Visitors after birth

(2 Posts)
katied1989 Fri 14-Oct-16 00:50:08

Ok so I'll try and keep this as brief as possible but I have a couple of things I wanted advice about:

1) I'm planning a homebirth been feeling cramping for a few days startedlosing my plug and baby is 2/5 engaged. I don't want anyone to know when I go into labour so I'm wanting to ban visitors from now until a week after baby's born, I want to get feeding established and dd1 adjusted to the new baby before people become obsessive. My family are overbearing and like to insist on how you do things, don't like that I choose to bf as they can't feed the baby etc. In fact I'm dreading visitors at all as I feel it's the only time people crawl out of the woodwork.

2) secondly, things are a bit fraught between me and my mum of late, my husband suffers with depression and a few weeks ago hit a downward spiral that I was anticipating as he had one before dd1 birth because if the pressure of becoming a dad again, he hit it, I noticed, we spoke our coping mechanisms in place.. all sorted. My mum doesn't understand it and things he's not playing his role etc, and basically is constantly trying to buy her way in to our family and 'provide' things for me and our daughter as if to validate herself and prove we need her. My husband is feeling threatened by her and I'm starting to feel like I'm having to justify everything I do to her, I mean when I was in uni I barely heard from her but suddenly my daughters born and she wants to be in contact and call all the time. Today I'm even more aggravated as last night my mum sent me a picture of loads of knitted things, apparently my grandma on my dad's side had knitted them for the baby and sent them up with my aunty, my aunty drive passed my house to drop them in my mums to give to me, but my mum felt she had the right to open the bag and go through it, laying them all in thevsufa to send me a picture and then even had the nerve to telle to ring my grandma to say thank you. I mean I'm an adult for goodness sakes. Any ideas on how I can ask her to back off without sounding selfish id ungrateful?

Thanjs

cathaka15 Fri 14-Oct-16 01:04:01

Pick up the phone. Have a quick chat. Then get to the point.
Mum.
Me and Dh have decided to..........
I'm sorry if you don't like it or understand it.
But right now it's what's best for us.
Hope you understand and we hope to see you after the baby has settled in her routine.
Love you.
Bye.
Phone down and relax.

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