When shall we three meet again? The not quite NT, not quite weightloss thread ......(840 Posts)
We were full up ladies, so we finally have our very own weightloss-ish thread!
Following on from what we were saying I typed a mahoosive post, but it wouldn't let me add it to the thread as we were up to 1,000 posts! Blimey
I we can talk!
Anyway here is my mahoosive post:
Who knows, maybe Jim Carrey has/had soiling issues too?
I think there have been a lot of incredible, yet highly unusual inviduals that have achieved great things and been dx'd or labelled in the past, yet now more is known, perhaps would be given in different dx today. Leonardo Da Vinci? Einstein? Isaac Newton? Spike Milligan? and all those stars who were determined to do their own thing and not conform like, say James Dean? - the archetypal Rebel without a Cause.
I have been thinking about John Lennon recently as well. A man with an incredible mind and soul, but unable to function within the normal bounds of society. I don't think he fitted the profile for ASD, yet he had all sorts of food/eating issues and apparently suffered with OCD as well. I wonder what dx he would get if he were to be assessed today?
Would it perhaps help to point out people who were/are highly individual and independent, not feeling the need to conform to societal norms, yet still achieving great things and living incredible lives?
We have a family member from my grandfather's generation (his older brother) who was dxd as schizophrenic, but knowing what I do now about him, I'm fairly sure he was actually autistic and not schizophrenic at all. He was actually a very sweet man who lived a very isolated and lonely life because people were scared of the schizophrenia label, so never gave him a chance or tried to get to know him. It makes me now, because I was always terrified of him, yet he never did anything to deserve it. If he were still alive, I would apologise and make a point of getting to know him better.
I don't envy either of you the waiting and going back and forth between possible dxs. We were pretty lucky really, as things moved fairly swiftly once ds had his breakdown, but only because there happened to be a new EP crisis line, which I happened across the number for on the LEA website and then we were lucky enough to be allocated one of the top EPs, who was able to do half the assessment while she worked with him through his crisis. Her work coincided with the assessment centre having a push on reducing the waiting list and because ds had already had a lot of the assessments carried out by the EP and she was willing to do all the questionnaires etc with us, they were able to bring his actual assessment forward, as he only needed a couple of hours, instead of the usual full day to be assessed.
Its an odd thing though. I know ds is autistic, I know he definitely has Aspergers, but I sat here and sobbed all over dh last night after ds1 went to bed and had a total freak out about transition from y4 to 5 and then transition to secondary and then another about an article he'd read about a scary Playstation game. For some reason I had quite a few random memory flashes of him as a baby and toddler - when we were blissfully unaware that he was anything other than 'normal'. I started questioning whether he actually was autistic them and if he wasn't what was the catalyst that changed him. Then came up with a huge list of my failings as a parent that could have caused it and threw in the PND I had after I had ds2 for good measure. Basically I convinced myself that he isn't actually autistic, just damaged - by me.
From there we talked for a couple of hours and slowly started to acknowledge all the early signs and compared him to the other two and I had to go through accepting that I have an autistic child all over again. I don't think it will ever get easier really. I still think back to my lovely easy pfb baby, who attracted people to him as if he was wrapped in a ball of golden energy/light and was loved by all. I remember how easy he was to love and then get a pain in my heart when I think about how, despite knowing I love him soooo much, its so much harder to feel and show that love as much when he is so bloody hard to live with and regularly says and does things that hurt and make me feel he doesn't love me back (which of course I know he does really - too much if anything). It also breaks my heart that he doesn't believe I love him as much as I do the other two and this is a constant source of heartache for both of us.
So, as you can tell - I didn't have that early night last night. Hence the exhaustion today.
Moose, that was beautifully written and it really struck a chord with me, especially finding it hard to share how much you love him.
Ds was a lovely baby, so quiet and easy at first. But in retrospect a bit too quiet and at the wrong times. He'd never cry when he must have been in pain for example. And as he got older would scream with rage when we tried to play with him even.
It's nigh on impossible to get a cuddle unless pre-arranged and even then it can easily turn into something very painful like twisting your neck or sticking his nails into your skin. But even with all that I agree that sometimes you just can't believe it.
You're quite right about labels, especially if they're the wrong ones, but at the moment ds's label on himself is naughty as that's the one his old school gave him. Interestingly one of his great uncles had schizophrenia (or maybe not) and his great grandad was known for his violence too Bit tragic all round really.
On a happier note well done and thank you for the new thread. Anyone curious about this thread and what diet we're all on will be a bit .
thank you for the link! imagine! we needed a new thread!
no wonder you're knackered, moose. sometimes it does rather hit you like a freight train. i can do a whole heap of parental guilt, too. in my head i know ds1's issues are nothing at all to do with dd2 - he was 20mos when she was born and the world turned upside down for a couple of years, but at the same time, you can't help but reason that it must have affected him in some way, however much you try to prevent it. <sigh>
mm, no-one will talk about family history here. my dad's mum spent most of her life in institutions (to the extent that he didn't ever live with her, and was brought up by the housekeeper) and actually we only realised that much much later - we assumed she died in childbirth. so no real idea, really.
lol at anyone popping in for diet tips and reading the first couple of posts though.
jim carrey? john lennon? schizophrenia? autism? what sort of fad is this?
<prepares to repel boarders>
who knows, by the end of this one i might even have lost some weight!
Oh Lamb, he sounds just like ds was as a baby. He never cried, not for a feed or a nappy change or if he was ill or in pain. We thought we had just been lucky enough to get an easy baby. He would also go with anyone and was happy to be left with anyone. He never cried when we left him and I was told that this was because he had a confident, secure attachment with us.
After having ds1, ds2 came as an total shock - not least of all because he arrived complete with a bad case of colic. He screamed for hours every night and at the time we thought it was him that was going to turn out to have a problem. He is actually the most laid back, sweet natured child in the world, happy to fit in with whatever everyone else is doing and ridiculously patient with both his siblings. All it took was a trip to the local osteopath at a few weeks old and he was a changed child literally overnight.
Cuddles with ds1 are an er, interesting experience. He does like a cuddle, but isn't sure how - so its all elbows and knees - not helped by the fact he's so blooming bony as well. He is also a dead weight, despite being tiny, as he doesn't hold his own body up, so you have to hold it up for him. It exhausting actually and it makes me feel awful for even thinking that.
He came over to give me a hug earlier. Ds2 came and cuddled me in response to me telling them that their wrecking the place after I have spent hours cleaning and tidying, makes me feel sad. The cuddle was a copy of his observation of his brother's behaviour - but ended up being more of a throttling which didn't come to a natural end, so I ended up having to try and carefully tell him to let me go - which he of course took as yet another sign that I love and want to cuddle his brother more than him. <<sigh>>
Wasn't sure about the thread title, but decided to just go for it, as am too tired to think of anything else. I imagine a few people will stick their heads round the door and then make a sharp exit - but hey. <<shrugs>>
Welcome to our new home madwoman!
... and we are all going to be super slender stunners by the end of this one!
I'm thinking the 'not quite weightloss' bit of the title might put a few people off - being on the weightloss/slimming board and all!
Well, I have really hit the wall today. My balance is off, fingers are numb (couldn't pick up my vitamin pills of the table this morning) right eye is playing up and even water tastes salty. All signs I've pushed my body too far and need to let myself recover properly before I end up with a full on relapse.
It was only to be expected really, but I was sooo hoping that all the working out, eating well and taking supplements might have given me a better chance of not crashing this time.
It feels so unfair that I can't even manage one night of fun without ending up a wobbly unco-ordinated wreck for a week afterwards.
I rather pathetically sobbed all over dh before he left for work this morning - poor chap.
Oh moose, that's shit . Please just veg out as much as possible for as long as it takes to get well again. How long do these symptoms last for usually? Can I get you anything? ?
I like the thread title btw, it encapsulates what we're about I feel.
Still haven't done any meaningful exercise. I walk up a hill first thing and the lazy bit of me (which is actually me) convinces the rest of me (my ears I think) to have a sit down and a cup of tea. Tch.
I've been seriously considering doing an MA again. I did one for almost a year when ds1 was about 6 - wow 12 years ago then! But had no money and had to move away to get a job. It's been niggling away at the back of my mind ever since, especially as I spend most of my time at home because of ds2. I may aswell do something mentally stimulating. Your dd is still only small but do you have any plans for yourself moose?
How is the MSc going madwoman? Very but also a bit in awe. I'm not sure whether I could hack it anymore. What are you studying?
In ds2 news it seems hopeful that he could be going full time after Easter, at least that's what his teacher has in her mind. Give me more time to
MN read and exercise.
Aw thanks Lamb.
It varies how long this can last. Sometimes it just gets progressively worse, no matter how much I rest. I'm hoping that all my hard work trying to get fit and healthy will help and I will recover faster this time.
I have done almost nothing today. Managed to bung some flapjacks in the oven when dd was napping, as I realised I had nothing for the boys' after school snack and that is the sum total of my achievements for the day. Dh is going to cook the dinner, so I'm off the hook there. I'm simultaenously too exhausted to do anything, yet bored of doing nothing. Some people are never satisfied huh?
Future plans? Well, a while back I was looking into studying dietetics when dd starts Reception year, but then my health went into decline and I shelved the whole idea. Well that and seeing a completely useless NHS dietician, who had apparently learned zilch from her mainstream training and knew less about coeliacs than I did. Briefly considered doing some sort of nutrionist course instead, but know that I wouldn't have what it takes to set up in private practice.
So, now I just don't have a clue really. Dh and I are agreed that I can't really consider going back to work with my dodgy health, as I'd find it impossible to hold down a job with repeated sick leave etc and have been through that particular stressful loop one too many times in the past. We have an embryonic idea for an online business I could run from home, selling dh's design work, possibly on cards and tshirts, but as we seem unable to organise the proverbial 'p-up in a brewery at the moment', I'm not sure whether its very realistic.
I definitely need to start contributing financially to the household - just don't have a clue how - especially after 10 years of being a SAHM.
I also feel the same about needing to do something to exercise the old grey cells. Perhaps I should start with just a small distance learning course on something I'm interested in and see how it goes. I really loved doing my dog behaviour studies back in the late 90's, but haven't done any studying since then.
Other than that - the only big plan I have is to try again learn to drive. I did have a go when I was 21 and was actually driving confidently everywhere in my little green fiesta (Myrtle the Turtle was her name ) with various friends and family sitting with me, but I screwed up the test due to nerves and was so upset I never took it again. We were going to sell our old Picasso when dh got his company car a couple of months back, but it never happened, so dh has just had it MOT'd and the plan is for me to be behind the wheel at the very latest before ds1 starts secondary school in September 2013.
Great news about the plan for your ds to go full time after Easter - I will keep everything crossed for him/you.
I was thinking about the MA before ds's teacher mentioned Easter so now I'm wondering if I should be getting out there earning a crust instead or at the same time at least. I feel a bit guilty even though I've had no choice. I suppose it depends on how well he copes. I haven't worked since the end of 2004 and I don't think I was particularly good at that job so my confidence is rock bottom and I'd need to retrain ..... hmm.
Myrtle the Turtle! Love it! Good luck with the driving, it is scary but gives you so much more freedom. Definitely go for it! Having that as a goal is a really good idea.
Otherwise nutrition/dietetics sounds interesting. You get crap people in all areas so don't be put off by that, you'd be a good one. I'll book myself an early appointment.
You can bake cakes too can't you? Could you do that as a business or would it take the fun away? From what I've seen you're very skilled and creative.
Hello, as an SN board regular (was Total Chaos) your title has "called" to me. Does the not quite NT refer to us or the kids or both .
and yes, my DS was also an incredibly laid back baby. Only really cried at bath time. I didn't understand why my friend didn't want to take her baby with her to the art gallery etc . He didn't really get separation anxiety till he was about 2 ish. Only ever official DX he had was nearly 4 years ago, language delay with subtle social communication difficulties. And since he has been discharged from SALT, as being within "normal" range, Meh, as to where that leaves us. Oh and we have movicol/constipation/overflow etc too.
After seeing ds's dietician, I looked into what I'd actually be taught on a mainstream dietetics course (I was thinking of looking into an NHS bursary) and decided it wasn't for me. Typically NHS really, refusal to even look at alternatives or new research etc - all very old school and rigid.
After binning the dietetic degree idea, I was pondering doing the OU Autism course plus a couple of nutrition ones and getting into the connection between brain/diet/behaviour etc. It all sounds so interesting, but would end up costing huge amounts, rather than actually bringing any money into the household - so not really a goer for that reason as much as anything else.
I have considered a cake decorating business, but my doglets reside under the kitchen table and it would take £££s to get my kitchen up to environmental health standards. I've also developed an impressive line in intentional tremor, which makes fine detail work almost impossible. The photos on my profile are very small and forgiving. I would definitely need to do some proper courses/training if I ever decided to take it up professionally.
Seems like whatever I come up with there are always huge barriers in the way. It could be the universe's way of telling me to get off my backside and make something happen, rather than waiting for something to come up and offer it to myself, I suppose. Although I rather like the old 'synchronicity' idea, that the right thing will come up at the right time and I will just know which path to take. Well .... I can dream.
Why not do the MA to get your confidence in yourself back and then take it from there? That would give you the window to be 'available' just in case things don't go smoothly with ds's transition to full-time. What would your MA be in?
Hello TLP/TC, welcome to our little hideout/enclave on the weightloss board!
Take the title as you will - personally I am pretty sure the 'not quite nt' bit is as appropriate for me as it is for ds1!
Funny how many of our dcs were easy babies ... and then spent the rest of their lives making up for it!
Are you going to stick and round and 'not quite diet' with us or are you just passing through?
Hello The LightPassenger! <quick grab her everyone > Sorry you're in an inbetweeny none state too. It's crap isn't it? It can feel like they just haven't discovered a box for your ds yet. Are you needing to lose some weight too - we do it all here
The MA would be English Literature. I was a Basic Skills and ESOL tutor with some A' Level stuff thrown in - not that you'd know it from my posts . So I really do need an intellectual reboot. Reading everyone else's crap grammar and spelling has taken its toll unfortunately <must read better books>.
You have to see any course you do as an investment moose. It may cost in the short term but long term that will be out weighed by the pay offs, to yourself as a person, as a mother, a wife, and financially. I think the Autism one with nutrition modules <<---- that's my vote
I am hoping to stick around. I have 3 stone to lose. This may be a long term project....
school are suggesting a 2 night residential for year 3 (wibble). am not sure what to do, as hopefully there would be no soiiling issues, and 1 missed dose of movicol shouldn't be a problem, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. jitter.
Lambskin - I think the old Semantic Pragmatic Disorder dx would have fitted best for DS, but hey as the mum what do I know
Moose - if you can afford it, I reckon an ASD based course is a great idea, if nothing else it will be useful in your home life! and given current econ climate, think taking time out to study is a reasonable option, see if things pick up in a few years.
Oh no, I'm going to be paranoid about every post now. My grammar is terrible and punctuation has always been a big problem for me.
I think you should go for it. As you said, it would reboot your intellect and give you back some confidence and I reckon it would be good for you on a more personal level as well, as it would be something for just you and no-one else. I also think it would be a good way of showing potential employers that you are still on the ball and up to date.
I still mull over the Austim/Nutrition study route every now and again, but am wary of becoming totally immersed in SN/Autism, when perhaps I would be better off doing something competely different that gives me something else to think about. Honestly, I talk myself round in ever decreasing circles about all this on a regular basis.
TLP, I have lost almost 4 stone since starting on this thread last June and if I can do it, you can.
Are you planning to follow a specific plan or diet or just do the eat less move more thing?
I've used a combination of logging my calorie intake on My Fitness Pal and regular torture in the form of Jillian Michaels fitness DVDs - 30 Day Shred, Banish Fat Boost Metabolism and the one I have been too scared to try as yet - Ripped in 30.
I've not been seriously dieting since my MS tests set me back health-wise for two months from New Year, but have been maintaining and started getting back into it a couple of weeks ago.
Not doing too well this week though, need to recover from my first weekend away in a looong time.
Well at the beginning of this (well not this obv) thread I was 2 stone heavier at 12 st so you're in the right place. We're each doing something different but try to support one another every day. I for one have definitely found that having a ds with 'something unspecified' but def not NT, has contributed to my weight gain. I deserved a treat unfortunately that 'treat' was wine, crisps, takeaways, and dh portions of pizza and pasta.
My ds has issues with poo too so, yup, I completely get your worries about your ds. When is the residential scheduled for? Is he in yr3 now? Do his teachers know?
oh, lamb, i did MA Eng Lit - took the whole course but didn't ever submit (story of my life, but it was right in the middle of dd2. i got a FIRST, a first i tell ya, for my degree and i was sooooo looking forward to it, but it all came down round my ears). this one is social research (because i'm a nosy biatch) and the qualitative side suits me down to the ground. stats make me want to kill people though, so not all good...
<over-excited waves to TC> look, look, moose, your title worked!!!
i think you absolutely have exactly what it takes to set up as a private nutritionist, moose. and then you can move here (it's very woo and you would have people queueing down the street) and live happy ever after. no-one drives, either, they're far too fit. <except me>
i didn't pass my test for a long time - the raf taught me in the end. my first car sat on the driveway for a year after i passed my test and grew <> green mould on the inside of the windows. i loathed driving. these days i just grit my teeth and get on with it. if i can do it, my lovely, you can.
well, i went to boot camp this morning. was still feeling full of cold and generally crapola, but fought my way through it. went to physio straight afterwards for the arm thing. he's talking needles next time i think. either acupuncture or something called ims that i've never heard of and am afraid to google. am now preparing myself for my post-boot camp crash. of late i seem to feel bloody awful on boot camp afternoons/ evenings. i'm thinking probably bog standard dehydration? what say you?
moose, lovely, you need to affix your butt to the sofa under a blanket. make sure you get a bit of fresh air and some healthy grub, but don't be listening to that jillian for now. she's evil. i'm told tomato juice is great for fixing all sorts of imbalances, so maybe glug a few cartons in addition to your usual supplements and see if you can recover quicker? (i maintain that you still needed the blow-out, even if you take a couple of days to mend - good for your soul to know that your mum can cope with the dcs and that you can take a day off every so often...)
sooooooooooo, TLP. have you got a plan for this 3 stone malarkey? (our last thread was called 2 stone something or other. after 1000 posts and a new thread start, i still have at least 2 stone to come off. i was doing really well and then, um, relaxed over christmas. i'm doing a leetle bit of low-carbing, and upping my exercise. moose has had amazing results with the shred, but we're a bit rollercoaster in these parts. lovely lamb got thrown into the wilderness because she outskinnied everyone. but she's back for maintenance and making sure she doesn't stray into obsessive territiory.
we can't promise results (i suggest you listen to moose and lamb and not me) but we do a nice line in general encouragement and lots of understanding about how hard it is to try and do something for yourself when there are distractions on the child front...
weigh in is fridays. ish. but moose does it a lot. <glares> we have experimented with measurements instead of weigh-ins, but i'm still not brave enough, and have yet to find my tape measure. my jeans feel a bit looser this week though <ponders>...
right, i need caffeine. the post boot camp headache is looming and i have Things To Do. <sigh>
i am toying with the idea of signing up for aquasize a couple of times a week, not on boot camp days. remind me later i need to make a decision!!!
<but, oooo, how exciting! next thread (tee hee) we might need a four in the title!!>
Blimey moose please don't be paranoid about that! Have you read my posts? I always think how well you write actually. I'm better at writing academic essays than gabbing on here honest!
Yes I think I have to do it, I don't want to regret anything and this would be a massive one. But I could say the same about you. You're already an expert, this would be putting a fine edge on it. Think how much good you could do with the knowledge and practical expertise you have with a qualification thrown in. I always respond to, and trust, any professionals who have children with SN more than those who don't. That may be daft but I don't think I'm the only one. DO IT!
god me too Lambskin, food is/was my drug of choice, as am too much of a control freak for drink or drugs!
residential is in 2 months time. teacher should know about the constipation/meds, but won't know about the soiling, as it hasnt happened at school for years, bizarrely.jitter.oh and we have been given 2 days to make our decision, helpfully
re:dieting. my aim is calorie counting 1500 per day, and 5 hours exercise a week I am a wimp and do easier DVDs than evil Jillian. can just about manage the odd Davina.
Moose - I know what you mean about SN taking over your life. I ended up talking about SN stuff at work recently - about dealing with SS/GPs etc - it felt weird, like 2 parts of my life mixing when they don't normally!
oh, i love davina. i do power of three when i'm feeling keen, and moose reminds me to kickbox when i'm mahoosively stressy.
ds1 just went on cub camp last month. he managed the first night, then dh went to help for the second night, so was there to insist on toileting etc. he was fine on the monday, we had paed appt on tuesday and both the paed and i were singing his praises hugely for managing to keep it together (last cub camp he brought home an antire duffel full of faeces and soiled clothing). after the paed appt he came home and soiled continuously for the rest of the week. <sigh> he's seeing a new psych at the mo though, so we'll see. (his official dx is adhd with some social issues, anxieties and phobias... and a leftover handful of sensory stuff. i usually post about dd2 on sn though - athetoid cp)
ds hates it when i discuss the soiling etc with school, but for residentials etc they do have to know. he's a master at avoidance.
Madwoman - get a blooming tapemeasure woman! You absolutely will be losing inches with all that there skiing and bootcamping you've been doing and there's nothing as motivational as seeing the inches go down - not even pounds on the scales.
As for post bootcamp crash - probably a combination of dehydration and not enough calorie intake. You will be working off a huge number of calories with that sort of intensive exercise and need to make sure you are netting enough calories. I have discovered that when I do a big workout, when I check MFP I am sometimes in negative calories.
I tend to boost it with some peanut butter on wholemeal toast, but you would obviously need to find a low carb alternative. What you really need is a big jolt of protein to help you muscles heal and replace the energy you've lost.
You don't need caffeine, that will just dehydrate you even more - you need a mahooosive glass of water .... and some protein.
Dh was moaning last night that I have lost too much weight off my chest. All my bras are way too big now, having gone down from 41" around the fullest part to 36" when I measured at the weekend. My measurements are now 36" 28.5" 39". I started with 41" 34" 42", so not to shabby I suppose.
<switches off kettle>
i suppose mfp might have highlighted that to me if i'd got it together... i had only really considered it to count 'in' rather than 'out'... mmmm.
lol at dh. i bet he wasn't complaining on saturday night, was he?
Feeling left out now - I'm the only one with no Davina dvds, Lamb is another Davina fan. I can feel a trip over to Amazon.co.uk coming on!
I like Jillian because its only 20 minutes a day, but you still get the results. Not sure if I'd manage to get up of my lardy backside if I knew I had to exercise for a whole hour. I do 20 minutes in the week and a longer workout - max 40 minutes at the weekend, usually working out 6 days a week maximum, on a good week that is.
Jillian has brought out a new Kickboxing dvd Madwoman. <<hints loudly>>
Dh has just told me that when ds1 switched on my laptop to do Maths Whizz before school this morning it launched MN (as I am sad enough to have 'threads I'm on' as my homepage). Whilst messing about he accidentally clicked on the MN Homeswap ad and instantly panicked that he'd swapped our house for someone else's. Apparently all the way to school he kept making dh promise that he hadn't swapped the house and we wouldn't have to move. Poor ds, but you gotta . Maybe he'll be a little bit more careful with my laptop from now on!
Well he didn't complain, but then it was hard to see my chest when I was curled up fast asleep on the doormat!
... and after a 40+ minute walk back to the hotel at 3.00 am, we were both snoring practically before our heads hit the pillow!
i know you just got wasted so you wouldn't remember walking home with a bloke wearing silver trousers, really...
how did you know!
Nah. He chickened out and took them off for the walk home (he had a pair of jeans on underneath, so not as shocking as it sounds ). He was worried that other late night boozers might give him a bit of hassle for his sparkly attire.
He needn't have worried, we did not see a single soul for the whole of the walk back. Ledbury people are apparently all early to bed and sound sleepers to boot.
you should try canadians... if it weren't for the tourists all the restaurants would be closed at 8pm...
Woken up feeling all antsy today so I'm desperate for a good workout. Someone's coming round this morning but ds2 is round to his grandparents this afternoon so I'll do it then! Feeling virtuous now
Very impressed at your stats moose, you've made me feel like a sloth with your 6 days while I've been lounging around.
Got my sister's wedding to panic-buff up for on Saturday. Lots to worry about there but mainly around ds as my mum's not even sure he should go
Ah, but Lamb I haven't done a workout since Saturday now. So, like I said - six days a week - on a good week.
I was mulling over trying just one circuit today, but having done housework solidly since 8.00 am this morning and only just sitting down I'm not feeling so keen now. I have a huge food shop delivery arriving sometime in the next hour and a half as well and that always takes me a good hour to put away.
Is it a church wedding? I would think that during the service is the only time he really needs to be still and quiet surely, possibly the speeches as well? Would it be doable if you tag team with dh to take him outside/distract him when things need to be calm and quiet? Depends on the type of wedding I suppose. I think in your position I would buy him something new and interesting to do to keep his attention - does he have a Nintendo Ds or something? A new game should do the trick and sod anyone who pulls a face at him having it with him at a wedding. Either that, or could you let him play some games on your or dh's mobile. My boys always think it's a huge treat to have a go on dad's phone.
Well, I ended up with a migraine and spending the afternoon throwing up, and just crawling out of bed to do essentials. Dh was late home as well, so I had to drive dd2 to ballet and pick her up. We'd had a foot of snow as well, so everything was glaring bright white. I have to get a grip of these days. I'm going to have to start hydrating the night before, I think, and make sure I eat as soon as I get back. Grr.
I think weddings are the one time where everyone should be free to be themselves - as long as the noises aren't overpowering the vows . I've been to weddings where an adult repeated every word that was said from half way down the church (like a really loud echo - it must have been like being married twice, but the guy was so obviously thrilled to be there on their special day), and all manner of sn kids having good natured (and mostly joyful, to be fair) episodes. And babies screaming. I don't think a wedding is complete without at least one baby crying during the service. (I made sure we had several at ours, just to give it a reasonable chance )
If he's going to be upset, or freaked by the service or struggle with the numbers of people, then you have to make your own decision, but is your mum's concern more of a behaviour/scene type thing? If so, I would trust your instincts but try the tag team idea. and my plan is always to sit with an escape route, not in the middle of a pew. .
<small lol at panic-buff though. Have you got a gorgeous frock ready to go?>
Thanks for your ideas guys. I think we'll take it in turns going outside with him. He usually lets us know if it's getting too overwhelming but you never quite know. It's not in a church but in a barn thingy on the moors so nicely isolated for the screaming
My mum's a control freak so is worried about the creating of scenes but I think she's just going to have to be horrified. Luckily Saturday is my drinking day
I have a few dresses to choose from but I may go with an old favourite that now looks immeasurably better since I've lost the weight.
I feel very lucky that I'm so well, reading about you two. I really have no excuse I should be running and squatting and punching all over the place instead of which I am still sat on my arse. Just caught up on Desperate Housewives, my guilty pleasure and was going to read some Paradise Lost to get my brain back in shape. I like to think I'm culturally inclusive.
So what happened about your MA in Literature then madwoman? What went wrong? Genuinely worried now. I know that when I was doing it last time I found myself getting sick of reading academics basically writing for other academics about academics writing about original text <yawn>. I'm hoping that because it's OU that I'm planning on doing it with it'll be more accessible. But maybe I'm just thick and a bit trashy. Oh and congratulations on the First! If I'd got one (instead of a 2:1) I'd introduce myself with a 'hello, I'm Lambskin and I got a first'. I did get one for my dissertation but it got lost in my overall averageness .
If its not a formal church I wouldn't worry to be honest. Even if it was, as madwoman said, there's always some disturbance of one sort of another at weddings. People should be able to relax and enjoy themselves.
Your mum will just have to lump it I'm afraid. Ds has as much right as everyone else to go along and enjoy himself. Just get her tiddled nice and early on and she'll be fine.
it was all a bit of a masterpiece of bad timing, really.
as i'm ex-military, i ended up getting called up for active service half way through, added to the fact that dd2 was really v fragile with about 5 appointments a week and intensive physio and whatnot, plus the two older ones (dd1 was at school, and ds1 had got a place at nursery early becuase of his sister's issues) there just really wasn't enough time for 'me'. you know how it is. <sigh> you should be fine - older kids and not likely to get involved in war-mongering.
i horrified my personal tutor the first time around by doing comparisons of homer with best-selling 20th century stuff. she didn't know where to put herself and we had many lengthy discussions about the canon. my favourite ever ever ever fun factoid is that i managed to get 'suck my dick' into a dissertation about homer. (i used a bit of film (gi jane) to make a few points). there's nowt so dry as ancient greek and all that. gotta liven it up and make your point somehow. i do miss it. <sigh> am vicariously excited for you, though.
lol at getting your mum leathered - not too much, eh?
you don't want her falling asleep on the doormat...
I would love that to happen but sadly her control freakiness extends to not drinking (argh!)
Talking of Homer that reminds me of the time I had to take ds1 to a seminar with me (BA) and the tutor was waffling on about Homer in a reverential way and ds was sitting there sniggering to himself amazed that this stupid woman thought that Homer Simpson was so great. The other students got the joke, the tutor not so much .
No no going to any wars here I hope, way too much of a coward as well as being lazy. Last time it was money for me. I was a single mum on benefits living on a bleak estate having my windows put through most weekends, so the chance to move to a nice(ish) town with a job won out over Anglo-American Literary Studies (still haven't read any Walt Whitman - please don't tell me you think he's ace!). Loving comparing Homer to GI Jane, really should watch that obviously.
i did take a lit of the deep south module along the way, which was grand, but know naff all about ww, so you can impress me with pretty much anything on that score.
I'm never going to live that down am I? Serves me right for fessing-up.
In that case Lamb, buy some Rescue Remedy and put a few drops into whatever soft drink she's drinking. I was sceptical about it, but then found it really worked, despite me not believing it would. It also works on ds1 and even worked on our highly aggressive dog a few years back as well, so there must be something in it.
You are both sounding rather high brow and intellectual now with all this literary stuff. I may have to decamp to the telly addicts board if this keeps up. Not that I'd be any good there either, as I hardly watch any these days.
yes, it's been a long long time since I've done any "proper" literary criticism, (well over and above some blogosphere book reviews).
migraines are the pits, madwoman, am amazed you managed to drive.
re:wedding, well to me weddings are about f-am-al-eeeeeee - so you don't just keep the possibly noisy members out of sight/out of mind!
I somehow managed to miss your migraine there madwoman. You poor thing, migraines are awful. It definitely sounds like you need to be managing your fluid and food intakes a bit better on bootcamp days then. Perhaps you could look into getting some protein powder and having a protein shake soon after exercising?
Mind you, didn't you say your BP was really high last time it was checked? If so, bearing that in mind, I think you should perhaps take advice from your doctor about whether you really should be bootcamping it until your BP is under control.
You are such a good Mum, ballet would have been jettisoned in this house if I'd had to get my dc there and back whilst under the influence of a migraine - you are definitely made of stronger stuff than I am.
fortunately dance is only three minutes away, down a quiet back road on an industrial estate, so as long as i could keep the car on the road i knew it would be okay. it wasn't the most sensible of choices, tbh, i wouldn't have gone at all if it had been anywhere involving actual traffic and junctions.
i am soooooo glad we didn't frighten you off yesterday.
exercise today? i'm still feeling a bit fragile, and have neck stiffness i suspect from physio (and am wondering whether that might have been a trigger as well...) so am trying not to do too much. will walk the dogs later to get some fresh air.
lots more avalanche blasting today. nowehre near as freaked out as last time, i'm guessing it's more common that i thought. just hadn't heard it before so close!! (either that or the little green men are on their way back again!)
mm, i did think about bp yesterday. i keep assuming that the exercise stuff will be helping to lower it. it's all so chicken and egg.
i also <cringes at wreck-like condition of previously fit bod> am now overdue for that re-check of the whole 'hole in the retina' thing from september. i should have gone back in january. and she will take one look and tell me if my bp is still way high, what with all the squiggly eye blood vessels and all. might be less needy than going back to the doc and getting them to check it? i haven't done my lab work for the end of feb as got waylaid by AF, either. feckity feck. right, will make appointments so that it doesn't get ot the end of the 'to do' list again. i'd feel better saying 'optician says to check bp....' rather than 'ooo, i'm such a hypochondriac, could you check....'
