All new Not Quite NT thread - 2013 for weightloss and answers

(49 Posts)
madwomanintheattic Wed 02-Jan-13 05:45:38

Weigh in tomorrow chez mad.

<peers round for not quite NT-ers>

madwomanintheattic Thu 03-Jan-13 04:19:33

11stone 9.5lbs.

Two stone off.

Target set.

Ds's birthday today. grin

<talks to self>

silverfrog Fri 04-Jan-13 20:52:14

Ooh, can I join (I do have a not-quite-NTer grin)

It's time to shift some weight. I can keep kidding myself that it's baby weight, but it was there before I got pregnant with ds blush, and even if it is baby weight, it needs to shift.

I currently weigh about 10st 10. Target: ooh, about 9 st 7 ish I guess.

silverfrog Fri 04-Jan-13 20:53:18

And Happy Birthday mini-mad grin

moosemama Fri 04-Jan-13 20:57:19

Hey hey - found you!

Happy New Year Madwoman. grin Oo and happy birthday to ds for yesterday.

I was going to start a thread on New Years Day, but couldn't think of a title and was then really poorly for about 48 hours with all sorts of weird head stuff going on following my EEG on the 31st.

Still enough with the excuses ...

Decided not to start until next week, so that all the remaining Christmassy junk will have been cleared out before I begin, so I won't be setting myself up to fail.

I am going to weigh in on Monday morning and am absolutely dreading it. None of my clothes fit and I have have vegged and pigged for months now so am pretty sure I will be nudging 13 stone again at least. <sigh>

Still I only have myself to blame and it's time to get things back on track.

I'm not going to be as gung-ho about it all as I was last year, mainly because it will be a long time until I can get back to exercising properly. What I really want is to take hold of my eating habits again, start logging my intake and give myself a sharp reality check. With the main aim being to improve my health rather than worrying about my dress size or looks.

So I'm going to weigh-in and start logging on My Fitness Pal as of Monday morning. It depends on my weigh-in weight, but I'm thinking of setting targets in small easier to face bites this time, so probably going for something around 11 stone 7lbs initially and then taking it from there.

I am back to walking without my crutches for the first time since August, although to be honest it really hurts - and I'm going to start exercising gently as of Monday as well, with a 15 minute exercise bike session per day and building it up from there, hopefully adding in some walking with the dogs as I get stronger.

moosemama Fri 04-Jan-13 21:01:20

Hello silverfrog - yes, come and join us.

Although your starting weight is where I was after losing 4 ish stones in March this year. blush

We do a lot of talking, often absolutely nothing to do with weightloss and in my case on the last thread, not much if any actual losing weight, but I mean to put that right this year. blush

silverfrog Fri 04-Jan-13 21:09:35

Congrats on the weightloss so far!

I am a total newbie to any kind of weight watching. It's only the last few years, with too much sitting around doing statement documents, and even worse, long drives to dd1's school and lots of nibbling in the car that have made it necessary.

I too want this to be as much about cleaning up my eating habits ( have a terrible haribo habit!) as about weightloss which is just as well as have been vaguely watching what I eat and doing a bit more exercise (tricky as I am marooned on the sofa bf ds a lot of the time) for about a month now and no difference angry

In fact, it was only over Christmas week (where I certainly didn't hold back!) that I lost 1lb confused

moosemama Fri 04-Jan-13 21:25:08

Thanks. It was good while it lasted. I worked really hard at it from June 2011 to March 2012, but then my health took a nosedive and my weight has pretty much been going in the opposite direction ever since.

For me personally, logging my food intake on My Fitness Pal was the best way to lose the weight and I learned a lot about portion size and what constitutes good and bad food along the way. The chat boards are also a hive on information on that site.

After a while it was easy for me to chuck a healthy meal consisting of a well balanced protein and carbs etc in sensible portion sizes without even thinking about it.

The other thing was exercise. I started off walking, built up to several miles a day and then threw myself into doing Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred and then some more of her DVDs - all of which are based on circuit/interval training either with our without weights. They are sooo hard, but they really do get fast results and the exercise did far more for my body shape and general wellbeing than the dieting did.

I started off at a smidge under 15 stone and in March last year reached 10 stone 9lbs - although I didn't manage to maintain that weight for long.

Last time I weighed in, which was a couple of months back now, I was over 11 and a half stone and still going up. sad Unfortunately being on crutches since August and then the neurological stuff on top and finally the seizures, I didn't really feel motivated to try and sort it out. BUT I feel like I want to take the control back now - so next Monday it is. smile

Believe it or not, with the breastfeeding you might actually need to be eating more - just more of a healthier variety, iyswim. If you don't eat enough it can stall weightloss or even make you gain. That would explain why you lost a pound when you ate more over Christmas.

People used to think it was because the body went into panic 'famine' mode and started storing weight, but it's a lot more complicated than that - stuff to do with various hormones and stress responses. There's quite a bit about it on the My Fitness Pal chat boards and some really interesting sticky threads with useful links for getting your head around it.

silverfrog Fri 04-Jan-13 21:34:31

thaks, moose, really interesting.

I have a fitbit (bought on amazon black friday deals) to try to help motivate me, and have logged some food bits on the website tracker bit - it does get you to focus, certainly. I found I was drinking more too, as I was supposed to log how much I drank each day - this can only be a good thing as I can often go the best part of a day without actually drinking anything shock

I would hate to mislead you into thinking I was actually doing any serious food-watching grin. mostly I was cutting back on haribo and fizzy drinks (I don't normally like them, but do drink them in pregnancy as they help me with nausea, and the habit stuck this time around), and also making sure I ate breakfast every day (am usually a breakfast skipper blush)

all other food as normal, with extra bits thrown in if I felt peckish when feeding, but trying to make sure the extra bits were eg fruit rather than haribo!

