Stop Bingeing and Start Eating Healthily Thread

(1000 Posts)
SnowyWellies Thu 24-Jan-13 06:21:40

Would anyone like to join me? I am a yo yo dieter, a failed WW (could not bear the small portions) failed SW (went wild on Free foods) and I eat too much of the wrong sorts of food. I binge then starve and I want to get out of that cycle. I also enjoy my evening 3 glass of wine a little too much! I feel bloated, pasty, tired and I hate how I look in the mirror. I am about to hit 40, and I refuse to spend any more time hating myself. I want to deal with my psychological food issues, and I want to finally be the woman I am meant to be.

I am 5 ft 2 and weigh 11 stone 3.

My aim- to increase fruit and veg. To cut out wheat as I bloat very badly on wheat. To take as much care over my own diet as I do over the diets of my children and my husband. To not treat my body like a rubbish bin.

As of this morning. I am tired. My skin is pale and blotchy. I am very bloated in the stomach. I am aiming to lose 24 pounds, but want to do it properly and without feeling deprived. I want to make this process luxurious, with a focus on gorgeous healthy food.

Today's plan:

Breakfast - fruit and natural yoghurt with a drizzle of honey.

Lunch - home made carrot and coriander soup.

Dinner - fresh veg risotto.

I need ideas for delicious alcohol-free drinks. Currently I love a splash of grapefruit juice and soda water.

Anyone want to join me? The focus is on good food, and to deal with the psychological issues around bingeing and self hatred. I am not a psychologist, just someone who needs- and can offer support!

Weigh in days will be Mondays and Thursdays.

IamMummyhearmeROAR Fri 22-Mar-13 12:24:44

Thank you StillStarving- I needed that wee pep talk. Mini goals are a great idea and 5lbs is much better. I'm going to book myself a facial as a treat when I get there

IamMummyhearmeROAR Fri 22-Mar-13 12:35:29

Oh and I'm going to log all the positives I've experienced as that's a good move too!
1. No more waking up with reflux
2. No more waking up with a 'chocolate hangover' (weird taste in mouth, grogginess, swollen abdomen.)
3. No more self loathing caused by no 2
4. No more aimlessly shovelling any crap into my mouth in a frenzy of cupboard searching
5. No more self loathing caused by no 4
6. Back in my jeans for the first time since last summer
7. More energy and enthusiasm
8. Sleeping better
9. Closer (ahem) to my dh because I feel better about me
10 Enjoying the food I am eating and really tasting it.

Far too many good things to ruin

MissWooWoo Fri 22-Mar-13 16:10:37

I've still got quite a bit to lose Stillstarvin, another stone to get back to my wedding day weight (which was only 6 months ago!!!) and then I'd like to lose another stone on top of that. I hear what you're saying Iam Mummy it does seem so overwhelming despite the weight loss already achieved doesn't it? Ended up having a scotch egg (damn you DH for bringing that home!) before my dinner last night and then later ate a kitkat, went about 700 calories over for the day, no wonder I'm losing at snail's pace.

Anyhoo, I reckon another 10lbs and I will start to feel a bit less of a heffer.

On the plus side, just bought a gorgeous dress for my holiday which totally suits my body shape (50s prom style) and apart from the chubby arm effect it looks pretty good - I won't care when I've had a few cocktails smile. Trousers (as ever) for the plan etc were a nightmare with my thunder thighs but in the end I found a pair of harem pants (I know!!!) in M&S and they look so much better than the usual linen trousers I try and buy for a holiday which I don't even like anyway.

Menu today - the usual yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, a pret mozzarella & pesto toastie ! over 500 calories shock! but never mind as I'm having a very virtuous white fish with green veg for dinner.

Re point 7 Iam I'm finding the opposite!

Stillstarving Fri 22-Mar-13 23:38:55

IAm - I love your list! Glad you put it on here. You'll keep going and you'll get there.

Miss Woo you're very wise to see that you'll feel better partway to your goal. Sometimes I think it's hard to see that weightloss is progressive. I know-doh! But I'm surely not the only one who thinks this wonky way? It goes like this:-
I really need to lose 2 stone
Oh I hate myself I'm so bloody fat
I've got to go to - insert event as applicable - next month
There's no point, I'll never lose 2 stone by then. I hate myself. It's hopeless. I'll just be fat - at aforementioned event -
Bring me buns and chips.
As opposed to:-
Well if I make a start now I'll feel a good bit better by then...
Aaaaargh!

Today I fell a bit - habits of the weekend harder to break - but I'm pleased I've made big changes for me this week so I'm learning and moving on - hopefully!