A general health check from your GP sounds in order madwoman. Losing weight should help with your bp but you don't want to over exert yourself in the process. Maybe concentrate on the diet side of things with some walking or swimming thrown in to build fitness. Did that book arrive yet btw?
Yeah, ya boo sucks! To miserable people at weddings TLP [blowing a raspberry whilst still looking elegant and mature emoticon]. You've done proper literary criticism? Do you mean paid like?
Moose you know if you try to escape this thread we will only hunt you down, madwoman has military training and I ... um ... well I'll be right behind her!
Done a Davina workout this afternoon which was exhausting but I feel good for having done it. BFBM tomorrow promise.
not yet, but amazon.ca takes an age... tis usually a fortnight or so.
i know you're right about the doc, but my head just says 'well, he'll just tell me what i know already - lose weight, get the stress under control, get some exercise... '
dh thinks boot camp might be a step too far (particularly given the state i was in yesreday) but i want to be able to do it. <sulks> i used to run marathons y'know. and these days i can barely get up the stairs!!! dd2 is 8. 8! it's so easy to get bogged down in everything else and ignore your own blooming health.
<grumble, moan, whinge>
right, i'm actually going to log onto mfp (remembered why i was getting confused - it wasn't mfp i tried before, it was food focus) and track stuff for a couple of weeks. there are only 3 sessions of boot camp left before the long spring break (which is 2.5 weeks long with no classes) so i might chat with the instructor about the headache/ crash thing. that's 4 weeks in total - i could work up to getting back to it then, couldn't i? i don't just want to give up, however fecking awful i feel later on in the day. (am usually fine for about 3 or 4 hours, then start going downhill... no idea if that points to anything? it's def bootcamp days though. am kidding myself to try and chalk it up against anything else) then i could spend 4 weeks doing a lot more but less strenuous exercise? urgh time, time. might have to cut down my mning <ponders>....
I'm backing Lamb here madwoman. I think you need a once over from the GP. <<wags finger>> Sometimes you might need some help to get the BP down, so that you can get on with the exercise etc, as you said yourself, chicken and egg.
There's nothing wrong with working your way back to fitness gradually. I had to start literally walking to the corner and back last May, then up the road, then round the block, the getting dh to drop me at the next village so I could walk back and eventually I was able to walk there and back. Then I walked miles up and down the beach on holiday, before even considering starting the shred - which I also eased myself into and took longer than 30 days to do. You still get there, it just takes a little longer.
Food focus is nowhere near as good as MFP. I tried it a couple of years back but found it a bit of a pita to use. I find MFP much more straightforward to use and have found the community section really good for learning more about nutrition and exercise etc.
i hate it when people talk sense.
it forces me to acknowledge that i am wrong. bah.
will ponder this eve and report back. <huffs>
actually, i know why i'm reticent about getting the doc to confirm what i already know. i'm turning into my bleeding mother. <wails, gnashes teeth etc etc> probably the only thing that can reverse it is being sensible and going slow. but that would be a half way acknowledgement that i am turning into her. she spends her life trading pills with the doc, and everything is hereditary.
<goes off to ponder being sensible>
god no, I didn't mean paid literary criticism, just uni work
Madwoman - tsk, tsk, tsk. Am sure you know full well that have a yearly BP done is not in the bit needy. It's exactly what the doctors are well paid for. Suspect I may be in a similar position re:BP and hereditary conditions. Got persuaded onto BP meds last year for borderline BP. Still not 100% convinced it was the right decision
will ponder the exercise and bootcamp stuff later after school run and work!
Ah I see , thank you for clearing that up TLP, I feel a bit daft now.
Well ds1 is coming home early this afternoon instead of tomorrow for the wedding on Saturday, so it looks like we'll br travelling down earlier than planned as a result. I shall do my weigh in now then ladies if you don't mind because I think I may be a little busy for the next few days.
So today's weight is ..... 10.0.0.
Of course I'm happy about this. It's a loss of 4 ounces (! was really feeling them!) but come on! Will I ever be 9 something? So that's my goal for next Friday. 9 something.
And stop pondering people and get to it!
I've had a terrible day food-wise. Had to take dd to the doctors and succumbed to a Malteser's chocolate bunny at the checkout whilst getting her prescription. Somehow a date and walnut cake also made its way into my basket and having just come back from a ridiculously cold school run, I have just stuffed a huge slice of that as well.
I did have a big salad for lunch - but then it had a rather large dollop of fruit and nut coleslaw on it, that I know contains about a gazillion calories and even more fat (although good fat from nuts).
Think I'm going to have to write this week off.
Just spent a joyous hour and a half at toddler group with a banging headache, then froze in the playground waiting for ds2 and have to go back in 15 minutes and freeze all over again for ds2. <<sigh>>
Enjoy the wedding Lamb and well done on being 10 stone exactly. I think I'll be lucky to be under 11 by the time I weigh in, in fact I'm tempted to not weigh in at all.
moosey - no,no,no, you do not write the week off foodwise for a bit of coleslaw and fruitcake. You can get control back right now!
morning all. well technically it's just after noon here, but hey ho.
e-mailed my bootcamp instructor yesterday and she's pretty certain it's dehydration and not eating enough, so am doing a test run today. i know i need to get my bp checked (i do i do) - tlp, i actually had it checked in august and it was a bit high, but my medical flagged some other random potential kidney stuff that i've been waiting for a consultant to look at - and at the consultant's appt my bp was sky high (last month). it was at least partially to do with stress - they had been sending me helpful leaflets on living with chronic kidney disease . so he said it could probably be ascribed to white coat syndrome, but i do need to keep an eye on it. i've also got random tennis elbow - which is really rsi from typing... and so the physio is trying to keep me on the road. i'm a bit of a wreck... i'm still supposed to be doing monthly lab work as he wants to keep testing my kidneys for the next three months. oh, and i was supposed to go back to the optician in january because she thinks i'm developing a hole in my retina.
so, i had peanut butter on toast for breakfast. (am not going to low carb for a few days until i've worked the migraine thing out) had banana and a drizzle of honey on toast when i got back (early lunch) and am drinking bucketfuls of water. will have a yoghurt with berries mid afternoon, and then a hugio salad with chicken tonight. and keep drinking bucketfuls of water. bootcamp was hard, but i was actually sweating a bit more (tmi). so i probably haven't been drinking anywhere near enough at all. at all. at all.
lovely instructor is adamant i should only work at my own pace, and we're going to discuss it over the next week and see what happens. fingers crossed.
only two more sessions left anyway, then 2.5 week break, so i will def do more but lower intensity over that period. i hear davina calling me.
right. bath. and then i've got to sort out the blooming brownie sleepover tomorrow. <sigh>
lamb - wooooooo! next week for 9 something, for sure. have a lovely wedding! (did you pick up some rescue remedy for your mum? )
moose - you will be fine. i bet you've lost another pound or so when you weigh in tomorrow.
tlp - what meds did they put you on? it's almost inevitable that i'll end up on them at some point. how high was your bp when they persuaded you? (sorry, v nosy).
oh, oh, oh. and ds1 is grounded for life. he missed the school bus this morning because he was begging to be allowed to take his ipod to school. the absolute rule is that if he is ready at 8, he can take it. at 8.10 he came downstairs (he has to leave then or he misses the bus at 8.14) without having brished his teeth, and started begging for it. i said no, and he then sat down and refused to move. i was v calm, and told him that he was on no account going to take the ipod, and in additiona, if he didn't get up and get to the bus on time, he would lose the ipod for the week and be grounded. he carried on sitting. (and glowering).
he did apologise when i dropped him off, but he has to be able to grasp that he can't just have wahtever he wants, when he wants it, without doing the basics. the basics are killing me, though.
fingers crossed it will be easier tomorrow.
I guess the easy unscientific test for dehydration is whether you are ahem weeing as often as normal? well done for having the motivation for boot camp, tis beyond me
I know bog all about the kidney side of things, have had bloods done a few times for U & E, but they have always come back normal, hope they can rule out kidney probs with you. One of the possible ace inhibitor med side effects is kidney problems, so U & E need monitoring (so I am taking bp meds to reduce bp to reduce risk of kidney problems, but the meds increase risk of kidney problems ). I succumbed after a few years of hovering just over normal bp, and having a 24 hr bp coming out at about 145/92, or some such. GP sold it to me as providing protection against heart problems..
definitely peeing today. and no headache so far. <touches wood>
hmm. mine was higher than that at last appt. <sigh> i know it would average out over the 24 hr though. do you feel different? <bizarre question time >
have signed up to mfp. muuuuuuch easier than food focus.
am 39 cals over for today (or i will be after dinner), but not too bothered. at least i can see what's going on.
Most people seem to reckon that being within 100 kcals either side is ok, as long as you aren't majorly over on your macro nutrients as well. Depends how strict you want to be really.
Have a browse of the community forum - I don't post there, but have learned a lot from lurking.
Oh - and good to hear you're peeing!
No, I feel no different since starting the meds. Have had the odd bit of slight giddiness/dizziness that might be due to low BP when standing up etc, or might be unrelated. So possibly slightly worse (am really selling the meds idea to you, I can tell!)
Didn't weigh in this morning I'm afraid. Been feeling proper pants and curled up under a blanket on the sofa all day. Only got dressed to fetch the boys this afternoon, then came straight back and put my pjs back on.
I must look bad, because one of the mums I rarely speak to at the school asked me if I was alright, because I looked really pale and poorly.
Dh tried to get the afternoon off so I could go back to bed, but arrived at work to find out he was the only manager in. There should have been another one there, but he called dh on the way to work to say he wasn't coming in.
lol tlp .
ugh, moose. what a pain. look after yourself x
so, i think today is where i start talking numbers and what with the whole mfp thing going, i might get that darned tapemeasure.
today i am 11.13. this is only 3 pounds lighter than when we started the original thread, (and i had lost it and put the lot back on again over christmas) so on the whole, i am pleased that i am losing again. i am particularly pleased that i have not gone back over 12 stone. i actually think that using mfp i might be able to track food better and see what's happening. should have done it ages ago! <sigh> but better late than never.
dd2's parent's interview this am. they are focusing on her abilitiy to organise hereself etc etc. she has a lot of difficulties with just accessing her papers and dealing with filing/ the desk/ getting stuff out, putting in her bag etc. she writes short stuff, but uses the net book for longer written work, and the teacher was talking around how it can be simplified. mostly she relies on remembering stuff rather than writing it in her agenda, because to write it all out is more laborious. i've suggested she e-mail herself her homework instead. the phsyio and ot are coming in on firday to review the desk/ chair situation (last time dd2 threw a hissy and essentially was really resistant to any change because she wanted to be like everyone else) and this time they are going to do it out of the classroom, rather than setting her up as the show of the day . and i'm going in as well. i know what's worked before in previous schools.
so anyway, on the way out, i said to dd2 'so, is this your desk?' (completley covered in piles of books/ papers - half of them partially crumpled because of her fine motor. it was a disaster.)
and. and. and. then i realised.
bearing in mind that she's a lefty with considerable difficulties with gross and fine motor due to the brain damage that compromises her right hand side - sitting to the right of a right handed boy. <facepalm> i don't think i managed to keep the sheer horror off my face, but i made a bit of a joke about it - asking if she and x spent all day elbowing each other, and if he went home covered in bruises every day (she has some v odd and wide movements). to be fair to the teacher, she looked fairly horrified herself. it obviously hadn't occurred to her at all.
i mean this is basic basic stuff, and we had just spent half an hour discussing the minutiae of dealing with her own bag and books/ equipment, and she hadn't even realised that leftylou with brain damage and all sorts of motor issues was effectively penned in, in the only direction she can move. we had discussed her having a box on the floor to put her things in, instead of using the desk drawer, for ease. i pointed out that in the current position a box on the floor would be worse than useless, becuase she couldn't access it with her right hand. ffs.
god, sorry. i'm blethering. but sheesh. she spluttered a bit about self advocacy, but dd2 is 8. with cp. ffs.
all else good and she is really keen for dd2 to finish her book about having cp, and is talking publishing etc, but i honeslty don't know whether to laugh or cry, really.
and it's Brownie Sleepover day. blee.
that was long, sorry.
are you weighing in today, tlp?
<remembers it's a weight loss thread, not a personal moan thread>
Madwoman, I can't believe they penned your dd in like that. It's bad enough for left-handed, uncoordinated ds1 and I've had to go in this year and point out that whilst they had it right in class following advice from the ASD Inclusion Team (top of table, so not sitting alongside anyone) in his handwriting group of all places, they had him sitting to the right - not only of a right hander - but of the boy who bulled him incessantly for the first 5 years he was at the school.
It really is quite amazing how monumentally wrong they can get things sometimes. - usual excuse "well we do have 29/30 other children to think about as well you know" or "he should have told us".
Would having some sort of diary software on her laptop help with remembering things at all? I'm going to look into this for ds1 if we manage to get a laptop for him.
The other kids in ds's class are jealous of his wobble cushion and want one themselves. Not so good when they keep nicking it to play with though.
... and this isn't a weightloss thread, its a 'not-quite nt, not quite weightloss thread' therefore personal moans are not only allowed - but required.
Hope you find using MFP as useful as I have. I haven't been logging this week and I've really noticed the difference. When I'm logging I find it easier to be good, because I don't want to see my dieting failures in black and white - let alone be told the calorie/fat etc consequences. I found weighing everything a pita to begin with, but now I just tend to keep my scales on the worktop, with a clean bowl on top ready to bung in whatever I'm eating.
ds1 let the air out of his wobble cushion accidentally when he was fiddling/ zoned out in class one day. the teacher saw him do it, then saw him zonk smack back to reality as he sank to earth she said it was really interesting, and decided to wait and see what he would do about it. (answer - absolutely nothing - way too much confrontation. he put it on the shelf at the end of the class and didn't go near it for three days until she approached him.)
handwriting group it would be funny if it weren't so blooming sad, honestly.
and now I'm really pissed. because my completely unreliable 'helper' has e-mailed me to say she isn't well and can't make tonight. not that i hadn't worked out it was a distinct possibility and planned accordingly, but ffs.
oh drat. Is this a volunteer helper for Brownies that let you down?
Sorry the school were so naff today. Self-advocacy FFS. Sounds like the review of desk situation by OT etc is much needed!
weighed myself yesterday, 13 stone 1.
Yep. My tawny owl . I never know if she's going to turn up or not, even for regular meetings. <sigh> she's brilliant when she's there.
What pisses me off the most is that she went on the Pathfinder sleepover... I only know this because dd1 is a Pathfinder, she didn't mention it herself at all. And I only know because dd2 mentioned a song, and dd1 said, 'oh, x taught us that at camp!' She works with the Pathfinder leader, so I guess just got invited along. <sigh> No problem with that, but it's really irritating she can put herself out for her friend from work, but not attend events run by her own group. Weird.
Have you got a target weight in mind? I'm an utter shrimp at 5'2", so need to be well below 10 stone. Probably closer to nine and a half, but i'd settle for below ten.
The diary stuff would be good, moose, but because of the whole network thing she doesn't bring the laptop home. So it would have to be web based. The other option is to use the dreaded iPod touch... (that was the other issue with the school work. None of it is actually being checked at all, as it's never printed out. She brought home her folio, which was essentially just the short written (unreadable) stuff. So it looks like she's done nothing for six months. the new plan is that she prints everything....
I'm a shrimp too at 5ft 3, but am aiming for 10stone (unambitious)
devilish awkward with volunteers, as I guess she could flounce off in a huff if you were too firm with her about the need for reliability etc.
Sorry for being absent over the weekend. I've been a bit rough. Feeling quite a bit better this morning though, which is good because we have the LEA Secondary Transition Information Evening to attend tonight.
I did manage to weigh-in yesterday and found I am back up to 152.7 lbs (10 st 12 lbs 7 oz). So not too bad, considering I ate loads of rubbish last week. Even found myself raiding ds2's lunch box choccy biscuits.
Hope the wedding went well Lamb and the sleepover Madwoman.
I'm hoping to ease back into exercise and clean up my act diet wise this week. Best laid plans ......
Glad you are feeling a bit better, Moose. It does usually take around a week for you to recover from an episode, so right on target. reasonable news on the weight, too, and you'll be back on it now you are feeling a bit more together!
Sleepover was ok, far less stressful than anticipated. No-one cried, got sick, or had to go home, so a raging success, really. my parent helper was a superstar (she's a teacher, and she comes in and does badge testing for us, so I knew she would be great, anyway). We did have one small hiccup as we had forgotten it was one Brownies birthday on Saturday, so had to send the pathfinders out to search for cake and candles at 8 on Saturday morning . We recovered it well though, although now I can barely move as I'm 41 and slept on the floor. <wail>
Dd2 was knackered for her last ski lesson as a result, but got dressed up as a Viking (so cute with her long blonde plaits) and battled through. It did lead to a funny moment when she was struggling to get on a chairlift, and the instructor couldn't work out what the problem was, until a lady waiting in the lift line behind shouted 'she's sitting on her axe!'
Yesterday was science fair-tastic, with dd1 working on her project all day like a Trojan, and Ds fighting and wailing and complaining about his. Dd2 spent the day working on her book about CP. I'm faintly petrified about dd1's project. she's worked so hard on it, and one of the local organisations that have helped her have contacted the local paper to come and take pictures of her and her work, so I'm hoping it isn't a big flop! this week I need to try and find a model of a Canadian Pacific Railway locomotive and grain hopper for her... <sigh> and some sand to replicate grain... It makes book day look like a picnic.
Today is appointment day. Dd1 has orthodontist and mentors, dd2 has her fitting for her orthotics in the city, so all go. No time for exercise, my butt will be attached to the car seat all day... Going to take the Brownies for a hike tonight though. Am hoping it snows.....
Have a successful day, everyone. <step away from the choice biccies>
Yes thank you moose, the wedding was beautiful . Possibly the best I've ever been to. There was laughter and so much warmth, and I was in floods of tears all day! My mum was wonderful and gave an amazing speech, I was so proud of her <sob!> and my sister was absolutely stunning <tears and snot mingling in an attractive drip>.
I ate quite a bit and drank perhaps more than my fair share but there we are , I did dance for hours so maybe cancelled out the food and booze?
Ds2 was a superstar all day. When the disco started he curled up on the dance floor with his hands over his head and begged to be allowed to leave! So dh and I took it in turns to check on him and party.
Had a takeaway Indian meal last night so all in all not too hopeful about that 9 stone something. Don't care. I had a great time and really needed the food to soak up the hangover.
Glad you're feeling better moose but don't over do it and have a relapse x.
Did you all have a good Mother's Day? I didn't even get a card although dh made sure his mother got one from him and one from ds2 . Not letting that one go I can tell you!
Choice?? Choccie. I'd already corrected the autocorrect from bicycles to biccies... What sort of foreign typing machine doesn't recognise Choccie biccies?? choice bicycles, my ass.
Oh, lamb. X post. That sounds lovely!! So pleased that Ds was able to cope (and your mum too!)
It isn't mother's day here yet, which means I am now in deep disgrace for not sending stuff back to the uk....
Lamb, I am so glad that you had a great weekend and ds was ok. Forget the food and booze - that's what celebrations are for.
I had an odd Mother's Day. Dh got all three dcs to make me a card while I had a lie in. Ds1 had done a lovely drawing of me walking my lurcher - and he never draws, so that's really special. Dd did one of me with an awesome blue mohican and ds2 did a single yellow daisy with a big bright sun at the top. I had gifts too. Ds1 gave me my favourite L'Occitane shower gel, ds2 some new workout trousers and matching top and dd a single big red, shiny button (apparently she chose it herself and insisted dh bought it - she bought my mum a pack of purple buttons as well ) and a teddy wearing a sun hat and holding a heart - which of course she really wanted herself.
Didn't do anything special. Popped to my Mum's to drop off her card and present and stopped for a coffee, then back home where dh cooked a lovely veggie roast dinner. I pointed out there had been a distinct lack of chocolate for a celebratory day, so he went the the co-op and bought me a bar of Lindor and a chocolate brownie pudding. I ate both and then felt extremely ill. Bleugh!
I have probably done too much today, but the house was in dire need after a week of me being 'off sick'. Have cleaned and vac'd the boys' room and our room, washed and changed all the beds, cleaned the bathroom, kitchen and living room and vac'd through downstairs.
Just let the dogs out and our old lady managed to jump on the corner of a loose piece of decking and seems to have rendered herself lame. Shew wouldn't let me touch it much, but seemed like she was walking a little better a few minutes ago, so am keeping everything crossed its just bruised and not something to line the pockets of the local vets. Never in my wildest dreams all those years ago, did I realise how useful my canine first aid certificate was going to be.
Oh yes of course, though by the sounds of it you deserve some pampering. Science fair sounds like a nightmare! Well done with the sleepover, god you must be exhausted. I get a bad back from a slightly too firm mattress so to sleeping on the floor <41 too>
Just got my Mother's day present from ds1 in the post - microwaveable slippers! How genius is that! He's got the measure of me! Feeling every one of those 41 years now
I keep x posting with everyone, I'm so slow!
Lol at microwaveable slippers! I could do with some of those, I always seem to have cold feet these days - old age catching up with me I guess.
Well, we went to the LEA's SEN secondary transition information evening last night. What a waste of everybody's time. They split us into two groups, SA+ and Statemented and we had two talks. Dh and I had to split up and attend one each, as obviously we don't know yet whether or not he will get a statement. They then proceeded to tell the SA+ group that they have no additional support and no different system for secondary applications than those not on the SEN register, they aren't entitled to transport and basically they needn't have bothered going to the information evening - despite having been told that they should and it was important.
Statementing wasn't much better, they 'cannot' advise on which schools are best for which disabilities or even suggest which school it would be an idea to visit and consider. To find out if we can even apply for transport we have to go on a website and that was about it for information.
I did approach parent partnership to ask if they are able to help with tribunals if ds doesn't get a statement, only to be told that they can't help much because its too time consuming and paper heavy. Also they don't advise lodging an appeal straight away, but to wait until after mediation because that way the appeal doesn't register badly on the LEA's figures! That explains why the figures for numbers of people appealing against being turned down in our LEA appeared low on the stats. Apparently if you appeal, then withdraw when a settlement is reached, it still goes on their figures, but if you go to mediation then its not counted as appealing against a negative decision. Basically its a way of them massaging the figures to make it look like they don't turn down too many statements as a matter of course. <<wonders how high the figures for being turned down are in reality>>
She did say we could fill in the paperwork, take it with us to mediation and tell the LA that if we didn't come out of there with an agreement to statement, we would be posting it on the way home. Which I suppose might work. She also said that low funding unit statements (like ds1's would be) are cheaper to fund than going to tribunal, so you actual have a stronger hand in that case, because they'd rather pay out the 2,450 for a single unit than the £££s it would cost them to go to tribunal.
I also found out that there are only two statementing officers for the whole borough - both being part-time, two days a week - so not even a full time post. In fact parent partnership outnumber them already and they are recruiting another full time member of staff!
I suppose some of that information was useful - but I could have got it from a quick phonecall to them if/when we are turned down.
Back on track with my eating this week and hoping to try a small workout later today, still very tired, but much better than last week.
Moose, it is so dispiriting. I've got a meeting with the SENCo on Thursday about statementing for ds and part of me feels like giving up before I've even started, based on the way things have been thus far. All you can do is keep plugging away and be stubborn. I'm planning on being a massive pita .
I did a Davina workout today. I find them comforting. BFBM is great but a bit full on if I'm not in the right mood. I really like the kick boxing ones but some others ....
Wearing the slippers and loving them!!
Well, my Mum rang and said she wanted to take me and dd out. We haven't got out much since she had her operation at the start of the year, so I said yes. We went for a mooch about in John Lewis then had lunch in the cafe. Ended up eating a mahoosive Morroccan Salad then a slice of carrot cake. No so good for someone who stated at 10.00 am this morning that she was back on track with her eating.
Feeling exhausted and shaky now as well, so won't be working out this afternoon.
Oh well, tomorrow's a new day and all that. <sigh>
Good luck for your meeting on Thursday. I hear you about feeling like giving up before you start, but we can't and we won't because fundamentally we have no choice.
I'm going to speak to ds1's teacher after school today about why they pulled all his additional support the week all the SA reports went into the LEA. If we get turned down, I will go straight to the LEA and tell them that the school trumped up support in an attempt to undermine my statementing application. Given what the parent partnership woman said last night, hopefully that will be enough to get them to reconsider and issue a statement without going to tribunal, should we be turned down.
Good on you moose, that's exactly the fighting spirit required. Unbelievable that it is needed though. I caught a segment of R4 at lunch time when I went to pick up ds, and it was about exclusion. A mother had phoned in to make the point that children with SEN and boys from Afro-Caribbean backgrounds are disproportionately excluded from school. No surprise there for parents of either or both groups, but shocking that despite anti-discrimination laws schools are still so - what is it? Lazy? Narrow minded? Ignorant? It's individuals that make up a school and a society, and you get out what you put in in terms of both.
Food-wise, your lunch with your mum sounds delicious and much needed. It was a treat for you both, food should be nourishing for the soul as well as the body and you deserve a treat. It's how mums show love anyway . Just balance it out with a lighter evening meal.
Ds2 had an awful morning but I won't dwell on it, just more of the same old story. Refusing to do work, destroying said work so that he can't do it, hitting anyone who disagrees with him or tries to get him to do anything he doesn't want to. Had to take him to The Range on the way home to buy some cards and he was being such a pain the woman at the checkout told him off .
Actually feel like I won't want to eat again today. I'm stuffed!
Sorry to hear your ds is having a bad day. Hope things improve this afternoon.
Spoke to ds1's teacher. She told me they stopped the SEAL group to give him a break because he was doing so well. Right yeah! He is apparently still having handwriting once a week, but isn't attending the maths group because they're now covering stuff he can do easily already. I'm not really buying it, but am not going to kick up a stink just yet - not until I know where we are re statementing. Roll on next Monday.
We haven't had an IEP review this term either - I'm thinking they're holding fire for the statementing deadline for that as well.
I've been reading a lot about exclusions this week. Apparently some big bod and several HTs admitted illegally excluding children with SENs. They've blatantly admitted it, yet still nothing will change.
I've just bought a size 10 dress . I've been umming and ahhing about this for a while now. My measurements come up as 10 on loads of clothing store websites now but I think I'm still in denial if that makes any sense. I still can't believe that it's possible. I always was a 10 before dh and ds2 crashed (wonderfully) into my life on a wave of wine and take-aways but that feels like someone else now. Well it's time I got back to thinking thin I think. I saw today that to maintain my current weight I have to consume around 2,300 calories which seems loads after mfp. I'll carry on with my 'relax at the weekend, be careful during the week' thing as it seems to be working and feels healthy.
Sorry, that was very shallow and self indulgent
Size 10! Fantastic, well done! You have to start believing in yourself y'know, you have worked really hard for this and deserve your gorgeous new figure.
... and not at all shallow and self-indulgent - we all need to hear from people who have got to where we want to be. Its motivating, plus we want to celebrate your success with you.
Re sizing in sdifferent shops. Try this website Lamb. It works out what size you are in a tonne of high street and online shops based on your basic measurements.
I had the same trouble believing I was a 12 and to be honest I still feel my thighs are a too chunky for a 12 in a lot of shops, which of course the standard measurements don't take into account.
I'm now terrified to click on that link, moose, as I'm not sure I want to know what uk size I am. I'm anywhere between a medium and an xl here, which doesn't help. And I wear either size 10 or 12 trousers. Which makes it either a 12 or 14 in the uk in my head (but this is in 'fat wimmin' stores, I'm pretty certain I'm a 16 in reality.)
Anyway, just got back from boot camp, and lovely ups have delivered my amazon order, so I'm going to run a bath and have a look! Yay!
Dd2's draft statement was woolly and a bit pants. I rewrote it, and e-mailed it to the officer, and then called him to talk through it. He agreed to everything. All of my changes. Just added them in and sent it back as the final statement. I couldn't quite believe it. So sometimes I think they are happy for you to just do the work for them, don't lose heart. It could all be easy peasy. Grr at school, though, moose. Hopefully the statement will kick start everything again.
Is Ds tired, lamb? Nearly the Easter hols? Hope he settled down once he was at home. Sometimes just getting into your own space and relaxing can help.
Right, off for a soak. X
Its the same here though. I can be a 10 in some shops - unbelievable as that might be and yet a 14 is still snug in others. Its so frustrating. That's what prompted the woman who put together the site on my link to set up a universal size calculator thing to help people work out what they might be in each shop. I read an article by a standard size 12 uk model who put it to the test though and she said, as its based on the shops own published size guides, some of them are still way out. I suppose its trial and error really, but I loathe clothes shopping and detest changing rooms, so I'll carry on wearing my old clothes and looking like a bag woman for now instead.
We have been warned that our LEA deliberately produces crappy non-specified, unquantified statements. IPSEA reported them to whoever the bods were in Government at the time that were supposed to regulate that sort of thing. They then instructed our LEA to investigate themselves and of course they found no case to answer. So, basically they can do what they like and there's no-one to stop them. IPSEA are still asking for people to come forward with examples of poorly quantified/specified statements from our LEA, as despite being told the government won't do anything about the situation, they are still gathering evidence.
Well, I decided to cook everyone's favourite cheesy vegetable pie for tea (the one that dh managed to drop on the floor last time before he and I had eaten any ). I honestly think that dish must be fated though. Dd is coming down with something, so while I was sweating the leeks, onion and mushrooms I decided to try and take her temperature. Well let's just say she was a tad non-compliant and all of a sudden I realised I could smell burning.
So .... after redoing the first stage of the pie and finally getting it in the oven, I realised I had a stack of defrosted gf pastry left over. So, thinks I, I know, I'll make some jam tarts with it, that'll please the dcs. Unfortunately, my grip not being all that good at the moment, two seconds after getting out a jar of jam and a jar of lemon curd, I dropped the lot on the floor - which is quarry tiled. I cannot believe how far the shards of glass went, especially considering they were both full jars, so you'd think the glass would have stuck to the jam.
So that's it - I am never making that pie ever again no matter how much they love it. Actually, dd told me it was disgusting and refused to eat it anyway - but she's three so her opinion does count, especially as she told me it was her favourite favourite last time I made it. Harrumph!
at the fateful pie, and at the lea. You never know though. I was expecting far more of a battle than I ended up with.
<and lol at dd. sounds like ds1and he's waaaaaaay past 3> <sigh>
You could be right madwoman and I was pleasantly suprised that the agreed to assess on our first application - so I will try to stay positive and keep everything crossed.
Three is such a lovely age don'tcha think? I never had half this amount trouble with either of my boys. Dd is determined to make up for it though .... in every possible way!
Thanks for that link moose, though I have to say I'm non the wiser! I go from an 8(!) to a 12 which is just ridiculous. I may have to print it off before I next go shopping
I did the whole of BFBM yesterday! <<proud>> I did have to keep stopping for a wheeze and a sit down but I got through it nonetheless
Hope everyone's ok, I have weighed myself rather cheekily today (9.13.2) so I'm in a good mood despite the looming SENCo meeting and parents' evening
9st 13! Lamb you are putting me to shame. Well done!
Well done for getting through BFBM as well.
When's your meeting and Parents' Evening?
I am struggling to get back into things. Dd has a stinking cold, so I've had no sleep for a few nights now and feel really bleugh as a result. Have once again given into ds2's lunch box snacks, through sheer exhaustion I think.
I 'm still stressy and anxious about the statement deadline and on top of that there's been some stuff with ds1 at school. He had a falling out with another boy in his class, after they bumped into each other and fell over during a playground game. Ds1 was injured, so went to find a teacher and then got accused of telling tales, but with a little help from his best friend they managed to make friends and clear up the misunderstanding. Unfortunately, the other boys on the other lad's team were already gunning for ds by then and starting rumour mongering and bitching - saying things like 'he is well weird' and 'he's got mental problems'.