I have the 30 day shred somewhere - I did start it ages ago, but then got pregnant so obviously that went out the window. will have to dig that out and re-start it, slowly. my stomach muscles still aren't quite back where they should be after having ds residing in them for so long, so will need to go very slowly with any abs stuff.

will take a look at myfitnesspal - will give me something else to read while sitting up half the night with ds grin

madwomanintheattic Sat 05-Jan-13 04:43:26

Oo, silverfrog! <waves>
And hello moose! - I had to stalk you in the end grin

I'm not really starting until tomorrow <mwah ha ha> what with finishing off all the <mince> pies and birthday cake, and I'm not intending to do anything drastic.

Sil came over for Christmas and skied. She has lost 66lbs this year!!

I've had to quit boot camp in favour of earning money as we were really struggling with mortgage payments, but new job (Tis where I was working at my summer job, but different department) has pool and gym. grin all I need to do now is create the willpower to actually go. AF timing meant that this week was never going to work to kick off anything, least of all clothes, but I have signed up for my month's free membership again to see what happens. grin

And I will try and remember my mfp password to log in - will sort it out over the weekend.

I only lost half a stone in a year, silver, but I felt much fitter as I assume loads of the flab turned to muscle. I got into jeans from two years before, anyway... I suppose that means I'm a fifth of the way to my target... grin <positive spin>

On a kids note - ds's psych is pregnant, so whilst I was picking up vibes that she wasn't going to be seeing him again, it wasn't because he was being discharged, so I've postponed the city psych that did his assessment to see what's going to happen. She was going to discuss issues with school.

I was going to agree with eating more as well.... This weight loss stuff can be frankly bizarre. I have to say that I think the whole weight loss whilst bf thing is a con, although I did lose freaking stones after Ds (he fed every 2 hours for thirty minutes 24/7 for 10 mos). I have photos of me in a frigging bikini ten mos after the birth of my second child ffs. I was running a lot though, too - it was the only way to escape the house and the children!!

And now I am (almost) 42. I've never been a bikini wearer, but I haven't even worn shorts for about seven years. So my goal (apart from the one up thread) is to actually be able to wear shorts next summer. grin not short shorts. Just regular long shorts instead of three quarter length trousers....

I'm so pleased life is treating you well, silver.

How did the EEG go, moose? When do you get results? Bike should be ok, better to be non weight bearing? What about swimming whilst dd is at nursery? (It would be quiet enough for you to do the changing room dash?)

silverfrog Sat 05-Jan-13 07:44:02

Hi <waves>

Fitness is definitely my goal. I cannot believe how unfit and flabby I am. I used to be a ballet dancer fgs. Thought nothing of putting on bikinis and wearing fitted stuff. Then I caught sight of myself in a shop window the summer before I got pregnant and was shock

Started up some fitness bits - wii fit mostly, and then 30 day shred. I have a horror of gyms, and tend to drown rather than swim grin. Obviously now have ds so childcare a factor once more.

I want to be toned again, and not care what I wear anymore. My target weight is based on what was (pre children) my previous heaviest weight so should be achievable but agree its more about body size/shape than the actual number.

I can beat 2 hourly feeds - up until a few weeks ago, ds was feeding every 45 mins or so 24/7 due to undiagnosed tongue tie. It's a good thing he's cute grin. Thankfully sorted now, although he's still feeding every 3 hours or so - it just feels like an age between feeds!

How is your ds doing (lack of psych aside)? Any luck with any dietary stuff? I've had to go dairy free while feeding ds as he seems to have inherited dh's dairy issue. Dd2 is now on a normal diet finally, and loving school dinners as a result - she came home one day and said "mummy, today we had something really special. Have you heard of it? It was <reverant whisper> custard". I had to laugh, poor little deprived mite grin

madwomanintheattic Sun 06-Jan-13 16:23:45

We've relaxed it a bit, to get an idea of what his meds are doing. I'm going to start again actually - I don't know what he ate yesterday (he was out with dh) but he had his first soiling accident for ages yesterday. He's also ran out of some of his supplements, and we were so skint I didn't buy any more. Have been working since 17 Dec though, finally, so can go and restart everything.

Rofl at custard. Mil smuggles Birds to us occasionally. grin

I have a friend whose dd was fairly free, but only until 12 mos when she outgrew it. It was a pita for friend, as she had to go df as well, but they were all sorted by 12 mos.... Fingers crossed?

moosemama Mon 07-Jan-13 10:07:44

<deep breath>

Weigh in:

Monday 7 January 2013 - 175lbs = 12st 7lbs sad

Initial goal: 11st 7 - 1 stone off

Checked and last time I weighed in was four months ago. I was 166lbs then, so have gained a stone in that time. Still, not quite as close to 13 stone as I thought I might be, but bad enough all the same.

Have already updated MFP and started logging. Apple cinammon porridge made with water this morning, salad for lunch and don't have a clue for dinner - possibly home made veg soup.

Set up MFP for a pound a week loss at sedentary settings to begin with, as I have to be realistic about what I can achieve in my current physical (not to mention mental) state. I'm apparently allowed 1350 kcals at that rate, which I know from before is easily doable.

Hoping things will be helped along this time by the addition of a microwave to our kitchen, which makes it much easier to prepare food for one person.

madwomanintheattic Mon 07-Jan-13 13:56:19

Oh, bless you, moose. You've not had a chance really, what with everything else.

