My son is 15 today and noone has remembered

(157 Posts)
sosadaboutmyboy Tue 13-Aug-13 18:26:52

Today my little boy is 15.

Its been 15 years since I held him in my arms and promised to love and protect him forever .

Its been 15 years since I saw his beautiful face frowning at me like he was annoyed with me for giving birth to him because he was nice and cosy.

Its been 15 years since I attempted to dress him for the first time and failed miserably because I knew nothing at all about babies, everything fell off him.

Its been 15 years since I knew what unconditional love is, and knew that I could suffer anything for this little person I had made.

It has been 14 years and 7 months since he died and I knew, in that moment my life would never be the same, the sun would shine that bit less brightly and when I am happy there would always be a tinge of sadness too.

He was my life then, he is still part of my every day life now, I have photos all over my house, I took his clothes out of his box earlier and held them to my face, but I can't smell him on them any more, I held his teddy bear close to me and closed my eyes and tried to feel if he was around me, but I couldn't feel him either, I feel like I am in physical pain today which is made all the worse by not one single person remembering, not even my husband (he isn't his dad). Everyone just got up as usual and has been doing their usual things, people have called and asked for favours and had general chit chat, I just want to scream at them all and go and curl up into a little ball until this pain passes.

I don't really know why I am posting, I just want someone to know he is real and he is loved and is never forgotton. I don't get how someone so important to me, and whos death has shaped my whole adult life can just be nothing to those around me. Its like just because he was born and died so long ago that he doesn't matter to anyone else now.

Please feel free to ignore this, I just needed to vent somewhere.

(I namechanged for this just in case someone does recognise me, I have been on MN for a long time)

ButchCassidy Tue 13-Aug-13 18:29:00

I hope your ok.
He sounds a much loved little boy. thanksthanks

Oh sosad I'm sorry. I can't imagine what you have been through.
Would you like to talk about him? What is his name?

AnyaKnowIt Tue 13-Aug-13 18:29:40

Oh op sad

Lagoonablue Tue 13-Aug-13 18:32:03

Happy birthday to your little boy.

Look after yourself too.

ClaraOswald Tue 13-Aug-13 18:32:07

No words. Just be kind to yourself.

LEMisdisappointed Tue 13-Aug-13 18:32:07

You are his mum and that will never ever change, maybe people felt this is your own personal day with him? So very sorry for your loss xxx

IslaValargeone Tue 13-Aug-13 18:32:22

Oh gosh, I'm sorry.
Do you think that people don't want to bring it up for fear of upsetting you?

HappyJustToBe Tue 13-Aug-13 18:34:08

Happy Birthday to your beautiful son, OP flowers

AhoyMcCoy Tue 13-Aug-13 18:35:08

Happy birthday to your lovely son sosad

He sounds very very loved flowers

I won't ignore you OP. I want to remember your ds with you on his 15th birthday. It would be a painful day anyway, and I'm so sorry it's been made unbearable by other people forgetting. That is unforgivable.

My own dd died nearly 10 months ago, and already people don't mention her anymore. It is absolutely devastating, as you say, to have your precious little person wiped from history. Everything you said about smelling his clothes rings true.

I wish I could give you a hug and I'm so sorry you are going through this. Lots of love xxx

ajandjjmum Tue 13-Aug-13 18:37:49

Shed a tear for your little boy.

Happy Birthday to your lovely son.

Thinking of you OP x

mollycuddles Tue 13-Aug-13 18:40:42

Just hugged my 3 year old a bit tighter
Will hug my own son born 15 years ago later.
Much love

TSSDNCOP Tue 13-Aug-13 18:41:21

What did you call your little boy OP? If it will out you please don't say. But I would like to say a little prayer in his memory.

He knows you hold him in your heart like you held him in your arms.

I hope you find peace today xx

Secretswitch Tue 13-Aug-13 18:42:00

A mum is a mum forever..thank you for telling us about and hugs..xx

MadameJosephine Tue 13-Aug-13 18:42:48

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling but I know if I lost one of my children I would feel that loss forever. I'm so sorry you feel you are going through this alone.