Coudn't get to see his teacher yesterday morning, so wrote a note in his feelings diary on the parent contact page, explaining that this kind of disablist language and attitude is not acceptable and needs nipping in the bud and that ds1 was very upset about it all.
Went to pick him up and another parent - fortunately the only one I like and have a good opinion of, came to ask what was going on, because her ds (who was on the other team) had approached her the evening before wanted to know what ds's problem was, as he is obviously not right. She had questioned him about why he was asking but he just said 'never mind' and walked off. Now this particular parent knows about ds1's dx and I have been helping her navigate the SEN system for her youngest dd, but she has never mentioned ds1 to her ds or spoken about him in front of him.
Went up to fetch ds1 and his teacher pointedly told me she'd shown my note to the Head - but didn't say it in such a way that was a good thing, iyswim. I said that there were some national campaigns about raising awareness about the use of disablist language and reducing disablist intimidation and hate and felt it was something I could not allow to pass without comment, as its something I feel very strongly about. She said that kids use the word mental all the time and that the way it was reported to her was that it wasn't directed at anyone in particular. I explained that it very much was directed at/about ds1 and they hadn't said it in a 'you're mental' jokey kind of a way - which would still be unacceptable - but had referred to him as obviously having 'mental problems' which is not the same thing and puts a different slant on the situation. It implies a level of awareness and association between SNs and ds that hasn't previously come from his peer group. I also pointed out that the phrase 'has mental problems' is very adult and is therefore likely to have come directly from a parent in the first instance and then been repeated by the child.
I then told her about the other parent approaching me in the playground and basically she implied that she didn't believe me and said that if the other parent has concerns they should approach either the Head or herself personally and then they might consider doing something about it. The problem with this is that the other parent is very shy and lacking in confidence and I know they've noted me speaking to her in the playground regularly at around the same time as she started pushing to get support for her dd (which btw they are shamelessly refusing despite obvious need ). So, it's unlike she would go and speak to them anyway and if she did, they would probably assume I've told her what to say.
The teacher just kept restating that that wasn't what had been reported to her, so I stood my ground and kept restating that it was what had been reported to me, by my own child and another parent in the playground. So basically we reached a bit of an impasse. (Ds has had the bitching reported to him word for word by two different children as well, so there's plenty of people to back up his story.) She wouldn't/didn't agree to do anything other than address appropriate words/language via the PHSE lessons and it seems they are hoping to gloss over the fact that ds's disability is now something some of his peers are not only aware of, but are likely to use as a weapon. I came away furious and haven't calmed down even now.
Not sure where to go from here. Some of the boys involved were the ones who bullied him for years and this has the potential to blow up if its not stopped before it starts. I know the Head will refuse to see me and his teacher (who is also an Assistant Head) isn't going to address the issue. Thought about emailing his ASD Teacher and asking her advice, as she was the first person to read my note yesterday morning and was also the one that gave it to his teacher to read - but she won't have the full story.
Sorry, this has turned into a proper garbled rant. I have been dreading the day the other kids start becoming aware enough of his disability to start using it against him and now its here I feel impotent to do anything about it and can see it snowballing quickly without anyone doing a thing to stop it.
No, you're right moose, this needs to be nipped in the bud and dealt with immediately. The school, or at least the class teacher, could use this for positive education about ASD. It does sound as though they have been wrongly and partially informed by someone and this has to be addressed before ignorance snowballs into a sort of deformed truth about people with ASD or SNs generally. I'd be angry too. In fact I am angry for you.
In other but related news, I had the meeting with the SENCo and I came away just gobsmacked at the difference between this school and the last. She is so proactive and all guns blazing on behalf of ds, I was quite stunned. She was horrified at the lack of paperwork for him from the last place but has managed, and is managing to gather enough to make it a watertight application for a statement. She's arranged for another Specialist Teacher observation and 3 more visits from the EP plus a load of other stuff. I couldn't have asked for more.
In such strong contrast to my experiences at the last school and your experiences recently. Why can't this attitude be across the board? What benefit is there to be so obstructive and negative?
Thanks Lamb, sometimes I find it hard to know whether its just me - y'know.
So glad the meeting with the SENCO went well. I was a bit the same when our new SENCO was taken on, because the last one was at best lazy and at worst negligent - this one is so sharp and really pro the children she supporting. Its an odd feeling when someone finally not only gets it, but also cares and wants to do their best for your child isn't it.
Great news that she thinks they'll have enough for a really sound SA request, not to mention all the extra stuff and of course the more they do before SA the more likely he is to get the statement, as it will prove they've thought of/tried everything but he needs more.
As for why they are so obstructive and negative - half of it is down to a lack of caring and effort by the people involved and the rest is usually down to funding - or the lack of it. Everyone is so busy trying to protect their damn budgets that they forget there is a struggling child in the middle of all this.
Oh, moose, that all sounds spectacularly rough. How's Ds today? V brave of you to do the right thing and go in. I did it once before when dd2 was dd2 was being called <first name> 'dribble'. She was coming home in tears every day. I went in and the staff were pretty good about it, but we later found out that the boy who was doing it was actually saying something else (he had delayed speech) and actually he was saying <first name> <another kid's surname that sounded a bit like dribble> because he had got them mixed up.... Absolutely not the same as your case, but it has made me a bit reluctant to go in now. Fortunately we haven't had too much, and so far she can play on being cute and blonde which fends off a lot of things. It won't last, I know.
Hope Ds is ok.
Good news on the senco, lamb (and the weigh in). People can be so different, I'm always amazed.
Well, it's going to be one of those days. I logged on to check my e-mails and have one from the solicitor dealing with dd2's med neg case. They have appointed a new independent advisor (neuro) but he wants all of her medical notes from 2007 to date, covering three teams of specialists and two countries. <sigh> oh, and the second MRI stuff stuff from way back when (not sure why they don't have this already. I thought they did.) all scanned and e-mailed back.
<hollow laugh> cos that's not going to take freaking days to do, is it?
So then I sent my 'yes I will attending boot camp' email. (we confirm so that she can get the right number of bikes out etc) and not ten minutes afterwards, dd2 was spectacularly sick, burst into tears, and announced she wasn't going to school. So I had to send another one saying, 'er, no. I won't be there...' I must look like a total flake.
And I've got a meeting tonight and need to finish the financial report and, and, and. I can't wait for next week. It's spring break! Two weeks off everything! we're still toying about whether to pop back to the uk for mil's 70th. Oh, oh, and dh got a job offer yesterday, which he is accepting, so will be handing in his resignation today.
All go here. Two more days, two more days. Then I can have a lie in.
<fingers crossed dd2 doesn't spend the day throwing up. I think she just triggered her gag reflex brushing her teeth... But I won't know for a couple of hours!!>
Just been to collect ds2 and check ds1 has his inhaler for cricket club. Ds1's teacher came down to ds2's end of the playground to find me - never a good thing.
Apparently on top of everything else they switched his morning around today, made him play rounders in a team without either his best friend or one of his 'ish' friends and then this afternoon he found out that his trainee teacher is leaving.
She said "rude isn't the right word, but his reaction to the rounders was non-compliance/refusal and what you could describe as very rude". Well yes, it would be wouldn't it - he has Asperger's ffs! Apparently he did join-in in the end and was ok-ish once he was involved. Then this afternoon his teacher went back into the class when he was doing his feelings diary with the trainee and found him with tears streaming down his face, really upset because she's leaving - she's leaving today and they didn't think to forewarn him. He was really upset, bless him, but said he didn't want to let the other cricket club members down so would go anyway.
I was just on my way to check he had his inhaler when she caught up with me and right at the end of our conversation she said - oh yes, he said "Mummy will probably come and check on me before cricket, so that will make me feel better" - but of course it was too late by then. I legged it round the corner, but he was sitting squatted in the line with his back to us looking really dejected.
So, its anyone's guess what state he'll be in by the time I pick him up.
Why can they not add up what happened yesterday with what he's been through today and see its all connected? She said she understood that changing his morning around with no warning would be a problem because of coping with change, but still didn't seem to understand that he couldn't help coming across as rude. I did tell her that his default setting when panic sets in abrupt and it will come across as rude, but that he really can't help and doesn't mean it. Apparently she told him she was pleased that he joined in eventually, but wasn't happy with his rude behaviour beforehand. She's also completely failed to factor in him being upset at the rumours and comments that were made about him yesterday.
Madwoman, you are having a crazy time of it at the moment. How on earth are you going to get all that lot scanned in and emailed? <<faints at the thought after memory of scanning evidence for ds1's SA request>>
Sorry dd isn't well, will keep everything crossed that it was the gag reflex and she's not sick again.
Congratulations to your dh on his new job!
We have two more weeks to go and I'm not sure we're going to get through it unscathed - ds1 is already 'out there' and he has a school trip to contend with next week on top of everything else.
Oh golly. Can you just plan for everything to be zero stress tonight? Take his Ds with you to pick him up and plug him in straight away?
Imagine, a kid with aspergers coming across rude! <loon>
At least she remembered to tell you what he said about cricket, even though it was too late, and only in time to give you a huge guilt complex...
The teacher leaving thing is stunning. When will they learn?! Might be worth mentioning to the outreach team?
Hopefully you've nothing out of the ordinary tonight and can try and even him out again. Fat chance after the day he's had. Dd2 takes weeks to get over staff leaving. She just randomly bursts into tears at in opportune moments.
I'm going to ignore the scanning today I think. And tomorrow is the meeting with the physio and ot in school (she had better not be sick again!) and then science fair at the other school. And then physio in the afternoon, so she'll have to wait until next week when there's nothing else on...
Keep focused on that holiday madwoman, nearly there! And congratulations Mr madwoman!
So sorry moose, hope ds is ok when you go and get him , stupid, stupid people. There's an awful lot of just not thinking isn't there? I always had that with ds2 'he's been very rude and oppositional', me:'well yes he would'
Parents' evening in a bit. I already know from the SENCo that there's a massive discrepancy between his reading age (10) and his comprehension (6) but that should help with the SA.
Well, he's home. Arrived early to watch his match only to find him spinning and flapping at the outer edge of the field. He completely failed to notice the ball coming in his direction twice in as many minutes.
At the end he just started wandering aimlessly across the field, so I had to go and fetch him and wrap him up in a big hug, where he promptly burst into tears.
I did manage to raise a little smile by approaching his best friend's mum to ask if he can come for the afternoon on ds's brithday and I had forgotten that the Lego Club magazine arrived this morning, so that also buoyed him a little. Have given him some of his favourite mint humbugs in lieu of his after cricket snack as well.
Apparently the teacher is leaving tomorrow not this afternoon, so we have more upset to come. He says he's dreading tomorrow and I'd suggest he stays home, but I already know he'll say he wants to go in.
Lamb, 'oppositional' and 'defiant' were what we had constantly from his teacher last year. The thing is - what the hell do they want you say when they tell you how your child has behaved. You explain to them why they reacted that way and that its normal for a child with AS to respond in that manner and they look at you like you should do something about it.
I aways feel like they are waiting for me to come up with some incredible solution that I just don't have, so the conversation always kind of tails off rather than having a proper end/outcome.
In the end last year I found myself telling her that ds1 didn't come with an instruction manual and as he had only been dxd in January of that school year I didn't really have all the answers - yet!
Good luck with parents' evening - hopefully it will go really well, as it sounds like this school is on the ball.
Madwoman, you are going to be so ready for that holiday after this week. My life seems stagnant by comparison - I hardly leave the house except for school runs.
Moose - your poor lad, sorry he has had such a tough week, imagine you are looking forward to school hols now. Had a bit of "moment" earlier this year, when one of the older lads who was going to the social skills group was surprised that DS wasn't . To be fair I was also surprised! Otherwise this year seems to be going quite well. It's difficult tho, that people don't, or don't want to see, that our kids apparent rudeness is because they are out of their depth - either with language or sensory issues.
I've finally got him into bed, but have been up and down umpteen times already and he's lying there quietly sobbing his little heart out insisting that he won't sleep at all tonight and going on past performance, he's probably right. We've talked and talked, but I just don't know what else to say to help him.
Typically dh is out tonight. He never goes out with his mates, but has gone to see a folk singer with a friend he hasn't been able to see in a long time. He wasn't home for lunch either, so I've been on my own all day.
I'm not coping well with all this on top of PMT. I have been binge eating - 2 rocky bars, 1 penguin about 10 chocolate fingers, a packet of white chocolate snowies (choc buttons with hundreds and thousands) and a huge plate of oven chips.
It seems when the pressures on I haven't really managed to overcome old coping strategies and forge new healthier ones.
Tomorrow is another day - you can't be a saint 24/7.
Can you suggest he goes and lies in bed with you, or will that freak him out even more? (might keep you away from the choccies, too ) or just let him read his magazine again? Sometimes if sleep isn't going to happen it makes it worse to try and force it. Distraction might give him a bit of respite from the agony?
And those snowy things are revolting, lady. You must be desperate. <weak smile>
Is dh around in the morning to give you a hand with the fall out?
Lol, yes madwoman, I was desperate. We only have them in because I bought a few bags when dd was potty training (she loves them) and we still have a couple of bags left. I didn't actually finish the packet, they were the thing that put a stop to the bingeing. I feel sooooo sick now and my stomach feels all stretched and sore. Bleugh!
I daren't go back upstairs now, as it all seem quiet (I can hear them all through dd's baby monitor) and I'd hate to wake him if he's actually gone off. He's certainly exhausted enough. If he wakes when I go to bed I'll have to go and lie with him, he won't want to come in with me, he's never really been one for coming into our bed.
Dh will be here in the morning - but he's about as much use as a chocolate teapot in these sorts of situations unfortunately. At least he can get the other two fed and sorted while I handle ds1 though.
How's dd doing? Was she sick again - or was it just a one off gag reflex thing after all?
Gag reflex. She's been bouncing around and came out with me this afternoon to a quick meeting, and played squeaky chicken chasing with the guy's dog for an hour... much to the delight of the dog, and bemusement of the owner. I think he was quite relieved when we left...
Still, at least it means she'll be back at school tomorrow for the physio .
Ds has come home from school and gone straight to his bedroom to work on his science fair project.
Without being asked.
I might need a lie down.
Hope you have a quiet night x
Oo, I forgot to say earlier - I got all confused and weighed myself as I thought it was Friday, and I've lost half a pound. so I'm not going to tempt fate and weigh tomorrow... Just in case
And dh emailed and said he got rear-ended by a truck in the city, so has been on the phone to the insurers all afternoon. <sigh> not too much damage, but will need new bumper, paint job and possibly some light fittings. No idea if he's actually resigned or not now, and whether he'll have put it off until tomorrow as too much excitement for one day.
Well that's a relief then - at least she wasn't coming down with some horrible virus just in time for spring break and she will be in school for her appointment.
Well done on another half pound lost. Its all going in the right direction for you and Lamb and the opposite direction for me. Not sure I'm going to weigh in tomorrow either after all my sins today.
Sorry to hear about the car - what a pita, but at least dh was ok and it was only a minor bump. Our camper needs about £1500 spent on it before our summer holiday. I have absolutely no idea how we are going to fund that, but it won't pass its MOT without it.
I'm sitting here watching lowest common denominator tv while I wait for dh to come home. 'Don't Tell the Bride" - its oddly addictive. If he's not back in half an hour I'm giving up and going to bed.
Moose, don't get too down about caving and having a binge. I had a Chinese last night and a whole bottle of wine. Parents' Evening was as we expected but was still bloody depressing and when we got back ds2 was bouncing off the walls and beating his grandad up! We do need to come up with a different release valve I agree, but don't think that you are the only one. It's just a minor glitch in a much bigger picture.
Well done on the 1/2 pound madwoman! Glad your dd is ok. @ her playing squeaky chicken, I have no idea what that is but it sounds fun. Does it involve an actual squeaky chicken?
How old is your ds TLP? Fingers crossed everything remains settled for him .
Lamb - he's just turned 8. Am already panicking about high school , especially without any real DX. The high school he is most likely to go to does seem to have a good rep for SN, and had SALT going in regularly so hopefully that bodes well.
Moose - hope you both got some sleep. Get back on the diet wagon today, we all have our moments, tis a marathon not a sprint after all.
Madwoman - OH NO re:crash. Glad dh is ok. And ain't it typical, calling it wrong and her being absolutely fine. DS used to posset until well into reception year for no apparent reason (v pukey/silent reflux as a baby), so once or twice he was kept off for similar reasons!
Thanks Lamb. Sorry parents' evening was depressing. I know exactly what you mean though, even when you already know the score, its so hard to sit there and be told all your dc's shortcomings, while everyone else is discussing progress and strengths etc. PEs for ds1 and ds2 couldn't be more different - such a contrast between the two it breaks my heart.
I think working out was my release valve while I was forging ahead last year - but I simply don't have the energy at the moment and haven't worked out since the party now. Dh keeps telling me to just get stuck back into it, so we've had a few rows this week because he just doesn't get that its not a choice not to exercise, I'd much rather be working out and gaining strength than feeling like this.
Ds1 has gone off to school this morning after many, many tears and much wailing. Not helped by the fact that I've put the blank cards somewhere and forgotten where, so he couldn't write one for the teacher that's leaving. Dh went and spoke to the teacher he has today and said if he works himself up into a state, she shouldn't try and struggle through the day with him, just call and I'll go straight down and pick him up. I know he's going to spend the entire day in tears. Unfortunately the teacher he has on Fridays is lovely (she has a child with very mild AS herself) but she's too soft/sympathetic with him and kind of feeds his upset, iykwim.
I did brave a weigh-in this morning, as I thought it might shock me out of my bingeing, but am not going to log it because its so dire! 156lbs, so I am over 11 stone again. Only to be expected, but it didn't do much for my mood.
well my weight in is 13 stone 0, if that's any consolation! seriously, it must suck to have physical limitations stopping you exercising, rather than simpler motivation issues, I'm not sure of your medical ins and outs but get the gist that since you had medical tests earlier in the year, you've felt a lot worse. Try and remember the yucky snowy thing eating feeling, as I know this sounds mad, but it can help as a deterrent to future overeating.
I hope that DS makes it through the day reasonably OK. I take it nice teacher veers too far the other side of jollying/distracting?
You've lost a pound, tlp! Well done!
Fingers crossed for Ds today, moose. X I know what you mean about too soft. We had to ask nursery to vary the 1-1 for dd2 as she just did everything for her, and I was forced to point out that the point of a 1-1 was to support where necessary and encourage independence where it was possible... Sometimes people are so lovely, but they don't see the bigger picture. Dd2 always takes it v badly when support staff leave. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to peel her away sobbing uncontrollably, and leave the poor staff member weeping as well... The first few times it was pretty horrific. These days I just go for the dive and peel and have to be very matter of fact. She cries herself out and then it's just bouts for a while. No easy way to do it, but prolonging the agony just makes it worse. Hope you don't have to collect him, but if you do, at least you know it's for the best. X
Well done on the pound loss TLP.
Tests were for MS. Currently have a working dx of 'probably MS' and will earn my stripes for a full MS dx, only if/when I am good enough to have another 'serious neurological relapse'. Yes, the tests knocked me about a lot. I was doing so well, having worked steadily on improving my health and fitness since May last year, so am slightly p'd off to have been set back by a load of medical tests that didn't prove or disprove anything anyway.
Ds1's nice teacher just tends to let him do whatever he wants all day on a Friday and if he gets upset tends to be a bit too sympathetic, which just winds him up even more. She means well.
He was in bits when I went to fetch him and the trainee teacher came out with him, but looked so out of her depth and frankly a bit terrified. I gave him a bid old hug and thanked her for looking after him etc, then scooped everyone up and got home asap. They'd managed to make everything worse by changing the timetable, again, to fit in a blooming leaving party for her - complete with sweets and party games. She was only there for a few weeks - four I think - six max.
All 3 ds are under a big black cloud this afternoon - along with their mum! Even ds2 is rock-bottom and he's usually my cheerful chap. I walked home with ds1 sobbing on one side, ds2 complaining loudly on the other and a poorly dd wailing and whining in the pushchair. Since then its been a constant stream of squabbles and telling tales etc. <<sigh>> <<considers running away and letting them all just get on with it>>
Fortunately the boys have gone upstairs for their Nintendo DS time now, so things are a bit calmer.
I had a huge row with dh at lunchtime on top of everything else. Stoooopid male had the audacity to suggest that what is wrong with me is simply hormonal. Yes, there is a degree of PMT involved, but there's also a completely shitty week, a sick 3 year old, distressed 9 year old and no escape route to add into the mix.
Hope you are all having a better day than I am.
thanks for the admiration for my solitary pound . Bit of a surreal day. Having my blood pressure taken evolved into a full check up and smear test (grim). BP is 136/86. So about 5 lower than when I started taking the meds. So you can see Madwoman why I wonder if it was worth it! Then DS (who was meant to be helping with a stall for Sports Relief event) was wandering aimlessly on the playing field at school chatting to his friend, so I had to sort him out and keep an eye on him and drum up trade for "Drench the Teacher". I kid you not.
Moose - sorry you had a to do with you H on top of the grim day and yesterday with your DH. And sorry that going through the tests didn't get you very much further, must be v disconcerting to feel you have to wait for a relapse to get an official diagnosis,
Just seen your post about the lack of guidance re:SN and ms schools. God that takes me back a few years, the only time I called the inclusion services for help (he was supposedly on their caseload) I got told - all schools take kids with all types of SN, so we can't recommend anything. And we can't help you until your child has seen the paed and been referred to pre-school panel. Which given school applications deadline was in Nov, and paed appointment was the following May was ahem somewhat unhelpful.
I would love to have lost a pound TLP - although I absolutely don't deserve it.
I can think of a few teachers I'd love to nominate for "Drench the Teacher"!
I kind of relate the wait until you have a serious relapse and then we'll dx you with them waiting until our dcs fail before even considering starting to give them the right support - its all too little too late really isn't it.
After ds was really unable to cope with something as simple as a short-term trainee teacher leaving yesterday I found myself looking again at one of the local Special Schools and wondering if I should be considering it. If he can't handle this, how the hell is he ever going to manage at MS secondary. This SS does follow curriculum and they do do some GCSEs, plus have a 6th Form, but there is still a main emphasis on life-skills. I found myself wondering whether I am kidding myself and he actually does need the type of life-skill training etc that they do. They have about 30% ASD pupils, including some with Asperger's and he would get transport - but their intake is moderate learning difficulties and ds is 'I think' classed as ASD with no LDs, so I don't even think he'd get a place without a huge fight.
Other than that, there are only two school in the running - the local academy, which is very pushy academically and was the school to get your dc into prior to becoming an academy last year. He wants to go there if his best friend ends up going and also wants to go there because most of his peers from primary will automatically go there. Several 'professionals' have made comments like 'that school is very pushy academically you know' and 'there will be a lot of pressure on him if he goes there' etc but refused to discuss it any further than that, which kind of implies they don't think it would be right for him.
The other is a Drama/Arts College with a Language and Communication Skills ARC that he wouldn't get into, as his language skills are too good. Apparently the ARC mainly takes children with severe dyslexia. They do have a rep for being very good with SEN pupils in the main school though and I now know of three boys with ASD who have gone there and loved it. Downsides are, its 0.1 of a mile off him getting transport and although I plan to learn to drive my neuro stuff might mess up my chances of being able to drive him there and back every day. None of his friends will be going there, so its an even scarier prospect for him and not an option he's keen on.
Fundamentally, ds sees himself as nt and just wants to do the same as all the other children in his year and go onto the local catchment secondary/academy.
I really don't have a clue what to do and there's no-one to ask for advice.
sounds like the profs know more than they are letting on about the academy if they are even willing to drop hints against it . agree with your reasoning about the arts/drama college. take it the journey wouldn't be feasible on bus/train. I think it would be useful for you to go and see the SS, even if it's just to confirm it wouldn't be right for him. Is there any NAS branch locally you could try and get a bit of the gossip from?
Have you been to visit the ss moose? It might be worth doing that, so you can at least formulate an opinion on whether you can see him there...
I wonder if the arts college would work? Don't forget if he gets a statement <roll on Monday> then that might make him eligible for transport anyway?
To get him to the Arts/Drama College would be a bus into town and another one out or a three mile walk!
Not had any involvement with the NAS locally. There is a local ASD support group that is supposed to be very good and we might get some goss from, but for some reason every time they have a meeting we have something else on - despite the fact we never seem to do anything. There were a few members of the group at the transition meeting earlier this week though and they were decidedly cliquey, which has made me somewhat nervous about going along.
The problem with the academy thing is that ds's inclusion teacher and our SENCO have both said they know of and have helped a couple of boys who are similar to ds in need with transition to the academy and they are doing very well. I actually know one of the boys by sight, as he was at our school until the year before last and has a younger brother currently in year 6, but I don't know his mum to speak to.
Its all so blooming confusing. <<head explodes>>
So, physio and ot in school today. Both asked if I had been a therapist in a former life as I knew so much about their jobs <in a nice way, lol>. Er, no, I just have an 8 yo with cp. none of this stuff is exactly new to me... It's just no-one pays me to know about it. <sigh>
Anyway, think they've solved the desk/chair thing forthe rest of this year anyway, although I suspect dd2 is going to freak when they put it in the classroom and she sees how much smaller it is than everyone else's dangly leg chairs etc. hey ho.
And science fair today, thank feck, because it's been doing my head in. O. Ver. Over. Over.
Physio for me this afternoon though, and then I can come home, put the kettle on, and within an hour they'll all come on from thus and it will be Two Weeks Off. And boy, do I need it. . Moose, I think you should do the same.
Am lol-ing at drench the teacher. It must be a lot warmer where you are!!! They would end up as icicles here at the mo! hmm at the bp.makes a bit of a mockery of the 'cure'...
I haven't visited anywhere yet. I was waiting so I could have a discussion based on him having a statement - rather than 'we're hoping he will have a statement'. I think I will ring them and ask if its worth us visiting - if they definitively won't take kids that don't have any specified LDs then there would be no point anyway. I'm also a bit concerned about how ds would handle the idea of going there - he identifies so strongly with his nt peers and doesn't think of himself as different or disabled, which is a bit of a double edged sword really. He really just wants to be just like all the other lads in his year.
According to the transport bod at the transition meeting - he wouldn't qualify if it was under 3 miles walking distance according to their online calculator - and whaddyaknow - its 2.9 miles. We could appeal and then go to panel if the appeal fails, but by then of course if we lose we'll have to find a way to get him there ourselves regardless as that's where he'll have a place.
The academy is just under a mile's walk, actually on my old weightloss walking route. In fact I broke my foot right outside there the year before last while trying to get fit. I ended up stuck on the wall outside the school at 7.00 am on a Sunday morning while I desperately tried to wake either dh or my Mum to come and take me to A&E. Its also on dh's way to work, so he could easily do drop off in the mornings, which he couldn't at the other school, as the roads around there get badly gridlocked (3 secondaries crammed into one small area).
Glad the ot and physio thing went well madwoman. Hope dd doesn't take her seating arrangements too badly.
Funny how these professionals are always so shocked at how much we know about our only children and what they need.
I would love to put the kettle on and have an hour's peace. Unfortunately dd seems to be dropping her nap and a couple of days in a row I've barely had time for my bum to hit a chair before she's calling to get up again. I neeeed that hour every afternoon for my own sanity. <<prays its just because dd's nose is bunged up that she's not sleeping well>>
That's kind of what I mean, though - I'm pretty sure that if you visit the ss you'll conclude that it sin't the right place - but it might stop you fretting about the possibility? At least one ruled out?
Good point. Thank you.
I'm so stressed about it all, I don't think I'm thinking all that rationally about it.
I panic a bit at the - um are you a doctor/health professional comments - as I then start thinking OMG are they going to think I am Munchausens Mama. I agree with madwoman btw - I would be very surprised if you thought SS was the way forward, but it's worth clarifying that in your mind. If he went to the academy and things went tits up, would he be able to transfer to the arts college a year or so down the line, do you think? It's a difficult one to call, as sometimes a more old-fashioned, structured approach might benefit kids on the spectrum more than modern group work/course work type approaches.
Actually TLP I was wondering about that. The academy is strict, very rules led and doesn't stand for any messing about. I actually think that would suit ds better than somewhere too touchy feely. He needs strong boundaries and feels most comfortable knowing what the rules are.
I also wonder how well suited a boy who is totally into computers and science etc would be to an Arts and Drama College.
I just wish he didn't have to go at all. None of them is a good fit. All we can hope for really is the best fit out of our options.
Your ds wants to go to the Academy moose, it's got the boundaries he needs and likes, his friends are going there .... I know it's scary thinking of all the things that could go wrong but there seem to be more negatives attached to the other two options. Wherever he goes there will be times when he can't cope for one reason or another, but he is bright and associates with being nt, he might start to feel more negatively about what his capabilities and future are if he is associating with less able children than himself.
Maybe a trip with him to all of these schools to have a look so that he feels involved in the choice and so he can picture all possible and available futures open to him would allay his anxieties at the moment. Could you contact the SENCo for the Academy?
I don't think I've explained myself very well, sorry! Been up twice in the night with one thing and another so I'm a bit fuzzy.
No Lamb, I think you put that v well, that it's important to take into account what Moose's DS wants, and that it may ease the transition to be at the school he prefers, with some familiar friendly faces.
Lamb, not fuzzy at all - you've pretty much described my gut feelings there.
Realised this morning that if he doesn't go to the academy I will have 3 children in 3 different schools in a couple of years time, which has to be a logistical nightmare.
I am going to arrange to visit all three schools without him first, as he can't even bear to think about it all yet and gets very distressed when he does. Once I've scoped them out a bit I'll take him to visit the front runners. No point in taking him to the SS if there is zero chance of him going there.
Well, I have very odd thing going on here. My little toe started to really hurt yesterday afternoon and gradually got worse and worse until I couldn't walk on that foot or bear for it to be touched. Checked it at bedtime and it was bright red with a swollen joint. I can't remember for the life of me stubbing or knocking it at all, but going on past experience of the pain of broken toes - I think it may be broken. Hardly slept last night because I couldn't bear the duvet to touch it.
Not going to bother going to A&E though, don't think they do much for cracked little toes anyway and I'd rather they didn't poke it, wiggle it and then send me home with a packet of paracetamol.
am entirely familiar with the three children in different settings scenario...
dd1 was actually in a different county lol...
can def recommend taking this into account!!!
it's not gout is it? (can't remember for the life of me ever hearing of a vegetarian with gout, but do have a couple friends that suffer in random circs - ie no particular lifestyle rationale...)
agree that doing it solo (and if poss without telling him) would be sensible. but then involve him thoroughly.
poor wee chap, what a time he's having.
can definitely see that you wouldn't want to brave A & E of a sunny weekend, but maybe see the GP if it continues on Monday, in case it is gout or something of a rheumatological persuasion, as you dont remember injuring it?
Funny you should say that madwoman. Gout crossed my mind as well, but I don't think it its that.
I've just googled and the symptoms do sound similar, but I've now traced back what happened yesterday and have a vague memory of tripping over dd's wooden fire engine in the living room early afternoon. Then I decided because it was sunny I would wear a pair of cheap ballet flats on the school run, instead of my usual boots or MBTs. It was actually pretty sore walking there and back, so I'm wondering if I hurt it tripping up and then made it worse wearing a pair of crappy unsupportive shoes with such a flimsy sole. I have very flat feet so don't usually wear ballet style shoes as I'm quite heavy footed when walking.
Its still pretty painful and I can't get my foot into any of my shoes - not even my <<whispers and looks shifty>> crocs, which are really big and loose on me.
Being stuck on the sofa today has been quiet handy actually, because I've managed to sort through several boxes of junk and send masses of stuff to the tip and charity shops. I've also reorganised all the dcs craft stuff and finally got it all to fit into one big toolbox rather than several boxes and bags. So at least the day hasn't been wasted and we are a couple of steps closer to decorating dd's bedroom, which is where all the junk was being stored. It looks almost like a bedroom now!
Dh has sorted out the understairs cupboard as well this afternoon and made room for the remaining things that were in dd's room, like empty suitcases and the airbed.
So, all being well, we're hoping to finish shifting out anything that shouldn't be in there tomorrow and then dh is planning to start putting the lining paper up in the evenings this week.
