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am considering going to the drs. am v fat. lifestyle makes it impossible to eat normal food at normal times. i am also partial to cake and cheese and wine. although i really don't eat loads of crap. i don't do real exercise. again lifestyle and knackeredness is difficult and am really too fat to do much. don't lecture me. i am not stupid. does anyone have any experience of what to say to GP? what to start with? who to ask to be referred to?
Yes. Go to gp and say that you need help. Say that you have tried and tried to diet, but fail every time and every time you feel worse about yourself. Tell gp that your size makes exercise painful so you feel trapped. Say that you know that it is your fault, you are not trying to avoid taking responsibility but that you can't go back in time and prevent yourself from being in this situation, and you need help please.
You will probably be referred to a dietician in the first instance.
You have to be willing to try, to not close down your mind and say that you cannot do it, and continue to eat the way you do. You have to try to help yourself. You have to be SEEN to be open to try to change.
There is help out there, xenical, reductil, surgery, but you have to be open and be seen to be trying.
I am on xenical atm and am going to have surgery (gastric sleeve) so I know what I am talking about!!!!
HI DA! I have started a thread myself today. I doubt you're as big as me...think there was a poll once and i turned out to be the biggest mumsnetter...!We should perhaps work together?
how are you finding the Xenica hecate? I may have to resort to it in the absence of redcutiland accomplia but am slightly dubious about whether it will work and how I manage job and toddler with the side effects if they are bad...
There are no side effects IF you don't eat stuff you shouldn't!!!!
If you eat fatty stuff, then you will have foul wind, terrible stomach ache and seepage and diahorrea. And it is yellowish and fatty and it's like an oil slick in the loo!
Oh waaaaaaaay tmi!
But it does work.
If you don't want the side effects, then you don't eat the stuff that gives you the side effects - you learn the hard way!!
oh bollocks. so it like a physical conscience... what keeps you taking it when you are desparate for something you shouldn;t have (IYKWIM) I suppose it builds up so stopping taking it wouldn't work quickly
right. admission time and i haven't even name changed. am 5 feet 7 and a half. i weigh exactly 16 stones. am size 20 yes not hugely huge. not discovery channel documentary huge but uncomfortably and unhealthily huge. DD1 asked to go swimming earlier. i told her to find a friend to go with her because i can't/won't go with her. things must change. when young i used to run. can't no as wobble. people laugh and it hurts my knees. won't swim as to disgusting. do walk. work full time. crap shifts. am nurse so know about health stuff. also know dietitians. am fat. must change,
yes. I set up a yahoo group (but haven't been near it since before I went on holiday!) it is closed, invite only, but if you are regular mner I can invite you, is nice and private. it's here but it's closed you can email mud24 at hotmail dot co dot uk for an invite.
think i need to see gp this week. am also making concerted effort starting tomorrow to cut out cheese, wine, fat and crap from my diet. evenings when i am at home are my downfall. get the DDs and dh to bed then crack open the wine and make a sandwich. have started kitting this weekend to distract me. can only do straight lines though.
Do you know what...I refused to go swimming with kids for years.Then, we had an incident with dd2 who nearly drowned on a holiday and I decided I was going to teach them all.Took me another 18months to 2 years before I plucked up the courage.Started going to baths every Sunday morning...dragged reluctant hubbie along too (he's a skinny bugger though).Kids can all swim now thankfully.Went on a holiday with a load of mates earlier this year...and their hubbies.All skinny.I was the only one who got in the pool/sea with the kids...well the blokes did eventually but not the girls.Knew the kids were going to rib me about my weight etc. but strangely enough...after the initial response..which wasn't as bad as i'd expected actually...all the kids/teens etc. were bothered about was that I had to play "tag" with them everyday.Don't know what was said behind my back...y'know what...I don't care.As Dawn French said in an interview the other day,I can't waste my time worrying about what other people think.It's true.I can't.of course i want to lose weight...for my kids if nothing else...but I absolutely love my swimming on a Sunday morning now....I can't run;can walk slowly....but CAN swim without getting out of breath....Take the plunge...you'll enjoy it.
For example, stop buying cheese. Get used to not having that before you change everything else. I think making gradual life changes has a higher chance of success than feeling like you are going without everything all at once, iyswim.
