When shall we three meet again? The not quite NT, not quite weightloss thread ......

(840 Posts)
moosemama Mon 12-Mar-12 20:22:34

We were full up ladies, so we finally have our very own weightloss-ish thread! grin

madwomanintheattic Mon 03-Dec-12 19:59:46

A nativity with no tea towels or dressing gowns??? shock how is this even possible?
<am proper rolling at petition though>

<touches wood> daytime accidents far less, and night time improving... <holds breath> he's off the continence meds and supplements... How old is ds, TLP? I forget - mine is 11 in 4 weeks <am not even thinking about birthdays currently!>

When will they make decisions about redundancies? Is it a definite, just who? Or still a maybe....

TheLightPassenger Mon 03-Dec-12 19:53:51

it's a mare, the whole work/childcare/inbetweeny kid thing. atm I just have holidays to cover but if I get made redundant then doubt I will find a mornings and early afternoon job. As I want to keep an eye on DS after school due to all the movicol etc issues< I can't consider fulltime work.

moosemama Mon 03-Dec-12 19:32:50

Huge political unrest with dd's nativity though. Parents are up in arms and a petitiion has been delivered to the HT because . . . they aren't allowed to dress up in nativity costumes. Just red or green tops and either black skirt or trousers - by order of the head of KS1. shock

Parents are working out how to flaut the edict by adding sparkles etc.

Rumour has it, it's because the head of KS1 is a reception teacher and to have our cute little 3 year olds dressed up, would detract from the reception children's cute factor.

hmm Seriously! I wish all my worries were that important!

madwomanintheattic Mon 03-Dec-12 19:11:44

the noro fairy is a bitch. grin

Fortunately she hasn't been here since the summer. grin

The stupid thing is, I didn't want that job. I just needed the money, and I thought I could make it work, but I couldn't. <I turned down an identical job last year in September>. I really wanted to stick it out, but when my pay went in, and we still couldn't afford the mortgage, and everything was in such disarray at home, it just felt completely futile. It wasn't even going to solve one problem, whilst it was causing another. grin I was so pleased to finally get it, thinking it would be a huge weight off my mind stress wise, but it was worse. So I definitely need to rethink before next time!!

Dd's first nativity, moose! Awwwwwwwww!

moosemama Mon 03-Dec-12 19:02:54

TLP, sorry you've had a bad November as well. It seems everyone has had a horrible autumn this year.

I reckon if I do weigh less than you it would only be by a few pounds. I have been immobile and comfort eating. blush

TheLightPassenger Mon 03-Dec-12 18:58:54

oh no, I am so sorry I missed your november post Madwoman. sorry about the job, hope you find a better one soon. We had a dismal November, visited by the noro fairy, movicol woes and an awful month at work.

Moose, I have kind of stalked you a bit on SN board etc so am mostly uptodate! glad that you have a "plan" re CRPS and think you will be up to exercise in the nearish future.

Moose - bet you still weigh less than me, tis the rule of the fred! I have put on a fewish pounds, as been too miserable to exercise. Now 12stone 8. But I knew my mood would plummet as clocks went back so am almost pleasantly surprised its not been worse.

moosemama Mon 03-Dec-12 18:57:09

It all makes sense with ds then, new routine with the job and after school care - my ds1 would probably react in much the same way. In fact he's only just getting used to me taking them to school every morning and dh hasn't been doing it for two months now.

Going back to the city pych sounds like a plan. As you said, there should be a review anyway after a year and she should hopefully be able to come up with a follow-on plan.

Great news about the continence improvement though.

You are where we were with the money thing this time last year. We were all panicked out by the time we actually managed to get something worked out with the bank manager. Came out of there with a massively scary consolidation loan, but still felt oddly calm about it all.

Things are looking better on the horizon with dh's new job, but he's only just had his second month's salary and we have a long way to go before the extra money starts properly digging us out of the whole we were/are in. We're still going to have to sell the camper, but have to outlay £££s on it first to make it saleable. Still dreading breaking that one to ds1 though.

madwomanintheattic Mon 03-Dec-12 18:52:50

Oh, you'll like this. I kinda like it. But it makes me want to scream.

The learning support woman says ds is very happy in school, and that's the main thing, and the thing we should all focus on. Sounds great.

