everywhere, controlling their own food and their own bodies. I stress this because it seems that modern Euro-American children have two unusual food-related experiences: firstly they don't have early autonomy with respect to food and secondly, they do experience eating problems. While the desire to control one's own food seems a widely shared need among children, the issue of 'control' is one possible contributory factor for eating problems. Could they be related?
For years of evolutionary history, children have trapped, grown, found, hunted or fished for themselves and cooked on their own fires. The instinct to control one's own food and fire is blocked by the lifestyle of the dominant culture which discourages children lighting fires or finding food outdoors, which categorises food as something coming from shops, rather than directly from the land, and which stipulates that food must be cooked, indoors, by an adult who often makes a child eat at their command. Is this part of the reason why some children, deprived of such an age-old freedom, are vulnerable to developing distorted relationships with food?
I ask these as questions, not as certainties. For certainties, the subject needs careful studies. I for one would be delighted if it was researched, because I know - as many of us do - how frightening, dangerous and tragic food-related problems can become. My job is not to do the research, but in this instance to look at the subject in more of a lateral way: to add to the debate on possible causes. I don't seek to deny that there are a huge number of very complex and difficult causes, nor do I refute the idea that these problems are individually-based. But I do find it fascinating to draw possible questions - not conclusions - based on history and anthropology and social observation as well as specific, individually-based psychiatry and psychotherapy.
Throughout my book, I am not trying to say that it is individual parenting which is problematic for children: rather I am looking at how society as a whole has organized itself in ways which are often antipathetic to the needs of children. My work is designed to open up avenues of debate, to be on the side of both children and parents, to look at the big picture of childhood. And that means sometimes to offer examples of alternative ways of doing things, and to pose questions.
When I took my godson and his friend, aged eleven and twelve, for a few days in the woods, the first thing they did was sharpen sticks into spears. The second thing they did was light a fire. The third thing they did was to get sausages and marshmallows and toast them (more or less at the same time) over the open fire. They wouldn't have enjoyed dinner at the Ritz half as much as this."
Kith: The Riddle Of The Childscape, by Jay Griffiths, is published by Hamish Hamilton at £20.
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Guest blog: should we give children more autonomy over food?
22 replies
KateMumsnet · 15/05/2013 10:50
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