Ds1 is happy today because his beloved cousin popped in for a quick visit and he hasn't seen him for ages. They had a huge lightsaber battle in the back-garden with dd, ds2 and the dogs and it was lovely to see them all running round outside in the sunshine. Ds1 even used a cardboard wrapping paper tube for a lightsaber - which he absolutely refuses to do when he's playing with just ds2.
Cross posted TLP.
Think my slow memory has finally managed to crank itself up long enough to suss out what's happened to my toe.
Of course I could be kidding myself and the trip might have nothing to do with the poorly toe.
Damn my useless swiss cheese brain.
cross posted! well I guess it's sort of reassuring that you remember hurting it, but still sounds rather unpleasant and inconvenient. glad you have had a nicer Saturday.
oh, that sounds possible.
lol at the crocs. from may to october i wear el naturalista clogs. i wouldn't be seen dead in crocs (plastic shoes give me the heebie jeebies) but am quite happy with my naice practially identical leather version.
guess what i did this morning?
booked flights back to the uk for 9 days next week for mil's 70th birthday party.
i am ridiculously excited. we haven't been back for three years. i am imagining daffodils and bluebells and the odd crocus. <as well as the traffic jams> please don't disabuse me if it's going to be blowing a hoolie and pissing down for the entire week.
I only wear my
fake crocs in the house and garden. I find they're the only slipper-type footwear that actually gives my feet some arch support. They are rather fetching purple tie-dye ones actually. I think mine were probably just a tad cheaper than naturalista clogs at 2.99 a pair.
I'm very excited for you booking your flights. Your MIL will be over the moon to have you all there for her party.
I think the weather's supposed to be really nice next week - metcheck is saying 16-17 degrees and it was hotter than that both yesterday and today. We have loads of luvveryly daffs around at the moment and the crocuses are just popping their heads up on my drive as well. (Bit of a sensitive topic that though, seeing as it was supposed to have been block paved before Christmas so for the first winter ever I wouldn't constantly have mud traipsed through the house. Yes dh and evil step-mum/trustee/landlady, I'm looking at you! )
oh that's fab you are on a flying trip back to UK. And yes, there are lots of crocuses, spring genuinely has set in. This weekend the weather is lovely, probably up to 20 degree C, fingers crossed this continues once you have landed Madwoman.
Re:crocs. I am a hopeless case. I wear crocs as much of the year as I can get away with. I have recently discussed arcopedico shoes cheap at TK Maxx, and have 2 pairs (must by more), I am seriously into comfort footwear
Oo, I like those green and orange ones....
V excited about weather
Imagine getting excited by uk weather... I do feel ....
Dh wondered if we should surprise her just by turning up on the doorstep. I pointed out that she was turning 70, and however über-fit she is, it might not be a great surprise to put her in the hospital in time for her birthday...
We fly on Friday - I've sorted the dogs into a kennel that claims to be a 5 bone hotel, which dh initially refused on the grounds it was advertised by a chihuahua in a pink tiara, but I want to try it as it looks more homely than the vet boarding we usually use. Black lab is a bit of a flower, and likes his home comforts. He's always really off colour if we leave him, anyway, and this place looks like they are a bit more, um, dog centred. (they look like loons, tbh, and seem to specialise in handbag sized dogs, but I think it will be better than the traditional kennels). Dh says if they put ribbons on their earsear come back with nail varnish on, we are going to refuse to pay. it's definitely that sort of place... But they go on trail walks every day, and they get a complimentary bath and spa if they stay over 5 days (hahaha) so they will be looked after.
The nail varnish is organic, anyway...
That dog hotel sounds awesome madwoman! We looked at a boutique dog hotel for our guys, very posh and they totally spoil the dogs, but in the end decided they were too far away for us to use. That one even had a doggie swimming pool for daily use - complete with poolside loungers!
Had to laugh at organic nailpolish. Have visions of your guys coming home with nail varnish, tiaras and diamonte collars!
The lady that runs our kennels is a bit of a loon too, but in a good way. She is totally dog centred and really strict with the kennel staff on standards of care. She always tries to feed-up lurcherboy, because she can't stand to see skinny dogs. Poor thing is barrel shaped when he comes home - not a good look on a lurcher really. He also spends the first few days he's home farting like a trooper, so lord knows what she feeds him on top of his normal rations.
I used to use them back in the 90s when I had my first ever dog and was so relieved to find they are still there, but with super upgraded facilities. The dogs were in there for 4 weeks over the period when I was heavily pregnant with dd and ds2 was busy nearly dying from pneumonia. God bless dh's great aunt for offering to organise and pay for that. They then went back in for a fortnight after dd was born - again courtesy of great aunt. I normally hate them going in for even a night, but they loved it and it now means they are so used to the place its like a second home really.
The kennel staff all love lurcherboy, but can't wait to get rid of old lady dog. She gets so excited that she barks constantly while she's there, although she pretty much never barks at home, whereas lurcherboy is a right so and so for running up the garden to bark at all the dogs in the park, but is apparently quiet as a mouse at the kennels. .
My guys love the kennels so much that they actually drag us in there. Which is reassuring, but at the same time, a tad insulting.
Black dog is desperately needy and barks and is inconsolable if he doesn't get attention. He's a real people dog, so kennels don't agree with him really. When we flew them to Canada they had to have separate boxes because they are so big (little dogs can share) and he literally barked the entire way because he was on his own... We went to cargo to pick him up and we could hear him outside the warehouse - they aren't allowed to let them out until the owners sign the paperwork...
Tiaras and nail polish would suit him down to the ground as long as he had a nice lady talking to him whilst she did it...
I watched an AC/DC tribute band last night. Not because I'm a massive fan of AC/DC or even tribute bands, but it was a night out and it had been such a gorgeous day I came over all oh go on then . It was ok but I have to admit to being relieved when dh announced that the sound was shit and that we were going to the pub.
I was very good and drank water all night <conveniently forgets the vast amount of wine drunk before going out that was heavily instrumental in the decision to go out> and turned down a takeaway on the walk home, so feeling pleased with myself. Last night was part of the new me who says yes to stuff rather than no. I was becoming a bit mousey so hopefully my 40s will be more fun than my 30s, which were dire.
The weather is fab at the moment madwoman so I really hope it stays like this for you. How exciting! What else are you up to while you're here? I'll get the bunting out and alert the media.
Your poor toe moose! Is it any better? I have to admit to laughing a bit at you and TLP indulging in comfy shoe porn
Aw, poor black dog wailing all alone in an airport warehouse - but ha ha at the mental image of a black lab in nail polish and tiara!
Good on you for saying 'yes' Lamb. Dh asked for a book off me for his birthday that's all about that and supposed to be very motivational. He's reading it at the moment - Yes Man, Danny Wallace.
My toe is much better today. It wasn't first thing, but then I stood up, there was a loud crack, I felt horribly sick from the pain and then it was better. So, it seems it was probably dislocated - which I supposes is preferable to broken, as its now just feeling bruised, rather than really painful and I can walk on my foot again. Dh was laughing at me hobbling around just after it cracked going "oh it feels so much better" "oh what a relief" etc.
Oi - nothing wrong with a nice pair of comfy shoes y'know. I credit my sensible shoes with my not having inherited all the podiatric problems my mum has, despite having alarmingly similar shaped feet/toes. <<proud to have no bunions, corns or callouses - waves flag for sensible shoes>>
Even more progress has been made on dd's room today, despite us forgetting the clocks were going forwards and ending up in bed till 10.00 am. Just stopped for a very late lunch, which dh is very kindly making - hence my having a few minutes to MN.
I'm getting quite excited about creating a lovely girly room for her now - its been far too long coming. I have some lovely vintage Laura Ashley wallpaper to go on the chimney breast and a gorgeous Laura Ashley patchwork quilt that Mum bought her for her first birthday, along with the curtains from my old bedroom at my parents' house along with a really cute 1930s mirror and a Lloyd Loom bedside table, chair and linen basket set that came from dh's Grandma's house. I've already painted them once to match our bedroom at the last house, but am going to do them again in an aged ivory colour and perhaps redo the padding and add some vintage fabric onto the top of the ottoman. Hoping its going to turn out a really nice shabby chic-ish, vintage room that won't have cost us £££s. Fortunately that room already has some fab built in shabby chic shelves in the alcove and a really pretty late 1920s/early 1930s cast iron fireplace.
Sorry, got carried away with myself there. I very rarely get to do anything with the house, let alone anything pretty/girly, so I've gorn a bit daft about it really.
Aw, it sounds beautiful!
It must be spring - everyone is all motivated and full of the joys! . Yay for going out, lamb - I think sometimes just getting out of your comfort zone and doing something different can be very therapeutic. Gives you a little glimpse of possibilities.
Glad about the toe, moose. (but how bizarre!) and yay for water after wine . Kudos on the no take away though?...
Have got to grips with the Anna thingy book. Seems very doable, and have been doing some of it anyway. Have now decided that I will go for it 100% when we are back from the uk. Will semi do it as we visit, but don't want to put upon hosts with additional dietary requirements as will be on tenterhooks with Ds anyway... <sigh>
The room does sound beautiful moose, makes me wish I had a girl. Ds2 is obsessed with the war at the moment <eye roll>
Doing the diet when you come back sounds very sensible madwoman. I did cheat a bit but still lost 6lbs so it is very doable and best of all it works!
............... well .......... Houston ... we have a statement!
Well, we don't actually have a statement, on account of them not actually posting it yet - but - a statement has been issued.
Found out at 11.30pm last night that we have an IEP/LS Review for DS on Friday morning (letter was scrunched in the bottom of his bag ). So, when no letter from the LEA surfaced this morning, I did what any sensible Mum would do and .... went out to lunch and then shopping for girly bits for dd's bedroom with my Mum! Twas lovely mooching around garden centres and craft/gift shops.
Then when I got back, I called the LEA and was told that they have issued a statement and it's all ready for posting out tomorrow morning - but the postal service is so slow that we won't have it by Friday. However, the lovely lady I spoke to offered to email me the main body of the statement, without appendices, tomorrow morning - so I think we'll have it well in advance of the school.
I was so shocked when she said "I can confirm a statement has been issued and will be posted to you tomorrow morning" I was actually lost for words - for a few seconds.
So, I have had a really good day. Mum bought me a gorgeous new handbag that I've been coveting for ages, but wouldn't buy because it was expensive and frivolous - as well as some cute shabby chic fabric hearts and <<whispers>> mini bunting for dd's room, the sun is shining, ds1 had a good day at school and we got a STATEMENT!
Now all I have to do is make sure its worth the paper its written on and try to get my infamous LEA to quantify and specify.
Waaaaaaaaah! <runs around the room shrieking and leaping>
<beams and whispers a teeny little 'I told you so' >
It'll probably need revising. Most do. But all I did was make all the amends I wanted <specifying support, adding provision etc - they had e-mailed me ours as well> and call the issuing officer and request them. He asked a few questions, but just agreed to everything and issued the final statement with all my amendments the next day. It was def a bit surreal.
I am soooooooo pleased for you! <not least because of the handbag, but... Y'know...>
<studiously avoids bunting>
so good news on the toe, statement and handbag front all in one day .
Even more good news - I just bagged a lovely, handmade, solid wood and extremely cute cottagey style toddler bed for dd, on ebay for £40.00. Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket today. We are dumping the dcs on Mum and going to fetch it from Derbyshire at the weekend.
... tis a most pleasing handbag - totally frivolous velvet number that I absolutely don't need, but I lurve it!
Less good is that everyone in the family seems to be coming down with dd's virus - runny noses, headaches and dizziness all round - but even that can't bring me down today.
<sends staving off germs vibes>
<arrives late to the party> That's fantastic news moose
<dances alone for a bit, feels self-conscious, stops>
And very well done on the handbag and the bed (and the toe)
That was my attempt at bunting btw
Well after an afternoon of frustration because there is an issue with Yahoomail that means you can't download attachments via Firefox - I have finally managed to download it via a different browser and well, its woolly as hell.
As far as I can tell, there's not one appropriately specified or quantified point in section three and zero mention of funding units or banding etc. On a more positive note, it does at least cover all the areas we wanted it to, but its going to take a lot of work to amend it and my LEA have a bit of a rep when it comes to writing statements which are insufficiently specified/quantified, having previously been reported to the Secretary of State for it, yet still saying on their website that the won't do it.
I have a thread in SNs about it - first post is mahoosive though, so not sure anyone will read it.
I am not giving up though - if I can get SA and a Statement, then I can do this too. <<stamps foot>>
On a more thread appropriate topic, I have been for a four mile walk encompassing to lots of playing with dd in the park and a trip to Tescos then also took the boys to the park after school. Really enjoyed the sun, but am beyond knackered now.
I also ate an enormous and absolutely delicious salad for my lunch and intend on having another one for my dinner. <<polishes halo >>
Going to put the Statement away for now and my brain already hurts. Need to get onto it tomorrow though, as I'll need a good draft ready for his LS review on Friday, especially as the school still won't know he has a statement by them - unless they've also rung to ask.
Feeling a bit hot, tired and achey, not sure if it's the weather or I'm coming down with something. Will force myself onto exercise bike in a minute
Well done on your walking, Moosemama. Had a quick look at statement thread, one thing I would add is watch wording re:therapies etc, to make sure it specifically guarantees adequate frequency, and direct time with your child, rather than just them talking to the teachers! Oh and that it's not just "has access" to or "would benefit from x groups/language enrichment etc, as that's too wooly.
LOL at the bunting attempt, maybe we should lobby MN for a bunting emoticon to go with the wine and flowers.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVV well actually vvvvvvvvv (tis mini bunting )
I loves a bit of bunting I does! [shameless hippy emoticon]
Hope you're not coming down with something TLP - don't push yourself to exercise if you feel rough.
Thanks for the statement advice, I feel more than a bit overwhelmed by it all to be honest. Dh printed it out for me last night, along with the ACE-Ed booklet, so I intend to go through it line by line today. Had to retire early with an awful hormonal headache last night and am not much better this morning, but need something to take with me on Friday. At least getting it emailed has given me a jump start on going through it, as I think the 15 day deadline only starts from when I receive the full statement with appendices and reports.
Got up early this morning to see ds1's class off on their Tudor school trip. They all looked fab in their costumes.
Blimey it never stops does it? We're at the beginning of the whole process so I'm a wet behind the ears virgin type, as far as statements are concerned <ahem>, so I am of no help there. The SENCo seems confident but it's the quality of it that counts ultimately isn't it?
Went to pick ds2 up at lunchtime as per usual to be met by the SENCo with good news ( the timetable for ds's fazing in to ms ready for Y3) and his nurture group teacher with bad news. She had a card with a long and involved list of his appalling behaviour , she didn't read it to me or anything I think they're keeping evidence which is a good thing, but I caught a few sentences - 'screaming obscenities', 'violent', 'showing his bottom and penis' 'fucking arseholes'... it went on.
I think he's gradually ratcheting up his meltdowns because he feels more relaxed there now. In his first week the teacher said 'I think we had the full range of what to expect today', and I remember thinking, 'oh no you haven't '! I think it may be slowly dawning on them just how awful awful can be. I just hope that the fazing in works and that the EP can help with strategies because obviously, what I use at home is not appropriate or necessarily applicable at school.
Tudor School Trip! <squeals> my idea of heaven!! where have they gone? Are these more costumes you've had to make moose?
This is probably waaay too late TLP but please don't push yourself if you're feeling unwell. You can do more harm than good and actually set yourself back. Concentrate on having healthy nourishing food instead, keep your calories under 1500 or whatever you've set yourself and you'll still lose. But be kind to yourself x.
Oh Lamb, its horrible hearing from other people about what's being going on with/for your ds when you aren't there. All this SEN stuff highlights the darkest/bleakest stuff and never mentions any of the good bits. It's hard on a Mum's heart to hear it.
Ds1 has gone to Selly Manor - don't have a clue where it is, other than somewhere in Warwickshire. I did look at the website and it looks like the schoolkids that go there have lots of fun. The school goes every year and its one of the most popular trips.
Yep, another blooming costume. Bought a sort of goth-ish cream drawstring-neck blouse off ebay, along with a tudor style hat and waistcoat. We belted his tunic/blouse in and hung a little calico pouch with his £2 for the museum shop in it and then just tucked his trousers into football socks in lieu of bloomers and tights. He looked really good actually, better than I'd expected and one of his friend's Mum had put something together that was almost identical, so that pleased him. <phew> Some of the girls were really ott - one even had a full on tapestry Queen Elizabeth I dress, complete with neck ruff and collar and huge underskirt thing - poor girl is going to cook in this weather.
Well, I suppose it will underline for her exactly how uncomfortable it would have been to be a woman of the period! Ds's costume sounds lovely, moose.
Lamb - did the nurture group teacher come up with an equally long list of how she was going to support Ds through this and some possible coping strategies for him? I really hate when they present you with a list of problems but haven't quite got round to thinking about solutions yet... Their job. We all know what the problems are. Reinforcing them isn't going to help. What's she going to doooooooo about them? <small grr>
You don't have to be overwhelmed about the statement. Just make a list of the quantified provision that needs to be in there (cross referred to other therapists/ profs reports if you have them) and then go through it methodically like you are planning to. Nearly there! Coffee and sustenance today x
Ds had the mother of all meltdowns yesterday about half an hour after he got back from the psych... I had asked him in the car what they talked about and he said anger management and breathing. I'm a bit baffled to be honest. He had a lot of anger stuff with the school counsellor well over a year ago, and we haven't had a full on meltdown since. This psych is supposed to be fishing around to find the root of his continence anxieties and phobias... I'm not impressed if she's gone off on an anger tangent and triggered reversion to where we were before. It was exactly the same behaviour. Right down to the subsequent turning round, folding arms, refusing to make eye contact (after screaming the place down, natch). The trigger? Dd2 turned the music off on her iPod the wrong way. < ie not the way he would have done it> < sigh >
Two hours he went for. Weirdly though, when I finally managed to get him upstairs to calm down on his own, instead of destroying the living room, he was back in ten minutes in a pretty okay mood...
I'm not sure that unnecessary anger management sessions are supposed to trigger meltdowns are they???
I had Chinese last night after the drama, and feel rough as chuff now. That'll teach me.
Oh dear that poor girl! Some parents get a bit carried away, though I suppose it's harder to dress girls appropriate to era AND weather - they weren't too bothered about women's comfort in the Tudor period generally were they, so all in all she'll be getting the full Tudor experience . Hope your ds has a lovely time .
It is hard hearing about their times away from us. You just feel so helpless don't you? When they talk about him going full-time at the same time as telling me about what has gone on in just 3 hours, it makes me wonder whether it will ever be possible. And what about the longer future? I know, I know, just don't go there!
This thread has changed my life (if that isn't too dramatic a statement to just chuck out there!). It has given me a focus. I've lost weight and gained fitness yes, but much more than that sharing the daily crap that got me fat in the first place is helping to ensure not only that I won't be fat and unhealthy again, but has helped me to look at myself and how I deal with stress. I'm very insular and never share how I'm feeling in rl so the food and alcohol became a sort of protective wall.
Basically, I would like to give you these moose and madwoman <shuffles, looks at feet> <cries a bit>
Feel better now!
I felt better for the exercise Lambskin, it often works that way. Not quite sure whether it's being 3 stone overweight that causes the aches and pains or the beginnings of a touch of osteoarthritis but I feel better for getting moving iyswim. When I saw the GP last year she was quite dismissive, just muttered something about back spasms, yoga and ibuprofen gel .
sorry for wittering on about me.
Lambskin, agree with Madwoman, sounds relentlessly grim to be shown a list of shortcomings, particularly if she's just wailing about the behaviour rather than has any plan to resolve thme (or at least get behaviour support/ep advice about resolving them). Does the nurture unit end this year? would he be building up to full time m/s at beginning of y3?
God I'm not even pre-menstrual! I was just thinking how much better equipped I am this year to deal with ds2 than last year and I know that this thread has been the reason for that.
madwoman, sorry ab out the anger management ype session. Hope that net time the psych woman takes a more sensible approach.
One of the upsides to DS going to a school the "naice" parents round here turn their noses up, is they have v low expectations re:fancy dress costumes, so wouldnt expect anyone go buy anything especially for outings etc iyswim.
X post! Yes the nurture unit ends this year and the plan is to be fully integrated for Y3.
They are very good there, and he is very very hard. I like to know what's been going on, and unlike the last school they're not accusing when they tell me, simply informing. He's only been there since January really so they're learning on their feet
Glad you're feeling better. Don't want to leave you out of my emotional tsunami can I offer you a ?
Aw lamb. you have done soooo well, and it's down to your own hard work. It's great to have a place to combine the frustrations and trying to do something about it for us and them though.
I seem to be doing well at venting, and not quite so well on the actual weight loss, although I am getting lots more exercise, which has to be a bonus!
TLP, I'm in exactly the same position, physically. Well, just over 2 stone overweight, but with threats of rheumatoid arthritis. I'm back to the physio again today for my arm, which they have dx as tennis elbow (RSI from typing in my book), but there's still a small part of me that listens to my shoulders and wonders how long it will be... The weight has to be a major contributing factor. <sigh>
Do you think I should ring the psych this morning and find out if anything untoward happened at the session (and maybe ask why she was doing anger stuff??).
Lambskin - just re-read your post re:food and alcohol as coping mechanisms. yyyyy to the food as coping mechanism. exercise helps a bit re:mood and to reduce appetite, but there's no magic bullets (sigh)
Mad - yes, I think it's worth gently flagging up he was unusually distressed after the session, see how she responds.
sigh indeed re aches/pains/muscles/exercise and the slow and sensible approach to weight loss. but yay to virtual cups of and supportive chat particularly about SN stuff.
Madwoman, I've just read your post (how did I miss that? Obsessing about me me me probably). Definitely a bit odd that a session on anger management should cause a meltdown, she's not one of those break them to make them types is she? I'd want to ask her what her approach is, are you encouraged to have an input or is it frowned upon?
Re Chinese food. I do this A LOT and never learn. It is an addiction: the high is amazing, the come-down godawful. I have cut out red meat which helps and try to go to posh places now to limit the MSG but OMG.
Yy, she seems to be doing two sessions with him, then one with us. The parent appointment isn't for three weeks though ( was supposed to be next week but we are away). I know she wants to keep seeing him though. I think I'll just give her a call and check it was all ok.
I have read, but can't keep up - head still really bad.
Madwoman, sorry to hear about the meltdown. I'm wondering if she was actually doing some teasing out of the root/s of the phobias and continence issues and touched a nerve. If he didn't feel confident enough with her to let his reaction out, he would then bring it home with him and let it out as soon as he felt safe.
My mum is a clinical psych and I've had a bit of therapy myself in the past. I know from my own experience that it can make you react in very strange ways if/when they start to peel back the layers and get to the crux of the matter. I think to be effective it's always going to be a painful process to varying degrees, as you have to face your fears to conquer them.
Two hours is a long time for someone as young as ds though. My session used to be an hour and I remember coming home totally exhausted and rung out and needing a good few days to process it all and recover.
My own therapist was a very clever lady, often I never even realised she was getting stuff out of me until I'd done a fair bit of after session processing. Things would then start slotting together as time went on and through that I started to gain a better understanding of why I'd ended up in therapy in the first place. She never once confronted the issues I had head on, instead we chatted - either led by me and whatever I wanted to discuss or if I couldn't think of anything to talk about she'd start off by telling me something interesting that she'd seen/read/heard or had happened in her own life. Its pretty much thanks to her that I know have such a good relationship with my Mum, but it was a very bumpy ride while I was going through the therapy.
An alternative suggestion would be that by doing some anger management breathing type exercises they would have discussed how he feels, physically etc when he's angry or having a meltdown - which could have put him straight in touch with those feelings, but with no direction for them, iyswim. She might need him to do this so that he can learn to manage the physical symptoms of anger and learn how to control his meltdowns.
It does seem odd if she said she was going to deal with phobias and continence first - unless, she thinks the anger is directly linked to it somehow.
I do think it would be appropriate for you to speak to her, even if she won't/can't talk to you about the actual therapy sessions, she should be able to discuss what effect she expects the sessions might have on him and what you can do to support the process.
Hope some of that makes sense - my poor head - what with all this peri-menopausal cycle change and 'ormones, I feel like I'm permanently on TOM or pre-menstrual at the moment. A bit of a shock after a lifetime of 36 day cycles.
Lamb, I also love this thread. Its really helped me to understand and accept the link between my weight and food issues and all the stress that the SN stuff brings with it.
Without this thread I don't think I'd have lost the weight I have and would almost definitely have regained most or all of any I had lost.
Coming here and knowing there's folks who understand why I fall off the wagon
a lot every now and again and why sometimes I just can't do it, really helps and has been the difference between me regaining and maintaining.
So all round.
Hmmm, well, played phone tag with the psych, but in the end she left a message. Nothing untoward yesterday, and of anything she would have expected him to be much calmer than normal.
<remembers the hypnotherapy session where he was the worst we'd ever seen him for days>
Hey ho. He's been pretty ok today....
Hmm that's very odd, but hopefully the feedback will be useful for her and she'll be able to come up with a plan for his next session.
Glad he's been better today.
I still have a house of snot - but the boys still want to go to school, so its not too bad. Haven't actually developed the cold myself, just this god awful bad head that will not go away. Nothing is working on it, not even cocodamol.
No choice but to get properly stuck into the statement stuff today either, as its the LS review in the morning tomorrow.
The other challenge for today is costing the boys' birthday presents. I went through and put them all in the Tesco Direct and Amazon shopping baskets yesterday to see how much it all added up to and it came to £180 for the pair of them! Er ... I think not, not at all - but definitely not on top of Legoland. Need to go through and work out what all the Grannies, Grandads and Great Aunts can get them, but have told them both this morning that they won't be getting everything on their lists.
They both want a couple of surprises as well, ds1 is easy - Lego Star Wars Visual Dictionary, Guinness Records Gamers Edition and the latest series of Beast Quest. Don't have a clue for ds2 though. I think I've found him a series of books that might encourage his reading. He's always been overshadowed by ds1 with his reading - but has been doing really well recently and is so proud of himself. He's moved up several reading levels in a couple of months and finally started to read paperbacks at home for fun, so I'd like to encourage that. Definitely need another surprise for him though. <<scratches head>>
Mad - maybe he just hates the traditional relaxation stuff - the imagine you are on a warm beach type stuff?
Moose - sorry about the poorly head. with the statement stuff, agree with whoever it was on other thread to focus on making sure the concrete provision - 1-1 hours, therapies is included.
Been attempting to reword it today, but realistically the whole darn thing needs rewriting.
We have such beautifully specified provision as:
Ds1 will require access to ICT such as a laptop or computer ......
Ds1 will require support with developing imaginative writing skils, ensuring that he takes into account of the audience, using correct punctuation, editing and improving work that he has produced. (That's it - no suggestion of what for this 'support' will take.)
Teachers should be aware that he will require extra support with ............. elements of the curriculum. (Again no suggestion as to type of support.)
Ds1 requires support with self organisation so that it is clear what is expected of him and ensure that difficulties in this area do not impact on his access to teaching. For example, through not having the right equipment or not having handed in work. (Yet again, no suggestion how they will support him.)
It would be practical for his mentor to support with this during regular daily meetings as well as addressing emotional needs. (There had been no mention of a mentor prior to this point on the statement and they are effectively trying to cover two completely different areas of issue/support into one extremely vague point here.)
In order for ds1 to be ready to learn, his emotional difficulties need to be carefully managed and addressed. He requires access to a trusted mentor figure on a regular basis in order to explore any worries, social diiculties or misunderstandings that he has encounters. He benefits from having time to process his thoughts, talk them through, workt them out and feel listened to. Access to the mentor should be ofered on a regular and consistent basis. (Er ... how often, how much, when - not to mention who?)
In addition to providing support in reacting to and managing difficulties that arise, ds1 will also require ongoing support to develop his emotional understanding, self-regulation and social understanding. This support should be provided by an adult with knowledge and understanding of ASD. He will need regular sessions that focus on supporting him in developing skills in identifying his feelings, managing negative feelings ........ etc. (again, how often, how much?)
.... and that's just a small part of it. Every single point is along similar lines - not one 'will be provided with' 'will receive' or 'x number of hours' 'x sessions per week/month of x amount of time' or in fact anything that might even resemble an attempt to specify or quantify.
I've been working through some sample statements and stuff from Treehouse, SOSSEN, IPSEA and ACE-ED and the other thing that really stands out is that the other statements all either state the objectives under section 3 then address each objective in turn or state the needs under specific titles in section 2 and then respond under the same titles in section 3. Ours has totally different section titles for 2 and 3 and there has been absolutely no attempt to match provision to specific needs or objectives, which makes the document incredibly hard to read, follow and make sense of. <<sigh>>
Its is definitely ds1 specific in as much as much of the text has been lifted directly from my initial SA request - so at least its not just a rehash of a standard statement proforma or mis-mash of other statements for children with similar needs, but its like its been written by someone who has zero knowledge of SEN or the law relating to it.
I'm tempted to just write a statement the way I would like it to be and ask for a meeting to discuss which is better. Its got to be quicker than trying to make a silk purse out of this particular sow's ear.
lordy, that is beyond vague. and some of it (taking into account audience with written work, access to IT) could and should apply to all children via National curriculum anyway. Did you suggest a mentor, out of interest, or has this been plucked out of thin air?
I did suggest a mentor-ish type support role, in terms of someone to meet and greet in the morning, sort out letters and homework to be handed in, discuss any changes to the timetable/structure of the day and pre-handle any anxieties or worries about the day that might be affecting ds. The same person would then complete his feelings diary with him after morning play and lunch and finally meet with him at the end of the day to help him pack his bag, make sure he has all his homework and a written instruction of what he needs to do, as well as any letters home etc and finally help him fill in the last feelings diary entry of the day.
The same person would be responsible for picking up any potential problems via the feelings diary and their regular contact with ds and would therefore have a role in helping to manage his anxiety and deal with any issues like bullying etc (he/she would work closely with his ASD Teacher to do this).
That's what I would like him to have anyway.
I didn't actually say mentor . I'd envisage it being a TA role really and based the role on some information Ellen-Jane sent me about what her typical day is like supporting a boy who is very similar to ds (although her charge also has 1:1 in some lessons, which I doubt ds will get, even though its hinted at in the statement).
In addition to this he should continue to have his weekly session with the Autism Inclusion Teacher, who is the person who does all the social stories, comic strip conversations etc and helps him develop strategies for dealing with any situations that come up.
The statement does actually include all this stuff - but in such a wishy washy way as to make it worthless and unenforceable.
I have been sitting here pretty much all day working on it, with more and more steam coming out of my ears.
I'm now going through the pdf adding yellow stickies everywhere I want a change - which is approximately every other line.
Just make all your amendments.
Cover letter to explain why each and every amendment is necessary. And referring to the appeal to the county and quoting the bit about them having to specify and quantify (that bit you quoted earlier), and letting them know that the rewritten statement now adheres to local and national guidelines, with your amendments.
No meeting to discuss.
There is no discussion.
Then call your dude at the LA - email the amended statement back to him, with the cover letter. Tell him if he has any questions to call you.
If your specified provision includes 15 hours of TA time, write it in. For the mentor type stuff, write in time blocks how much per day, etc etc. for social skills and small group work, specify in hours per week.
For the laptop, specify personal IT to be available throughout the school day, every day, (specify laptop or netbook to be provided by school).
It's not dissimilar to dd2's tbh. We agreed on 15 hours 1-1 TA time because there was another girl with 15 hours, so the TAs provided 30 hours of 2-1 coverage.
Write down exactly what you want... / he needs...
Should ave said not dissimilar to her draft. We tightened it up, Nd added in stuff that they had missed out completely, like the TA needed to be trained in how to deal with choking incidents, as did any member of staff supervising snack or lunch...
fab post by madwoman, do what she says. and good idea to avoid meeting, anything of substance can (and should) be achieved in writing anyway.
Thanks guys, all this advice is really helping.
I'm struggling to identify hours to be honest, mainly because he needs help with aspects of literacy in particular, but won't need it for every literacy lesson. Its mostly to do with understanding characters, inference and comprehension - so all theory of mind stuff really, as well as help with imagination and creative writing. I think the school is very resistant to him having 1:1 in lesson time, so it needs to be watertight if he's going to get it.