I am unclear how this was not the priority when they were emailing me with a list of complaints about him not doing his work, bring his trumpet, etc etc. presumably I can now just reply 'but at least he's happy!' And wend my way off into the world without worrying about him accessing an education.

If he is happy at school, it is because you are not asking him or expecting him to do anything. Completely demand avoidant typical.

Sometimes he does seem to flip over into PDA from ADHD... <sigh>

Anyway, I'm waffling and the dogs need to go out in the snow. Brrrrrr!

madwomanintheattic Mon 03-Dec-12 18:44:14

I think she's going to discharge because we are getting somewhere with the continence, which is what she was originally working on... And I think because we all know what should help him with the other stuff, just that there are a variety of reasons inc dx, why that is tricky and a bit variable. So she is running out of things to say! grin I do get it. I'm going to discuss the latest saga with her anyway (the math thing) and she might extend it a little. If not, I may go back to the psych in the city, to discuss where we are at now wrt extension etc. it's a year since his assessment and dx, so it would be reasonable to go back and get a follow up, in terms of what she had suggested, I think. <sigh>

It means claiming on health benefits though, so will need to check! grin

Today I am strangely zen about the money thing. It is now so bad that I am completely ignoring it. Even dh voiced yesterday that we might have to look into selling my car and getting something cheaper. I've been thinking it for months. It's pretty much the only asset we've got that is paid for!!

It's interesting though. It means that if I get one of these jobs, I really have no choice, so I need to shore up the 'dealing with ds' deal before I start and make sure it's all watertight. I can't afford (literally lol) to cross my fingers and hope for the best...

madwomanintheattic Mon 03-Dec-12 18:36:42

Ah, hadn't talked about childcare... <keep forgetting where I left off lol>

I used our occasional babysitter, who is only 17. It was only for an hour and a half after school every day, and was only supposed to be for two weeks before they changed my hours (they kept extending my 'after school' working). She is great, and really I only needed someone to be there from a safety pov. They are all pretty big, and dd1 is 13 in Jan.

Essentially, though, ds1 would come home from school and plug into electronics for the entire time. Or he would just go off. (Apparently one day he just went to the shop to buy sweets.... He hoards money in his bedroom, so I'm never sure what he's got)

He just didn't seem to see M as an authority figure - normally she only sits once in a blue moon and so they have a pizza/ movies night/ play on the wii etc. So this is what he's associated with M time, so he was locking into that routine every day. And he gets crazy if he has too much gaming. It makes him <more, lol> irritable, and he flips into hyperfocus and loses touch with reality. Takes him ages to resurface and he is foul.

I can't really blame him - it was a stop gap and was only supposed to be for 10 days, plus of course it was on top of a new morning routine because I was leaving at the same time as the kids for work, and I think it was just too much without anyone being in 'control'... Too much handing over of responsibility to him. So it wasn't really her fault, but I kept thinking 'it's only another couple of days' and then they kept extending it. Couldn't afford to try anything else, and no point anyway as it was theoretically for such a short period...

So, if any of these jobs work out, I'm looking into after-school stuff or older after school care for him and dd2. Dd1 is fine and will be okay to come home, but I think ds1 would be better in a more structured (or at least supervised!) environment.

Definitely new year new thread. <sigh>

moosemama Mon 03-Dec-12 18:32:00

So what are the school actually doing now to support your ds? Are they actually listening to your advice?

How come the psych is going to discharge? Is it because the problems aren't MH, but related to his dx, so no amout of talk-therapy is going to help - or am barking up completely the wrong tree there?

I was told that the complex regional pain syndrome actually impairs the immune system and wondered if that was why I ended up with the infection. I think it could have been a bit of both really though, basically my body just said enough is enough and gave up in as many ways as it could muster all in one go!

I am having to take things really steady at the moment. I get exhausted really easily and still need lots of rest, but I am looking to the future and hoping I will gradually rebuild my strength. I really need to sort my diet out, start eating good healthy, nourishing meals and cut out the crap and start gradually building up my exercise. I think the key to managing all this (health and stress) is going to be through nutrition, exercise and generally making sure I have given my body the best chance it can get.

moosemama Mon 03-Dec-12 18:24:16

Oh God, money problems as well. You must be beyond stressed. I'm not surprised you've lost half a stone, you must be burning off thousands of calories will all the nervous stress.