MissWooWoo Sat 23-Mar-13 09:53:19

are you me stillstarving?? sometimes though it can be more like this:

I really need to lose 2 stone
Oh I hate myself I'm so bloody fat
I've got to go to - insert event as applicable - next month
I'll be able to lose 2 stone by then, I'll do atkins/dukan/low-fat/juice fast*delete as appropriate*
My clothes feel looser, oh, I've only 5lbs, will only eat grapefruit for the next 2 days. Weigh myself on the morning of the event. Oh, I've only lost half a stone, what's the fucking point? It's hopeless. I'll just be fat, I might as well be happy, bring me bun and chips for the next week. Put on half a stone

<sigh>

Just making pot of vegetable soup for lunch and dinner will be beef stew - SNOWING here! FFS!

No booze this weekend, promise!

cafecito Sun 24-Mar-13 01:05:06

*sobs

I did so well, from tuesday onwards - weds, thurs, fri - for me, 3 days straight was very very good after more thana month scoffing immense volumes of chocoalte. then today came- and I realised, not even my 'fat jeans' fit me, I mean- not even my tights fit me anymore, so I can wear stretchy dresses - it's that bad, and that sudden. I have gained A LOT of weight very quickly. Then I startd panicking about all the work I have got to do... and then I went out, and avoided my work... and did not eat anything - until this evening when I have consumed a good week's worth of food in one go shock

[not exaggerating]

and the weird thing is, I am stil feeling hungry. I stopped working out around the time I started eating all the junk again without compensation for it - sort of 5, 6 weeks ago now. So I am unfit, wobbly, lack confidence, lack energy to even start exercising again, I feel rubbish <end rant>

cafecito Sun 24-Mar-13 01:23:42

IAm- love that list smile

MissWooWoo Sun 24-Mar-13 09:57:10

brew and sympathy cafecito

I know exactly how you're feeling right now, I put on a lot of weight very very quicky at the end of last year/beginning of this. I was wearing 3 loose jersey/wrap dresses on rotation because I literally couldn't get anything else on, my jeans were literally cutting off my circulation and I was back in my "fat trousers" and even they were tight, and they're wide legged! the linings of the side pockets were hanging out as there was no room inside the trousers because it was full of my fat thighs. I felt RUBBISH x 10. I've been trying to get my shit together for the last 7 weeks and it's often 2 steps forward, one step back but that's still a step forward at a time which is better than nothing.
What I'm trying to say in my garbled way is, you've had a set back, acknowledge that and now move on. Press the re-start button and keep at it. I had a bad few days about a couple of weeks in, I'd lost 5lbs and then went off piste for 5 days and gaine 3 of them back. I could have given up then but decided that this was the frame of mind that has kept me fat and unhappy in the past. So, I'm now 10.5lbs lighter than I was 7 weeks ago, my fat trousers are getting looser, my jeans are not so tight and I'm generally feeling better (most days!) . Some days it's easy and some days it's not.

Don't give up.

twinklestar2 Sun 24-Mar-13 16:37:50

I agree with the fluctuation - I have good days when I'm 10st 11 then fall off the wagon and end up in the 11s again arrrggghhh. But you can't give up, you have to keep going. I have had a few good days so hoping tomorrow ill be back in the 10s. I need to do this, I'll be so disappointed if I go back to my appointment after 12 weeks and not lost anything.

Menu today

Cheese on toast
Leftover beef curry and rice
A couple of rice cakes and a plum
Something with lamb mince

Tomorrows menu

Cereal and ss milk
Soup and ham salad wrap
Something with chicken for dinner - maybe stir fry
Fruit and yoghurt for snacks

SmellieWellies Mon 25-Mar-13 06:29:20

Good morning everyone.

Sorry, have been AWOL. I also fell off the wagon and felt too ashamed to post (or even read) here. Silly I know, as it seems some of us have been struggling with the same thing!

I really understand the thinking of 'I have x event in four weeks' and then getting depressed. As it happens, 4 weeks today my DMOther comes to visit. She is hyper critical about my weight (despite being very very ovwerwight herself) and the topic always comes up. She has started reading that hypnosis band book and has been telling me that this is what I 'need'. no Mother. I need a mother who does not give or witheld approval based on my weight! Grrrr.

I really really want to be lighter when she gets here so that I can toss off an airy 'Oh, I have stopped worrying about my weight' and deflecting her negative, intense attention. It seems to matter not that I am a good wife, daughter, mother, have had significant achievements in my life- all she seems to care about is how I look. (Memories of being very young - certainly under ten- and having her drag me onto the scales.) I feel resentful that she has imposed her own hangups on me, and resentful of myself that despite being 40, and being AWARE of how she affects me, i still have these issues around food!