Take care of yourself OP flowers

TSSDNCOP Tue 13-Aug-13 18:44:27

Cup I know it's just words on the Internet, but please know that whenever I see your "name" I think of your little B xx

Vinividivino Tue 13-Aug-13 18:45:47

I am so sorry for your loss. As others have said, he clearly was very much loved and of course you want to mark this day.

Tell someone in RL what day today is and how much it means to you and maybe suggest something practical you can do together next year to mark the day. People may not have forgotten but as others on here have said, just don't know how to approach you about it. Maybe if you can say, "next year I'd really like to visit his resting place/raise a glass to him/make a cake....whatever feels right for you really, you may find people jump at the chance to help you remember him on this special day. to us, we'd love to hear about him.

Take care OP. A big e-hug.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 13-Aug-13 18:46:03

Much love xxx

Roshbegosh Tue 13-Aug-13 18:47:23

So sorry, unbearable, there are no words x flowers

Borntobeamum Tue 13-Aug-13 18:50:01

I'm so very sorry that nobody remembered.
That's awful, but you still have your memories of your darling baby.
No one can take away the fact that he was your son, and you will always be his Mummy x x x

LadyFlumpalot Tue 13-Aug-13 18:51:12

Happy Birthday to your beautiful baby boy.

I can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound stupid or trite so I will just say that him, and you are in my thoughts.


Kn1ttedWaffle Tue 13-Aug-13 18:52:27

I'm not very good with words but thankyou for sharing some of your memories of your lovely son with us.
I'm so sorry for your loss and that you feel alone today. He is obviously very loved.
Be kind to yourself xxx

stillenacht Tue 13-Aug-13 18:53:15

Happy birthday to your precious son. My heartfelt thoughts are with you both xxxxx

ChimeForChange Tue 13-Aug-13 18:54:41

Happy birthday to your precious son OP.

Tell us all about him if you'd like to, I'd love to hear x x

sosadaboutmyboy Tue 13-Aug-13 19:03:21

Thank you all for responding, I wasn't really expecting anyone to, I just wanted something, somewhere to make him 'real' again if that makes sense (it probably doesn't).

His name is Scott, not that I ever called him that he was Scott Dot, or Dotty, or Dotalicious, or Wee Man or Shortie or Sparrow Legs (he had the skinniest legs in the world).

He was utterly amazing. He was quite ill when he was born, and he was in hospital for the first 6 weeks of his life, he had to have an operation and was quite poorly, but he charmed everyone who ever met him, the hospital we were at was 100 miles from my hometown and there were 35 staff from the hospital at his funeral. And they all used to pop in on their breaks to see him too.

He was all eyes and feet. He had massive brown eyes a skinny little body and huge feet and a mass of hair so all the photos I have of him remind me of those little sticky fuzzy advertising things you used to get.

I know no one has remembered, I usually remind people a week or so beforehand because I tend to feel really shitty and I didn't this year. It feels a bit fake when I remind people and a bit forced.

I just can't believe its been 15 years, I keep thinking I would still be crying today but he would be moaning at me for being embarrassing, in my mind he will always be this little gorgeous baby with his wise eyes.

I know I am being really self pitying, and I should tell someone in rl, but I just think that I don't want to share it with people who don't care enough to remember.

Thank you all for your lovely words. I can't tell you how much they mean to me xxxx

Crocodilehunter Tue 13-Aug-13 19:05:29

Sorry for your loss OP!
It sounds like your son experienced more love in 5 months than others do in a life time!
What a lucky little boy to have you as his mum.

JumpingJackSprat Tue 13-Aug-13 19:07:47

Happy birthday to your gorgeous boy xxx

GerardWay Tue 13-Aug-13 19:09:19

I'm so sorry sosad. We lost our beautiful baby boy when he was 4 days old. That was 22 years ago.