I'll keep everything crossed for you to get one of the well-paid, interesting jobs asap.

Was the childcare one of the triggers for ds getting worse?

Dh can't make the medical appoinments, as he already has time booked off for visiting the independent secondary school, meeting the LEA, EP, Inclusion Team and Senco and dd's first ever nativity.

Mum is taking me to them though, so I won't be going on my own.

I reckon I am two stone up on my lowest weight now. Plan is to get through all this medical stuff and Christmas, try not to over indulge and start again in January. I should be off my crutches by then and able to reintroduce exercise - although I think it will be a while before I start shredding again!

I am stuck between a size 12 and 14 with neither one doing anything to flatter me at the moment - and in actual fact I kind of need the diet and exercise thing as something for myself, iykwim. Not to mention I need to get kick-boxing again to work off my school/LEA related stress!

New thread for the New Year and new resolve? I am determined to at least get back to where I was, I'm honestly ashamed to be seen in public at the moment, I look so bad. blush

madwomanintheattic Mon 03-Dec-12 18:23:26

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I wonder if the infection was the last straw type thing that triggered the sz?

It definitely makes sense in terms of higher susceptibility. I hadn't put two and two together before now...

madwomanintheattic Mon 03-Dec-12 18:22:07

Ha, you bumped it before me!

Next psych appt on 12th. I think she's going to discharge him...

I'm really not sure. I don't think the new teachers grasped him initially (hence the spate of emails etc, basically demanding I sort it out) but they seem to be on side. Well, seemed, the meeting I mentioned up thread was actually really productive.but then learning support called me last week and essentially said 'he's not coping with the class switches'. He's just not going, apparently. But when he goes, he's more than capable of the work (she was at pains to point out to me that he was getting high marks in the g7 class at our meeting).

In the end I just gave up and said 'whatever'. Of course he can do the work. Of course he is struggling with the organization and responsibility.

He has a dual diagnosis of ADHD/ aspergers traits, and gifted.

I mean, I'm no fortune teller, but it isn't exactly a huge surprise. I honestly thought they were going to support him with it though, rather than just do the 'sink or swim' approach. Ad of course, they are essentially blaming his failure on me, as I asked for too much from him.

Um, no. I asked for his dual dx to be taken into account when you put him in a g5/6 split. The grade skip to 7 was your idea. I wanted him in the g6 class doing the same extension work alongside his peers, not having him spend 50% of the time on g5 stuff he did last year. Because his psych report said he needs to be challenged for motivation. I guess it was just a different reading. <sigh> it's no wonder the kid was struggling. He was switching from below grade to above grade, and I'm pretty sure had no idea what the social expectations were at any given point.

Um, yes. Great last line.... Oops. grin. <damn, no edit function>

moosemama Mon 03-Dec-12 18:14:30

Just realised I never came back. It wasn't just a uti. It was a God awful antibiotic resistant Ecoli kidney infection.

Ended up going to the GP three days after A&E and nearly being sent to hospital on the spot. Fortunately he agreed to let me stay at home, as long as I agreed to go straight to hospital if there was no improvement after two doses of the second type of anti-bs.

Fortunately the second set worked, but I was flat out in bed for just under two weeks in total. It was rough.

Took me a couple of weeks to get over it and start to feel human again, then the neuro symptoms and episodes started up again and almost a month to the day the kidney infection started I had the seizures.

No wonder ds1 thinks I'm old and decrepid!

madwomanintheattic Mon 03-Dec-12 18:13:22

Quick bumpetty.

And rofl at cheap Christmas... I wish!

I eventually gave up yesterday and emailed the new bank manager and said 'HEEEEELLLLLP'. She is going to honour all payments until Friday (pay day) and do the math to work out a blend and extend on our extremely high rate mortgage to reduce the payments. I'd been asking the last one to do it for a year, and she said we couldn't. This one appears to actually be doing her job, so fingers crossed.

I've applied for a few more jobs (better paid and actually interesting, hopefully should give me something else to think about), and the uplift in pay means I can get older and more experienced child care in place, which should be less problematic for ds1.