Still, you've done it once, you'll just have to be gentler this time xxxx

When is your neuro appt?

moosemama Mon 07-Jan-13 14:06:45

I know the odds have been kind of stacked against me, but eating the chocolate was my choice and now I'm facing the results. blush

I'm determined not to get too down about it though. I was 15 stone when I started this, so have to keep hold of the fact that I am still two and a half stone lighter than I was in June 2011 - and I'm still in my size 12 jeans even if they are from Next, so actually a size 14. wink

I still don't have a neuro appointment. Had my EEG last week, my MRI is next week and I suppose the next thing will be a neuro appointment. Dh has tried loads of time to get hold of the neuro's secretary, but she's either left a message on her machine saying she's on holiday or she seems to be permanently away from her desk. hmm We don't even know at this point if the A&E/AMU Dr notified her like she said she would.

I have decided to book a double appointment with my GP and go through everything with them. I still haven't had my physio appointment through for my foot/ankle and that referral was supposedly made around the first week in October. The only problem is booking one when there's someone around to give me a lift and have the dcs. I seem to have endless appointments at the moment and of course I can't get there without help. It's two bus rides, into town and out, even though it's not actually that far and the second bus actually brings me back half the way I've already come. hmm Costs me £4.00 each way in bus tickets as well.

TheLightPassenger Mon 07-Jan-13 16:00:27

tired wave.

12 stone 12. Eeeek. But proves my theory that I always, always, weigh more than MooseMama at whatever weight. My lowest weight last summer was 12 stone 2, so it's not that bad really. Just completely lost it with work/stress/etc in run up to Xmas.

moosemama Mon 07-Jan-13 18:24:09

<waves back>

Hi TLP, I bet you'll overtake me this time - I'm taking it very slowly this time. I think we all lost it in the run up to Christmas - although in my case, I lost the plot a looong time before that.

Well, have logged my evening meal and am within all my goals, with enough left for one more decaff coffee. So not too bad.

madwomanintheattic Tue 08-Jan-13 01:18:52

Frick, I am the lightest. First time for everything, I s'pose! <hides silverfrog behind curtain>

How many calories do you think there are in the average bowl of leftover soup and a small bread roll? (Staff canteen. Definitely leftover soup. Could be anything that didn't get served in the restaurant turned into staff soup... From seafood to lentils, to chilli, to carrot...) I haven't got round to resurrecting mfp account yet, but I think I'll try to do it this weekend.

madwomanintheattic Tue 08-Jan-13 01:19:54

MRI appt will hopefully kick off neuro, moose. What a pain having to wait around.

silverfrog Tue 08-Jan-13 22:36:32

Ok, according to kellymom, I should be having between 1800 and 2200 calories per day as am ebf ds.

Even aiming for the lower end of that, I come within my allowance on mfp even with some general post-Christmas scoffing going on confused

Oh well, will see how it goes. Obviously can't restrict calories too much, as don't want to jeopardise bf - will be in it for the longhaul again due to the dairy intolerance - dd2 has only just grown out of hers at nearly 6! So need to get ds well into toddlerhood if possible as don't really like any of the gf/cf alternatives tbh.

Hope your appts come through soon, Moose.

madwomanintheattic Wed 09-Jan-13 04:31:31

My body just stockpiles flab when I bf. I can't lose any weight at all until I stop, however much/ little I eat. It's as though it retains every last ounce of everything I ingest, just in case. It seems to work a bit like the 'eating too little' thing. Sort of shuts down due to starvation/ milk production.

And I'm like fecking daisy, me. Any farmer would be dancing with joy with me shackled up to the damn milking machine. When dd2 left SCBU I had to empty 82 bottles of expressed milk from the freezer. She was only 5 weeks old, and had obv been fed it as well... <sigh> it was kinda neat, as when I stopped bf, she still had milk for another couple of weeks.... grin

I am knackered. This week is keeeerrrrrrazy, and I can't even think about exercise. Am vowing to get my act together as of Monday at work.

moosemama Wed 09-Jan-13 14:30:15

Another daisy here. I could express a full 9oz bottle for the dcs night feed in just a couple of minutes. Mind you, you'd think these ridiculously oversized objects would be good for something, other than causing men to speak to my chest instead of my face. hmm

I have had a very odd couple of days. Spent most of this week arguing about what was agreed at the school/lea/inclusion meeting before Christmas and then retyping the actions, whilst simultaneously trying to get a CAMHS referral for ds1 and speak to our statementing officer about getting him into an out of area, independent secondary. Been meeting myself coming back between phone calls, answer machines, call backs and emails.

GP said Paed had to refer to CAMHS, so to arrange an appointment with him. His secretary said ds had been discharged - he hadn't - and there are no appointments until the end of March. Eventually got to speak to him and he said CAMHS won't see ds because it's school related anxiety and therefore the EP should be dealing with it. <sigh> BUT Paed was on the ball and keen to help, so is calling the EP himself to come up with a plan of action for current school anxiety, sorting the school out so that the cause of the anxiety is removed by them supporting him properly and also sorting some proper emotional support through transition.

Then today I took ds2 for his OT assessment relating to his hypermobility. What a revelation. Saw a fantastic OT, who is the lead OT for our area and is amazing. I thought we would just get fobbed off, as we were with physio, but no.

1. They are going into school to assess his seating and support and tell them he needs specialist seating.

2. They are going back to paed physio, who refused to see him because he'd already been seen at the hospital by useless main physio dept, to ask for advice on pain and pacing and to try and get them to see him.

3. They are arranging for the school nurse to work with them and school on a care plan to ensure he can tell someone when he's in pain or exhausted.

4. They tried him with lots of different pencils/pencil grips/cutlery/rulers etc and came up with the best ones to suit his needs. Also noted during this that his fingers are extremely hypermobile - in that the end joint of his index finger bends back severely if using the wrong writing implement.

5. They are sending in a specialist PE teacher to the school to teach them how to differentiate for his needs during PE.

6. They are referring him for support from the physical disabilities inclusion team! shock

I was gobsmacked at how helpful they were - much better than when ds1 was assessed.