It is awful that other family members and friends don't mention your beautiful son anymore. I truly think they 'think' they are doing it out of kindness.

He will always be your beloved baby and son and you will never forget him. flowers and a big hug. X

YoniMatopoeia Tue 13-Aug-13 19:10:44

Scott sounds adorable. So sorry for your loss.

TSSDNCOP Tue 13-Aug-13 19:11:03

Well I now have a lovely impression in my mind of Scott. He was clearly a force in his short time.

You're both in my prayers OP.


5madthings Tue 13-Aug-13 19:12:10

I am sorry no one has stopped to remember Scott on his birthday sad

Happy birthday for Scott and much love to you sosad xxx

Vinividivino Tue 13-Aug-13 19:12:34

Happy birthday Scott. You clearly touched a lot of people in your life, and there a whole load of MNetters thinking of you and your mummy right now. God bless. X

SunnyIntervals Tue 13-Aug-13 19:13:00

Scott sounds lovely and for him to have had 35 staff at his funeral he must have been a particularly wonderful little boy. I am so sorry you lost him, sosad sad I am very glad he had you as his Mummy though - to be loved so fiercely and remembered so dearly for so long - forever.

I am sending you love to get through the rest of his day and some un MN hugs.

yoyoyo Tue 13-Aug-13 19:14:43


picnicbasketcase Tue 13-Aug-13 19:15:03

Happy birthday to Scott, you are both in my thoughts. Take care.

IslaValargeone Tue 13-Aug-13 19:15:17

Oh I am sorry they didn't remember.
He sounds so beautiful from your description and like crocodile said, lucky he had you as his mum.

imip Tue 13-Aug-13 19:16:03

Scott sounds beautiful! I'm very sorry that no one remembered his birthday. I understand. I lost my own daughter 7.5 years ago. I can't believe it was that long ago, so I imagine it must feel like 15 years has flown by.

Gentle thoughts coming your

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Tue 13-Aug-13 19:16:14

Happy birthday Scott. sosad he sounds like a gorgeous little boy and you sound like a lovely mummy.

Gunznroses Tue 13-Aug-13 19:17:32

Scott happy birthday!!!

Helyantha Tue 13-Aug-13 19:18:42

Happy Birthday Scott flowers

VinegarDrinker Tue 13-Aug-13 19:20:19

Happy birthday Scott. I'm so sorry your Mum never got to see you grow up.

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Tue 13-Aug-13 19:20:34

cupoftea, Gerard and imip am thinking of all of you and your DC. flowers

GigiDarcy Tue 13-Aug-13 19:20:56

Happy birthday Scott, thinking of you thanks

Floggingmolly Tue 13-Aug-13 19:21:15

Happy Birthday Scott flowers

LegoRelatedInjury Tue 13-Aug-13 19:21:24

Happy birthday to your darling son and I am so sad for your loss. flowers

ithaka Tue 13-Aug-13 19:23:12

Happy Birthday Scott. Your mum loves you very much, you were very important in this world and are very much missed.

Take care of yourself OP.

CurlyFox Tue 13-Aug-13 19:23:56

Happy birthday to your Scott..please tell someone in RL so you aren't on your own

Wishing your special baby a happy birthday and offering u a hand to hold xxx

Hellonewworld Tue 13-Aug-13 19:25:00

Happy Birthday Scott x

FieryChipotle Tue 13-Aug-13 19:26:24

Happy birthday Scott and mummy xxxxxxx

hufflebottom Tue 13-Aug-13 19:26:30

thinking of you op, happy birthday to your son.