I'm thinking at least 15 minutes should be allowed for morning and afternoon contact time, so there's time to organise books and equipment, discuss the day and do the feelings diary. Then ten minutes after playtime and lunchtime for a quick touch base and feelings diary again. So that would be 50 minutes a day, which adds up to 4.17 mins a week.
He then needs an hour a week 1:1 session based around emotional literacy, anxiety management and confidence building and a weekly social skills group.
On reading how much support they think he should have around developing organsational skills and knowing how much he struggles with assembly, I'm wondering if I should push for him to have 1:1 instead of attending assemblies - which, I think, would be half an hour Mon, Tues and Thurs and an hour Wed and Fri, so another 3.5 hours.
Hmm, so that would be 8 hours 47 minutes 1:1 and an hour of group work a week. I think.
Yy, but we had the same issues with dd2.
She only needed help for certain things, but these were just randomly spread, tbh. No real way of time tabling when they were going to rear and she would need support. She def didn't need ft 1-1. So, like you, it was just a case of coming up with an average week of support needs and adding up the times.
<sends soothing vibes>
Nearly there, moose.nearly there.
<massages shoulders. Applies cold flannel to brow. Fans gently>
I wouldn't ask for him to skip assembly, tbh. Really valuable social skills time and makes him part of the group. Assemblies can be talked about all day. But def add the organisational time on. You don't have to specify exactly where in the day it should be. As long as he gets that support. (dd2 needed support for assemblies, if that's helpful. Sometimes they could be noisy, or overwhelming, and she would have to leave. Particularly if there was a visiting musician or band, or whatever)
I am fully aware I am being a neurotic pita, but I can't seem to help it. So thank you for your patience.
Its not helping that my brain just refuses to kick into gear this week to the extent that even adding up simple digits has had to be done on a calculator.
The assembly thing has come about because he finds it stressful and distressing and his teacher is exasperated at trying to find ways of getting him to sit still and not chat to the child next to him. He regularly has to leave, as he goes into himself and starts fretting about one or more of his current anxieties, then ends up in tears and needs counselling. He also gets told off by other teachers fairly regularly, because although they know he has ASD and went on the ASD awareness day last year, they don't seem to realise that he really can't help it. It would be much easier if he could 'zone out' during assemblies, like he does in lessons.
Dh is just off on a petrol hunt - and is then going to come back and go through it with me. Hopefully he will be more switched on than me and we might make some headway.
Thank heavens we have this extra time before our 15 days starts.
It'll be easy to put the time in to cover 1-1 for assembly then? (same with dd2, she would regularly have to leave, and so there needed to be someone who could take her out. The TA usually sat next to her so could spot any issues). The presence of a TA, even lurking nearby, would serve as a visual reminder to other staff, and also give him something to focus on, too?
You're not a neurotic pita, you're a mother. (not sure if that should read, yeah, you're a neurotic pita, but that's because you're a mother... )
I have honed my neuroses to the point that I am fully aware that I am a pita, but have developed a disarming smile and an insistence that no-one could possibly disagree with me because I am so rational.
Not on here, obv.
On here I'm a neurotic pita. a disarming smile is so tricksy to get over in type, and so I just blunder around like a bull in a china shop, scattering nonsensical emoticons at will. Hey ho.
Am starting to do a small amount of fretting that there will be no gas in the hire car. <see? Neurotic!>
They're refilling the pumps fairly regularly round here now madwoman, so you should be ok. Dh has managed to fill up the car - which was running on fumes and the camper, which we need to collect dd's bed on Sunday. Am sure the hire companies will be making sure their cars are all refuelled as a matter of priority.
I am pretty good at the smile and calm exterior in meetings and also at restating my case endlessly rather than backing down or trying to argue, so hopefully it will stand me in good stead. I tend to just come home and have a very private breakdown afterwards.
Well, dh and I have just gorn through the statement and compared them with the depersonalised ones Alison222 sent me, which are for a child of the same age with similar needs. Conclusion is ... what we have is a crock of ... well you get the picture. Ours doesn't even vaguely resemble the others, its poorly written with bad grammar, atrocious punctuation (which is saying something coming from me ) and no discernable structure, let alone any quantification or specification.
We read the SOSSEN and Treehouse advice and they say we have to justify every single amendment and should just ask the LEA to look at the statement again and specify/quantify in the first instance - but this thing honestly needs a complete rewrite. There is simply no correlation between parts 2 and 3 or even the objectives (which aren't SMART) and the provision within section 3.
Plan is to call Parent Partnership tomorrow and ask how we should approach getting the LEA to change just about every point throughout the whole statement. Hopefully the Head of Inclusion will be at ds's LS review tomorrow morning and I will also ask her if she would come and go through it with me. She was fantastic going through my evidence this time last year and it was her that drove the school to produce enough evidence for my SA request to be taken seriously. She came for a half hour meeting and stayed for three hours trawling through heaps and heaps of paperwork and schoolbooks etc with me.
I am now angry, but ready to fight at least. I was more than a bit lost there for a while.
Ugh. How depressing.
Hope you manage to get a good night's sleep and can hold your own tomorrow x
Meeting went ok. The school didn't know we'd got the statement, so we have arranged another meeting to discuss it, but looking at the dates, I now think it will be too late.
Weighed in this morning:
Friday 30 March: 10 st 13 oz (153 lbs)
Not desperately concerned, as my TOM is due any second and I've started being good again, although not restarted working out yet.
Would love to be at least 10 stone 10 by the end of the month.
I've been really enjoying big salads this week, but they are predicting snow for next week now, so that might put the kybosh on that until it warms up again.
Feeling a bit up and down. Ds threw a chair (a chair ffs) at a girl's head on Thursday so the SENCo and the nurture group teacher had me and ds in a room to talk about it. I felt uncomfortable with the way it was handled tbh. It was all 'look what you have done' and comments about how scheming he had been about it.
Now I'm not condoning what he did, not by a long way, but the point has to be why he did it. They thought it was because she was telling him to be quiet (which he can't do), but when I spoke to him about it later he told me that it was to make her make a noise!
They get stickers for good behaviour and one of the rewarded good behaviours is sitting quietly on the mat. This little girl is always at the top of the reward chart and ds is always at the bottom plus he leaves at 12 so no chance of redeeming at the end of the day. So there she is, having told him to be quiet, sitting cross legged on the mat finger on lips obviously going to get a bloody sticker (this is ds's point of view) and there he is unable to stop making noises already been sent to another part of the room for annoying everyone, obviously not going to get a sticker. So he threw the chair at her to get her to make a noise and so not get a sticker. When it hit her and she cried, he laughed not because he was happy she was hurting but because she was making a noise! Job done! And then all hell breaks loose and he is removed and she gets rewarded anyway.
He was still angry about what he could see as the deeper injustice. They wanted him to be punished and then start the day in isolation. So, he ended the day negatively and started the day negatively and he did not understand why.
I explained all this to the SENCo and that in our experience (which is considerable) reward charts and sanctions don't work. If he is set up in competition against other children he will fail because it is not fair from the get go. It's a bit like being in a running race when you can't even walk properly.
To be fair to the SENCo she was very willing to listen, took on board everything I said, photocopied the whole chapter on education from the Understanding PDA in Children book I showed her and I'm pretty confident they will try to do their best. But he will need to be treated differently to the other children and schools find that very hard.
Anyway, then I weighed myself and I'm back up to 10 stone.
I am with you in spirit moose, unfortunately I am of no practical use. I'll hold your hand though. The whole assembly thing is a difficult one here too. I think it's good for some but can get the day off to a divisive start with fellow pupils and teachers. How's your head today?
When do you arrive in Blighty madwoman? I need to give the bunting a rinse.
I have no petrol in my car and the pumps are mad round here. Walking everywhere should help with that sodding pound though
It sounds like the school need back up from someone more qualified and experienced to help them understand the reasons behind your ds's behaviour and come up with some strategies to deal with this sort of reaction before it happens. I guess there's a potential problem with that though, in that PDA is a relatively newly recognised problem that there aren't enough 'experts' on, especially not in MS education.
Have the school tried approaching outreach for support - or do you need a dx in your area? We were lucky, you didn't need a dx - just enough red flags and suspicion - to get support when we brought them in for ds. Others won't be so lucky, as they are changing their policy from next September to say they will only work with dxd children - all down to funding of course.
Once you've listened to him and understood why he did it it makes perfect sense, well from a child's perspective anyway. As you said, they should be addressing the reasons why he felt he needed to take such drastic action to be recognised. In particular they should be finding out what does motivate him and using that. They are setting him up to fail with their current system.
Its good that the SENCO was willing to listen and will try to implement some strategies from the book. Do you think a donation of a couple of copies of the book to the school might be a good idea?
Bet your pound is just water weight and will be gone again in a couple of days. I have found myself considering drastic action to get properly back on track. Was thinking about cycling my calories, so very low a couple of days a week, low/sensibly a couple more and then one maintenance level day. Thought I might do it by eating only fresh fruits, veg and nuts with the odd bit of cheddar and egg thrown in occasionally and cutting out everything else for a while. A bit like I did when I started last year. Finding the whole idea a bit daunting though, especially with the holidays coming up, knowing I will be on my own at home with all three dcs. <<wibble>>
My head is still not right, thanks for asking, but a lot less painful than it has been. Unfortunately dh has come down with manflu this weekend, so we are griping at each other constantly in a horrible parody of the kids behaviour. At least I can blame my hormones, he only has a cold ffs!
They do need some help I think. It just goes contrary to everything society expects; child led, no demands, no competition ... It's very scary actually, we struggle day to day so chuck a load of other kids into the mix, many with problems of their own, and it must feel impossible. It is a newly recognised condition so they are doing their very best but sort of in the dark. I do remember them saying though that there was a girl with PDA a year or two above him , surely this can't all be news? I'd better find out.
The book donation is a good idea, it does need to be read as a whole rather than taking just the one chapter. I'll find out about that too . Thank you.
He is due his CAMHS appointment for assessment for PDA through soonish. There's no one in this area who can dx PDA so I suppose they're shipping someone in from elsewhere. If they say he hasn't got PDA then I really will be at a loss. It's the only thing that fits, and I mean totally fits.
The little girl was fine btw, I saw her the next day and she was all smiles and waved at ds bless her. It's so heartbreaking. I really don't want to be in the position of apologising and living in fear of other parents like last year.
I feel like my diet needs a boost again too. You get in a rut don't you? The Anna Richardson thing worked really well for me last time so I'm starting that again as of today, and working out 3/4 times a week if not more. I did a mammoth hour long Davina workout this afternoon so I'd better have lost this time next week.
I saw the photos from the wedding and although I do look ok, it has made me more determined than ever to get to 9 stone. I don't carry weight very well and look chunky rather than rounded.
Your poor head is it related to your MS/ME? Your dh should be looking after you not coming down with man flu. I swear they do that on purpose to get attention, they can't bear someone else needing more care than them! Have you got anything planned for the holidays? Or will it be one day at a time crowd control?
If it fits Lamb, I'm sure he'll get the dx and then hopefully both you and the school might be able to access some specialist support.
Glad the little girl was ok. Children tend to brush these things off far quicker than adults do.
You cannot possilby look chunky in those photos. If there is even a hint of chunk, then it must be down to a crap photographer. You'll disappear if you keep moving your goal weight! I think we're about the same height and I look gaunt at anything under about 9 stone 9lbs, so 9 stone would be verrry thin and not at all easy to maintain for our height.
Not sure what's up with my head, could be viral or hormonal, but the vision thing with my right eye is related to the MS/ME problem and I've had that all week now.
Dh did actually take all three dcs out to visit the PILs this afternoon, but I had to use the time to work on rewriting the statement. It took most of that time to import it into word and format it, then read all the reports from professionals. Turns out its pretty much a cut and paste job from a combination of all the reports, which is why it covers everything, but isn't specified. Hopefully they'll be happy to make the millions of changes I want as I'm not contesting the content or provision.
The only thing I have planned for the holidays is surviving the boys' birthdays. Ds1 has his best friend coming round for the afternoon on his and ds2 has his two closest friends coming round on his. They are 8 days apart, so hopefully I will have time to recover - I may enlist my mum for back-up on the days though. Other than that I thought we'd do the usual trips to the local park, weather permitting and perhaps have a day out with Mum somewhere.
How about you - are you planning anything nice this holiday?
Our holidays don't start until next Friday though.
No wonder you've had a headache really with all that you've had to do recently. Is it just a case of submitting it now then? Hope the worst is over.
Happy Birthday mini mooses! Are the pressies sorted now? I'm sure they'll have lovely days with their friends. Thank god for mothers, mine is having ds2 for a week! We're going to stay over the Easter weekend then leaving him, and I'll meet her half way to pick him up again. She's bracing herself!
I think I'm shorter than you - 5' 5" and I'm big on top so I probably feel chunkier than I am. I was always 9 stone before though ... My BMI is 23 and I think I'd like it to be 21. If I find it too hard though I will accept myself at this weight, it's not a bad weight at all, I'd just like a bit of give either way!
Aaargh! No! The presents aren't sorted and I'm quietly panicking. I need to go through their lists with dh and decide what we, Mum, PILs and Great Aunts will be buying.
I've bought some books and that's it so far, as dh is being all nowty about how much I'm allowed to spend due, not to the cost of Legoland itself, as that was paid for back in January, but the cost of kennelling the blooming dogs for the weekend.
Oooh a whole week child free - heaven! You lucky thing.
My lovely mum is having our brood for the day tomorrow so we can go and collect dd's new 'big girl' bed and visit our best mate. Can't wait for the peace to be honest.
I'm 5'7" (finally agreed after dh convincing me I was nearer 5'6" ) and am still a blooming 34GG even after losing all the weight I have. I'd like to have a BMI of 21 too, not sure why. I think it just sounds safely in the middle of the healthy range. Mines currently 24, although it was 23.6 the weekend of the party.
I would need to be 9st 8lb to have a BMI of 21 though and I know from previous experience that that weight is not a good look on me. Still not sure what my final goal is going to be, at this rate it'll be 10 stone 13lbs, as I just don't seem to be able to get properly back on track at the moment. The sunny weather helped this week, but now they're going to throw minus temps and snow at us again.
I'm kind of thinking I will have to learn to accept at some point that, while I'll manage to stick to a healthy diet and manage to exercise more in the summer, I'm always going to be a bit of a podge in the winter and end up feeding my sugar addiction through the colder months. I need to stop having unrealistic expectations of myself and accept my limitations, so I don't constantly feel like a failure. At the same time though, I need to realise that I can indulge my sugar addiction and carb cravings sensibly, without putting back on all the weight I've lost over the summer.
I really want to get back into exercising now, am getting bored, twitchy - and flabby!
Lamb - sorry about the chair incident, the reward system they have does seem rather counterproductive, particularly if they aren't factoring in that it's a lot harder for him to get stickers if he's only in school half the day. Once had a dragon SALT insist good sitting was crossed legs as well as still etc - fortunately only had her for one group session, but at the time was very at appropriateness for a group of kids with SN.
Moose - a pain that your childfree afternoon was spent wrangling with statement wording. Hope it clears up soon.
Atm I am focus on getting under BMI 30 - just under half a stone to go. So anything under 25 feels like a distant dream!!
TLP, I think I had a BMI of around 34 this time last year - you'll get there.
I remember being over the moon when I got under 25. I used to keep going back into the BMI calculator on MFP as I got nearer the goal, just to watch the numbers go down.
Of course that was around the time my lovely dh convinced me I was actually only 5' 6", so had a good few pounds more to lose before I was in the healthy bracket. I could cheerfully have punched him on the nose. I didn't find out he was wrong until a few weeks back either!
TLP what are you doing to lose the weight? I'm very aware that last year we talked about food and exercise a lot more than we are now. First thing that helped me was myfitnesspal so I could see that my supposedly healthy diet was actually vast and full of stuff I really didn't need. So I removed the extras like wine and snacks, and then eliminated carbs like bread, pasta, potatoes and rice.
Now for breakfast I have a small amount of porridge made with water, banana, splash of skimmed milk, and some cinnamon with a large mug of green tea. Or rye toast with marmite or peanut butter and an apple.
Lunch is 2 boiled eggs and 2 ryvita and Earl Grey tea
Dinner is either fish or chicken with vegetables or salad with sparkling water.
If I'm hungry between meals I always have blueberries available that I buy frozen and skinny frothy coffee (homemade).
Now this tends to go out the window a bit at weekends or when I've had a particularly bad day/week (see above) but it works when I stick to it.
I try to do a workout (45 mins/1 hour) about 3/4 times a week and walk for half an hour a day (hilly).
I recently gave my weight loss a jolt by doing Anna Richardson's Body Blitz for 14 days and lost 6lbs.
I know I find it useful to see what other people are doing just to compare if nothing else. We're all different, and what works for me might be the exact opposite of what you want to do. It has taken me ages to find a way of eating that I can live with, and sometimes setting down everything I have eaten for all to see has helped me to see where I'm going wrong and helped me to revise for the next week's goal.
Talking of which, I would like to be back under 10 stone for next week, but will try to be philosophical whatever <clenched teeth>
thanks Moose, it's v useful to see that if I stick to it , I could be skinny by this time next year!
Lamb - what I do isn't dissimilar to you, if not quite ahem as committed. I eat about 1500 cals per day, and aim for 5 hours exercise a week (harder now working 5 days instead of 2), a mix of walking, exercise bike and workout DVDs. We're have a belt tightening month atm, so can't afford too many fresh fish and berries, do the frozen blueberries taste OK? I try and count fat grams as well as calories, but have fallen off the wagon a bit with eating salad and oily fish and avocado.
2 years ago I lost 3 stone, last year 2 of that crept back on, of which I have lost 1. So I have 1 stone to go to get to my recent low of 11st 13, then a further 2 stone to go to get to BMI 25. Anything under that feels like a distant dream! My big current goals are to get under BMI 30, and get my waist under the heart/diabetes danger zone measurement!
I found it too daunting to think of 2/3 stone to lose (even though that was the thread title I joined) I just knew I had to lose weight, but more important, stop eating so much crap and drinking so much wine. i like the idea of taking it one week at a time, weighing in on the same day every week and (usually) watching the numbers go down. You've done it before so you know what works. The hardest bit is keeping it off though isn't it?
Frozen berries are a pretty good substitute and much cheaper than fresh. Not as nice no, but not bad. Dh and I are always arguing about the food I want to buy, but the way I see it is, I'm not drinking much anymore or eating crisps, cheese, takeaways, etc so it really is much cheaper in the long run.
yep, it's the carrying on and on and on with the healthy lifestyle stuff that is a pain, even once you've shifted the weight [grin. It's a slow grind tho, I am lucky to lose more than 1lb a week these days.
DH is so laid back he's horizontal over stuff like the food bill (which ist mostly) a good thing, I remember justifying nice grapes by saying it was wine in it's natural form . Have got a bag of tangerines and a bag of apples instead of berries as its a lot cheaper, berries are nicer though, ggah.
Gosh we've been quiet since Madwoman departed.
Having a mad week here. Ds2 is off sick, meeting with the school at 8.30 am tomorrow to discuss the statement and all the usual crap on top. Am feeling stressed and panicky and frankly just want to run away.
On top of all that Iust saw my dog nearly run over twice after she escaped through next door's fence. Had to leave all three dcs home alone and chase her across the park in a howling gale and sleet storm wearing a tshirt, joggers an crocs. I was drenched and she was completely freaked out. I then started this thread about the legalities of fence repairs, got well and truly told MN stylee and realised what idiots we've been. We should have just refenced cheaply on our side, it would have been better than nothing and much less stressful.
Ah well, you live and learn I suppose.
Hope you are all having better weeks than I am.
not having a great week here either, not as bad as yours tho Moose, have a weird unsettled tummy, think it started as bug and turned to a spate of IBS. either have no appetite or want to stuff myself full of salty stuff, and too tired to exercise. weight stuck at 13 stone 0.
good luck with the meeting tomorrow, I suppose at least it's out of the way early (clutches at positivity straw relentlessly).
Sorry you're not well. Sometimes you just have to give in and let your body recover <voice of experience from someone who hasn't exercised since 10th March>. Try to see it as a bump in the road and not a dead end. You'll soon be back into it and it will be so much easier when the weather improves again.
I am also panicking about ds1's birthday presents. They are all in one Amazon order that should have been delivered today, but hasn't. What with the bank holidays, I am getting worried now. His birthday is next Tuesday!
Good luck with the meeting moose! Or rather I hope the meeting went well (by the time you read this). Are your dcs still at school? Ds2 broke up on Friday so it's been mental round here. Dh has got a couple of days off tagged onto Easter so that's why I'm able to be on here - can hear the shouting as I type!
Well done for foiling the dog's bid for freedom. Sounds awful.
Sorry things have been tough TLP. Moose is right, we all go through times when the weight loss stops, you can't exercise and you generally feel like crap. One day at a time.
I've weighed myself early again - I seem to like Thursdays, don't know why - and you must have been right moose because I'm 9 stone 12.6. Dh is a bit because he wanted a drinking buddy this weekend but obviously I don't want to mess this up.
Meeting went well! The SENCO agreed with all our changes and even that we needed to get it as quantified and specified as possible. She also agreed with Madwoman to just send them in as minor changes, as its basically just semantics and she thinks they would rather accept the changes than waste time on meetings.
Good news on the dog/fence front as well. Our neighbour got up and fixed it first thing this morning. So now I don't have to worry about her escaping again. I have taken a thank you card round and will ask dh to buy him a few cans or something as well.
Lamb, you are doing so well on the weightloss. I am planning to move into drastic measures after Easter weekend, with a strict kcal diet and trying to get back into exercise. Hoping I'll find it easier once the stress of the statement is off.
Just been to the GPs with ds2. He has a temp of 38.3, chest hurts when he coughs and his voice sounds odd. We are always worried with him, because he's had pneumonia a couple of times (nearly lost it to him when he was 4) and always presents atypically, so there's a red flag on his medical notes to have any potential chest stuff checked out straight away. Fortunately the GP thinks its viral this time, so just some tlc, rest and calprofen. Got to go back if its not better in a couple of days or gets any worse. To be honest, my gut instinct is that he doesn't appear ill enough, iyswim, so I was relieved when the doc agreed with me. He's upstairs in bed watching his beloved Star Wars the Clone Wars dvds - again.
Apparently the West Midlands is out of kilter with the whole of the rest of the country with this holiday. They break up today and go back on the 23rd.
Better day today then
I'm doing ok at the moment but the weight loss has definitely slowed down and it's much harder than it was. I'm trying to exercise everyday now and watch out for the quality of the calories. I am having some wine tonight but with griddled tuna, roasted peepers and salad so at least not the takeaway I actually want. I was fantasising about all sorts of crap yesterday.
I would ideally like to be 9 stone and maintain at that. If I continue to lose 1lb every fortnight, that could take until October .
I bought a tankini for this weekend (!), not brave enough for a bikini but was feeling reckless enough not to get a swimsuit. Now the weather has turned I don't know if I'm relieved or disappointed.
From what I've read it does get much harder to lose the closer you get to your goal. Your evening meal sounds lovely (well except the tuna obv, being a veggie).
I have been loving my salads, despite the cold weather, but sadly am still seemingly unable to resist eating crap in between. I haven't weighed myself, but my clothes are feeling a bit more snug, so I know things are going in the wrong direction. That said, TOM is now 6 days late based on the past few months, so things are all out of kilter anyway. (Before anyone suggests it, there's absolutely zero chance I could be pregnant.)
Ds's blooming presents still haven't turned up. Just spent the best part of an hour on the phone first to Amazon, who barely spoke English and told me the Royal Mail had emailed them to say my parcel will be delayed by 2 days and should be here by Saturday.
Then I spoke the Royal Mail, who assured me they have sent no such email and have no idea where my parcel is because its first class, so not tracked. They were sure that there are no problems reported that would have affected it though. Blooming lying Amazon! Ironically, if I'd gone with free super saver delivery, it would have been tracked - but wouldn't arrive on time anyway, so I was stuffed either way. The RM guy was lovely though and really helpful. Our sorting office (where my parcels usually disappear - remember my 11 missing parcels at Christmas?) closes at lunchtime, so he emailed the manager and told him to check for my parcel at 7.00 am Saturday, as soon as they open. I can then call him at 7.00 and find out whether or not its going to arrive at all that day.
Back on to Amazon, got another overseas call centre, but this time much better and more helpful she agreed that the first one had lied and there was no email from RM. She apologised and said if it hasn't arrived by late Monday morning, call them and she's left a note for them to send replacements by express delivery, which should arrive before 1.00 on Tuesday. Not ideal, but at least he'll have his presents on his birthday (well all but the one he really wanted, which is now out of stock and impossible to get anywhere else ).
I have prepared ds1 for the possiblity that the majority of his presents might not arrive until lunchtime on his birthday and he says he's ok with it, as long as they do actually come on his birthday, BUT, I have a strong feeling he isn't going to feel like that on the day.
Am thinking it might be better to despatch dh to try and get hold of at least a couple of them from high street shops. There are some for which that would be just impossible though.
I've heard so many bad stories about Amazon, quite a lot on here. Most of the stuff I buy you can't track and when it arrives late there's no apology. It could all still arrive in time but that's a gamble that is not fair when it's your ds's birthday. You could make it like a game, he gets a token for each present owing and when it arrives he trades it in ... or something ....
I've found the two Lego sets at ToysRus, Waterstones have the Lego Visual Dictionary and HMV have one of the DS games. DH has said if its not here by Saturday lunchtime he's just going to go out and buy those things from the shops. There will still be a few items missing we can't buy from the high street (typical ds and his obscure/niche present requests) but at least he'll have something to open if we do that. I'll still ask Amazon to do the express delivery and will just return anything that we end up with duplicates of, that way we've covered every option.
I like the trading in tokens idea, that could work really well. Ds is a great one for negotiating trades.
Lamb - well done for getting under 10 stone. Completely agree that the more you lose, the harder it becomes, as when you are thinner, you'll need that bit less calories.Have managed to get under 13 stone again, but dont feel securely under iyswim, have managed to start doing some exercise again. Now my tummy has settled my back has been playing up (aaargh), had to do some shifting of heavy stuff at work, and guy working in the room (a stranger) studiously ignoring my difficulties . I am an absolutely stickler for courtesy at work, in terms of keeping doors open etc when people are manoeuvring heavy stuff.
Moose - sorry about the mares with amazon. And glad you have managed to replicate the pressies For the missing DS game, do you have cex or grainger games nearby. You can check the cex website to see if they have the game anywhere remotely local.
Yodel (HDN as was) has a pretty erm interesting reputation if you google it. My replacement kindle was left out all day on the doorstep by them (was out at work), it saved arranging redelivery, but good job I live in an honest area!!!
Well done at getting under 13 st TLP. Sorry to hear about your back.
Thanks for the DS game idea, but I've never heard of either place, so assume we don't have them nearby. The game concerned is a vintage game - typical ds1 to choose something that is not only vintage, but also rare and almost impossible to get hold of.
Ah yes, HDN were the people that dumped ds2's scooter (Christmas prsent) outside the front door in pouring rain when we were in and it wasn't even wrapped, just in its original box, which was battered to hell. Opened the front door to go out and had to shove ds2 back in the house so he didn't see it.
We frequently get stuff left on the doorstep, fortunately we also live in an honest area and the front door is obscured from the street by a blooming great vw camper in its 'winter coat' (as dd calls it ).
Ds2 is not a well boy at all this morning. He came down to watch tv with ds1 at 7.30 and when I came down to bring a coffee up for dh and I he was curled up looking extremely pale and said he felt dehydrated. So I got him a drink of water. Then dh went down half and hour later and found him shivering on the sofa and unable to stand up or walk. Took his temp - just under 39 degrees, so dosed him up with calprofen and put him to bed. Am going to take his temp again and if he doesn't show signs of improvement will call OOHGP. This is scarily like the other times he's had pneumonia. The first time he'd seen 3 different GP's before the OOHD saw him while he was spiking a temp of 42 and called an ambulance! None of the other docs could hear any crackles in his lungs because there were actually no breath sounds - no air was getting in, so they all assumed virus, rather than bacterial and because his temp was spiking, it wasn't high enough for them to worry when they took it themselves. He doesn't present with typical symptoms, he just has high temp spikes, shakes and chest/stomach pain and twice he has only presented with a temp and leg pain.
He was in hospital in an isolation room for over a week, not responding to antibiotics, totally motionless, just sleeping and not eating or communicating. He wasn't eating but the abs gave him horrendous diarrhoea so the weight just fell off him. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with dd at the time and didn't leave his side - never been so scared in my life and was sure we were going to lose him. They were really concerned it had encapsulated and that would probably have been fatal. Apparently they only just caught it in time.
It took him well over a year to recover physically, he was a skeleton and his beautiful thick curly hair fell out in chunks. He also regressed to toddler state, stopped speaking and lost all the skills he'd learned at school, which ended up with him on the SEN register for 2 1/2 years until he caught up. Up until he was taken ill he was the sweetest natured child you could ever hope to meet, but we brought home a different child from the hospital. He was moody, refused to do anything he was told, refused to eat or drink, screamed and tantrummed - I felt like I had lost him.
So ... that's why I get a bit twitchy when he's ill like this.
Sorry, went off on one a bit there.
sorry your DS2 is so poorly, you are absolutely right to want to get him seen today, given the history of pneumonia, it must be v stressful for you whenever he gets ill given what he went through when he was younger. I wouldn't wait too long to call OOH tbh, on the basis that as it's start of bank holiday weekend, I imagine the later you wait, the busier they will be iyswim.
That sounds horrendous moose . I don't think you can overreact in a situation like that. At least this time you know what to look out for. I second TLP in getting someone to take a look at him, it's always under staffed at weekends.
TLP, well done on getting under 13 stone! It always feels good to get under a whole number
Going away for a couple of days to visit my mum today, hope you have a good Easter and don't eat too much chocolate! Take care x
Hope you have a nice weekend Lamb.
Moose - thinking of you and your lad. Have a horrible feeling your absence means theres been a hospital run.
Sorry, absence actually meant my errant TOM started and I've been curled up in a ball in bed. I did get up to lie under and blanket and watch Puss in Boots with dh last night. He wasn't impressed with my choice of film, but I needed something easy and funny to watch.
I've got the worst cramps I've had since I was a teenager - just like back to back contractions. Had to resort to cocodamol at 7.00 am, which then knocked me out and I've only just got up to watch the dcs, while dh goes to collect the Amazon parcel. (Turns out it was sitting at the sorting office, but when we rang they said it wouldn't be delivered today because they're short staffed. I paid bloody first class on that as well - pointless waste of money!)
Ds2 is doing ok-ish. Calprofen brought his temp right down, so OOD didn't want to/wouldn't see him, but he still stayed in bed all day sleeping and watching Star Wars intermittently. He says he feels quite a bit better today, but temp is still spiking, so we're keeping him quiet and still keeping a close eye on him. He does seem much brighter and more with it, so fingers crossed.
Hope you have a nice weekend at your Mum's Lamb.
oh good, I'm relieved you aren't stuck in a paed hospital ward, sorry you have such grisly period pains, can completely relate to the periods pains being as bad as labour issue, have taken the wimps way out of dealing with it (taking the pill/mini-pill for as long as they'll give it me) rather than aim to get fixed by gynaes.
Thanks TLP. Unfortunately, despite appearing a bit better today, he's spiked a high temp and gone all wobbly again this evening at bedtime, just when we thought he was starting to improve. Have given some more calprofen and am going to take his temp again when dh gets back from his mates party in an hour or so, then keep a chart of his hourly temps from early tomorrow morning. If it doesn't come down and stay down this time we are definitely going to push for them to see him.
Period pains aren't much better either, so all in all I'm not having a great Easter break. I'm not allowed to use any hormonal pills/meds thanks to my wonky brain, so there's not much else they can do really. Both my elder and younger sisters have it worse than me, seems to be a bit of theme with the girls in our family. I have been lucky really, because I haven't suffered too badly from having ds1 until recently. I can't help wondering if the difference this month is all the crap I've been eating.