Sorry, this is all me me me me me, isn;t it! blush.

Anyway, I am going to HAVE to focus for the next four weeks, with the hopeful aim of having lost 2 pounds a week, which will bring me down to 10 stone 3-ish.

Today:

Breakfast - 1/2 slice toast with ham, a pear and one white coffee
Morning tea - 1 large mug herbal tea and an apple
Lunch - 1 small bowl chicken and vegetable soup
Afternoon tea - 1 mug herbal tea
Dinner - poached salmon filet with salad and low-fat mayonnaise mixed with corainder and sweet chilli.
After dinner - 1 huge mug herbal tea

Exercise - I have the day off (woohoo!!!) so will take the dogs for a long walk.

Have missed a few pages of this thread so will go back and read now. Good luck everyone. smile So many great losses this week!

Stillstarving Mon 25-Mar-13 08:43:28

Smellie good for you coming back!

I imagine your dm is always going to have something to say about your weight regardless of what size you are. You won't be able to please her so you can only please yourself. Easier said than done but if you don't lose the target 2 lb this week don't feel like you're failing. You're not doing it for her, you're doing this to sort out the mess and get a better attitude to food and yourself generally. She helped you get into this and I think somehow you need to find a way to disregard her voice both in your head and in real life if you're going to make changes.

Thus sayeth the woman who spent the weekend with friends and ate and drank like the end was nigh! It was kind of a normal thing to do I think - the not normal bit is that I could let that continue on this week so I need to plan my food for today. It's hard slog this! Also I'm going on holiday with friends next week - UK holiday, outdoorsy, lots of food and wine. I'll be the fattest one there. How do I stop feeling crap about that and wanting to weep? The photos! The self- loathing and pulling at my jumper when we're out doing things so that my huge fat belly isn't poking out... Throwing the towel in this week isn't going to help how I feel next week I know but is there ANYTHING I can do this week to improve things - short of starvation

SmellieWellies Mon 25-Mar-13 18:23:51

Thanks for the words Stillstarving You are SO right about ignoring her voice in my head. I hear it all the time. I am really trying to work on it, and stopping the starve-binge cycle is my aim... to learn to have a healthy, happy relationship with food - and myself!

As for you and this week and what can you do [waggles finger] I think I can repeat your own words back to you! Not to think you have failed if you do not lose what you want this week- but this is a change for life. smile thanks

I would throw yourself into enjoying yourself. I sometimes tell myself when I feel a bit low 'never mind. I will never be this weight again'. it helps a bit. Just go and have a great great time. Oh, an outdoorsy holiday- sounds blissful. Where will you be and what will you do? I want to live vicariously!

I feel a bit better today. I did sneak a snack of a slice of toast and some lean chicken meat in, plus a hot chocolate but I walked the dogs for 2 hours, and stopped at a little pub I have never been to before and denied myself the pint of cider I wanted and had a pint of diet coke. And felt perfectly happy about it. Was a good day- and they have been short on the ground lately so I feel content. After bathtime, bedtime, story time with the DCs I plan to have a bath myself (thus avoiding the bottle of red DH has opened) and will have herbal tea and give myself a face mask.

One day at a time. Someone told me once the benefits of exercise are cumulative, and I guess the benefits of each individual day of not bingeing are cumulative too.... not only on your waistline, but also on self esteem. For me anyway. Today I feel positive. This past weekend I really thought I ought to throw in the towel and resign myself to being unhappy with my weight.

Hope everyone else is going well. Happy Monday. smile

Stillstarving Mon 25-Mar-13 19:27:39

Smellie you're right of course. I love the thinking "I'll never be this weight again" I'm going to use that. And yes to needing to see this as part of a process. The panicking about this week is part of the old habits.
I'm glad you've had a good day, well deserved.

BambieO Mon 25-Mar-13 22:03:15

I'm back! I lost you all for a while. Am back on the wagon with a vengeance!

How is everyone doing today?

twinklestar2 Mon 25-Mar-13 22:49:29

Had a good day today!

Tomorrows menu

Cereal and as milk

Soup, ham salad wrap

Chicken stir fry

Fruit and yoghurt

twinklestar2 Mon 25-Mar-13 22:49:46

SS milk not as milk!