Platinumstart Tue 13-Aug-13 19:27:19

I'm so sorry. I lost my darling boy four years ago, people only remembered because they were reminded sad

Look after yourself today and enjoy your precious memories

Steben Tue 13-Aug-13 19:29:12

This post has moved me to tears, I hope someone in real life can support you OP xxx

FriskyMare Tue 13-Aug-13 19:30:13

Happy Birthday Scott xx

Love to you sosad.xx

Remembering Scott on his special day, and thinking of you sosad flowers

exoticfruits Tue 13-Aug-13 19:35:30

It is hard- you can never imagine that the world can carry on without them. Lots of love- he is alive in your heart, which is what matters. I am sure that love lives on.

Choccyjules Tue 13-Aug-13 19:35:33

He matters to each of us on this thread, even though we never met him. He sounds a real character. Sending you lots of love as you remember him. Don't be strong, just be.

BoiledEggandToastSoldiers Tue 13-Aug-13 19:35:49

Happy Birthday to your dearly missed son Scott. x

MissStrawberry Tue 13-Aug-13 19:35:59

I am so sorry no one has remembered, OP.

I hadn't realised you had posted in bereavement so when I saw he had died it was a catch in the throat moment.

The love you feel for your son comes out so fully in your writing and I am so sorry he died.

MissStrawberry Tue 13-Aug-13 19:38:12

flowers cupoftea.

I haven't seen any posts from you for a while but I just wanted to say there is one person here, and plenty on MN, who still remember Beatrice Primrose and still think of you and your family and wonder how you are.

thefirstmrsrochester Tue 13-Aug-13 19:39:37

Happy Birthday Scott!

sosad you are lovely, your beautiful brown eyed boy and you are in my heart tonight xxx

MrsHoarder Tue 13-Aug-13 19:41:40

Wishing Scott a happy birthday. Those we love never truely leave us flowers

PeppermintPasty Tue 13-Aug-13 19:42:28

Happy birthday to your beautiful boy, forever loved. And much respect and love to you sosad xx

sosadaboutmyboy Tue 13-Aug-13 19:45:15

I don't even know what to say apart from thank you to you all, to know that so many people have taken the time to read about Scott and acknowledge him has moved me to (more) tears.

I am so sorry cup gerard imip and platinum that you are also in this crappy situation. The world is not a fair place.

OnTheNingNangNong Tue 13-Aug-13 19:45:16

Happy birthday Scott. Much love Sosad

Happy birthday Scott. I'm sure somehow he knows how much you love him.

For the first time ever, a thread has moved me to tears. Am going to give my boys a big hug now.

Big hugs sosad xxx

Happy Birthday Scott. Big hugs for mummy x x x x x

chickydoo Tue 13-Aug-13 19:52:24

Happy Birthday to your son
You are in my thoughts

DizzyCow63 Tue 13-Aug-13 19:52:34

Happy Birthday Scott x

Today is also my nephews birthday, and I promise I will think of Scott every year when I wish my nephew a happy birthday. Hugs for you OP xx

LizzieVereker Tue 13-Aug-13 19:53:06

It's not self pitying to remember your beautiful boy thanks , I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.

Happy Birthday Scott, thinking of you xxx

MarnieMadden Tue 13-Aug-13 19:55:12

Happy Birthday Scott x
I'm sorry for your loss OP x

You have painted a wonderful picture of him, I can really see him in my mind's eye.

Happy birthday beautiful Scott xx

Happy birthday Scott.

Be assured that he - and you - are in the thoughts of many tonight.

EstelleGetty Tue 13-Aug-13 19:58:14

Happy birthday Scott. Your mummy loves you so much, and she sounds like a wonderful person. I'll say a prayer for you and mummy tonight. Xx

BigW Tue 13-Aug-13 19:59:47

I am so sorry for your loss. Your little boy sounds amazing with his wise eyes and mop of hair. Happy birthday to Scott and be kind to yourself Sosad. flowers

SantanaLopez Tue 13-Aug-13 20:01:54

Happy birthday Scott! flowers

Chubbymomie2012 Tue 13-Aug-13 20:02:17

Happy Birthday gorgeous boy. Sending much love and hugs to mum xxx

MexicanHat Tue 13-Aug-13 20:03:06

So sorry for your heartbreaking loss OP x

Happy Birthday beautiful boy Scott flowers I just released a balloon for you x

SuperiorCat Tue 13-Aug-13 20:08:32

Happy birthday Scott, greatly loved and missed by his Mum, and in the thoughts of many MNers today.