I speak as someone who knows everything there is to know about dieting and healthy eating and general sensibleness, yet is the size of a house and has been forced to turn to surgery.
So you may not want to listen to anything I have to say on the subject.
hecate,how come everyone who's "fat" eats cheese and has loads of milk in their coffee/tea etc? I hate cheese...always have and I very,very rarely drink milk...So where am I going wrong? Mind you, I drink (alcohol) probably far too often.(Crisps with wine are my absolute downfall!) Plus,hubbie does our cooking when he's home...i'm sure he deliberately keeps me fat so I can't run away!!!(i've gotta blame someone!)
That is so true hecate. Disasterarea could you not try to buy in a load of fruit like raspberries etc instead of cheese(assuming you like fruit) and when you feel hungry pick at them because if you dont have cheese - they're the next option? Last night I was on a sweetie binge and ate two bananas and it worked, it actually stopped me from eating the biscuits.
tomorrow morning i may be calling for help when the fridge is talking to me. am a bit determined that i have to do something. hecate i know i really do. am a nurse - i know i am heading for a heart attack but do you think i can do something about it? i know how many calories there are in a custard cream. how it feels after a week on the slimfast. how good a creamy cake tastes. what i should eat when i should eat it vs what i do eat when i do. this is why i have just admitted to the whole world what i look like. eighteen. i love to swim in the sea. is the only place i do - as long asnobdy is looking. good for you though. your holiday sounds really good.
I only said cheese because she said cheese! I encounter problems because everyone thinks I eat my bodyweight in chocs and cake every day and they will NOT believe me when I say I don't. So I have stopped even trying to tell the truth and just let them think I eat all day every day.
When the truth is I miss breakfast, mostly miss lunch, and eat waaaay too much in the evenings and I'm a carbaholic, not a chocoholic!
Sorry for butting in but can I ask, since we are all in the same boat, how do you all sleep?
I keep reading about how lack of sleep leads to obesity and I know my sleep pattern has been completely messed up since having children, particularly since DS2 when I have put on most of my weight. I probably don't sleep more than 4 hours most nights and anything less than 6 is supposed to have a detrimental affect on your weight. But I have got myself in a rut and don't go to bed. Madness - maybe it is a shrink I need not a doctor!
Hecate, I am the same - often miss breakfast, usually eat a tiny sandwich just before school pick up time and then pig out all evening.
Sleep is a problem for me, I barely slept for 2 years!! Now I have a special bed from social services, that lifts at the feet and head. I have a bi-pap because I have respiratory depression (not breathing enough, leading to build up of carbon dioxide). Sleep problems have definitely made my problems worse. There is a chemical/hormone/something that is produced at night, if you don't get enough good sleep, you lack it and it can cause weight gain. It's not an excuse of course, but it certainly makes a bad situation worse.
evenings are awful for me...allday i am thinking about what i will eat when my children have gone to bed.... and cant wait for them to sleep so i can start my binge.
I had eaten so well all week soup for lunch etc, and lost 7pounds, but this weekend have put it all back on again
I know that feeling. I plan binges. I can't wait to be alone. Partly why I get on here so much, while I am engrossed in this, it keeps me away from the bread!!
There's this devil in you that says things like "just this once, start tomorrow, one more won't hurt you, you know you can do it - you've been good all week, you are so big already, one day won't matter...."
sleep fine. DDs are old enough that they do sleep all night now. however DD2 was 6 before she slept all night. can i blame her? i do work crap shifts though. i do think my body never knows when its next meal is coming. evenings are also a problem. boredom/habit think i do need a shrink as well as a dr. have huge ishoos.
Right well...here goes...I go to bed late and get up early.Probably have about x 5 hours of sleep per night. I don't eat chocolate and sweets much..unless i'm due on when i seem to crave them. I LOVE pasties,pies,bread etc. and I too "plan"my foodfests. When the kids are in bed, I crack open a bottle and drink...and drink until i'm "STARVING" and then I raid the fridge and cupboards for crisps and stodge etc.THAT'S WHY I'M FAT!!!!
Hi guys. Don't know what kind of solution you are looking for, but I can vouch for the LighterLife programme. It totally changed my life.