BambieO Tue 26-Mar-13 08:37:02

I had chicken stir fry last night smile

Today is

Weetabix

Soup

Roasted mushrooms with mozzarella and salad

Snacks- apple and pineapple

Doing jillian this morning and have a girly gym session gossip tonight

twinklestar2 Tue 26-Mar-13 23:05:20

I need to stop snacking, I spent 500 cals on snacking today (including birthday cake). I have to realise that I have to be good 100% of the time for this to work. So angry as I was 10st 11 a couple of weeks ago and could have been in the low 10s by now but I'm hovering around the 11 stone mark still grrrrr.

Tomorrows menu

Cereal and ss milk
Leftover shepherds pie
Chinese Chicken curry and rice or noddles
Fruit and yoghurt

AND NO SNACKING! Work always has lunch meetings and there's always leftover food or someone's birthday or chocolates or something! I have to say NO to everything or I'll be fat for my appointment in 7 weeks and I'll be gutted.

cafecito Wed 27-Mar-13 00:13:30

Thank you for the understanding!! I am doing okay today-! yaaay. yesterday was better, but I still ate about 12 cereal bars and a whole pot of honey with my yogurt at 2am

ehem

yes today has been good and healthy. I feel better, but very awake. I nearly broke it but went into somewhere for 3 enormous servings of healthy curry and they had run out, so came away with a small smoothie instead at lunchtime

I still feel too fat and wibbly wobbly to get back into my exercise routine though

does anyone else have 'trigger foods' ie if you eat that one thing, that's it it's all downhill from there?

also, this is mad I know, but I am a bit weird I find it really difficult to have food at home. Like, if there is food in my apartment, I HAVE TO eat all of it before the next day, so I can start the next day with no food hmm which is totally mad, and totally not viable with a small child - but when it's just me sometimes, this is what I do- I think deep down, it's because I have this restrictive drive so I deliberately get rid of all food (BY eating it!!!! which makes no sense whatsoever) so that I won't be able to eat it the next day confused [oversharing] grin blush

cafecito Wed 27-Mar-13 00:18:18

yeah it's pretty revolting really, and a total waste of food and money and makes me hate myself and means none of my clothes fit me

However, I am OFF the chocolate! which is great I feel much better. I did have snickers earlier in the week, but to be honest, I didn't even like it. I think I have well and truly overdosed.

trying to have things in the day which are healthy to keep me going, rather than crashing on empty - bananas etc. I used to find bananas scary but I am now quite happy with them blush [sound mad] [will stop there...]

misswoowoo your post is inspirational 10.5 in 7 weeks is brilliant I know I would feel so much better to be back to normal size.

Labootin Wed 27-Mar-13 05:39:12

Rather too much wine still but food is so much better am having PROPER meals the majority of the time.

Crisps are my downfall cafe, it's the crunch so I'm not buying them .

Blackberries, natural yoghurt, smear of manuka honey and a few nuts for breakfast.

Delicious and nutritious (my new motto)

Lunch will be soup and bread
Dinner pork chops and roasted veg

MissWooWoo Wed 27-Mar-13 11:35:58

hey everyone (glad to be of service cafecito

Early weigh in for me this week as I'll be away on my hols tomorrow and the thought of getting on the scales at 5am was just too daunting. Am very pleased to report a 3 lb loss woohoo! I bloody well deserve it too grin have worked really hard at it this week especially after a disappointing loss of only 0.5lbs over the previous 2 weeks. So, not the 2 stone I had hoped to lose before getting that bikini on but almost half way there at 13lbs, better than nowt. I'm sure I'll put some weight on over the next week but really that's fine, I'm going to enjoy myself and then I'll just readjust when I get back (easier said than done, may need some hand holding)

Post Holiday Plan
- try and get back on track asap but give myself a day or two to ease into it
- do not step on the scales the moment I get back, I will only depress myself and end up stuffing my face
- set myself some new goals
- book myself in for a cut and colour

Right, I'm orf and will be back in 10 days or so .... time for a name change though so watch out for me! Keep on supporting each other wine

twinklestar2 Wed 27-Mar-13 21:39:03

Well done misswoo! Enjoy your hols!

My trigger food is wine! Once I've had a drink, all willpower goes out of the window. I also can't have biscuits in the house as I'll eat loads!

I did snack today but only on a slice of birthday cake - and I ended on cals for the day.

Tomorrows menu

Cereal and ss milk
Lebanese meze for lunch
Something with salad for dinner to make up for lunch
Fruit and yoghurt of needed

twinklestar2 Wed 27-Mar-13 21:39:16

If needed!

BambieO Wed 27-Mar-13 22:32:30

My trigger is also wine angry it is not my friend when it comes to eating healthily!

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