I was also sad when the got him to tell them about all the things he struggles with and how much pain and exhaustion he suffers from. We really haven't given his needs enough attention what with my health and the last few years of battling for ds1 and I have to admit, I hadn't really taken in how bad things have been for him. He rarely complains and if he does complain or cry, then things are really bad.

I dread to think how the school is going to take it. I did explain that we are already persona-non-grata at the school because of our fight for ds1's support, but they were lovely and said I'm not to worry, let them deal with it.

THEN, when I got home, I had a message from dh to say the LEA is approaching the independent school we want to see if they'll take ds1. The school has already told us they don't see a problem, so fingers crossed. It doesn't mean the LEA will agree to send him there and we still won't hear either way until February, but the SO said school placement is very much open right up until the name actually goes on the form and she has altered the file to put the independent first for us! (We are confirming this in writing of course. wink) I think it helped that she came to that meeting, saw what things are really like and that we aren't ogres, just parents that care about their children and have been really messed around by the school.

Meantime, the school still isn't supporting ds1 properly, as in not doing the things they agreed to at the blooming meeting <head-desk> and ds1 is a mess, manic one minute, exhausted and despondent the next. Same-old-same-old.

Anyhoo ...

All that has meant that I have been too busy to fit in meals and have easily come in under my calorie etc goals on mfp this week. In fact, I have just eaten my breakfast at 2.00 pm for the second day running. hmm It also means I haven't had much time to sit down, so - although my foot is officially killing me, hopefully I've been burning a lot more calories than I was during the previous few weeks.

I have a fridge full of salad and the sun is shining (albeit it in a freezing cold wintry kind of way) so I am feeling much more like eating it than I have been.

Only sticky moment was when I was exhausted last night after the dcs went to bed. Nasty chocolate craving that wouldn't die BUT I didn't give in, even though there is a tin of tunnocks caramel bars in the kitchen and they are one of my favourite, favourite treats. <proud>

moosemama Wed 09-Jan-13 14:30:34

Yay megapost! I'm back! grin

madwomanintheattic Thu 10-Jan-13 05:35:39

And oooooo, independent! Yay! OT sounds lovely - I'm a big fan of decent OTs, dd2 has had a lot of them, lol. Was she adamant about the pencil grips and stuff, or is she intending to transition to laptop in the future? Dd2 now uses an iPad with an external wireless keyboard and the 'pages' app. It seems to be working for now...

And oi, make sure you are eating enough, ok?

moosemama Thu 10-Jan-13 10:07:27


Well, still on the up. Decided to step on the scales this morning, despite knowing full well I shouldn't and I was 171 lbs. Gotta love that first week of dieting water loss! grin

Timed perfectly actually, as I am out to lunch today at a place that does gorgeous cakes and it has doubled my resolve not to indulge.

I am eating, honest - and all really healthy stuff. It was gf chip shop night last night and I had a salad pitta with a bit of garlic mayo. <bows> I'm not quite making my calorie limit, but then it's a couple of hundred calories higher than it was last time I did this, so I'm not worried.

Still having horrible sugar cravings in the evenings, but hoping that will gradually reduce the longer I'm not giving in to it, although I haven't done my strict sugar detox this time, so might take longer than usual.

Googled ds2's OT yesterday and discovered she was involved in the development of the new Cbeebies programme that is supposed to help children with DCD and other co-ordination problems, Tree Fu Tom. The dcs are seriously impressed, as the all like that programme, particularly dd, who loves to join in all the Tree Fu Moves, which is great, because I strongly suspect she has JHS as well.

Not sure about handwriting long-term for ds2. We discussed ds1 and she pretty much agreed that there's little point in pushing one they get to 10/11 as handwriting is unlikely to improve much from that point onwards. She said she is a keen advocate of teaching children with co-ordination and fine motor problems to type early on, so that they are proficient later and she did suggest we start teaching ds2, so she might be thinking along those lines for the future.

Obviously really pleased about the indie school thing, but with a healthy side order of scepticism, there's no guarantees that even if the school says they'll have him the LEA will agree to fund it and we won't know either way until 15 February (dh's birthday hmm).

Despite all the positive stuff, I do have some sad news. My belgian sheperd x border collie is not well and we're pretty sure she may not be around for much longer. She seems to have suddenly developed a tumour on her tummy. It wasn't there just before Christmas (last time we had chance to groom her blush) but is now the size of a kids bouncy ball and looks like it has a really good blood supply. She's restless, doing a lot of pacing and whining and generally not good, she only seems to settle when I sit and stroke her quietly. sad Dh has booked her at the vets at the weekend.

She's had a good innings, but these things are never easy and for some reason I thought she'd be one of those dogs that lives to a ripe old age, getting fatter and smellier as she went. She would be 14 if she made it to next December. Such a lovely gentle (yet bonkers) girl, not one ounce of nastiness in her at all. sad

madwomanintheattic Fri 11-Jan-13 00:15:11

Aw moose. sad are you sure it's not just a fatty tumour? (Can't remember what they are called) brown dog has one sort of under one armpit (you know what I mean) and it's also pretty big... But supposedly harmless... Fingers crossed for the vets. Our last dog (a kleine munsterlander) had a tumour in her intestines and it was really very awful for everyone, including her. Keep soothing x

Lol at chip shop - I read it first as 'gluten free' chip shop. I'm like 'wow, there's clever!' blush

Dd2 had a choking episode at school at lunch. The TA had to do the Heimlich manoeuvre and it was a bit of a side show by all accounts, so dd2 was teary all afternoon. I left work early to make sure she was ok once she got home. Poor wee mouse. Her teacher called me to get some background info (and obv tell me what happened) but it's all on her file. And they aren't going to give her closer support when she's so variable. She did admit that it was a bit of a salient reminder for all of them that she is more vulnerable than they generally assume, though, so I think that's a good thing... I mean, in the UK I made sure that everyone who supervised was trained in dealing with choking incidents, and it was written into her statement, but there isn't that capacity here... (Well, there is, but only for the most complex kids, and she's so generally capable that she tends not to fit the framework for extra support in those terms....)