You have to get your GP to sign you on to it, and you have to have a regular monthly blood pressure check. The best think about it for me, by far, was the counselling that went along with it.
The biggest realisation for me was that losing the weight was only half of the journey. It would be pointless without getting an understanding of why I over ate in the first place, and learning new ways of thinking and behaving around food.
I was/am very lucky with my counsellor, who is excellent. She was 22 stone 5 years ago, and has stayed a size 14 now for 3 years. I'm one year on now from my weight loss, and whilst it has been TOUGH, I manage to stay fluctuating within half a stone of my ideal weight, and I still go to my management group every week to get my head back in the game, to quote HSM .
It's hardcore, but for good reason, and once you're into it, it's incredibly liberating. I felt free from being enslaved to food for the first time in my life.
Thanks hecate. Would lager could come under carbs? Because that is my addiction and as eighteen says once I am starving I stuff myself. Yet come morning - I don't eat until 2pm and the cycle begins again.
i feel that would be a great one for me as i am a bit all or nothing kind of girl...ie once i start i cant stop.... so if i didnt start then i may have an answer
Cheeky - yes, it's based on an addiction treatment model. They say if you are addicted to drugs or alcohol, you can remove them from your life, and as long as you don't touch them again, you should be ok. It was also devised by a group of overweight people who felt there was nothing out there for them. In the words of my counsellor "we all know we should eat some cottage cheese and a lettuce leaf if we want to lose weight. We are not stupid, we are intelligent women. So you have to ask yourself, why CAN'T we, or DON'T we do it?" The diet definitely answered that for me.
If you're addicted to food, you are screwed because you must eat to live, you can't remove it from your life.
So this plan aims to remove conventional food from your diet, so you can look around your life without the clutter of food and see what it is that is driving you to eat. It can be extremely surprising, but I have never felt as at home as I was in a room full of women like me, who all had the same screwed up ideas and logic about eating and dieting. It really has been revelatory.
Well...I believe it's a good diet...until you stop. Plus,my friend went on this.She wasn't that big really but she drank alot of beer at night etc.so felt very bloated all the time. She looks good at the moment but her problem is that she can't stop losing weight...which we all could say is a good thing!...but to a very dangerous level.She's had to go through loads of tests etc.And she's feeling really poorly now.So,no, I don't believe in this one.Sorry.
Well, all I can say is LighterLife has worked for me - it's a shame your friend has traded one kind of addiction for another - sounds like she got hooked on losing weight - she can't still be on the diet though I don't think, as they don't allow you packs once you are at a healthy BMI.
I think that whole idea of UNTIL YOU STOP is interesting, because through the counselling, I have learned that it never stops, because you should always be aware of what you are eating.
Also, eighteen, just because it would be such a shame to shut the door on something just based on that one person you are aware of, do you know for sure she went through the management programme, as well as the weight loss programme? We were told to put a bet on putting all the weight back on if we didn't attend management after losing the weight. It's an incredibly strict 12 week plan based on low GI diet to reintroduce normal food back into the diet. Once you've done that, they encourage you to keep going weekly for counselling. So one year on, I am still going to my weekly group.
I lost 4 stone. Ok, I know it's not as much as some of you, but I was still very overweight, unwell, unable to play properly with my kids, and extremely depressed etc. You can't go on this plan unless you have at least 3 stone plus to lose.
It may not be for everyone, but you know when you find something that just utterly changed your life for the better? I guess I do feel pretty evangelical about it
Thank you Cheeky (we have had to learn just to say thank you to a compliment on this diet, rather than bat it back or rubbish it - it's about self esteem!).
I didn't really answer your question before about control around food. The answer is Yes, I do - I have little psychological tools I have learned. The principal one is about "coming into the adult self". Often, we we are over eating, there is often a rebellious child element at work. For me, if someone tried to tell me I shouldn't eat that extra portion of chips, it would make me eat double what I had intended, just to say "screw you for telling me what to do". They also teach you to beware of "I'll just..." There is no "just" when you are a food addict. So in short, if biscuits are your downfall, you may ultimately decide that you aren't a person that can eat just one, so maybe biscuits are only something you have when offered one round at a mates, rather than buying them in, IYSWIM.