Gentle hugs OP I am so sorry for your loss.

LastButOneSplash Tue 13-Aug-13 20:10:35

Happy birthday to Scott. Thanks for telling us about him.

When I was pregnant with my son the doctors predicted I'd be in your position a few weeks in, so I can start to imagine your pain. Thinking of you.

Oh sosad I'm so sorry no-one spoke to you about Scott today. That must really hurt. He sounds like he was a gorgeous, characterful baby and I'm sorry you didn't get to see him grow up.

It would have been my dd2's 2nd birthday in 12 days time - the thought of no-one remembering her is horrible so I must admit to reminding people.

Happy 15th Birthday Scott, thinking of you and your lovely Mum xx

Toddlertwinsmum1 Tue 13-Aug-13 20:22:11

Happy birthday Scott.

Thinking of you, sosad

Gobbolinothewitchscat Tue 13-Aug-13 20:23:25

Oh sosad - I'm so sorry and sad to read your post

I'm thinking of you and Scott today, on his birthday.

Thank you for sharing your memories with us. flowers

AlanMoore Tue 13-Aug-13 20:26:05

Happy birthday Scott xxx

OP, I know you probably don't want to be but you (and all the other parents who have lost their children) are an inspiration. I don't feel like I could summon the strength to go on for 14 minutes if one of my children died, and I hate that it happens to anybody, but somehow the fact that loads of you are carrying on, putting one foot in front of the other, makes me feel humble and hopeful and that there is always hope for humanity.

An acquaintance lost her baby son and she and her husband have bourne it so bravely, I think they are amazing.

But I would rather they were a bit twatty and still had their boy. I will send a card on his next birthday.

Sending lots of love to everyone who is living without a child x

JassyAlconleigh Tue 13-Aug-13 20:28:44

So sorry you've felt so alone all day.


onlysettleforbutterflies Tue 13-Aug-13 20:31:36

Happy birthday beautiful scott, you and your mummy are in my thoughts xx

Mycatistoosexy Tue 13-Aug-13 20:31:58

Happy birthday Scott and hugs to your mummy who is very special and brave too xxxx

WeAreSeven Tue 13-Aug-13 20:52:01

sosad, my dd should be two this Friday but she died when she was seven weeks old.
I really and truly don't know why people don't remember their birthdays. I have two dear friends who send us cards, otherwise people seem to move on.
Your Scott sounds like a feisty little man. I hope he is around you but sometimes it is hard to feel them. xxxx

sosadaboutmyboy Tue 13-Aug-13 21:07:06

whatever and weare I am so sorry flowers

Thank you all so much for your posts they mean so much to me, to know my little Scott Dot has touched your lives all these years after he left my arms is more than I can ever thank you for.

My little brother just called, he is bobbing about in the middle of an ocean somewhere over the other side of the world (in a boat, not randomly bobbing about) and he let me know he remembered without telling me. He is a man of few words and had a normal conversation and then before he hung up, he said 'thinking of him always you know'.

I am so grateful to you all xxx

rosyryan Tue 13-Aug-13 21:08:01

Happy birthday Scott flowers

DoItTooJulia Tue 13-Aug-13 21:11:54

Happy birthday Scott.

Sosad, I'm so sorry no one remembered. I hope you are doing ok. X

filee777 Tue 13-Aug-13 21:14:56

Happy birthday Scott and all my love to you sosad my little angel was born sleeping nearly 2 years ago and I know her day will go unnoted by anyone but me.

Any life, however short is a valid life, it is about love and we must treasure that, my memories are in all that I have lost as much as the memories of her. A deep sadness that will be with me for life.