Ah. I'm very tired. I'm going to have a wee sit down and a cup of tea (and the very last slice of Christmas cake). And then it's done. I've got to go grocery shopping later, so there will be fruit and veg ahoy. With a side of protein.

moosemama Fri 11-Jan-13 16:35:11

No, it's defninitely not a lipoma. She's a lumpy dog in general, always has been. She has atopic dermatitis and malassezia pachydermitis, which is a greasy fungal skin problem with paws, ears and skin folds. She also gets lipomas, cysts and odd warty things, but this is clearly a proper tumour, with a really strong blood supply. sad

I LOVE Musterlanders. There were two attending the canine studies course I did when we first moved to Lancashire - gorgeous dogs.

My boxer x gsd had fibrosarcoma of the hock. Vets misdiagnosed and screwed up the biopsy during the foot and mouth crisis. They said it was low grade and harmless, I disagreed and argued, they refused to agree it needed 5cm clean margins when it was removed. It came back within 8 months, as I predicted, because cutting a fibrosarcoma actually encourages it to grow. The first time it was removed was the week I found out I was expecting ds1, it grew back big enough to be visible to the eye when I was 8 months pregnant but had grown big enough to rupture by the week after he was born and he died when ds was 10 days old. They took him in for xrays to assess metastasis prior to leg amputation and found every single organ was riddled, so we had to make the decision that they shouldn't wake him from the anaesthetic. sad

Re chip shop. It was actually a gf chip shop until a few months ago. It was family run and they had a coeliac family member, so kept a fryer completely separate and had gf batter - twas great. Unfortunately they sold it on and now it's only gf on a Wednesday night when they change the oil.

Oh my goodness! Just read down your post. Poor dd2, I hope she's ok - and you for that matter. As you said, hopefully it will at least serve as a reminder that they need to be taking her needs more seriously. I'm surprised they aren't going to supervise meals more closely - surely it's a safe-guarding issue?

I've had another ridiculously hectic, odd day. Been worried about ds1 for a while now. He usually doesn't sleep well, takes hours to to get to sleep, then sleeps lightly for a few hours and is up at the crack of dawn disturbing the whole house. Since Christmas he's been really exhausted and lethargic and we've been putting it down to stress. Then last week he started to literally fall asleep as his head hit the pillow and sleep really deeply. Usually if I go in their room at night he will ping awake, but I have been able to go in, put washing away, tuck him in etc and not even a stir. He's also been unable to get up in the morning, even ds2 has been getting up before him. He looks ghostly with big black puffy rings under his eyes. Seems to have been getting worse by the day, but no other symptoms - except a he's told me a few times over the past couple of days that the world seemed to suddenly slip sideways, as if the ground suddenly tipped up and he seems to be having episodes of completely missing parts of conversations.

I have mentioned it to school a few times and his LSA has said he's been exhausted and struggling there as well, but she kept playing it down. Then this morning he simply couldn't walk to school. He insisted on going, but clearly wasn't up to it. We got outside and he said his lunchbox was too heavy to carry. I was limping slowly and he said he couldn't walk that fast. I said I wanted him to stay home, he tried to have a meltdown, but didn't have the energy. Managed to get to school (had to take ds2 anyway) and he really looked like he was going to collapse any second - still arguing all the while that he wanted to go.

I had to go to assembly this morning, as ds2 is star of the week, so I suggested he come to assembly with me and see how he went - no dice. So I took him to the office to ask to see his old teacher from last year and see if she could make him see sense. Got in there to find his LSA signing in. She agreed he looked awful, but again said "oh, it's just the start of term" etc. She did suggest he went home, again no dice. So I suggested to her that he come to assembly with me and between us he agreed.

He only lasted until ds2 had his certificate (about ten minutes in) and he clearly couldn't hold himself up in the chair, constantly yawning and positively transparent in the face. So at the first hymn, I tried to take him out - another attempted meltdown, but I managed to bundle him into the hallway. Lots of tears, but I pulled rank and he went to fetch his stuff. Got home and called the GP, who happened to have a cancellation in an hour's time. Took him in, GP took one look at him, listened to what's been going on and sent us straight to the hospital for bloods. He said he's not sure, it could be stress, but he wants to eliminate physical causes before making that call.

Ds broke down as soon as we left the GP's room because he didn't want the bloods done and he really hates the emla cream (sensory). He wailed and sobbed and carried on - no talking to him.

Then the chemist screwed up and lost his emla prescription, so he was left ranting away in the car with dd and grandma for almost an hour, while I stood up on my bad foot waiting for them to sort it out. angry Mum was grey by the time I finally came out - poor woman.

Raced home, threw some lunch down dd and raced her to nursery with seconds to spare. Then went home, stuck on the emla and went to the hospital, where first of all they kept us waiting for an hour - so the emla had worn off and then they informed me their new policy is not to do kids and they would try once then, if it didn't work, we'd have to go to the city paeds dept an hour away for a paed phlebotomist. hmm Fortunately he gave blood generously and was surprised at how little it hurt.

Took him to the local garden centre cafe for a milkshake on the way home for being brave and he fell in love with a teddy, which Mum promptly bought for him and he is now curled up on the sofa cuddling it, along with his rather manky, one-eared, precious 'Bunny'.

What a day! Another day with no time to eat. Managed to grab a banana on the way to the hospital in lieu of breakfast and lunch and grabbed some maltloaf somewhere along the way. Now have 1,000 calories left for tea!

madwomanintheattic Sat 12-Jan-13 02:10:41

Poor ds1, that sounds like a nightmare. Hopefully it's something reasonably simple - he isn't anaemic, is he? Definitely a good call to get the bloods done. Will you get the results on Monday?