There are so many things said on this thread which ring so true of what we have all admitted in this group, and then worked on. They call it "Crooked Thinking". I'll start tomorrow - if noone sees me, it doesn't count - if it's off the kids plate, it doesn't count and on and on and on!
I have had days when I've felt myself going under - old patterns of behaviour around food - especially when stressed, unhappy or overtired. We mostly use food as a sedative -to avoid dealing with what we are really feeling. If we're tired, we eat, we're unhappy, we eat. We're celebrating, we eat, we stressed, we eat. We use it as a band aid for everything, and as such, we fail to deal with real issues in our life...or to properly prioritise ourselves. Instead we get fatter, more miserable about it, and turn to the hamster wheel of food again. It's a pretty terrifying cycle to be on, and at least this diet gave me a chance to step off it for a moment, and taking a f-ing breath!
Yes Sycamore,she did go through all the counselling etc.(COS,TO BE HONEST,I WAS GOBSMACKED THAT SHE WAS EVEN LETTING ANYONE IN....SHE WAS A PROPER HARDENED DRINKER,EATER ETC).Anyway,i'm not trying to put you/lighterlife down. I just want something that works without hurting/putting me in hospital etc.
Forgot to add that whenever I've had these moments of going under again, going back to my weekly group is always the thing that brings me back into focus, and re-energises me about re-embracing healthier patterns around eating.
That's really sad about your friend Eighteen - and of course, it's ridiculous to imagine this diet would be for everyone, so I totally respect your point of view on it - especially as you saw it fail at such close proximity.
A guy at work did it, which inspired me. He did end up with a gall stone, which had to be removed. But he didn't care a jot - he was so happy. So yes, there are bound to be some side effects to such a rapid weight loss.
One final thing on this diet - for cheeky really, since she seems vaguely interested (!). It did get quite a good write up in the Times Body and Soul a while ago. They attribute much of it's success to how motivating it is to lose the weight so quickly. I lost 7 lbs in my first week, for e.g., Some lost 12! A lot of that is glycogen, but it does spur you on. YOu can expect to lose 3 lbs a week or more if you stick to it. They guarantee 3 stone in 14 weeks. Apparently, dieters often lose heart on other diets because the progress is so slow.
Also, in case we aren't all aware of the statistics, I think it's 85% of all dieters put back all their weight, and possibly more, within a year. So, with those scary statistics in mind, I definitely reckon whatever you do to lose the weight, you need SOME kind of counselling alongside it to give you a shot of keeping it off.
am doing it now-have lost 10lbs in 5 weeks and it's easy.
normal food in good sized portions. choice.
if you want a glass of wine, you can have a glass of wine. if you want a bit of chocolate-you can have some.
it has made me look at what i am eating and realise it's not 'normal' to have ice cream after lunch every day. it's not normal to eat all the crisps in the cupboard in one go.
it's early days yet-i have another 5 stone to go but i think i'm on the way.
Yes, we mostly confuse thirst for hunger - apparently they feel the same in humans.
Many of us in our group confessed we didn't think we'd properly had hunger pangs in absolutely years. They are a novelty - but you know, I'm still learning and by no means setting myself out as the "all cured" lighterlife girl. Everyday I'm having some little internal battles around what I will or won't eat. I just hope that as time goes on, the noises in my head will quieten down.
Interestingly - I have a thin friend who I asked about her eating habits to get some insight. She was so shocked I considered her my thin friend. She said she felt like a fat person constantly fighting not to go back down that road...I was so . She is ridiculously militant about her diet. So, you know, I think it's pretty much a myth that anyone, in this day of super sized cookies, and muffins (compare portion size of starbucks muffins now to what you'd have got in the coop cafe when we were growing up!) gets to just "eat what they want". Its just that some people have mechanisms in their heads to put limits on things.
Sycamore, I've got a friend who has lost 5 stone on Lighterlife and feels/looks great, well done for your weight loss
What about exercise? It's a well known fact that we need to burn/not eat 3500 calories to lose 1lb in weight so Ive been trying to combine limiting my calorie intake with exercise (a mix of walking really fast with the pram and gym sessions/running) to achieve weight loss.
