Feeling disgusted with myself

(19 Posts)
EllieCook Thu 14-Feb-13 10:09:32

Just want you all to know that you are beautiful. No matter your size, no matter your age, no matter how much money you've got in the bank. You are beautiful and you have something to offer. I'm sending you all the biggest hug ever.

Size does not equate worth.
Shame is useless.
Love yourselves.

xoxoxo

PrincessUnderpaid Tue 12-Feb-13 10:23:11

DS is obssessed with LOTR so thank you Willie for that analogy, I will just have to remember that my health is my precious NOT the biscuit packet.

i have had years of disordered eating, with both long periods of starvation and long periods of binge-eating, as well as shorter cycles of binge/starve. i understand the misery and feelings of self-disgust. please try not to feel like that, please try to be kinder to yourself (i know full well this is easier said than done)

in terms of the physical eating behaviour, i have found that reducing carbohydrates helps, because it controls blood sugar highs and crashes which lead to more physical cravings. also eating more fat, which helps with feeling satisfied in conjunction with reduced carbohydrates

although this helped stabilise me, it wasn't a complete cure, and i knew i needed help with the psychological stuff. i went to the GP and am in the early stages of eating disorder therapy

do consider seeing your GP. you might feel your problems aren't 'serious' enough, but if your eating is having a negative impact on your life it is important enough that they should offer you support

i would suggest in the first instance keeping a food diary, with timings and noting how you're feeling at the time if you can. note everything you're eating, however small. this might help you analyse your triggers/reactions a bit more and work out under which circumstances you overeat. the very act of being accountable (if only to yourself) might help you avoid overeating, it might not, but at least you would have more insight into why and how it happens

changing routines can help, e.g. if you go into town past a certain shop then try to go via a different route. invite a friend over on an evening when you feel you're at risk of a binge

i do know though that this is all easier said than done, but honestly, if i can do it anyone can.

someone once likened the arguments you have with yourself where you know what you're doing isn't doing you any good, but you're going to bloody well do it anyway, as being like smeagol/gollum, and I think that's quite a good analogy

GloryWhole Mon 11-Feb-13 23:41:32

I ordered a calzone pizza and chips earlier (i'd had my dinner) :-( Ate the lot.

Re: the previous posters about the creme egg thread - I read that too, and i thought how i could have easily done that, and how i have eaten the equivalent calories and more in one sitting.
I've also read other threads on here where people have said about eating crisps and a bag of sweets in one sitting and there's been cries of 'how could you? Doesn't it make you feel sick, etc etc?'

I do feel ashamed at how much i can and do eat.
But what's the best way to tackle binge eating issues?

As i've said, i'm not considered overweight by BMI standards, but my diet is shocking (and i have been obese in the past), and i really do want to tackle the binge eating, as i'm worried about passing my issues onto my young toddler DD.

roughtyping Mon 11-Feb-13 23:07:33

I have been 'OK' today hmm - bar of galaxy & shared popcorn at cinema with DS & OH, then a cookie later. Been on my cross trainer and lots of walking, so don't feel too bad. It's just so quick to all be undone.

PrincessUnderpaid Mon 11-Feb-13 15:18:53

Managed a lunch of cup a soup a banana and a whole packet of chewing gum :/
Oh god im in the office and I can see a bag of giant buttons for all to enjoy,allowing myself a break and a bit of MN time instead of reaching for the bag and going cookie monster style snaffling on the whole bag. I feel so WEAK

But why? I read that thread too, and unless this was a complete one off it seemed clear to me by her actions that the op was a bingrr. If shed said she ate 10 creme eggs then put her fingers down her throat, then again, unless a complete one off, she'd be bulimic, surely. Disgusting and ashamed are a different matter I agree.

SetFiretotheRain Mon 11-Feb-13 14:06:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GloryWhole Mon 11-Feb-13 08:47:12

<sneaks in behind PrincessUnderpaid>

Ate a big family pack of Doritos and dip last night, followed by a packet of biscuits, followed by a huge bowl of cheesy pasta. This was at 11pm... :-/

There is now no more crap in the cupboards, and today is the day i will not be replacing the crap (as it would only be gone by the end of the day)...

I know i'm a binge eater. I have been for years.
I'm not technically overweight - i'm a healthy BMI, but could do with losing a few pounds. I have been very obese in the past, and managed to lose weight then, but just can't seem to deal with the issues (whatever they may be!??) that cause me to binge eat.

PrincessUnderpaid Mon 11-Feb-13 08:30:13

sneaks in sat yesterday and ate 2 toblerones and a packet of chocolate digestives I had to go to bed before I cracked the cereal out in full force. I know im not really hungry but i never seem to reach for the bag of apples.

OrangeLily Sat 09-Feb-13 12:02:12

Get the stuff out of the house! DH and me both struggle with this and are doing WW. The only way we avoid constantly eating crap is to not have it in the house. We could have got through all that in one sitting.

MyGlassIsJustHalfWet Sat 09-Feb-13 11:54:46

You know, you can always 'start again' at any point. Now, this afternoon, tonight, tomorrow. It's hard but try not to beat yourself up as that won't help.

SetFiretotheRain Sat 09-Feb-13 10:51:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You're a binge eater, so am I. Note the "actually went to bed early in case I started on something else" - so you can apply willpower.
Join us on the Motivational Monday thread (though I realise you need to maintain rather than lose) we all seem to suffer from this but are coming to the realisation that one day of bingeing is one thing - one day of bingeing which then means you give up and continue to make bad choices is somethig else althogether.
So what I suppose I'm saying is turn the self-disgust into something positive!

roughtyping Sat 09-Feb-13 09:59:13

Same. And I really can't - getting married in August. Had a cry last night then got OH to bring cross trainer thing in from the garage. Did a bit last night and this morning. Like a PP said, once it's in my head that I've done badly, I just keep going...

targaryen24 Sat 09-Feb-13 09:52:32

Hey there.

Also a fellow occasional binge-eater grin
You sure there's nothing that's getting to you that might have spurred that.
Sounds stupid but sometimes I do it BECAUSE I already feel like I've let go/am disappointed about it etc. Counter-productive or what? Plus, I'm an lp with a DS so I get INCREDIBLY bored in the evenings (no excuse but it sure as hell doesn't help).

Try and be a little kinder to yourself about it. Guilt/disgust isn't a very good motivator & just cus you overate a little, doesn't mean you need a mental beating for it. Just accept it happened & try to work on it as best you can. You're only human smile thanks

MyGlassIsJustHalfWet Sat 09-Feb-13 08:50:03

Snap. No idea why and hate myself for it. No self control I'm afraid. Me that is, not you!

rusmum Sat 09-Feb-13 08:35:44

I feel ur pain. I lost 3 stone last year put 6 lb on at Xmas and lost will to lose it. Also eating crap almost obsessively at times. Biscuits, chic, anything

SetFiretotheRain Sat 09-Feb-13 08:27:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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