I am loving gf chip shop!

Poor wee doggle. What a week you're having. <sigh> Will be thinking of you tomorrow for the vet appt x

moosemama Sat 12-Jan-13 11:19:20

angry Dh didn't book the bloody appointment and now they can't fit her in. angry She seems bright enough in herself today fortunately and has happily scoffed lots of treats.

I don't think ds can be anaemic unless he's not absorbing properly, as he has a really good quality multivit every day and a spatone sachet every other day.

Doc said 2-3 working days for the results, so to try Tuesday afternoon, but might be Wednesday.

We've put off dd's birthday day out today to give him chance to rest up for another day. Fortunately we hadn't told her which day we were going.

He's still really pale and tired, but was definitely better after an afternoon of being spoiled and looked after by both mum and grandma. My gut feeling is that it is stress, especially as he seems better the longer he's away from school.

There's been some playground stuff going on with truth or dare and nasty consequences that's really been upsetting him. The wider group have been using the game as a way to single out and embarrass the more vulnerable pupils without being accused of bullying. Which is interesting, because I was reading a book about bullying the other day that had a chart of the escalation of bullying, how it starts, builds up and gets more and more serious etc and he was us to the stage before hazing - which this sort of game fits the criteria for. I am going to print it out and give it to his teacher from last year, as she's the only one I can trust to take it seriously and actually do something about it.

He still won't tell his LSA or teacher though unfortunately. They keep telling him to tell an adult when he has a problem and have identified 4 possible members of staff - the only one of whom he trusts is the least available, being his teacher from last year. When I saw her yesterday she was insistent that

"There's nothing worrying you,^is there ds1^?. I spoke with him yesterday and he was fine, ^weren't you ds?^" hmm

So, yet again I had to explain that he isn't comfortable confiding in school and there is only one teacher he will speak to etc. Of course she wasn't having any of it.

I think he feels vulnerable and unprotected at school and spends the day worrying about what is going to happen next whilst simultaneously trying to hold himself together so that he doesn't do anything socially inappropriate to mark himself out as different even ore and/or get upset and cry or have a meltdown. It's no wonder he's exhausted. sad

madwomanintheattic Sun 13-Jan-13 05:13:10

Oh bless him. It does remind me of the whole GAPS diet thing, you know, and I think absorption can be affected by stress, too?

Poor doggle. Can you get her in on Monday? Was dh suitably chastened?

Ds1's ski instructor dislocated his shoulder 5 minutes into his ski lesson today... Fortunately someone on the same slope saw what happened and called ski patrol, so ds1 got to see the ski patrol in action and skied down with them with his instructor on a stretcher sledge... They found a replacement instructor, and the poor guy is going to be out for 3-4 weeks. Unfortunately this also means our first work-related injury for the not-for-profit, so I'm thanking my lucky stars that I signed up for the workers compensation insurance... Sheesh.

moosemama Sun 13-Jan-13 17:52:05

I think dh is in denial about the dog to be honest, he seriously did not like her when she was a pup (she was very naughty) but her endearing nature has grown on him over the years and he often refers to her as 'my dog' these days.

She was happily chasing a ball around the garden amidst all the ice this morning. First time she's perked up in days and she behaves like a lively puppy again. confused Dh has to call tomorrow to see if they can fit her in in the evening, as they are fully booked - again.

We've been out to the butterfly farm and lunch at a coeliac friendly restaurant as dd's birthday treat today. Ds1 wasn't well enough to do the steampunk/automata/kinetic art museum as well, so we've put in on the list to do at a future date.

Restaurant was fab, definitely one to add to the list for ds1. It's so hard to find places that even do gf bread for sandwiches, but this place has loads of gf options, including several desserts. He was delighted to have a toasted sandwich with salad and a side order of chips, followed by a fresh, warm, blueberry and coconut muffin. He can even go there for afternoon tea, complete with tiny sandwiches, cakes and gf scones and cream! shock Mind you, it wasn't cheap for 5 of us - but then it never is these days.

I gave myself the day off from my diet, given that I almost never go out to eat with the family and I didn't want to be a diet bore. Didn't eat masses, but not good choices. Mozzarella, tomato and pesto toasted ciabatta and salad (although it only had a tiny scrape of pesto) followed by chocolate and hazlenut torte. No tea tonight though and only plain porridge for breakfast.

Poor ski-instructor - but how exciting for your ds to see all the emergency rescue stuff in action.

madwomanintheattic Sun 13-Jan-13 22:45:22

grin yes - and the ski patrol dude told him he'd make a great ski patroller, so he was made up. grin

Glad doggle is feeling a little better, if only briefly... Fingers crossed fr tomorrow.

Lunch sounds great! We went out for brunch and I had some eggs Benedict thing, but t was twitchy, Si don't feel too bad.

Weighed in at 11. 7 1/4 (!)

So I have lost nearly 2 lbs... Not sure hw!!

moosemama Mon 14-Jan-13 12:50:26

There you are then, career path mapped!

No vet appointments today - Wednesday. sad

Added up yesterday's calories as best I could using mfp and it came in at approx 1900, so not totally binge-fest material, but still. blush

Right, weigh in:

Monday 7 January 2013 - 175lbs = 12st 7lbs
Monday 14 January 2013 - 171lb 2oz = 12st 3lbs 2oz

Not too bad considering yesterday's intake.

I have spent the whole morning baking for dd's 4th birthday tomorrow. Am doing a Hello Kitty face shaped cake, plus a big batch of cupcakes with swiss meringue frosting and moulded HK faces on. I've baked all the glutenised ones, and moulded the cupcake toppers, but now need to bake a batch of gf for ds1.