Good luck to everyone, it's fab that you are ready to talk to the Dr etc, I hope you achieve your target
Sycamore - You must feel really chuffed - you deserve it though as it must have been hard work.
I briefly looked into Lighter Life and was a impressed by the speed with which you can expect to start losing - I think it is right, for me anyway, that the horribly slow pace of losing weight is a hugely demotivating factor.
The other thing that is a huge demotivator for me is that food always seems to be a factor, something you have to give head space to forever more - there seems to be no cure. All the slimming clubs seem to have some sort of maintenance plan and lots of people simply don't keep the weight off.
I hate the idea that it is something that I have to think about forever more - that I can't just eat a healthy diet and not worry about my weight or what I eat because if I take my foot off the pedal it will be back to square one.
And I am using this as another excuse for not doing anything but that is pretty pathetic.<deep sigh>
I have bought myself Wii Fit last week and used it for the first time this morning, now nobody is around! It could be good, if I can be bothered to keep it up. Now all I have to do is get a grip on the eating! Easy!
Niece - don't lose heart - although I completely understand where that is coming from - I feel it too! If it helps to think of it this way:
When you first learn to drive, you feel awkward, every little action has to be thought about, and is separate from another. You feel like you'll never get the hang of it. Then somehow, it all comes together, and after a few years of driving, it's all second nature, like one fluid movement.
This is how it can be with food, I think, if you practice eating well for long enough. It becomes automatic to reach for the wise choice most of the time, and allow yourself to indulge and really eat the stuff you love, say, just on weekends, or around special occasions.
At least you recognise that you are using it as an excuse - the first step is coming out of denial!
I still don't excercise to my shame, but with my two very small children and a full time job, I have to accept that I can't do everthing. So yes, my stomach doesn't stick out anymore, but it's still saggy as an old sack!
hello everyone.. please can i join you all? i have to go out now but will come back later, and talk to you about my problems with food, and what the gp has recommended for me.
today i feel really repulsive, have eaten far too much over the weekend. i am certainly not one of these people who do not eat through times of stress. i comfort eat, till i feel sick.
i really hate myself and my disgusting appearance today.
i really hope you lot are feeling more positve than me. i am hoping that today is just a bad day. xx
Come and have a chat and we'll cheer you up. I am sure that it isn't as bad as it seems - today is a new day and all that.
Sycamore - thanks for your wise words. I know what you are saying but it all takes so long! I know it has taken 4 years to get into this state but I just wish it wasn't going to take 4 years to get out of it!!
I so don't want to become a diet bore even if the only person I bore is myself!!
It'd definitely overwhelming when you think of it like that - too overwhelming in fact - you can't look at such a big mountain and hope to be able to climb it. Much better I think to think about one day at a time.
One thing I can PROMISE you, is that WHEN (not if!) you get to a place where you have lost the weight, the feeling is so incredible that you have renewed energy to keep on the path. It's not the same feeling as it is when you are still carrying the weight. At the beginning of this diet, I actually felt like I was already in mourning for the way I eat - i.e whatever the fuck I pleased. I DID NOT WANT TO STOP EATING, I JUST WANTED TO BE THING AGAIN!
Well, once you're thinner, your body actual does seem to demand less food, and the longer you can maintain, the less fluctuation seems to occur after a heavy meal or whatever.
Don't think about the top of the mountain. Think about today, and that 7 todays eating well could mean 3lbs off by this time next week.
Do a little chart - put stickers on it when you've acheived an ideal day. Crucially, have a sensible plan, and stick to it. Don't let your head suddenly talk you into the fact that you're now doing atkins, even when you're on Weight Watchers, because you can't resist some bacon and eggs etc. Nothing so shitty as trying and failing.
Finally, don't start until you are in that head space where it's do or die. Once that switch clicks - go for it, don't waver, and do not look back!
Sycamore you have many wise words - I just want that click moment to happen now. To get to the point where I can't stand being fat any more and HAVE to be thinner. <stamps foot>
I know in my head I need to be thinner, goodness knows the evidence is there when I look in the mirror but I still can't get that motivation going.
I really don't think going to a slimming club will cut it for me - if I don't follow the plan or lose any weight, it will just be a case of 'sod it, I won't go this week' and that will be the end of it!