Lots of snow here, racing into ski season grin and I've got ds1 onto the adaptive ski program as well as dd2. I haven't paid for it yet, and am not entirely sure how I will. But it's just over £100 for ten weeks of lessons, and would be sooooooo good for his self esteem, so I've got until January to work it out.

On the upside, I appear to have lost half a stone without trying. Bizarre.

On the downside, sil is back in 2.5 weeks and will, I am certain, be smaller than I am, now. grin I know it isn't a competition, but she has done soooooo well. (She must have lost about 80 lbs now). I feel like a total loser in comparison!

Glad dh is getting his act together. Will he manage to get to your appointments with you?

moosemama Mon 03-Dec-12 18:09:46

Oh gosh Madwoman, I completely missed your last post. So sorry.

Sorry the job had to go. Things sound like they have been really stressful re ds. What do you think has triggered him getting worse? Is he still seeing the psych regularly? What's their take on it all?

Had to laugh at the last line of your post though. grin

madwomanintheattic Mon 12-Nov-12 17:19:27

Hello, hope you find this!

Apols for going AWOL - the whole work thing combined with delightful ds1 going off the rails meant that I couldn't even face our tenuously linked weight loss thread!

I lasted a grand total of three weeks in my job.

During this time I was getting emails from school essentially washing their hands of ds1, and basically an end of the world scenario at home c/o the same child. Given that I was having stress dreams about the job even when I managed to sleep (which wasn't often) I figured that as it was only the money I wanted from that particular job that it wasn't worth it. More to life etc.

<sigh>

So, I have a meeting with ds1's teacher and learning support tomorrow (which I know is not going to go well, given their recent emails).

And on a slightly better note, I'm back at bootcamp, as I no longer have a job. <sigh>

Ah well, onward and upward.

Hope the antibiotics sorted out the apparent uti - (?) very scary. Winter always seems to throw up additional stuff. Did they do their additional investigations? (Lordy, you're going to end up on the ckd list like me)

Fingers crossed that health situation is stable and improving x

moosemama Mon 29-Oct-12 20:30:59

Thought I'd better bump the thread before we disappeared into oblivion.

Hoping everything is ok with everyone else.

Sorry I've not been around much, still not well, but getting there slowly.

moosemama Mon 22-Oct-12 10:02:43

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I must be cursed.

Was sent to A&E at 5 o'clock this morning when I woke up desperate for the loo, didn't make it and passed loads of blood in my wee. Continued to pass what looked like pure blood for the next hour whilst shivering and shaking, called OOD, who sent me straight to A&E.

A&E staff couldn't be arsed to open the doors, let alone treat me some courtesy. hmm I was stood outside in the rain on my crutches for 5 minutes before they answered the buzzer and yet I was the only patient. hmm

They were basically dismissive until they asked for a sample and saw what it looked like.

Have been given antib's for 3 days and have to follow up with the GP as doc said that much blood would be unusual for a uti, so I will probably need further investigation. I am to go back to A&E if it gets worse.

Meantime, I have all 3 dcs home as they all had to be dragged to the hospital with me, because both sets of GPs on holiday and there's no-one else to call in the middle of the night - not to mention there's no way I could get them there and back in the state I'm in.

Dd is ridiculously tired and devastated she can't go to nursery, cue lots of tantrums and dh isn't due home until 10 tonight and can't do anything about it. (It's the inaugural meeting of a user group he's set up with some other professions to do with his work and he's the chair.)

Feeling very sorry for myself. Have sent boys to their room to watch a dvd and plonked dd in front of the tv. Have duvet on sofa and am now going to try and sleep and hope the antib's kick in quickly. sad

moosemama Tue 16-Oct-12 20:45:31

Forgot to say.

I didn't realise you were starting your new job so soon.

Hope it's all going well, in spite of your chaotic start to the week.

moosemama Tue 16-Oct-12 20:44:21

Yep, even knowing it's going to hurt (and boy does it after all that prodding, poking, twisting and exercising this afternoon) I feel better just knowing what I'm dealing with and what needs to be done.