Weighed in this morning and am back up to 11 stone. I think I was 10 stone 11 last time I weighed in, but I'm not surprised as I've done no exercise and my diet has been atrocious. I have a plan to get serious with it again once dh goes back to work on Wednesday. Going to start building up my exercise again and have worked out some daily menus in advance and added them up in MFP to make sure they are suitable. Basically just small amount of porridge or some natural yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, salad every day for lunch instead of sandwiches and either soup, salad or ratatouille (home made pasta sauce without the pasta really) for evening meal. Very boring and repetitive, but I feel like I need to go back to being really strict and go cold turkey on refined sugar to get back on track.
How's DS been overnight, Moose? I have heard of links between PMT and "bad" carby stuff, but wouldn't have thought a cervix woul be that responsive to junk food (?), but if it works, don't knock it.
I also need to bootcamp myself with food as well, more sweet potatoes and tinned/fresh fish, more protein etc. THis month is a bit lean financially but have overtime money next month so can afford more nice protein and berries!
Ds2 had a good night. I woke him to take his temp at 12.30, because he felt sweaty, but his temp was under 37, so normal. Its been 37.6 this morning and we haven't caught any spikes yet. He's still very pale with red cheeks, but has managed to put away half his bodyweight in chocolate this morning!
I was told the link between painful periods and junk food is the effect it has on the digestive tract, causing inflammation and slow motility, meaning that everything is under more pressure and pushing on each other - hence the pain. My elder sister suffers from really bad ibs and has also been told its the inflammation in her bowel that makes her period pains so much worse.
Maybe we should make a pact with each other to really get stuck into healthy eating and exercise starting after the Easter weekend.
I'm not doing berries either at the moment, as we're also a bit tight with both boy's birthdays this month. Fortunately Legoland was paid for months ago, but we will have to buy our evening meal and probably a round of ice-creams. Dh is due his bonus on payday this month, so we should be able to breathe again then.
The children bought me two huge Easter eggs! I have a big Thortons Premium and a Lindor one. Apparently they had an argument about which one to buy, so dh gave in and bought both! (Very sensible considering what I've just said about money. )
Unlike my children, I haven't opened mine yet though. I have a veggie roast dinner to get through later as well, so I could well be a good few lbs heavier by the time I start on Wednesday.
oh good, glad to hear mini-moose sounds to be on the mend, fingers crossed.
that makes sense re:digestive issues and periods, as starting my period always seemed to set my guts off (tmi). we could be brave re:berries and start looking into frozen ones like lamb!
I used to buy frozen blueberries to add to the dcs porridge. They'd probably be ok thawed in yoghurt I suppose - I know they're lovely in Eton Mess, but that's probably not very helpful information when dieting!
Just having a bowl of fat free natural yoghurt and fruit in a vain attempt to balance the chocolate and roast dinner fest I have planned for this evening!
The Tesco value natural yoghurt is a good buy - only 50p for a 500g pot and two pots tend to last me a week. I buy the ripen at home nectarines when they're on offer and have those in it.
I'm wondering if perhaps we should pop to the garden centre and invest in a pot and some berry seeds. Can't be that much for a plastic plant pot and a few seeds can it? Then (if we actually manage to get them to grow) we could have lo-cost berries all through the summer.
We were going to do hanging tomato plants last year and didn't get round to it, but the financial incentive might actually get us off our backsides this year.
Survived the weekend! Spent most of the journey back decompressing emotionally, and have had to have some wine and some cheese to compensate for the lack of cheer, BUT have a week sans ds2
(Am actually missing him quite a bit already)
Interesting about junk food and period pain. Typical that what you crave should be what's worst for you. Why does your body do that?
Aw, you're bound to miss him Lamb, but you know that doesn't mean you don't need the break. Do you have anything planned - or just the enjoyment of a quiet tidy house?
I have eaten waaay too much chocolate this weekend, but am still standing firm on my plans to get right back into things properly come Wednesday.
I have all ds1's presents to wrap up this evening, but have told him he won't be getting a fancy cake, as I'm just not up to it. I will throw him together a lemon drizzle cake tomorrow, as that's his favourite - just realised, we might not have any birthday candles though. [crap mother emoticon]
I have ds2 sitting here with me, waiting to see if his temp comes down. He really seems ok in himself to be honest - well apart from going a bit limp every now and again and being a bit short tempered, but is still coughing intermittently and spiking temps up to 38.7. Going to call the GP for advice in the morning, as tomorrow it will have been 7 days since I first recorded a high temp and I'm pretty sure he was having them for a few days before that, but didn't actually use a thermometer to check.
Everything I've googled (yes, I know I shouldn't have) seems to suggest its not desperate if he seems happy in himself, which he does. (Quite apart from anything else, if chocolate eating capacity was indicator of health, he'd have to be described as fighting fit! ) So I'm not panicking, but I would like some professional advice at this point I think.
My pfb is 10 today! He's had a lovely day, had his best friend round to play, gorgeous sunshine, lots of lovely presents and a good dollop of cash to spend at Legoland as well, so he's a happy bunny.
Called the docs first thing about ds2 and they said to bring him in again, as it has been 12 days since he first became ill. Doc sounded doubtful at first and said he would check for a bacterial source, but there are a lot of long-running viruses that are taking a good 12 days to die off around at the moment and it may just be one of those. Then he listened to his chest .... and his face fell. He said its not quite pneumonia, but it is a lower lobe infection and needs anti-b's and careful monitoring, especially given ds's history. Its the same side and position as the pneumonia that amost encapsulated, so very worrying even though we've caught it before it gets really serious.
Ds2 pulled a face at having antibiotics again so I said, "Oh well ds, at least it means you'll be better in time for your birthday." (birthday is on the 18th) to which the doc said, "Mmm, well perhaps, but don't count on it." He's asked me to watch him closely for signs he may be getting worse and take him straight back if I am at all concerned. I know it usually takes a couple of courses of anti-b's to clear his chest completely though, so realistically, we'll be lucky if he's properly better in time for Legoland at the end of the month.
Popped into the supermarket while I was waiting for ds2's prescription and stocked up on loads of salad stuff, ready for my new start tomorrow. Unfortunately we still have far too many goodies in the house, but I'm going to be strong and stick to my guns. I have one small easter egg to scoff tonight and then I'm going cold-turkey as of breakfast tomorrow. Dh says he's dreading it! I am too truth be told, the first few days are always hell, but well worth doing, so I'm going to try and focus on the potential gains and try to grit my teeth through the withdrawal.
I shall be weighing-in properly this Friday and building up an new weekly breakdown from there - like I did when I was still doing things properly last year. I'm determined to get down to at least 10 stone 4 pounds, but preferably 10 stone zero, by our 20th anniversary in July.
Lamb, hope you are making the most of your child-free time and loving having a home that stays tidy once you've finished the housework etc.
TLP, hope you're doing ok and still up for getting stuck back into this weightloss malarkey.
Madwoman, I know you aren't here, but hope you're enjoying your trip back home and the weather is being kind to you.
had a lovely trip and fab to see everyone. weather not too bad, mostly (but not as nice as it was for the two weeks before, obv). am now knackered and have a houseful of jetlagged children. deep joy. well, dd2 anyway. the wailing in the early hours wasn't great, but at least everyone was up early and no-one missed the school bus for a change...
poor ol' ds2, moose. pneumonia stuff scares the crap out of me tbh. ds1 is similar, and have also been in the same situation where the gp has said 'no crackles, lungs seem fine' only to be told an hour later after a chest x ray that he has double pneumonia and needs massive meds and nebulising 5 times a day to try and get it under control. <shudder> really hope he responds to the anti-b's quickly x
tlp - yay for 13 stone! all going in the right direction. i'm back up to 12 after the hols but was back to boot camp this morning (urgh to exercising with jet lag) and am off to find my book to menu plan for the next couple of weeks to see if i can get shifting again.
lamb, 10 stone and a tankini woooo!
Welcome back madwoman!
Glad you had a nice trip, but don't envy you the aftermath of tired children and inevitable washing mountain. Am very impressed at you bootcamping it with jetlag!
Thanks for the well-wishes re ds2. His temp was inching up to the high 38s at bedtime, so we're keeping everything crossed that the anti-b's kick in soon.
I'm a bit cross with myself for not taking him back sooner, but then I'm pretty sure it would have been a huge fight to get them to take me seriously - not that that's an excuse. He's been remarkably chipper through it all really and I think that made me doubt my gut feelings about how ill he really is. In the past he's always lost his appetite and just wanted to sleep or lie on the sofa, so his lack of apparent 'poorliness' wrong-footed me a bit.
ds1 was the same. it was just as though he'd lost his voice (and the temp). he seemed fine in every other way... scary, though. i'm totally neurotic about chests, now. good luck for tonight!
Same with ds2, his voice goes all thin, squeaky and quiet - and ds2 is never quiet, he is usually either loud or asleep! I pointed this out to the doctor on the first visit last week, but at the time ds2 had a sore throat and his his neck glands were up, so he just put down to 'a virus'. I wish I was better at face to face confrontation, as I feel like such a crap mum for not pushing harder and getting him anti-b's last week.
He slept well last night. Woke him in the small hours to give him his anti-b's and take his temp, which fortunately hadn't climbed any higher. He was actually up early this morning as he wanted to watch ds1's new Star Wars Clone Wars movie with him, but he's obviously not well. I think he did too much yesterday, as he wanted to join in with ds1 and his friend. He's been told its strict rest today, but I have relented to let him play ds1's new Lego board game with him, so he's sitting on the bedroom floor with his duvet at the moment.
I've been keeping busy this morning, so I don't think about food - especially not the sugary variety. Had a small bowl of apple porridge for breakfast and am limiting myself to one cup of decaff coffee a day for a few days and drinking detox tea instead in the hope of getting through the sugar withdrawals a bit more quickly. Salad for lunch and tea today and am going to attempt a workout when dd goes down for her nap later. Already have a toxicy headache though, so that doesn't bode well.
Well, dd1 is looking at me balefully but didn't appear crying during the night. She claims she woke up at 3 but went back to sleep twice for two minutes each time. She does look rough as chuff, but I think we are getting somewhere... The news chez mad this morning is that my kettle has gone on strike over night, so. I am boiling water for tea on the stove and twitching slightly... That might help me reduce the caffeine levels this week!!
Today I will be showing Davina what I'm made of and finishing my menu planning from my book... If I can find it. I spent an hour yesterday looking for it, but have put it down somewhere. Read it just before we went back to uk, so know it's here somewhere <ponders>. This obv means I also need to tidy up!
<dh also told our realtor that we were going to put the house on the market. On the day that I decided we should wait another year but hadn't got around to telling him so that's another reason to declutter again!>
Are you moving again Madwoman? I'm very . You're positively nomadic compared to us, we've been stuck in the same godforsaken miniature house for the past 9 years now.
I have just managed to get through a level one shred. First workout since 10th March, so I am quite pleased with that really. My legs were a tad wobbly by the end, but I kept up and got through it all without collapsing. Of course I am now far too tired to do anything else for the rest of the day, which is not quite so good.
Had a lovely salad with for my lunch and have more of the same for my evening meal. Dh actually looked quite jealous of my lunch when I presented him with his sandwiches.
Here's my news - I am going to start learning to drive again on Sunday! <<wibble>> Mum is having the dcs for an hour, while dh takes me out in our old car. Just going to go somewhere like a business park that'll be quiet on a Sunday and re-acquaint myself with the pedals and controls etc on the first time out, but then he's going to take me out a couple of times a week and I've found a fairly cheap local driving instructress that I'll ring once I get my confidence back. I'm very nervous about it, but the timing feels right and I feel like I need to do it now, for myself as much as anything else.
Well, not necessarily moving... We'll stay in the same town, but we did discuss whether it was worth trying to sell this miniature pad and get something we can fit all the kids and dogs into (pref with a garden. It's a total pita having to walk the doggits so often when they need a pee.) even if it sells (big if) we'll lose a hundred thousand dollars at least, but suppose we have to accept that the house we buy will also be less than we would have paid a few years ago when we bought this place. We shouldn't be in negative equity as we put quite a lot down, but it does stick in your throat a bit.
I'm still doubtful that it will sell. There are literally gazillions of similar properties in this here town (all thrown up as holiday homes) and ours is at the really pricey end. And lots of desperate sellers willing to do pretty much anything to shift theirs (most of which are empty and ready to go) whereas ours is stuffed to the gunnels with family claggage and obv we can't do anything about buying until it sells. The joy of living in a tourist trap.
A very lovely tourist trap.
Well done for exercise and food! You sound totally back on track. My trip seems to have recharged my batteries a bit as well, and I'm a lot more positive about things I was definitely ignoring and avoiding before I went, so i'd better make the most of my positivity!!
Oo, driving. it took me a good ten years to be confident. I passed my test at about 23/ 24 or so, but then didn't drive for the next few years. It was only when we moved to Germany and I was pg with dd1 that I really started driving at all. And despite me driving back to the uk, and doing quite a lot of really long journeys solo, it's only the last five years that I can honestly say I don't fret when I get behind the wheel. I still can't parallel park or reverse. I can get myself out of trouble if I need to, but really it's a good job I live in Canada. The parking spaces are huge. it used to be a standing joke at work that I deliberately broke the rules. (we were supposed to reverse park outside the building). There would be a whole row of cars all neatly reverse parked, and mine, driven in. It used to drive everyone up the wall, but I was adamant it was far safer that way. In the end they gave up asking me, as I would just grin and refuse, or chuck them my car keys and tell them to turn it round. even the parking nazi on the top floor would just roll his eyes instead of marching round the building demanding to know whose vehicle it was.
Ah, happy days. If I can do it, you can.
Sounds like selling is going to be stressful then Madwoman.
By your reckoning I should just about be driving regularly around my mid-50s! I had to giggle at your refusal to reverse park - I had a colleague that used to do that years ago. She would drive round carparks for hours until she found a space she could drive into and out of without using reverse. I shouldn't laugh though, as I suspect I will be the same.
I just pointed out to dh this morning that I am no longer insured on the car, so we can't actually start until he's sorted that out. Not holding my breath there as he hasn't managed to do one thing I've asked him this week so far.
Well, I am in agony this morning - I've been shredded! It's not as bad as it was first time round, I can still sit on the toilet without lowering myself down slowly using my arms and I can actually walk up and downstairs - just not very quickly.
Managed to stick to plan yesterday and so far today, but am seriously not looking forward to my workout today. Everything hurts and I have a horrible withdrawal headache, but I am not going to let it beat me. If I don't push through it now, I'll never get back to where I was, let alone any slimmer and fitter than that.
I was feeling really ropey this morning, and even had a bizarre dizzy spell similar to the ones I was having during that neuro summer... But I seem to be ok. Boot camp was hideous. still alive, though. V hard work, which I think is as a result of the carb dropping. My recovery rate after the class is definitely improving though - although I am getting muscular soreness the day after lol (and the day after that - I did chuckle at 'i've been shredded'). The drinking loads of water and eating straight after seems to be keeping the migraines at bay though, so it looks like it was bog standard dehydration etc.
I've got over my shame about being a living cliche on the driving front. I'm functional. . Keep nagging dh about the insurance, I'm a firm believer that if you think now is the time, then now is the time.
Urgh, busy day today. But at least I've got a new kettle! I can't do complete caffeine withdrawal...
You had a dizzy spell and then went to bootcamp anyway! <<stern look and wagging finger>>
You've put me to shame. After saying I wasn't going to let it beat me this morning, I went on a painkiller hunt to get me through the morning until workout time and found we'd only got cocodamol, no ibuprofen or paracetamol. Mum was here and persuaded me to take some, because my head was so bad and that was it .... I was knocked out for the rest of the day, pretty much. By the time they'd worn off it was too late to get a workout in, so I decided to face up to typing all the changes to ds1's proposed statement instead. Been sat here ever since, typing away and I still have section 3 to do. <<sigh>> It is just typing up my notes though, so not much actual thinking involved - luckily!
After reading chocjunkie's thread in SNs where the LEA just ignored all the amendments she sent in and issued a final statement exactly the same as the proposed one, I also rang our statementing officer and got her to agree to call me to discuss it if there are any changes they don't want to make. She also said she will probably issue a second proposed statement if there are a lot of changes anyway. We had a brief chat about what the changes are like and she said she couldn't forsee a problem, especially as the school are already happy with them all. I have drafted a letter confirming our conversation ready to go with the amendments, so, fingers crossed it will all go smoothly.
Also finally managed to get through to Legoland to sort out ds1's dietary requirements. They actually gave me the restaurant's direct line number and I spoke to a lovely lady who couldn't have been more helpful. She's booked us a table for our evening meal and typed a message for the chef to take note a week beforehand of ds's special dietary needs, including being coeliac, vegetarian and not eating potato - unless its chips. I did explain that he has autism and isn't just a fussy eater and she obviously understood, because straight away she knew that meant he was likely to self-restrict on certain foods. I was very impressed.
So, not a wasted afternoon exactly, but not much cop on the diet and exercise front - and my muscles still hurt like b*****y!
Glad you've got a new kettle - I couldn't live without mine either.
That all sounds really positive. (statement and legoland lol)
I've been a right hormonal cow today and it doesn't make sense. And have erupted in huge acne boils over the last couple of days. V attractive. Am hoping it's just the change in water or something weird. Not expecting pmt for another week or two!! Might have to limit my time on mn as I seem to be excessively mardy and upsetting people... And am reet annoyed by the trivia that dominates people's lives.
Cocodomal wipes me out completely. I can't believe you can type!
I read somewhere that longhaul flights can mess your cycle up, so maybe that's it? You have been pushing yourself a bit this week what with traversing the globe and bootcamping. Maybe you just need a couple of days to adjust?
Don't disappear, come here and rant, it'll do you a power of good and we won't mind a bit.
Had a funny turn meself at tea-time. Got up to try and cook the dcs' tea, not long after I posted on here and went decidedly odd. Dh came home and found me clinging onto the worktop, literally shaking all over, unable to hold onto the bowl I was trying to fill with soup and with my legs doing a kind of funky chicken dance all of their own. I don't think it had anything to do with the cocodamol, because I took that this morning, so it should have completely worn off and been out of my system. Came to lie on the sofa and have been here ever since, still feel shaky, but am ok-ish as long as I don't try to stand up or move.
Here's hoping its just a blip and we both have a better day tomorrow.
Well I've weighed-in and it seems all my painful muscles have grabbed a load of water, so I'm 2lbs up on Wednesday.
Friday 13 April 157lbs
Hopefully the water weight will come off in a couple of days and I'm hoping I'll lose a pound as well, but I'm not confident so I'm going to set next week's target at 155lbs to be back where I was before I started working out.
I could barely move from muscle stiffness this morning and everything hurt, so decided the only thing for it was to get stuck in again and push through the pain. Did 20 minutes on the exercise bike as an extra warm up, in the hope of loosening up my leg muscles and then a level one shred. I nearly cried with the pain in my calves when I had to start doing jumping jacks, but it did get better as I went along. Still very sore, but at least I can move now.
I remember this from last time I started shredding and know from experience that you just have to keep going until you work your way through it. Its seriously no fun though. Trying to keep my eye on the prize (and not on my belly jiggling up and down in the mirror [blush).
Right, off to be honest with MFP now. <<sigh>>
Urgh. But like you say, it's pretty normal when you get back into it, so not unexpected.
I am 11. 13 1/2, so I have lost half a pound. I'm actually chuffed, because that's since Monday when I weighed, so I've only been back on the wagon proper for less than a week.
I haven't restarted mfp since I got back, but will deffo be back on there today. I feel kinda positive! (and also kinda sore and achey. Not quite sure what the physio is going to make of my elbow today when the rest of me is equally tight and sore!!)
Glad you got over your funny turn as well. We are a pair. <sigh>
Where are our lost compadres?
Well done at losing half a pound in less than a week.
I am finding logging properly on mfp again is helping. I really hated logging a rise in weight today, but it had to be done and at least I'll get to see the nice downward slope again once it starts shifting.
No more funny turns today, but still have tremors in my hands, which is making it surprisingly hard to get a spoonful of coffee into a cup. I was pretty frightened by it last night, but am more philosophical today. I know I have something, I know it makes my body do odd things and I also know that unless I properly collapse, the docs aren't worried enough to do anything about it, so I just have to get on with it and hope that never happens really.
Lamb is child free this week, so probably out and about enjoying the freedom. Not sure about TLP though.
That should have read 'well done for losing half a pound'
Aaarrrrgghhh! That's the sound of a Moose who has just woken her dd up from her nap to find she has an underarm temperature of 39.2. She seems perky enough at the moment, but says her head hurts in the middle of her forehead, she's got very red cheeks and you could fry eggs on her head.
Just when ds2 was starting to feel better and his temps have stopped as well. <sigh>
Might just have got overheated under the duvet? Give her a drink and see how she goes. She'll probably be fine in half an hour.... <crosses fingers>
Nope. I thought she felt hot when I took her up, but figured maybe I was just cold, iyswim. When I went up she was snoozing on top of the duvet, so obviously felt too hot.
Took her temp again half and hour and two drinks later and it was still 39. She's saying ow when she moves her head too quickly now as well. Have given her some calpol and am just waiting to see if her temp comes down with that.
She's usually pretty resilient, rarely gets proper poorly or poorly for days and days, so hopefully it will just be a 24/48 hour virus. <crosses fingers - and legs for good measure>
Deep joy. Still, at least it's the weekend, so you won't be on your own with poorly kids....
All hail, calpol. Do your thing!
Temp is down to 38 now and she seems happier. Dh just walked in and she practically leaped on him. Poor bloke looked very as he was expecting her to be lounging around looking pale and interesting. Gotta love that Calpol magic!
Have managed to stick to my diet today. Salad already prepared and waiting for me in the fridge and I now have a grumpy dh, because I've told him to make his own tea!
That's good. Gotta love calpol.
Have had one coffee shop meeting already today but made sure I ate sensible breakfast before I went, and have another one this afternoon and am filling up on tuna salad for lunch so that I'm not tempted by the buns
So far, so good.
Friend from not for profit was in a bit of a pickle this morning as she's got a lot of friends who are leaning on her to get through v hard emotional times, and she's completely running on empty trying to recharge everyone else's batteries. She turned up weeping, but trying to get herself together, so it was half business, and half trying to fortify her for the next round. We also bumped into another friend from the same board, and he ordered a breakfast bagel and a huge plate of fried deliciousness. You would have been v proud of my abstinence! It would have been v easy to do sugar and sympathy!
Will steel myself to be as good this afternoon. Tea shop with lovely jasmine tea, so can look forward to that and ignore the sweet treats. It helps that I'm skint, too.
Hope you and dd are both right as rain in the morning (and that dh recovers his equanimity!) x
Well, her temp never got any lower than 38 and was back up to 38.3 at bedtime, but she doesn't appear to be feeling very ill, so I'm not too worried.
I am very impressed with your strategy for avoiding coffee shop temptation. I'd be dreadful in that situation, it just doesn't feel right to me to only have a coffee when there's a shop full of cake to be eaten.
Even more impressed that there was the whole tea and sympathy excuse available to you and you still stood strong. <<takes hat off to madwoman>>
Dh decided to retaliate for having to make everyone else's tea by cooking chips. I stayed in the living room to eat my salad, well away from temptation.
Ya gotta love this town - it's apparently cupcake Friday. I did only have jasmine tea, but I did buy Ds a cupcake. They looked amazing, and they had a v impressive selection of gf as well!
I am dead proud of myself!
Urgh, right, now tidying the house before physio. Friends from out of town coming round later and it is a tip. <sigh>
Fingers crossed for dd. (and bah to chippery)
You have an offical cupcake day!
Well done for resisting the temptation. You are rightly proud of yourself.
Dd had a temp of 39.5 in the night, even though she was only sleeping in vest and pants with just a thin blanket over her legs. She was red all over and I started panicking that it might be measles, so didn't get much sleep myself for checking on her. Its down to 38 this morning and despite looking pretty awful, she insists she doesn't feel poorly and is behaving quite sprightly.
Weighed myself again this morning and I am down to 154 lbs, so am feeling much happier now and hoping for 153 by next Friday. It's also motivated me to stick with the shred, level 1 - day 3 today and not looking forward to it, at all.
Sounds virusy... Probably another couple of days and then she'll pick up?
Yay, for 154!
It is snowing this morning. big fat spring flakes. Two inched on the balcony and still snowing hard. Everyone else is off skiing today in an hour or so, and I have put my name down for a workshop on brain development this afternoon. Typical! <truthfully it was because I'm curious about the speaker/facilitator - she's a paed neurologist but university based, and has daughters who volunteer in the disability community. So I'm just being nosy, really. Not sure if it will be useful, it's primarily early years, which mine are done with, but my interest was piqued... Suspect it will be nt development based anyway, but she looked knowledgeable, lol. Am really after networking opportunities!>
Oh, and good luck with the shred!
The workshop sounds really interesting and as you say, there's the potential to make some good connections.
We don't have snow, but it's blooming cold here today and I have had to sit here looking for a swimsuit, because the dcs want to go in the Pirate Adventure swimming pool at the hotel when we go to Legoland. The last time I wore a swimsuit I was 17 years old and weighed 7st 4lbs! I can't find anything I would be brave enough to wear - only a victorian full body suit will do the job really, but I have a feeling I might feel a bit daft in one of those. I don't want to spend much, as I'm unlikely to wear it again, so am watching a couple of 1950's style suits on ebay. It would be so much easier if I didn't still have a 34GG chest, that happen to have bf 3 dcs, so need serious scaffolding to look anywhere near acceptable. I have some Bravissimo vouchers, but am loathe to spend £46 on a costume I'll never use again, when I could do with some new undies.
I was totally when I got on the scales this morning, having watched it go up and up so far this week. I am so relieved though, as I was starting to think I may actually have gained 6lbs in weight, rather than just water weight. Now its looking like I've only gained 3lbs, which I can cope with.
Dd is still doing ok. Temp still high, hovering between 38 and 38.6, but lively enough and wanting to play etc. I'm sure her temp will rocket again at bedtime, as is the way with these virusy things.
Enjoy your workshop, let me know how it goes.
Well, things have gone a little off track here... Ds threw a complete and utter hissy and made everyone late leaving the house for skiing as apparently he didn't want to go. So he just sat upstairs when he was supposed to be getting ready. And then threw a total wobbler.
Soooooooo, now I am left here on my tod with a crying and angry ds1, and have to come up with some plausible reason why I've brought my child to the workshop. Who may or may not be dressed by that point. And who is now apparently throwing stuff around and trying to come through the floor. <sigh> it also sounds as though he is flipping the electrics on and off, so better go before he blows the switches. <sigh>
Well, we got over that blip and he was a doll the whole afternoon at the presentation. They had a free childcare session, but as he was by far the oldest he went back and forth as he pleased, just hanging out in the back of the room reading, or going to play with the little ones.
Presentation really interesting. Nothing I didn't know already, lol, but it did put it all together, which was nice, as it was just stuff I've gleaned from all over. She did quite a bit about the effects of cortisol on the developing foetus <yes, ds1, that's you> and quite a bit about neuroplasticity <yes, dd2, that's you> and also a teeny bit about adult brain injury <yes, dh, that's you>. I hung around afterwards for a bit wanting to have a chat, but there was something of a queue, so I left. I do have her email address though, so I think I might drop her a line, ESP re ds1, to see if she has any suggestions regarding reading etc.
Dd1 had her dress rehearsal for the dance comps today, and weirdly I bumped into tone of the organisers of yesterday's presentation, because her dd also dances. She came up and asked if she recognised me from yesterday and I said yes, and explained why I fetched up in a brain workshop. She was faintly weirded out I think. particularly as the first thing she said was 'did I see you yesterday at the presentation with your son?' and she congratulated me on how well behaved he was.... needless to say she had nooooooo idea that an hour before he had been in full on meltdown throwing stuff around. <sigh>
Ach, anyway. Psych appointment tomorrow, which is supposed to be dh and I as follow up to ds's first two appointments, but dh can't make it. I know the psych isn't going to be happy, but she'll have to suck it up. Then beginneth the dance competition marathon. Tomorrow is dd1's first solo. two more group dances on weds, then one on sat. So I need to be organised, as there's lots of hanging around and I don't want to resort to eating crap...
Hope you had a quiet weekend, and dd is on the mend...
Hope everything is ok!
Psych session interesting. I did a huge mind dump (v useful to have the session today after Saturday's workshop lol, and ds's meltdown) and the psych said she would need to have a think... I talked a lot about environment particularly in the realm of whether it was better to seek out the cause and try to change environment, or medicate to cope with environment (tee hee) and also raised the dd2 thing - we didn't have a choice with her, there is no medication to 'fix' cp, so would it be better to look towards more environmental supports in the short term for ds1 (with the hope that this will help him 24/7, rather than the medication that works 8-10 hours a day but doesn't resolve underlying cause...). She was very interested. I know she's paid to be, but it seemed that she was genuinely pondering what I was confused about, and was thinking it through herself, rather than trying to 'fit' it into preconceived boxes.
She did say it was a really good sign that he was initially not keen on the homeschool thing, because it showed he was valuing peer relationships (ie he hadn't given up on them or got to the point of not caring) and she felt this was promising for the future, even given his difficulties in peer group interactions, because he might be able to use that 'desire' to connect with peers to alter some of his other social characteristics.
And I met my friend afterwards as she wanted someone to restart couch to 10k with her.
So, so far, so good today. Need to get healthy lunch into me, as off to the city later...
Sorry Madwoman, I've had my head immersed in this damned proposed statement for the last two days. Still not finished my amends, but it's starting to shape up at least. Managed to identify a missing objective and some areas that are covered under needs in part 2, but not under provision in part 3 (which wasn't easy, considering how chaotically the whole thing has been thrown together). I have to hand deliver it tomorrow, so will probably be up half the night on it as well.
Just had to have chips from the chip shop for tea, as I didn't have time to cook - and I haven't been able to fit in a shred for two days.
Dd is much better thanks. She never did develop any symptoms, just raging temps for a few days and looking very pale with big black rings under her eyes. She appears to have got over it now though, which is what I thought, she seems to have a much better immune system than the rest of her shonky family.
Ds2 is still not right though. He's been playing in my Mum's garden for quite a bit today and ended up with sore ankles, knees and feet. He was definitely looking very pale and wan by bedtime and was bursting into tears every few minutes. Finished his anti-b's today, so it seems a second course is in the offing - again.
Glad your ds calmed down after his meltdown and was a little star during the workshop. I love it when they pleasantly surprise us like that.
Am sending good luck dd to your dd for her dance comp - hope it all goes really well for her.
Psych appointment sounds really interesting and positive. It will be interesting to see what she comes up with re the medication vs environment thing.
The peer group thing is interesting as well. Ds1 had all but given up on his peers and friendships when he was in year 3 after really struggling and being on the receiving end of some awful bullying, but, he also flatly refused to be home schooled and has now come full circle, enjoying the company of his peers and even starting to make some new friends. These days (year 5) I can definitely see him gradually learning the skills he needs to get by socially, whereas back then all I could think about was not putting him through the pain and upset anymore.
Couch to 10 eh? You're going to be super-fit come the summer with all this working out.
Right, best get back to it.
Oh well done getting to grips with it. Nearly there! You won't know what to do with yourself when it's all finalised! <hollow laugh>
Glad dd is ok, and <sigh> for Ds. Ds1 here was always resistant to one ab, but they insisted on using it first every time, because the one that worked was one of the 'old school' anti-b's. We always ended up on it anyway, but it did make me cross that procedurally he had to have something that wasn't going to work first, potentially worsening the situation. I think after about the fourth time we got a sensible doc, and when I asked for the old ab off the bat, he actually looked at the records and listened to me and prescribed it.
Right, boot camp today. Not looking forward to it. Tired and feel old and creaky!
Got back at about 11.15 last night with dd1 <so she's knackered as well> but she picked up a silver, so felt good about her performance. She did make a mistake though, and was noticeably less polished than everyone else, so she has a lot of work to do. <she made me laugh - I picked her up from school and she was wearing wellies.and had no other shoes with her except her taps, which weren't allowed in the lobby of the theatre or anywhere except backstage. So she was wandering round the venue <and indeed the city> looking like a total hick. Well, a total hick with full slap including false eyelashes lol, but definitely fish out of water stuff!>
Good luck for getting the statement squared away today. <and healthy vibes for Ds>
Well, I was up until 2.00 am and worked on it again from 9.30 until 2.30 today, but it's done and I've finally delivered it.