She wants in indoor picnic - again - and I have just realised we have zero picnicy-type food in, so will have to send dh to the supermarket tonight, which won't go down well, as he's really twitchy about money this month. hmm

Haven't wrapped her presents yet either. Eek!

MRI tomorrow afternoon - at school pick up time. hmm Dh has booked the afternoon off to pick dd up from nursery and get the birthday tea stuff ready and we're just doing grandparents and us, so in theory I shouldn't be running round like blue bummed fly, but somehow I still am. confused

TheLightPassenger Mon 14-Jan-13 18:26:37

oh lord sounds like a scary weekend all round,

madwoman, poor DD2, how frightening for her (and you).

moose - sorry your dog is poorly, best wishes for the appointment on Wednesday. Hope that DS's blood tests come back clear. I do wonder if the emla cream makes things worse as it prolongs the whole about to have a blood test scenario - mind you I am lucky that on the rare occasion DS has had bloods done I can take him to the paed phlebotomists, who are v v quick and good.

best wishes for the MRI tomorrow.

TheLightPassenger Mon 14-Jan-13 18:27:04

weigh in 12 stone 10 from 12 stone 12. going in the right direction SLOWLY!

madwomanintheattic Tue 15-Jan-13 02:14:11

It got worse, TLP. Dd2 had the mother of all meltdowns on Sunday night and was hysterical, begging not to have to go to school on Monday. <sigh>

Needless to say, she went, and was fine, but honestly, you would have thought we were trying to persuade her to have her legs cut off. <sigh>

All good tonight though. grin

Thinking of you for tomorrow, moose. Xxxxxxxx

TheLightPassenger Tue 15-Jan-13 17:48:38

poor DD tho, understandable she was shaken up and anxious.

hope you are OK moose x

moosemama Tue 15-Jan-13 18:55:46

Thanks for the well-wishes.

Blimey, what a day. Dd's birthday, out to lunch at her favourite cafe, then rushed her to nursery then off to the city hospital for my MRI, then back home for her party.

MRI dept kept me waiting for an hour after my appointment time. I was nervous, but not awfully, as I knew it was the open scanner. They finally took me in and told me it would be 10 minutes, then left me in a little cubicle next door to the scanner room. The lady in front had some sort of SNs and kept pressing the abort button, so they had to keep restarting her scan. Ended up sitting on my own in my little box for half an hour, listening to the scanner, with it bringing back all the stress of my last scan, which was horrible. By the time they took me in I was red in the face and really nervous.

The open scanner is definitely better than the tunnel, but still pretty claustrophobic, as you are still positioned with your nose almost touching the machine and you can't see out - whereas with the tunnel you have a periscope so you can see the scan operator.

At one point I thought I might have to stop the scan, because I was having such awful twitches and I felt like I was going to have a seizure, but thankfully it didn't happen.

Came out of there with a humdinging headache and lost vision in my right eye (always a sign of trouble) and had to race back across city traffic to get to dd's birthday tea.

Still, a couple of cocodamol later and I am fine, glad it's over and even more convinced I never want to have another mri in my life. grin

Dd has had a lovely day, she loved her Hello Kitty themed tea party/picnic and all her presents - not to mention being the centre of attention all day!

Madwoman - your poor dd. As TLP said, it's understandable that she would be anxious after what happened last week. Glad she was ok when she went in though.

TLP, well done on the weightloss. Perhaps this is going to be our lucky thread, weightloss wise.

moosemama Wed 16-Jan-13 16:20:55

Ds's blood results are back.

Thyroid normal, ESR normal - no sign of virus or infection.

Apparently his creatinine levels were off - not sure in which direction - but the GP didn't think it was anything to be concerned about. Just googled and creatinine is usually low in people with low muscle mass and given that ds has hypotonia, I'd say that probably explains it. It can be an indicator of kidney problems, but he has none of the symptoms (other than exhaustion), so that's reassuring. (Actually one of the more common symptoms in insomnia and he has the opposite of that at the moment.)

So, sounds like there's nothing physically wrong - as predicted. Which backs up our point about the stress he's under as a result of school not supporting him properly and because he's finding the playground/social stuff harder and harder.

Tried to get a follow up appointment for him and they had nothing until 28th January! FFS! angry So I now have to call every day at 8.00 am to try and get him into a cancellation slot.

I was going to book myself a double appointment to go over everything that I have going on, but not much point in trying if appointments are that scarce - especially when you factor in the added component of me needing someone to give me a lift there, so having to co-ordinate with either Mum or dh's diaries. hmm

madwomanintheattic Thu 17-Jan-13 14:35:14

I'd be going the other way and booking it so that it's in the calendar, however far away... Otherwise you just end up in limbo again...

Well done for getting through the MRI. smile

Dd2 is still kinda stressed. Up in the night last night, which is rare, tbh. And I've had a series of emails from school asking fairly interesting questions - apparently she has been talking about homeschooling. grin. And school are worried about whether they are supporting her adequately. Which is kinda nice, but I don't know what to say in response, really. I need to go in and chat again, but it's finding a time. I'm working Sunday, so need to take one day off next week, so will try and fit it in there...

Am knackered. But tomorrow is Friday.

moosemama Thu 17-Jan-13 19:26:15

Poor dd2. Sounds promising that the school are interested in supporting her better, but what a way to go about getting it!

Dh was late home, so ended up missing the vet appointment. I think he really is in denial and I might have to take it out of his hands, although the dog has actually been much brighter this week, so I'm not so desperately concerned for her immediate health as I was. To be honest, I don't think we'd put her through treatment anyway at her age, so as long as she's happy and comfortable, there's probably not much more they'll do. Still want to get her in asap and properly checked out though.