But you are right, I know that already, the first step is to lose a few pounds, probably half a stone or it will feel like a normal fluctuation or a fluke, and then I might feel that I had something worth continuing with.
DA I agree with MMJ Slimming Wordl is fab. I'm also 5"7 ish, when I started SW I was 16 stone 4.5 and a size 20 I am now 12 stone 8 and ideally want to be around 11 stone. It really has been the best thing I ever did and i've done it twice as I got pregnant after losing initially and put 2 stone back on! I never go hungry on SW it's family friendly and easy.
I've had success with weight watchers - I don't like diets that don't let me eat a balanced diet (e.g. low carb/high protein)
I consistently lost weight on it, but stopped for some seemingly good reason (the £5 a week is always one!) then the loss stopped and over the next year or whatever, it crept back on.
I'm currently 16st9 having lost a stone from BF and carrying a 22lb baby everywhere in a sling. The weight seems to be still coming off, but if it stops then I think I'm going back to weight watchers, as I'm pretty sure my weight contributed to making my labour not the best (monitoring bands wouldn't stay on, so they broke my waters to put a scalp monitor on then wouldn't let me move!)
Anyway, I can completely identify with the bingeing, obsessive eating etc, although I seem to go through phases with it.
I feel like a fat hideous frump too. I am 5ft 7 and about 16 and a half stone.
Tried WW. Tried SW. Tried Atkins - lost 2 stone. Put 3 back on. Tried SW again. Tried low GI. Tried Atkins again.
Have just bought Jason Vale's juicing books as recommended by a few others on here. Planning on starting on Wednesday as am out for dinner tomorrow night.
I know my problems. I eat too much, drink too much and don't exercise. Funnily enough I don't eat mega portions generally - my MIL can't understand why I am overweight as she cannot leave food on a plate and I can. I have a problem with carbs - really love stodge.
Sometimes stopping eating completely helps you "readjust" your eating problems.Not having to worry about being tempted and cheating is great when you get into the swing of it.Yes you miss food alot,but when the weight comes off so quickly you stay motivated.
I need to loose weight. Several people have commented on my size recently asking if I'm pregnant again I'm about 5'6 and 13st 4, not massive but very noticeable. Can I jump aboard this thread with you guys for a bit of motivation. I love nachos, cheese and salsa and walkers sensations balsamic vinegar crisps. They're the things I really need to kick, but only have them about once a week.
i have had really good days with no binges I have been having hot soup for dinner which has been lovely.... with no bread!!! and lots of water
how is everyone else?
for the record i think walkers sensations crips should be banned!! i love the sweet chilli ones. and quite often have a giant bad. and i wonder why i am overweight
I thought I had had a really good day yesterday - virtually no snacking and I even did some exercise.
And yet I seem to be 3.5lb heavier this morning than I was at the weekend (I know, I know, only weigh once a week....blah, blah, blah but I thought at least I might be the same or even have lost a tiny bit).
Anyway, is it any wonder that I give up before I have even started!
However, I am still being good with the food today, even if I am not doing any extra exercise due to the aches and pains of yesterday's efforts.<wimp>
For the record all crisps should be banned - I can give up chocolate for weeks (and I really, really love chocolate), no problem but crisps are another matter. I am sure they are injected with some addictive substance.
Another one here with food ishoos, at around the end of April '07 I weighed 18stone on the button and was a size 18 - 20(am 5ft 8")
I didnt go to classes but photocopied info off a friend and tried weight watchers at home, within 10 months (Feb 08) I had 7 stone 3 lbs off - making me 10 stone 11 lbs and a size 10ish (the odd time a 12)
I am absolutely terrified about going back, so to speak. I love food, I still binge but can somewhat keep it under control - I wish I was a "normal" person who wasnt thinking about dinner at lunch time etc... hate it... why am I like this?
. She is ridiculously militant about her diet. So, you know, I think it's pretty much a myth that anyone, in this day of super sized cookies, and muffins (compare portion size of starbucks muffins now to what you'd have got in the coop cafe when we were growing up!) gets to just "eat what they want". Its just that some people have mechanisms in their heads to put limits on things. 