They said they are probably going to issue another proposed statement prior to finalising it, as we have so many changes and will call me to discuss any amendments they're really not happy about.
Statementing officer isn't in until Thursday now, so its just a case of waiting to see what they say/do. I'm still not completely happy with it to be honest, I'd like the objectives to be easier to monitor and for the the 1:1 bod to have clear reporting and responsibility/accountability lines detailed, but the content is all there and the for the most part the provision meets the needs - just a couple of needs not clearly covered by the provision and I've queried those.
I'm exhausted and the dcs are literally driving me up the wall. Ended up completely losing it with the boys this morning over their continued fighting, tale telling and refusal tidy their
Ds1 is being an absolute nightmare, constantly on at the other two, correcting them, telling them to be quiet and stop moving/making a noise/breathing and regularly making ds2 cry with his vitriol, as well as being convinced every five minutes that he's accidentally eaten/swallowed something poisiononous, or touched something toxic - and that's not even getting started on how rude and cheeky he's been to me.
I can't wait for them to go back to school really, which makes me really because I was hoping we could have a nice relaxing break without all the school stress. I suppose its symptomatic of almost 3 weeks stuck at home with the dcs (because ds2 was off sick for a week before the holidays started).
It's ds2's birthday tomorrow and he has two friends coming over from 2.00 pm until 6.30 pm, but dh has booked the afternoon off, so at least I'm not on my own.
The house is a disaster area, I need to bake a birthday cake for ds2 and a gf one for ds1, because he can't and won't eat the chocolate, gluten-filled one ds2 is having and I haven't wrapped his presents yet either.
Congratulations to your dd on winning silver - loving the picture of her fully glammed up and flopping about in wellies.
I don't reckon I'll get another workout in until Thursday, so that will be five days since my last workout. Also have to confess to a trip to Druckers with Mum and the dcs after handing in the statement. Mum persuaded me I deserved a reward and weak willed as I am, I had an enormous piece of chocolate, cream cake.
There seems to be something every week that gets in the way of me getting properly back into things and I'm starting to get cross with myself and really frustrated by it. Roll on next week when everyone is back to school and my time (and my ears) will be my own again!
Mm, blooming rl getting in the way of everything. It's always us that end up not being able to do things we want to though, never anyone else.... <sigh>
You'll get there. Sometimes priorities just have to be worked out.
Hope the cake/s are perfect and that ds2 is enjoying his birthday. You should be mid - party at the mo!
I'm back off to the city with dd1 for dance this afternoon, and dh is coming home early to get the other two from school. Thank goodness, it was a nightmare on Monday night as Ds literally couldn't stand still. Or sit still. He spent the whole night charging around the foyer or sitting in the theatre flapping the seat of his chair up and down. It was his own fault. He hadn't eaten anything all day and was refusing to eat his lunch. The snack bar only sold chocolate, and he went and bought some whilst I was sorting dd1. So he was on a massive sugar high on an empty system, and flatly refusing to eat anything that might even him out. <sigh> he doesn't help himself, sometimes. I know it must be a drag, but you'd think he'd realise when it has such a huge effect! And of course his meds had worn off as well...
Right. Better get on. No exercise today as I am feeling v creaky. Boot camp yesterday was hard. Earlier back tonight, so no bother about crap food either.
found you again! thought you had all gone v quiet over Easter. Sorry to hear about the various unwell children. House will I am sure virtually sort itself once your DS's are back at school Moose. Hope the statement review goes well.
Moose - what exactly is this bootcamp? How many hours a day how many days a week?
Hi, <<whispers>> I'm hiding while dh cooks the tribe pizza.
Cheated in the end and bought a generic chocolate birthday cake for ds2 and a shop bought gf victoria sandwich for ds1. Couldn't face the stress of baking on top of everything else that needed to be done. Ds2 is such a sweetie, he just said "that's ok, especially as it looks extra-extra chocolatey". If I hadn't made a cake myself for ds1 there would have been major trauma!
Managed to get all the housework done with half an hour to spare. Good job I did as one of the Mum's had to come in when she dropped off her ds. Our house doesn't present itself well even when it's clean and tidy, because its very small and very full, so if the housework hasn't been done it tends to resemble a cross between a junk-shop and a warzone. Its just about passable when the housework has just been completed, but deteriorates very quickly.
Ds1 has been struggling with having a house full of children this afternoon. He came down to see me and got really upset. I gave him a cuddle and he was literally shaking, really anxious about them being in his room, all the noise and chaos etc and making excuses why he didn't want to play with them, but not in a state where he could choose something else to do.
We talked it through and it turns out this is what happens to him at school if his best friend isn't there. He perked up when they got the DSes out to play some multi-player games and then dh took them all to the park to burn off some energy. He seems to have come back feeling much happier, although he's obviously struggling to keep up socially. Only two younger boys here as well - reminds me why we haven't invited many friends around over the years.
Dh said he couldn't believe how rude, cheeky and bolshy the other boys were when he took them to the park. Not to mention the lack of toilet flushing and hand washing and coming straight out the toilet room to eat pizza with their hands! I'm starting to think we must be very strict compared to some of the other parent's around here.
Good luck to your dd again for tonight. Hope she brings back another prize. You should be able to enjoy it more as well with not having to supervise ds.
My boot camp? Tis spinning and something called boot Pilates <which seems to revolve around putting one isolated area of your body under intense workload> and bosu. I only go twice a week, but it runs four times, for an hour.
Lol at you hiding, moose. well done on finding a stress free fix for the cake scenario. Quite right. Sometimes good enough is good enough. Doesn't stop the maternal guilt thang, but it really is good enough.
Poor ds1. But interesting that it put him in a position where he could relate it to other events, too? Lol at dh. Mine is exactly the same - he moans about how awful our kids are with behaviour and whatnot, and then when he comes into contact with other kids, gets a good dose of reality. . And I think that we have to remember that to an extent, rules and discipline regarding behaviour are what helps to keep interesting families sane. Imagine how hard ds1 would find it with no expectations at all? No routine, no order...
Well, hopefully the pizza went ok, and you managed to relax a bit after the chaos of the last few days.... Shred today?
How ya doing, tlp? Weighing tomorrow?
Hi TLP, hope you had a good Easter break.
Madwoman, I do feel really guilty for not doing the boys proper fancy birthday cakes, but it was that or collapse.
Ds1 didn't actually manage to relate how he was feeling to how he feels at school. Twas me asking gentle but probing questions that managed to connect up the dots.
He's been even worse today. Started on ds2 and dd first thing, didn't want to play what they were playing because 'its just stupid' but then wouldn't/couldn't find anything else to do because he didn't want to play on his own. <rolls eyes> He spent half of last night ranting because on of ds2's friends built a lego star wars kit ds2 had only had for his birthday that morning, then half of this morning complaining that ds2 wouldn't let him dismantle a kit he'd just spent two hours building just to rebuild it.
Had to stifle a laugh yesterday when he said the reason he won't/can't play with the other kids when his best friend isn't there at lunchtime is because "they just go round shooting at nothing with their fingers. There's not even a gun or anything and they're shooting at nothing for goodness sake Mum, they say they're shooting storm troopers - but there's no-one there!" cue emphatic hand gestures and then .... "and they get cross when I tell them that"! Shouldn't laugh, but sometimes he's just soooo blooming textbook!
Dd has been playing pretend schools this morning. She does it regularly when the boys are at school. First gets on the bench seat in the window and rows there in her little boat, then I have to be the teacher and she chooses a lesson, then lunch and playtime. This morning we had a music lesson involving a tambourine and a recorder. You can imagine how well this went down with ds1 today. "That is not a boat it's a bench." "No you are not at school, you are in the living room. You are not old enough to go to school." "That's Mummy not a teacher." etc ad nauseum. Dd was sooo not impressed with him.
Sadly no shred today. I had all these wild ideas about doing a shred and some bfbm between now and Legoland so I don't completely freak out about having to wear a swimsuit in the hotel. Complete denial about the fact I was almost certainly going to crash today - and I have. Been curled up on the sofa desperately googling swimsuits that you don't need a mortgage to buy, yet contain sufficient enough scaffolding to contain a 32 GG/H chest safely in place. I actually bought two suits last week. A sort of sports, boyleg full body one for maximum coverage and a cuter 1950's style poka-dot halterneck. Sadly - neither are anywhere near up to the job. I am now considering a shock absorber tankini top with a pair of generic boyshort bikini bottoms. Whatever I end up with I'll feel nekked in in public. Haven't worn a swimsuit since I was 17 and weighed 7 stone 4.
Hoping I'll feel better and manage some exercise tomorrow. Today I look like someone has blacked both my eyes and simultaneously drawn all the blood out of my body - such a good look!
Also weighed in this morning and am back up to 157 after that incredibly salty pizza last night. Drinking like a fish today in an attempt to flush it all out again.
You know, just do it with the swim suit. Just put one on, grit your teeth, and get in the pool. No-one will bat an eyelid. And once you're in the water no-one can see a blooming thing. Have your towel or a robe ready so that you can use it to transition to louder or whatever, and re-org when you get there.
The more you do it, the less scary it will be. What is the worst that will happen? The absolute worst? No-one is going to point, stare, or laugh, you might get a glance in the same way that you might glance at other people. and you are never going to see anyone again. Ever. Even if your swimsuit tore arse to tit with the incredible pressure of your unseemly body <desperately unlikely > and you were stark nekkid until you grabbed a towel, no-one would know who you were, and it would be a two minute wonder whilst you shuffled off to your room clutching a towel....
I went to a naked spa place once in Hungary. It was freaking terrifying. I don't do nudity <and feel much the same way as you about swim suits> but to have been able to grit my teeth and get through it was kind of interesting. And you do realise that everyone has completely different bodies.
Just do it! No more swimsuit searching (you won't find one you are happy with anyway!) as long as one fits, just grit your teeth and get in the pool. <stands by with pompoms> you can do it!
But be very kind to yourself today. <and swill that salt out>
Why does she row to school? <baffled> and lol for Ds. Poor chap. Sometimes you have to smile. Does he understand the concept of imagination in rudimentary terms, even if he can't experience it in absolute terms? Can you teach him to just chalk it up to them being different?
BUT, what if the same poor people that see me in the pool, then have to eat their dinner in the restaurant at the same time as me - tis bound to put them off eating y'know.
Its not really about what other people might think though, more about me feeling comfortable and not exposed. I even felt embarrassed on my own in the living room when I tried them on. [ridiculous prude emoticon]
I think dd rows to school because she once saw it on Dora the blooming Explorer. She's going to be very disappointed next year when we have a two minute walk to get to her classroom every day.
Ds1 does understand about imagination, for example he's been getting quite good at some times of creative writing recently - although when examined it is all pretty much rooted in his own experiences, but he has zero tolerance for pretend play or overt imaginative behaviour by other people. He's pretty intolerant in general really, but this is one of his absolute pet hates and guaranteed to make him snarl!
Dora has a lot of responsibility in these sorts of situations. <nods sagely>
Those people on the restaurant won't even recognise you with your clothes on.
I know it's about you, really. But gritting your teeth and just doing it. Once. And thn twice, and then maybe even a third time. And then after that it will get easier. Honest.
I do a deliberate 'zone out' en route from the changing rooms to the water. If I'm immobile on a lounger it isn't so bad. It's as though movement and being upright is far worse.
You will be fine. The world will not end because you wore a swimsuit.
Aw you are lovely - but I'm a hopeless case I'm afraid. I used to seriously love swimming, but the fact that I haven't been for nearly three decades kind of gives away how deep seated this is. Daft, but then that's me all over really.
I am going to have to get over it though, because there's no way dh can cope with three young non-swimmers all on his lonesome. Honestly, it's incredible what you will do for your kids that you'd never do if it was just for your own benefit. I used to suffer really badly from social phobia, never spoke to anyone and avoided every social situation I could get away with. Didn't even go to the doctors because I wasn't brave enough to speak to them. Yet now I can deal with paediatricians, psychologists, SENCOs, Head Teachers etc etc because they are children and they have no-one else to stand up for them, so I can't let them down.
Am thinking the two slices of chocolate birthday cake I've had today aren't going to help with my cozzie cowardice though!
Ds1 has cheered up by the way - because they are having a Lego Star Wars battle and they have models that actually shoot!
Oh - spoke too soon - apparently dd is spinning the cockpit on hers round too often and its unrealistic. [sigh]
Exactimo. That's how come I can drive without having a breakdown. blardy kids.
You'll be back to swimming regularly again soon, once you get the first few trips out of the way. And that will be great for your fitness, too! A non weight bearing alternative to the shred!! (for those Urgh days)
Ah. That does remind me of ds's meltdown when dd2 didn't turn off her iPod the right way....
Right, have done a fashion show of my three swimsuit options for dh and actually, I don't look as bad in them as I thought I did, which is good - I think.
The full coverage, boyshort one like this and the one underwired I bought before ds1 was born, but have never worn, were the best of the bunch, although I think I'd be more comfortable with swimskirt over the latter. Will take both and decide on the day I think.
Dd has been winding ds1 up to ridiculous proportions this evening by announcing that she is a guinea pig. Of course this involves a lot of scuttling and squeaking, not to mention refusing to answer to her name 'because guinea pigs can't talk'. She's still a guinea pig now actually. She was so emphatic about it, I was tempted to put a layer of straw in her bed for her to nest in.
DH was never one for pretend play either by his account, DS wasn't too bad once he got over the language delay side of things.
Swimsuits - shudder. If I can go to the pool occasionally at 13stone plus, you can do it too. As I am an apple resembling nowt so much as a pregnant weeble, I go for ruching and high legs. Greenpeace hasn't been called .yet
Think you need to try something less demanding than the shred. 10 minute solution or Pump It Up are quite decent and pacy, without being ridiculously knackering.
Madwoman - still confused about boot camp - is it 1h per day or 4h?
One hour! <faints at prospect of trying to keep going for four hours>
Yay for swimsuits and no one fainting in horror it is good! Tis brilliant. Now get on out there
TLP, had to laugh at Greenpeace not being called. I know the shred is a
few step/s too far, but I know myself well enough t know that if I don't go for broke, I won't go at all, iyswim. I'm my own worst enemy either way round really.
I am also at four hours. Actually I'm also at one hour - the shred might be tough, but at least its only 20 minutes. Even BFBM doesn't go on for an hour. Madwoman - you are well'ard!
No, mostly I am well knackered.
Sooooo, I am 11.13
Half a freaking pound off again. <frustrated>
I know it's been tricky this week what with dance etc, but a bit grr. I did eat an entire bag of cheese flavour popcorn yesterday, which didn't really fit with the whole plan (!) so maybe it's sodium <clutches at straws>. <maybe it's just eating crap, lol>
Stricter next week, no dance, will see whether I can kick start this thang again.
Ds soooooooooo frustrating last night. He had cubs, and there's a really tight switch between dd1 getting in from dance, and him leaving for cubs, so I defrosted a portion of lasagne (home made, he may even have made it himself as he loves cooking lasagne) and did some peas with it for him. Dd2 said 'oooo, goodie, lasagne!' and I said (wait for it) 'oh, no, dd. that's just for Ds as he's in a hurry for cubs'
'can I have lasagne'
'no sweetie, that was just leftovers from before, and there isn't any more'
(I was half way through cooking chicken stew)
Fork down. End of eating. Frozen leftovers are now apparently off the menu as well. Whilst I was trying to explain the blardy concept of a freezer to Ds, and that he'd eaten zillions of meals out of the freezer that had been cooked and frozen, defrosted and reheated, a couple of the bits of chicken overlooked slightly.
The saga meant he sat and refused to move or eat, so didn't go to cubs, and he got down. Dd1 came back from dance and so I dished up chicken stew for all three kids (it was supposed to be for dh and I as well, but Ds hadn't eaten anything all day, so I was getting a bit desperate.)
He found one slightly overdone end of chicken in his second mouthful and put his cutlery down again.
And then. He said. 'is there anything else?'
So yesterday, he ate a yoghurt, half a slice of toast, half a banana, a granola bar, an Easter egg, two mouthfuls of lasagne, and one mouthful of chicken stew. I am tempted to put it into mfp and see what it says.
There is nooooooooo more chocolate in this house. His blood sugar must be all over the place because he's barely eating, and he's flying off the handle about nothing.
So this weekend is going to be getting him back on an even keel. <sigh>
Half a pound is still half a pound Madwoman, it's all going in the right direction. Look at the bigger picture - that's a pound since you came back off holiday.
I on the other am still blooming 157lbs and with the whole swimsuit thing to face up to - this is not good news.
I did manage a level two shred today though, so it's not all bad news.
We've been to a craft centre this afternoon. One we know doesn't do gf meals, so we gave ds1 a sandwich to eat on the way and then bought one each for the other dcs when we got there. Just a plain white roll with grated cheese each - nothing fancy. All three knew they could have icecream afterwards, but ds1 was not happy. Apparently their sandwiches looked delicious and it was unfair and what was he supposed to do while they ate theirs yadda, yadda, yadda. I of course pointed out how we always do our best to find him something to eat, but that it just wasn't possible on this occasion, which is why he ate before we went, but it was no use. Life is just horribly unfair and I favour the other two - apparently. Then when we went up to get the damned icecreams it turns out they actually had gf fruitcake, so we got him some to go with his icecream. It was massive, so I suggested that as his siblings weren't allowed anything but a plain cheese sandwich in an attempt to not upset him and to keep things equal, he might like to share a little of his cake with them - oops, what was I thinking! <sigh>
I should also confess to have zero self control and eating a slice of date and pecan pie. In my defence, I did decline the cream to go on top though! Honestly, I don't know what has happened to my self control around food recently, but I seriously need to get it back.
Things were ok once we went outside and fed the ducks and Mum bought them all a miniature pottery mouse (well and one for me as well actually) though, so the afternoon wasn't a total washout - but would have been better if ds1 hadn't spent the whole time we were out frantically asking when he was going to get DS time and fretting that he might miss it.
Sorry to hear about the food issues with your ds. I think putting it into MFP is a good idea actually. If it was ds1, I would then show him where the computer says he isn't eating enough and will make himself ill, as I think he is probably more likely to listen to a computer than he is to me. Do you think that might work for your ds at all?
I have just realised that ds2 hasn't done his holiday homework, so that's going to be a lovely battle this weekend - great way to end the holidays.
mmmm, fruitcake. i wouldn't have wanted to share either.
blooming food. it was easier when ds was verging on gf, tbh. maybe the 'freedom' of the stuff he's eating is in some way causing his refusals? some sort of control thing as it's not being applied externally at the mo? <ponders>
might do the mfp. it judst popped into my head, but i am quite interested now. either that or it will stop me flapping so much about what he's actually getting in...
he did make me laugh though. his math homework was one of those things wehere there are loads of questions, and then an answer chart where you translate each answer into a latter, and the whole sheet spells out a sentence. well, the title was 'why did the posh potatoes not want their daughter to marry the news broadcaster?' (which i thought was well odd for a math sheet). the answer they had to work out, was of course the punchline to the joke, at the bottom (the answer being 'because he was just a common tater'). ds did his homework, got the answers, wrote them all in, and looked completely baffled. completely. about two hours later he said 'i don't understand my homework', so he had obviously been trying to work out wtaf. i do love him, and he did grasp it once i explained, but the whole marrying potatoes and lord knows what else had sent him into a bit of blank. i think he was just grateful that he had got the answer right, even though he had no idea what it meant.
It was a ridiculously big piece of cake though - bigger than the plate in fact.
Poor ds spending two hours trying to fathom out his homework. Any homework that has you explaining about potatoes getting married is beyond requiring abstract thinking, imho.
oh, the learning support teacher finally called me yesterday (i sent his class teacher a bit of a shirty e-mail as they've had his dx and psych report for four months and the original idea was to move him up) to arrange a meeting for next week. she started gushing about how lovely and wonderful he is, and how motivated, and i had to jump in and remind her that 1-1 he is a doll, but the reason for his referral and assessment was because the school had huge difficulties with him just zoning out and not partaking in his education at all. there was a little pause. so i said 'i do understnad that mrs x thinks things have imporved significantly since he has been on his medication.' another pause. she said she was going to sort out soem things for the next year as he was so good at math, and i just said i thought that was probably a good idea, as there wasn't time left to anything this year, despite the original intention being to move him up to grade 6. she obv felt a bit more confident on that score and started gushing about social/ peer group etc and i said 'i totally understnad that, which is why the psychologist recommended in december that he just be moved up for maths, rather than across the board.' another pause. i said 'you have seen a copy of the report, with the results of the assessment and recommendations?' it was a leetle awkward, but she said 'ooooh, yes, well, we can talk about that next week, ha ha. we don't want to go through everything today, we won't have anything to talk about at the meeting!' in a bright and breezy tone.
she clearly hasn't read it. from what she said, i'm not even sure she realises he has any sn, and she wasn't just supposed to be seeing him because he was quite good at maths.... if she's just been doing a few math papers with him 1-1, which i think is the case, he would probably have seemed like the most engaged child that ever lived. which he is, in that context. <goes for a lie down before head explodes>
Can't believe she hasn't read his reports. Even worse that she thought she was just supposed to be doing extra maths with him.
I have a feeling she might need to be wearing body armour for next week's meeting!
i can't believe we spent that much freaking money getting him assessed on the recommendation of his class teacher (because she could put him on the assessment list through school but there would be a wait due to limited ep time) and the learning support teacher somehow wasn't included - either on the necessity for assessment or intervention. and that she just got a message that said 'might need math extension'
i took the report in personally with instructions that it was for dissemination to the class teacher and learning support. i assume she has actually got it in her file, or that she's going to find the damn thing, because if i get there on tuesday and she still hasn't read it, i suspect she may need the body armour....
i'd like to say i'm surprised, but i guess it shows you that the canadians can be equally as incapable as the uk.
and in the back of my mind, i keep hearing mrs x insisting that now he's on his medication he's doing really well, etc etc. it does make me wonder if my reservations about medication / environment were on the money. i know it shouldn't matter, and if he is doing well, then great. but he seems to be worse in some ways at home than he was before. although the continence seems to be a bit better since the hols...
i'm going to have to go through the current psych stuff as well, with her. as she clearly doesn't know about that, either.
urgh. anyway. tuesday.
that didn't make much sense. just that the meds make him easier to control, i think i meant. saves the effort, and so now he's more malleable, he isn't a concern in the classroom environment...
I understood what you were saying. Thing is, if he's more malleable at school, but finding it harder at home when things wear off, as you said, you still have to consider whether or not it's the best option for him long-term. It's not just about making the teacher's life easier, it's about what's the best type of support for your ds's needs and they need to understand that.
I don't envy you having to get your message across to them. Really hope they've upped their game, read everything and prepared properly before you see them on Tuesday.
I have just looked up the consultant ds2 has been referred to about his hypermobile joints, as he has his first appointment this week. Apparently he's a blooming paediatric immunologist with research interests in PID (Paediatric Immune Disorder) and Meningitis. Right, so he's going to be soooo usefult to talk to about joints and ligaments etc isn't he.
Basically they've just dumped us on a Comm Paed again, who will then have to refer on. Honestly what a waste of everyone's time, not to mention NHS resources.
Poor old ds2 is really suffering at the moment, he's in constant pain and regularly at screaming point it's so bad. He's also started to get extreme cramps in his feet again and has a new problem that seems to be to do with his left hip flexor.
I've been telling him it's ok, because we are seeing the doctor this week and hopefully they will be able to help - but no, instead we will see someone who will go through his entire medical history, most of which is irrelevant, then look puzzled and - if we are lucky - pass us onto yet another waiting list.
The only good thing is that this guy apparently specialises in children who have repeated infections and susceptability to pneumonia. I'm half wondering if there's been some sort of mix up - because afaik, he hasn't been referred for that.
is he the comm paed, though? Has ds2 not already a got a bog standard paed? Might be a silver lining though, with his interests...
The entire system is one big convoluted jumble. <sigh>
There are over 20 Comm Paeds in our PCT. Ds1 has seen two of them. I presume they all have their own research interests and specialisms and just assumed they might think it a good idea to match patients to interests. Apparently not.
I hate the whole Comm Paed thing actually, it's essentially just another GP they send you to who then says 'I don't know enough about this' and either passes you on or puts you on a an endless round of 6 monthly 'monitoring appointments'. It's all just lots of holding appointments and time wasting, imo. The NHS could be streamlined and save so much money if they stopped messing people about like this and considered the most efficient ways to run the service instead of finding endless ways to cook the waiting list books and waste people's time. By the time you get to see anyone who actually knows what they're talking about, things are usually ten times worse than they were when you first went to your GP and could probably have been avoided had you been given earlier treatment.
You are not wrong.
One of dd2's comm Paeds wrote me a letter. I had complained that it was completely ludicrous for dd2 to be carting around a spastic quad cp dx when her muscle tone was lower than low and there wasn't an ounce of spasticity in her body, and there hadn't been for well over a year. We were turning up to places based on a spastic quad dx, and they were looking at me like I was a loon. New physios and ot's were laughing out loud. the special school early years co-ord had put her in completely the wrong group based on her referral paperwork, it was a bit of a nonsense.
I asked if we could lose the 'spastic' bit from the dx, or maybe replace it with something that actually described her presentation.
The letter informed me that there were three sorts of cp, spastic, athetoid, and hemi. I actually called scope, because I couldn't believe that a paediatrician who was responsible for my child knew so little about her condition. I've still got the letter somewhere. I kept it to remind me not to assume a professional knew what they were talking about just by virtue of ending up on their books. Tragic.
I should really have made a formal complaint and asked to change paed, but she was at least doing the referral for a repeat MRI and stuff, so we stayed there. Nuts though. 7 years of med school, and all you learn is to patronise parents....
DS only ever got as far as the comm paed in not getting his ASD DX. So waited over a year to see a comm paed in joint clinic, who could see non-ASD patients in two months (friend's DS had suspected Failure to Thrive). At least the immunology sounds relevant to your DS's non joint-related health issues.
mad - well let's hope a weekend lead in time means she actual bothers reading the report. I can quite see your concern that placid child = school losing motivation to bust a gut with support.
Did great yesterday, level 2 shred, plus 3 circuits of BFBM and really healthy food that ended well within my allowance.
Then today it's all gone to pot again. Been meeting myself coming back, so much for a lazy Sunday.
Ds1 had a pretty major meltdown over a missing game cartridge just as I was supposed to be going out with dh for my first driving lesson. Left me a bit shakey and very wound up, so we ended up going out for lunch instead. One brie and grape baguette, plus slice of coffee and walnut slice (and a promise to myself to make sure I did another double workout) later and I felt just about calm enough to face a stint behind the wheel.
Managed a couple of laps of a local business park carpark. Felt very odd being behind the wheel again after all these years and reckon its going to take a good few more sessions like that before I'll be brave enough to book a proper lesson.
Picked up the dcs from Mum's and have been getting everything ready for back to school ever since. Why does there always have to be so much and why do I always leave it until the last minute? <<slaps forhead>>
Have had to type and print no fewer than three letters to the school, plus a terms worth of feelings diary sheets and help ds2 to redo half his maths homework, as I realised he'd completely missed the point. There also seemed to be a lot of new stuff that needed labelling for some reason, which is a bit odd at this time of year.
Needless to say, I failed dismally to fit my workout in and I now feel far too tired to even attempt one. So we can chalk today up as an fail for both diet and exercise.
I'm supposed to be taking dd to toddler group tomorrow afternoon, but have decided to try and have at least one normal day instead and will hopefully do better than today on both counts.
Hope everyone else has had a more relaxing day than I have.
noooooooooooo. and today is worse.
i have so much to do i've cancelled physio (it appears to be nothing for my elbow/ shoulder anyway, if i'm honest) and am stressing over brownie paperwork. <sigh>
quite why i'm even on mn is another story, lol. but it was far more appealing that making a zillion phone calls and getting bleeding nowhere, which is what has been happening all morning. however, in twenty minutes i have to go drop some paperwork off and collect a file with (i hope) the information i need in it (as they rearranged the entire blardy website and removed everything i need). fingers crossed.
oh, and then plan tonight's meeting. because i haven't done that yet, either. ffs.
hope today is normal for you!!!!!! i have high hopes of wine later, which i know is not the idea, but i'm not sure i care!!! aargh.
I have been very good today, level 2 shred, plus 3 BFBM circuits and healthy food all day, well within allowance. Not bad considering I had to bake with ds2 for his homework and of course the other two wanted to join in, which resulted in a batch of nearly 40 rock buns. Used MFP to work out they are around 190 kcals each and that was enough to put me off ...... for today!
Dd and I had a quiet day today actually (decided not to go to toddlers) and it's been really nice, well after my nightmare phone marathon with Legoland this morning, where it looked for a while like we might not be able to go. They've sorted it now, but I still haven't received our amended tickets by email, so am still stressing about it and will be until they arrive. Still, no tv, no fighting brothers, or melting down/flapping/pacing/ranting ds1, just peace and quiet, so all in all a good day, I think.
Sorry you are under such a lot of pressure Madwoman. The brownies are lucky to have you. Hope you manage to get that it sounds like you both need and deserve it.
i didn't have a glass of wine - i had a coke (probably even worse!) and a slug of dh's beer. and i had sausage and beans for dinner.
feeling a bit more positive today. collected the magic file with everything in it from a friend-who-knows-everything yesterday, and when i dropped the paperwork off at the other lady's house, she emailed someone else and passed on my email address to them, and this morning i have a lovely fresh email with the new soft copies of everything i need. i'm definitely going to photocopy the magic file in its' entirety though. the problem with moving around is that you start from scratch every single time, and everyone just assumes you know who to speak to/ where the campsites are, etc etc. it even occurred to me that i might make a couple of copies, and give them to the other new guiders in these parts as well!
however, on the not so positive side, i am hosting a different board meeting chez mad this evening, and my house is a tip, and i haven't done any of my actions from the last meeting. having organised brownies camp planning for tomorrow night, i need to change hats and get today finished!!!
i'm frankly grateful that i haven't seen a job i'm interested in for two months, though.
have ds1's meeting at school with learning support at noon, though. (this is just as well, because this morning we were out of lunch stuff, and so i need to deliver lunches as well!) now, where is that tail when i want to catch it? will let you know how the meeting goes... i have The File ready.
well done on having such a great day! (and yay for willpower!) i had to pull out of boot camp today as i had so much to do this morning, but i feel okay about it. i think i just have to get this couple of days out of the way, and then the dust will settle again. i think (tmi) my paunch is shrinking though. interesting....
fingers crossed for legoland. when are you going?
that sounded a bit weird... interesting in that the scales are going down oh so slowly, but i think i am smaller, iyswim. i know, i know. get the damn tape measure out. i will, this weekend. i will.
Good to hear you got some help and managed to get copies of everything you need. Sounds like today is very full-on for you as well though.
Good luck with the LS meeting, if I'm not too late. Fingers crossed they will actually have read the reports this time and it will be a productive meeting.
I bet you've lost a load of inches. My weight barely shifted when I was doing the shred first time round, but the number of inches I lost more than made up for it.
I've spent the entire afternoon at the hospital with ds2 getting his leg/joint problem checked out. I was so nervous about going after the GP was so dismissive and said he didn't think ds's joints were that lax, but I needn't have worried.
Paed was actually very good, very approachable, brilliant with the dcs and for once I actually felt listened to and taken seriously. He also seemed to know his stuff, which was a relief for a Comm Paed with specialities/research interests in a completely different area.
He had ds do a variety of different walks and movements, then did a table examination.
All leg ligaments are very loose, with his knees and ankles being particularly unstable. Also tested upper body and found wrists, fingers and thumbs to be very lax. (So what basically what I thought.)
Ds was then sent off for a wide array of xrays on his legs, although the Paed did say everything from the examination indicated that there probably isn't a bone problem, but he wants to rule it out.
Next step is to have his xrays and manipulation results looked at by a Paed Rheum and then they will have us back for the results. In the meantime we have a referral to physio, but no clues as to how long that will take to come in.