The bad news is that it's a chronic condition, so it's never really going to go away, can relapse at any time and may spread to other limbs. Also, it could well be my body's default response to even minor trauma from now on, which isn't a pleasant prospect, but I'm choosing to ignore that for now. <sticks fingers in ears and shouts LALALALALA)

Glad today is over, but have parent's evening to face on Thursday and that's going to be erm ... interesting, given that dh has put the cat among the pigeons by calling and insisting on speaking to the Head about the state ds1 is in because they have failed to implement his statement properly, are ignoring all his needs and in quite a few cases seemingly doing the exact opposite of what he needs and shouting at him for being autistic. hmm We have a meeting set up for next week, so that's something to look forward to then. hmm (I have a thread in SNs about it if you're bored and fancy reading some mega ranting.)

Lordy, it sounds like you are having a stressful time, between lack of sleep, your new job and marauding parents/leaders. Hope you can get some down time and a good night's sleep tonight.

Oh and you're right about the enthusiastic professional - the glint in her eye was a tad scary to be honest, but at least I know she's keen. grin

madwomanintheattic Tue 16-Oct-12 20:30:29

(Am lolling at the motivated professional... I bet she has the same look in her eye as they do reading ds1's psych report!!)

madwomanintheattic Tue 16-Oct-12 20:29:43

Urgh.
I wrote a huge response before I went to work and the computer ate it. <sigh>

That's a complete pita, but I guess at least you know what you are dealing with now, and have someone on side to help you get through it, even if it's going to hurt like hell...

Life here is chaos. I had three hours sleep on sat, and 5 on sun, so my first day at work yesterday was fun! I caught up a bit last night, but am running on adrenaline, I think. Camp was great, but got thrown into disarray as one of the girls made a complaint to her parents that she was hit by another girl. None of the leaders knew anything about it (it was at about 2.30 am) and so we are all a bit confused - they were all absolutely fine in the morning, no issues at all, but the parent has gone completely mad and started visiting all of the other girls homes to track down witnesses, and even gone to the girl she has accused and started questioning her with no adults around etc etc. oh, and she is also a leader. Which makes it much worse, as she knows the policy and procedure, and is quite deliberately ignoring it. So.... She has been suspended (I put in a formal complaint as she was going into my girls homes and interviewing them in front of their parents, and making them cry). She shouldn't even have been discussing it, it should have been immediately reported for others to deal with. Oh, and her husband called and shouted and berated, and said he was calling the cops and reporting an assault, and the following morning had to call back and ask what had been said the night before, as he was drunk he couldn't remember...

Sooooo, I've spent hours writing reports, and combined with a new job it's been kinda an off the wall week. I'm only two days in and longing for Friday night!!

Right, lunch break over. Back to work!!

moosemama Tue 16-Oct-12 14:36:30

Well ... I have a diagnosis for my foot and it's blooming Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome. sad

Private Physio lady was really good, really knows her stuff and specialises in feet and ankles. She has treated quite a few cases of CRPS in the past.

So, now we know what it is, the bad news. hmm

It's going to take at least another 10 weeks of PT to sort it out and it's gonna hurt. Basically we need to rebuild normal function of the lower leg, calf, ankle and foot and work on teaching the body that the foot isn't actually injured, it just thinks it is. She also recommended a course of acupuncture to turn/tune down the nerves in the foot to help speed recovery.

She did say that it would be unlikely I would have got it properly dx, let alone treated via the NHS route and she should know because she still works for the NHS in a pain clinic, treating people with CRPS!

I have some very basic exercises to do, have to use my exercise bike and not weight-bear for the time being because I don't have the muscle structure to support proper function. I'm not to stand for longer than 5 minutes at a time and have to try and squidge my foot into my MBTs for the school run, but use both crutches so that I am doing normal heel-toe walking action, but without putting any weight on that foot. I can gradually lose the crutches as normal function is restored.

But ... in the meantime it is going to continue to hurt like hell, as my brain has been convinced by my dodgy nerves that my foot is traumatically injured. I can either take whopping painkillers, opt for Gabapentin (which she would request via my GP) or grin and bear it in the knowledge that although it hurts like nothing on earth, I am not actually causing any damage to it.

She seemed quite excited at the prospect of helping me sort it out - especially as she feels my undxd neuro issues might have predisposed me to the condition and also because of my frankly weird hypermobile feet/ankles making it more complicated to deal with. Also, the problem is basically autonomic dysfunction, which of course can come with JHS/EDS. All very knotty as what caused what and what's implicated where, but quite interesting for a motivated professional I suppose.

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