Had a meeting with the head of ASD inclusion today. I was really nervous, as we both know there is nothing more we can do to make the school properly support ds and it's clear that they are barefaced lying to her and the LEA about what is happening and even going as far as covering their backsides with dodgy paperwork. angry BUT it was actually a really good meeting. Turns out she wanted to broach us considering the independent school for ds and was really pleased that we'd already come to the same conclusion re mainstream. LEA officer told dh last week that this lady has the most influence on placement and it's pretty much what she says goes and she said out of all the schools she is aware of, she can really see ds at this particular school and is therefore very happy to support our application.

Also found out the EP has indeed been contacted by the Paed and asked to get involved in ds's case again for support with his school related anxiety and hopefully across transition. No-one had told us the paed had actually made the call as promised, but the EP had emailed the inclusion lady to ask for a meeting to discuss/plan his care.

So, we're basically in the situation of having to accep that the school is never going to support him properly. We could go to LEA to get them to force implementation, but realistically we know this will lead to Judicial Review, by which time he'll be well into transition. So failing that all we can do is haul him through the rest of this school year as best we can and try our best to make sure he is supported emotionally/anxiety wise, either via EP or some other form of psych intervention. Not ideal, but we are at a dead end and we need to focus on getting the next placement right to avoid the same crap happening all over again in a new school.

Diet wise - it's been a disaster this week, between dd's party food lying around calling to me and me being too busy to prepare meals for myself, I have skipped meals and eaten cake instead on far too many occasions. blush

I have a free day tomorrow! shock It's bound to be a school snow day now though - just to make sure I don't get a break. Started snowing at school pick up today and is predicted to continue through the weekend, with temperatures well into the minuses. Apparently we are to get about 20cm, which has the dcs ridiculously excited, although I suspect would seem like a light sprinkling to you! grin

madwomanintheattic Fri 18-Jan-13 00:29:12

Well, as you know, we've had to do a fair amount of writing off of school years here and there, so I think I would be concentrating on the next placement... It sounds like a cop-out, but you have to pick your battles. If you think you can get a make-shift plan in place on the anxiety side that is manageable for ds, then at least you know it's less anxiety than would be caused for you both by continuing to fight/ flounder...

Sounds like a useful meeting anyway.

Ds failed to get himself to climbing tonight. <sigh> apparently the bus driver dropped him off at the old climbing gym, and he didn't know how to get to the new one from there, so he walked home. I'm kinda pleased that he made it home, but less pleased that he didn't remember where the new gym was, as he practically walked past it on the way. So now I have to go down there at pick up time and look like a loon, so that they know he is indeed coming next week. That's the first two he's missed, now.

Am eating pizza. Say no more.

moosemama Fri 18-Jan-13 09:53:11

I think you can be forgiven the pizza. What a week!

I so didn't want it to be Friday today, I'm sure it's supposed to be Saturday by now.

Ds1 and dd were daftly excited about the snow this morning, whilst ds2 was just disappointed it wasn't a snow day. hmm grin

I'm thinking they may close early though, as it's happened before, the snow has really speeded up since school run time and the wind is getting up now as well. We have amber alert for a 'blizzard' here today, which is hilarious compared to the weather conditions in other countries, but has caused mass panic buying leaving no milk or bread in the shops. There was literally a couple of cms on the way to school this morning, absolutely no need to panic buy food fgs. hmm

Our LEA has closed all the special schools and kept the mainstream ones open. I guess that's to let their own transport bods off the hook and possibly because the majority of children won't be local to the schools.

madwomanintheattic Fri 18-Jan-13 14:12:27

Lol at the panic buying. They do know it melts, right? grin

I used to love snow days in the UK. grin. Enjoy it while it lasts!

moosemama Fri 18-Jan-13 14:34:52

Got an email from school saying we could collect from 1.15. Dd goes in at 12.15 and was desperate to attend.

Decided to go up there as usual and we were the only people there! Waited ten minutes with dd upset and insisting she didn't want to go home, then started to walk back and met two other mums and kids on the way. So, we all walked back together and peered through the door. Teacher came out and said no-one else had turned up and they hadn't seen me. We suggested we just leave them there for an hour and then collect early.

Went back at 1.30 to a scene of complete chaos. There was a massive queue to collect kids via the office - bearing in mind there are over 400 children at this school. Nursery said they'd keep dd while I waited for the boys to save her standing in the cold, so stood in the queue for 15 minutes only to be told once I got to the front, that Juniors had to be collected from their normal exit. Got round there to find several other 'Junior Parents' who'd had exactly the same thing happen to them. They could have put a sign up ffs! angry

As predicted ds1 is not happy, they were doing fun stuff as it is Friday afternoon anyway and half the class wasn't there, not to mention he obviously doesn't like the change in routine. So now I have them all home and ds1 and dd (who hardly slept last night and spent much of it in our bed) sniping at each other every two minutes. <sigh>

Snow is lovely though, up to about mid-shin depth now and still going strong. We even saw a snow-plough going up the main road. Ok, it's more snow than we're used to, but still not cause for panic or school closures, imho.

TheLightPassenger Fri 18-Jan-13 15:47:16

a busy week all round! glad that the secondary placement issue seems to be going v well indeed Moose. and positive really that the bloods threw up nothing, as there would be no reason dietwise etc for him to be low in iron etc.

hope that your DD2 feels a little less like homeschooling Madwoman, sounds like her and school are still somewhat shaken...

moosemama Fri 18-Jan-13 17:35:46

How are things with you TLP?

TheLightPassenger Fri 18-Jan-13 19:16:31

feeling tired fat and headachey. DS is a bit more anxious than usual about dark etc, job stuff is Meh, re possible redundancy (recent negative developments today).

moosemama Fri 18-Jan-13 20:52:36

Oh no, I was hoping things would have been resolved on the job front for you by now. sad

Seems a lot of our dcs are very anxious just at the moment. Sorry to hear your ds is struggling too.

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