Advice in the meantime is to limit excessive weight bearing exercise, but try to build up non-weight bearing, so swimming and cycling basically.
It was a very interesting appointment, as more and more pennies dropped about my own leg problems, which were much worse as a child and how it all links back to my mum's leg/bone problems, which she's also had since she was a child. (I did make sure the Paed was made aware of the history.)
So, it's a case of waiting for the results and what they are going to do next now.
We were there for hours and both ds2 and dd were absolute stars. Dd had to sit just outside the door of the xray room, behind the screen, with one of the assistants, so she could see us, but not come in and she was so well behaved sitting there waving at me, I was really proud of her. Ds2 was absolutely brilliant, especially considering the sheer number of xrays he has done in all sorts of odd positions. He told me afterwards he was really scared before he had it done, because even though I explained it to him, he wasn't sure what to expect, but that in the end it was ok and he wasn't scared at all.
Managed another double workout today, but failed with my diet, as I wasn't expecting to be at the hospital so long and started to feel a bit odd from hunger - all I could find to eat was a slice of fruitcake from the cafe, so I had that. Why is it that you can never find anything healthy to eat in a hospital.
Going to have a small salad for tea to try and make up for it.
Quieter day tomorrow, just dd's nursery placement allocation due in and I want to get organised and start packing for Legoland (Saturday).
Thursday is the first meeting of a new Parent Support Group being set up by the ASD Inclusion Team and run by ds1's ASD teacher. Not sure what to expect, but think it has potential to be very useful.
Wahey! Mega post!
Shouldn't have had that caffeinated coffee at the hospital - am buzzing away now.
sounds v productive, hope the results and referral come through soon...
meeting in an hour or so.
hospital canteen food always makes me laugh. that said, the one at the children's hosp here is amazing. they have a sushi bar. <and loads of other stuff, obv, but a sushi bar!!!> i suspect that they don't have a staff canteen, as it's always full of workers as well, and there are always loads of tables free. it's lovely - huge and open plan at the centre of a sort of atrium that all the corridors lead to. with fish tanks around the edges to occupy small children, and touchable artwork - statues and stuff. v flash.
right, must. get. off. mn.
lunches to make and floors to vacuum, never mind the meeting!
hmm. i have been bamboozled.
learning support lady and class teacher. class teacher gushed for about twenty minutes about how he was a changed child, the meds are amazing, he is brilliant, so engaged, so together, so absolutely not a problem at all. cured, in fact.
learning support talked me through the math tests (g6 PATs - like SATS, end of next year stuff). he was between 80 and 99% on the papers. bit more gushing.
spent next 15 minutes explaining the mentor system to me. (dd1 did it this year, i know exactly how it works). said he will definitely be on it next year (starts in january. 8 months away.)
and at the end said there are another few weeks of the g5 syllabus left in the class, but after that he might get to go to learning support to do some small group math problem solving (they will hand pick a few kids who are good at maths).
and she thinks he'll be fine just going into grade 6 and getting the normal classes. but i should email her if he is bored. some time next year.
she was very very good, and i didn't even realise until i left that essentially, even though he has already passed the end of G6 math tests with flying colours, he is now going to be taught it for a year.
i had very clearly clocked that the 'sn' aspects are deemed to have been dealt with via meds. interestingly, neither of them are aware that there are days when he doesn't take them. she did ask if we had seen changes at home because of the meds, and no, we haven't, but that was v clearly chalked up to the timing issue that obviously benefits school...
i told them he was seeing the psych etc. she did ask if there was anything that they could be doing at school wrt the continence etc. not really, it's all been tried and he is ohobic, which is why he's going to the psych lol.
class teacher did acknowledge that there is actually an ongoing problem with organisation. learning support said she had worked with a lot of kids in this area, and class teacher forbade her (! yes, really) to get involved on this score, as he's capable of doing it. the compromise was, if he asks for help, he will be given it. riiiiiight. the same kid who wouldn't ask for another pizza form, so he missed an entire year's worth of pizza. i can't see him asking, but i'll let him know. <sigh>
then she said 'oo, i've got to go' and they both left.
i am fairly sanguine. nothing is going to happen this year anyway, and i suspect strognly that nowt much is going to happen next year, and as long as we keep him on the meds, they don't see any problem.
they are so desperately inflexible. at the mo they are designing and building a little electronic car each in science. ds1 came home excited, planned the entire thing, ordered the components, and then was crushed the following day because he had been told it was only allowed one motor. (he had planned two, so that it could reverse as well or something). i mentioned in passing that he had been upset, and was basically told, oh, he can do it at home, the rubric is only one motor. i mean, i know he can do it at home. but don't give a kid with asd traits the freedom to design and make an electric car with no parameters, and then after he's done his design, tell him tht he has to follw the class design on this sheet here, because that's what we do every year. i did have an inward chuckle that they don't even allow them to make the chassis any more, because the children were spending too much time on their individual designs.
ach. will wait until september and see who the class teacher is.
Oh, that always happens to me. I think its gone ok, then come out and realise I have been hoodwinked. I take dh with me, which helps a bit, but not much because he's as bad as I am face-to-face really.
How can the teacher just state that he isn't allowed support with organisation? Surely he can't learn how to organise himself without someone showing him the way?
The gushing re the meds sounds a bit suss as well, especially if he's not taking it every day.
Why are they only focussing on his maths, if that's his area of strength? Surely they should be focussing on other areas of the curriculum where he struggles more and sorting support for that.
They do sound very inflexible and unwilling to change things to suit the pupil's individual needs. Sounds like they don't get ASD either, fancy telling him he could design whatever he wants, then adding restrictions after he'd already designed it.
As for the pupils spending too much time on their designs - God forbid! Fancy children being given the time to be really creative.
So sorry the meeting didn't turn out well. How many weeks of this school year do you have left?
Only 9 weeks. And because they have left it so long, I knew they weren't really going to do anything this year, although it will be interesting to see if the small group thing highlights his social issues. I did mention that in passing - I walked down the corridor with the learning support teacher as she escorted me out, lol, so hopefully that might have given her a clue. He's so blinkered in those sorts of situations - if he 'knows' how to do something(or has internalised a 'plan'), he can't even listen to anyone else's possible idea. So if they can get him to a point where he understands that he has to give everyone a chance (even if he thinks they are wrong) that will be a bonus. He can't even play out without being reduced to angry tears because it isn't going his way. <sigh>. That sounds really bratty, but it's not an ego thing, just that he is so linear in his head and anyone trying to suggest alternatives throws him into a blind panic and he gets stressy and flappy.
The psych thinks it might be because he connects people disagreeing with him (or wanting to do something else) as them saying they don't like him, respect him, or want to be with him, on top of the 'rules' walls in his head. So he has both to contend with - misreading the social cues as well as the fact that the 'plan' has been changed.
Lots to consider over the summer, I think...
The meds thing is v interesting. I mean, they don't even know that there's the occasional day he doesn't take them, but there was no mention of any variability in him at all.
I think they are concentrating on the math because the psych specifically mentioned it - she thought it would be great for his self esteem etc. it seems to have backfired a bit though, as if you discuss learning or whatever with him, he will now say he loves maths but he's rubbish at sentence construction/ literacy, whatever. So somewhere along the line he appears to have been brainwashed that he's rubbish at everything else... It's as though he's just repeating what he thinks everyone wants to hear. Not sure what to do about that really.
I did want to bang my head against the table with the organisation thing. The teacher is ADHD as well, and is also the most rigid person in the school (she was the pizza woman, grr). It's just exactly the same thing again - her way of 'teaching' him not to lose his order from or to ask for another was to ban him from pizza for a year. So her idea of teaching him to be more organised is just to let him fail at it.
If he learnt from his failures, that would be a fine methodology. But she's the same one who said 'honestly, I can tear him off a strip, and then I look at his face and I know he has absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. His brain is just wired differently, it's like kicking a puppy.'
So I knew I wasn't going to win the organisation argument. I'll speak to learning support in September when he has a new teacher. I'm almost sure she was thinking the same thing.
The chassis comment and the 'must stick to the rubric' thing was almost enough to send me running out of the door yelling 'quick, sign me up for homeschooling!'. 9 weeks, 9 weeks. 9 weeks.
Right, enough babble. Today I am going to be an oasis of calm. And I'm going to take the dogs for a walk and wear my trainers - I may even jog a bit. It's spring and I'm not going to fall on the ice! yay!
9 weeks sounds like an awfully long time to me. You are much calmer than I would be about it all.
Enjoy your jog/walk.
It's p'ing it down here and has been all day. Apparently we are in for a month's worth of rain in two days or something - it'd better blooming well rain itself out before Saturday.
Just got absolutely soaked on the school run. It stopped for about half an hour before it was time to go out and the sun came out, lulled me into a false sense of security, then as soon as we reached the playground the black clouds rolled in and it was torrential.
Not doing so well with diet and exercise. Did my favourite 3 levels of BFBM, but couldn't face a shred as well, so compromised and did 20 minutes vigorous pedalling on the exercise bike instead, which according to MFP is similar in calories burned. Made sure I kept my heart rate up, in fact I had sweat dripping off my nose, so it should at least have been fat burning, if not exactly toning much. (Grumble, grumble, blooming swimsuit, grumble ...... )
Ended up not getting breakfast until lunchtime, then just resorted to two slices of fresh wholemeal thick sliced bread with plenty of butter and a teaspoon of strawberry jam when I got back cold and wet from the school. I have a max of 785 kcals left for the day and absolutely no clue what to have for dinner, the fridge is almost bear, as we're hanging on for Friday (payday) to get the shopping delivered.
I'm just not very up for it today really, haven't had a decent night's sleep in so long I can't remember now and it's starting to take it's toll. Dh snored spectactularly all through last night (in fact I nearly pushed him out of bed at one point ) and dd and the dog have been tag teaming waking me up all week. Feels like as soon as I nod off one or other starts.
Old lady dog is having continence issues. She's been to the vet, who said its either a urine infection, cushings, kidneys, diabetes or just old age (basically caused by being spayed). They ruled out diabetes with a blood spot test there and then, she was clear for an infection and it looks unlikely to be cushings (despite her being at risk from prolonged use of steroids) because she doesn't have any other symptoms. So, we have some propalin syrup to try and if she responds to that it's just old age. She has actually been better, so it does seem it's probably old age. I was having to clear up under her bed every morning and regularly through the day and then she started leaking whenever she stood up. Not sure if we've muddied the waters a bit by being more vigilant with letting her out more regularly, but she definitely hasn't leaked since she started the syrup.
Oo, forgot. Am another pound down, so 155 now. Would have preferred if all 3 of the errant pounds that arrived overnight after ds2's birthday pizza had exited at once, but beggars can't be choosers.
We had one on propalin syrup before. It can be a bit variable, I think, but good if it's working so far? Poor doggle. This age stuff is no fun.
I'm not sleeping, either. (harrumph) I think it's probably bog standard stress though, so hoping it will improve over the next few nights. And also totally skint. We haven't quite worked out how we are going to pay the mortgage next week... <ponders> dh started his new job on Monday so we could have an unexpected gap between pay days... I know we are all supposed to be jolly responsible and have a couple of months of cash sitting pretty, but really, life doesn't work out that way. We are expecting a tax rebate though, which will clear everything when it arrives, but it might be another month. <sigh>
I am making my own freaking granola bars for packed lunches, we're that skint.
Ooooo, nearly swimsuit time! and at the rain..... I will send drying out vibes on Friday.
Oo, 155. We like. One at a time is fine.
155 is good, yes, but I was 151 on the 10th of March.
I am baking for lunch boxes as well, well if I'm honest, all three dcs baked on Monday, but everyone is now bored of rock buns, so I am planning to do flapjacks - not that it's cheap when you have to use gf oats. Fortunately we paid for Legoland back in January using dh's bonus, so that's not the disaster it could have been, but we have to pay for an evening meal for 5 in the hotel restaurant and their prices are daylight robbery. It's an all you can eat buffet, but it's £19.99 for an adult and £10.00 for a child - so £70 quid for us! <<faints>> Mum has offered to pay for lunch on Sunday, but we're not sure if we can get anything gf for ds1.
Hope you manage to stretch the money to get you through till payday.
We never have spare cash sitting around for times like this, there's always something we need to spend it on.
I hate it when there's too much month at the end of our money!
madwoman - teacher sounds like a disaster, so you just need to focus on training up the next one a bit better . we have organisational issues here too, if anything (lunch bags, jumpers) can get lost it will...
am hovering between 12st 11 and 12st 13. and likewise not sleeping well, don't know if it's all the horrid rain.
2 months wages saved? savings full stop? (hysterical laughter). hope you can sort out a mortgage holiday or retime the payments or do something clever to sort it out madwoman.
glad the appt went well moose. do you have any thoughts yourself as to what might be behind it, might it be some form of hypermobility?
Ds1 is another one who can be relied on to forget or lose something practically every single day. By some miracle we still have the same lunchbox he had last year, but in reality it's because the dinner ladies know it's his and one of the TAs is forever retrieving it off the wrong year's trolley!
The paed said definitely hypermobility, but cagey as to what type at the moment. Both he and I have lots of markers for Ehlers Danlos - my most impressive party trick is being able to fold both ears completely up and press them into the ear hole, iyswim. It really grosses people out! I can also place both palms completely flat on the floor without bending my knees and bend far enough for my forehead to be between my knees if my legs are apart. I had horrible problems as a pre-teen and teenager with my legs. My knees used to lock up and the only way to release them was by punching them really hard. I was supposed to undergo arthroscopy to nail the problem down, but was so scared of hospitals that I lied and told them it was better and didn't cause me problems anymore. Mum can't remember what the docs said at the time, but I can remember then drawing stick men running up and down my legs to show me where they wanted to cut my legs open from ankle to knee and knee to hip and ralign the bones - hence my fear and reason for lying.
I think my mum has it as well, she was in traction for a year and a caliper for longer as they tried to realign her hip. None of us respond properly to anaesthetic either, we all bruise easily and tend to take longer to heal than most people. My great grandfather (Mum's grandad) was also famous locally for being extremely stretchy and bendy, so most likely had the same thing.
I'm just hoping it turns out to be just the hypermobile one, rather than having any organ involvement. There's no genetic test for the basic hypermobile type of EDS, but there are genetic tests for the others.
Posting this as a double post - as it's massive, but I need to get it all out.
Epic fail carb wise yesterday and no weightloss to report today. Harrumph!
Have been to the inaugural Parent Support Group Meeting with our ASD Inclusion Team today and it was, er ..... interesting.
Two very highly motivated parents wanting to smash the system and change things for the better kind of hijacked the meeting and accused the poor Inclusion Teachers of getting them there under false pretences. They read the invite in a completely different way to everyone else. Several people tried to explain that whilst comendable, it wasn't actually the purpose of the meeting, but there was no stopping them - no way to even get a word in sideways.
At that point I had enough and told them to remember that there everyone there had their own needs, some have very young children, others older, some are still reeling from dx, others are old hands and some are just not in a place yet where they have built up enough fire in their bellies to fuel a fight with the powers that be, well at least not for anything more than getting support for their own child. I explained that most parents of children with ASD will get there at some point, but there were many parents at the meeting who aren't au fait with the system, let along it's faults and they are there for support, not fighting. I suggested we form a sub-group, using the support group as means of funnelling parents' concerns to the people who do have the power to change things using them to challenge policy and provision.
That worked, they didn't pipe up at all for the rest of the meeting and one of the other parents came up to thank me and to ask what I did for a living, because I am obviously a very good facilitator.
Truth, I was terrified, my heart was absolutely banging, my eyes filled up and my voice was shakey. I waited an age to intervene, because I was too damned scared to get involved, but I'm glad I did.
After that we had a coffee break and never went back to the meeting. I noticed there were a couple of other parents who had put down the same school as me on the sign in sheet and saw one of them sitting in a group of three, so plucked up the courage to approach. Turns out there were three of them there, all from our school, all with children who have ASD. They are all still in the infants though and it was slightly unnerving, as they all seemed to assume that because my ds is older, I must know more. Sadly it seems they aren't getting the support they need in the infants. I had hoped things might have changed for the better - and it is better than it was, but it seems the school still has a looong way to go before you could say its ASD friendly.
Also got to have a long chat with ds1's inclusion teacher, who was lovely as always.
I think it went well in the end, the fact that people got chatting means we will all be more willing to open up at the next meeting. Am quite looking forward to the next one now.
Unfortunately things went a bit pear shaped with ds2 last night. He spent over an hour crying on me, all sorts of worries and anxieties came tumbling out. Poor boy never complains, is so patient with ds1 and dd, he is the good boy in class at school, always tries really hard and everyone says what a lovely lad he is, but it seems he's been internalising all these worries and stresses all the time and he's now full to bursting with it all. It's almost as if being taken seriously by the Paed on Tuesday has triggered him to finally start telling us what's wrong.
He's struggling with his speech. It's always been a bit odd, he stammers quite a bit and often puts the wrong endings on things (eg I boughted a new game). Now he's become conscious that the reason he's not moving up a level in reading is because they aren't happy with his fluency. He is brilliant at expressive reading, but struggles to say the words out loud, so his reading is stilted. I think he's embarrassed about it and also concerned that it's beyond his control, it's not that he can't read the words, he just can't get them out of his mouth. He also told me that when he puts his hand up in class, it takes him so long to get the words out that his teacher just leaves him and moves on to the next person.
Some of this is, I think, related to the fact that he has been constantly interrupted and told he's wrong by ds1 ever since he learned to speak. He rarely gets a sentence out uninterrupted at home. Can't help thinking there's more to it though. He still reverses letters and numbers, can't tell a digital 2 from a digital 5, doesn't recognise letters if they are in a different font than he's used to. When working on online maths, he repeatedly enters the units before the tens when entering numbers, eg 81 instead of 18. (He just came to ask me what "this symbol" means on his maths homework and it was the letter J - as in the numbering of the questions from A-K.) He also struggles to understand simple verbal instructions and seems to get confused over the simplest things. It's all ringing alarm bells for me. APD, mild dyslexia?
I went to see his teacher after school to ask for a meeting to discuss everything he told me last night. She pressed to find out what the issues were and then stood there and told me that he is absolutely fine at school - no problems at all. <sigh> She also said she'd get his other two teacher (jobshare) into the meeting as well and that means me, on my own with three teachers, one of whom happens to be ds1's awful teacher from last year - the one who refused to speak to me for the whole of the last term.
I have a feeling I'm going to be fobbed off by the teachers though, which presses my buttons, as no-one would listen to my concerns about ds1 either and he had to crash and burn before they even started to consider listening.
So, another one to add to my overflowing bag of guilt. I've been so busy getting ds1 assessed and statemented, all the time thinking 'ds2 is doing fine mentally, achieving well at school etc, so he's ok for now', that I've overlooked his needs. It's high time he was made the priority and we start to put his needs first. In fact its well overdue.
3 teachers , I take it DS2 is still primary age. something else I would throw in the mix as a suggestion would be visual processing difficulties, and/or Irlen's syndrome for you to look into. Sorry you are going through this worry with DS2, of having to get teacher to take you seriousl etc, must feel like groundhog day. I have heard good reports of Ian Jordan (Jordaneyes)Optician up in Scotland re:literacy etc difficulties/visual processing etc. Do you have any idea of who will be teaching your DS next year (in the hopes you can get them to take you seriously if this year is a washout). I suppose another thought might be to get a hearing test or even possibly look for SALT referral if you have concerns over his understanding in general.
Hi TLC, thanks for trawling through my warbling posts, it was more of a brain dump than anything, as I was winding myself up into a frenzy.
Yes still primary, he was 8 last week. He has his class teacher, plus two other teachers, who jobshare, for maths. Oh and another one for music and another for RE!
I did wonder about visual processing, ds1 definitely has issues with that, it showed up in his WISC IV results and at a normal eye check up at Boots. Ds2 was under the orthoptist, optometrist and consultant from when he was 3 until last October, but I suppose conventional testing could well have missed it? We are at the bottom of the Midlands so Ian Jordan seems a long way off. There is a BABO in a village nearby, but its £££s for the assessment and then £££s more for the treatment and lenses etc. I have agreed to get ds1 checked out though, it's actually in his statement that we will do it. Am going to get him referred to the eye clinic first, after speaking to ds2's consultant about him and take it from there if they draw a blank.
No idea for next year, I know absolutely nothing about the lady that is taking the next class up this year, not even her name and they tend to shuffle the junior staff around each year anyway. Won't find out until July.
I wondered about a SALT referral, but I don't think they're easy to get these days. I do know another mum at the school who was a SALT until she gave it up to be a full time mum and she knows ds2 very well as he's in her ds's class and they're good friends I might ask her what she thinks, if I can catch her.
He also told me last night (and again after school today) that they've moved his classroom round and it's really upset him. I asked why, was it because he's not sitting with friends anymore or something and he said "No, it just feels different - I don't really like it when things change it makes me feel funny".
I do think he has traits, but have always thought that most of it was from being ds1's younger sibling, I'm starting to think perhaps I may have been wrong on that as well now though. BUT he is very sociable and finds being sociable easy and is really popular, he is very empathic and kind, creative and imaginative, loves imaginative play and drawing etc, so if he is on the spectrum it's more mild and a totally different presentation than ds1. To be honest, it doesn't sound likely from that description though does it?
It does feel very groundhoggy, especially as it was the same school year as ds2's in now that sent ds1 into a downward spiral. I suppose I should have expected the teacher's reaction though. She completely brushed me off when I suggested he had hypermobility problems with his legs and told her he'd been referred - can't wait to feed back about that one at the meeting!
I lost the thread!
Will try and catch up (moose's mega posts - you are offloading like me!) but in the meantime, I am envisioning you in your swimming costume at a legoland hotel, having conquered the pool beastie and being all brave and uber confident.
Hope you are all having a lovely time and all the food stuff works out perfectly x
Well, I'm back and I survived ..... and I did go swimming. We went before breakfast on Sunday hoping it would be quiet and it was packed! Still, I felt fine in my costume an had lots of fun getting squirted by water canons <thank you ds1> and going down the slide with dd.
Weekend was great, despite a great deal of torrential rain broken only by slightly less torrential rain. We were all fine in our raincoats covered by mahoosive rain ponchos though.
Hotel screwed up royally, first by failing to refresh the lego prizes in the safe in our room, so when they boys finally figured out the clues to the code they were bitterly disappointed. Then the restaurant hadn't sorted ds1's meal, brought out the 'supposedly' head chef to talk through what he could and couldn't eat - his suggestion? Tagliatelle! then anything and everything else that had wheat in. A helpful waitress came with a coeliac sister came to the rescue in the end and arranged for him to have a separate stir fry cooked in a clean wok - but he was so disappointed, as he was expecting a special meal and to be able to go up again and again to the all you can eat buffet.
They replaced the missing safe prizes and gave all three dcs a treat bag with baloons and lanyards etc in and gave ds1 a lego board game to compensate for his meal disappointment, but as dh pointed out, it's a really poor show for a hotel that is brand new, designed around children and had been informed that we had a coeliac, autistic child with us. Dh is going to complain in writing and see if they will offer us anything else.
Oh - and they lost our suitcase when we came to leave. Which again affected ds1 really badly, because he can never cope with leaving and was already distraught. We had to wait half an hour while they searched and eventually found they had left in in our bedroom.
BUT the kids had a blast in Legoland itself and we got on really well with our friends - no arguments or tears and lots of fun and that's all that matters really.
On the downside, I am a whopping 158lbs this morning! <sob> Praying it's mostly water - but will admit to doing my best to get our money's worth at the evening meal and breakfast buffet. (In my defence, I did walk miles, pushing a very heavy pushchair up huuuuge hills .....)
Hope everyone else had a good weekend.
Wooooooooo! <sorry, I know there were loads of overriding rage inducing ridiculousities, but wooooooo! Moose wore a cossie! In PUBLIC! Wooooooo! Yeah!>
But oh ffs, really with the restaurant? It makes me want to bounce off all four walls and the ceiling in rage on your behalf. They had two weeks frigging notice, then did nothing and offered freaking tagliatelle? [incandescent emoticon] sadly, if you are anything like me, you will boil in rage for days unable to do anything, and will then ignore it because to deal with it will be more upsetting. But don't! Please! It really really really isn't good enough. At all.
And bah to the prizes and the suitcase. I loathe this sort of low level pissery with businesses. There is just no need for it. It just smacks of poor admin and poor management, and poor supervisors. How hard is it for housekeeping to check the safe when they do the room for new occupants? It's their freaking job, for goodness sake. They manage to get the towels in there.
All that aside, I'm glad you had a good time, despite the rain! My sis used to have annual passes to legoland, and they used to go pretty much every weekend (Disney dad scenario with two dss's), but I've only been once, a looooooong time ago.
It's been nice here, and we put the deck furniture out (it's due to snow tomorrow lol, but y'know). Not warm enough to eat outside, but lovely to take a mug of tea and sit breathing in the pine as it all warms up in the sun! Very wholesome.
Dd1 seriously wants me to find out whether she can change schools for y8. <sigh> the only reason being that one of her friends goes to the other school and has been trying to convince her. <sigh> it's much smaller, and a lot of the kids who do go there end up leaving in grade 9 to go back to the high school, as there are less options, and teeny classes (if they stay) etc. I did mention it to parent of said friend, who rolled her eyes and made non-committal noises in a 'really, don't bother' manner. It's a catholic school (we aren't) and I'm sure v lovely, but doesn't run on the same holidays as the public school system, etc etc. which means we then need to look at the other two, which seems a bit daft on behalf of the only blooming nt child...!
Ach, I'll make a phone call and ask some questions. Tomorrow I'm spending about six hours in a car with the other mother, so we can hash it out between us then!
My weight was exactly the same on Friday, but I have raging pmt, so was expecting nothing less. I had better be two pounds down this Friday...
Dh has said that he is going to write a formal complaint letter and email them as well. Quite apart from anything else, this weekend cost as much as our annual summer holiday for 5 people to go to Ireland, so it should have been perfect!
Just been called over to see ds2's teacher, only to be told they don't want a meeting with me because they have already met to discuss him and decided they have no concerns, therefore he's fine!
In my usual hopeless at confrontation way I then tried desperately to explain hypermobility and its implication in a playground full of parents to a teacher who made the right faces and noises, but quite obviously really couldn't care less.
Came home and discussed it with ds2 again and he said his maths teacher told the class before Easter that some of them are moving up a group, but not specifically who. This has made him panic after the whole moving up for a day fiasco in Y2, hence the stress out. The thing is, they did a maths assessment the one day he was in the week before Easter, but was really too ill to be there. He had to do that assessment, plus one he'd missed when he was off sick the day before. The poor boy had an undx'd chest infection fgs, so he didn't do very well and was pulled out of class last week to work through the paper again with the TA. So, it now seems the assessment was to decide who should move up and as he got a lower grade for that than he did on his Y2 SATs, I doubt he will be going anywhere. Guess which teacher was at the root of all this confusion - yep - ds1's teacher of 'I'm not speaking to Mrs Moosemama fame' from last year. <<sigh>>
School move sounds a bit of a pita for you, especially if she may well want to move again in a years' time and the holiday differences etc. It's difficult though, because sometimes you feel like you need to do things that the nt ones want/need as well. Hope you can work out what to do on your car journey. Wherever are you going that takes 6 hours?
it should only take 4 hours... but you can never tell - 2 hours there and then obv back again. we're going to visit a guide camp for a site orientation prior to brownie camp in two weeks. it is in the middle of frigging nowhere about 100k along a dirt track, or something ridiculous. she has volunteered to drive, for which i am eternally in her debt. neither of us have the faintest idea where we are going... but we have a hand drawn map with lines on for roads, and a few arrows.
my more immediate problem is that every other leader (apart from the one that doesn't come and doesn't tell me, and i can't rely on anyway) has had either a last minute or pre-planned disaster and can't make it tonight. even the youth one.
and i postponed a parent helper until next week yesterday because it was all looking hunky dory and i know i can't make it next week, so wanted to make sure they had plenty of adults. <sigh>
i guess i'm about to e-mail all the parents with a begging note. i need at least two or i have to cancel. <sigh>
oh, moose, school sound quite the pita at the mo. any chance of the TA realising his maths result was due to being poorly and standing up for him?
well done dh for taking the bull by the horns. tis the least he can do and frees up your headspace to fret about the rest.
Hope all is well, trip went ok yesterday. The camp is indeed in the middle of nowhere and it was a grey rainy day, so driving along dirt tracks was fun... This morning it is snowing <sigh> but it was forecast, so no biggie.
Actually slept last night lol, so feel quite strange! Faintly refreshed, but def wooly! I drank a bucketload of water last night, so am now wondering if lack of sleep was partly dehydration again. I must remember to drink more water.
Is everyone back at school today? Hope you are all recovered after the trip!
Hi, glad your trip went well and you've had a good night's sleep.
Yesterday afternoon I asked ds1's teacher, who just happens to be head of KS2 about my problems getting ds2's teacher to have a meeting in private with me to discuss a few issues and she went to speak to her on my behalf. Not as Head of KS2, but going along the lines that we have a good relationship because of ds1 and I asked her advice. Saw ds2's teacher this morning and we have a meeting on Friday after school. (The boys are off tomorrow for polling day and she's off on the annual string instrument concert with ds2's class this afternoon, so Friday was the soonest she could do.)
Ds2 managed to lose his blooming tickets for the concert somewhere between the classroom and home (all of about 500 yards ). There was I waiting for them to come through, thinking 'blimey, they're leaving it a bit late to hand them out', then found out everyone else had them over a week ago! He swore he'd given them to me, but I am absolutely positive I've never even seen the envelope. Checked at the school office and he'd definitely signed for them, so it wasn't that they were given out on a day he was off sick either.
Came home and turned the house upside down - no luck. Called the venue and bless them, they offered me free replacement tickets straight away. I then realised that the school might have kept a record of seat number allocations. Checked and they did, so called the venue back and they've reprinted our tickets for us to pick up when we get there. I am so relieved and really pleasantly surprised, as I expected them to say, your mistake, your problem and make me pay another £20 for new tickets. It's such a shock these days when you get good quality customer service.
Lots of reports from ds1's teacher about him being all over the place this week. He's still crying regularly about having to leave Legoland and when he's not doing that he's shouting out in class and being generally disruptive. He had an hour with his inclusion teacher this morning where they discussed the shouting out, came up with some strategies to help him stop doing it and even produced a reminder card. Unfortunately, he then went back to class and shouted out no fewer than three times in the next five minutes. I'm sure it's just a case of him needing to settle back down again after Easter and Legoland, but the disruption of polling day, followed by Bank Holiday Monday really isn't going to help.
Right, must go and make tea for ds1 and dd and think about getting myself ready for this concert.
evening all. feeling tired and grotty, not quite sure why. hohum. 12 stone 10, so slowly getting there. But away this weekend which may not be great for the diet.. Lamb seems to have vanished, hope I haven't chased her away [glum]
sorry that Legoland cocked up so spectacularly, you are damn right to complain, as surely Legoland can only justify charging £££££ for providing excellent family service. The cluelessness re:medical diet is scary. hope you enjoy the concert!
lamb disappears and pops back when she feels the need, so don't worry. she used the thread a lot until she got to target weight, but comes to cheer us on. no need for glum.
you are doing well, tlp. slowly but surely!
glad you have your meeting sorted out, moose. and yay for the theatre!
i think your ds1 and mine might be in synch at the mo. fortunately the paed rang and reminded me he has an appointment next week, which is had forgotten about , so i can ponder what i need to ask...
are you going somewhere exciting at the weekend, tlp?
i had to call the bank and defer our mortgage payment for two weeks. hey ho. i just want our tax rebate to arrive, lol. i could kill dh for not bloody asking hr when payday was and trying to work it out himself. <sigh> why is he so blooming stubborn? it's not like it's an unusual question to ask when you start a new job, is it?
fairly important really, isn't it, in case they do anything grim like pay a month in arrears. Glad you have sorted out a mortgage extension, anyhoo.
Sorry about my wobble re:lamb, have had some ahem interesting experiences on quiche threads in the past, shall we say.
Oh and DRINK MORE WATER! This isn't the first time that dehydration has cropped up (stern glare).