All my love today

coppertop Tue 13-Aug-13 21:19:44

Happy birthday, Scott.

elQuintoConyo Tue 13-Aug-13 21:30:06

Happy Birthday Scott, and hugs for your mummy x

oohdaddypig Tue 13-Aug-13 21:34:42

Happy birthday to a much loved son.

OP you have touched me and my heart and tears are with you and your lovely boy, tonight.

Freemilk Tue 13-Aug-13 21:46:17

Happy Birthday Scott

So glad your little brother remembered

Ahh, Scott sounds adorable smile.
I'm so pleased your brother remembered x

Bumblebee78 Tue 13-Aug-13 22:07:43

I honestly can't imagine how you and all of the other mums who have lost a child must be thinking and wont even pretend to think i know how you must b feeling. My heart truly goes out to you all.

Happy brithday to your darling boy Scott x

Mynewmoniker Tue 13-Aug-13 22:08:38

Happy Birthday Scott smile

GraceAndVirtue Tue 13-Aug-13 22:10:15

Happy birthday Scott. A lovely boy who was clearly deeply loved. Xx

Back2Two Tue 13-Aug-13 22:10:31

Happy Birthday to your son, Scott.
He's not forgotten

Auntfini Tue 13-Aug-13 22:11:13

Happy 15th Scott

okthen Tue 13-Aug-13 22:11:30

Oh he sounds so adorable! Happy birthday Scott

milkysmum Tue 13-Aug-13 22:11:43

Not sure what to say but didn't want to say nothing. So happy birthday to your little boy x

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Tue 13-Aug-13 22:12:41

Happy birthday Scott flowers

youarewinning Tue 13-Aug-13 22:12:46

Happy Birthday Scott.

bamboozled Tue 13-Aug-13 22:17:13

All teary eyed reading this - what a wonderful Mum to carry such love - so glad you shared it with us tonight, so we can send some your way. Thinking of you tonight x

pookamoo Tue 13-Aug-13 22:17:42

I'm shedding a little tear for Scott, and wish him a happy birthday, wherever he may be. Love to you, and wonderful that your brother remembered, what a fabulous uncle.

Azquilith Tue 13-Aug-13 22:20:16

Happy Birthday Scott xxx

Twitterqueen Tue 13-Aug-13 22:20:23

Happy Birthday Scott! You are not forgotten, you are much loved and a part (now) of many people's lives.

We hold you in our arms

ImpatientOne Tue 13-Aug-13 22:21:58

Much love to you Sosad and your precious little boy. So glad your brother took the time to call xxx

LittleMissMedium Tue 13-Aug-13 22:24:38

Happy Birthday Scott. There is a quote that goes something like, "To live in the hearts of the ones we love is not to die". He is a part of you, and you a part of him, and that is something that death cannot change.

Thinking of you OP, and sending a lot of love your way flowers

Anjou Tue 13-Aug-13 22:28:05

Oh, SoSad, I am so sorry. Thank you for telling us about your beautiful boy.

Happy Birthday wee Scott. Your mummy loves you so much and you are missed every day.

cottoncandy Tue 13-Aug-13 22:28:50

happy birthday Scott. I am so glad his uncle was thinking of him too.

ChasedByBees Tue 13-Aug-13 22:32:25

Happy birthday Scott and so sorry for your loss OP. he sounds a beautiful little boy. x

HairyPotter Tue 13-Aug-13 22:34:01

Happy birthday Scott. What a wonderful wee boy he sounds. I'm so sorry you didn't have him for long. Your love just shines through.

I'm so glad your brother remembered. Take care of yourself xx

Happy birthday Scott. So glad your brother called. He is your adorable son and always will be, whether other people remember or not.

BionicEar Tue 13-Aug-13 22:36:54

Sending you much love as you remember your special boy Scott, and a big thumb up to your little bro for being so awesome and caring enough to contact you from his boat to say that he was thinking of you and Scott today.

Levantine Tue 13-Aug-13 22:41:57

Happy birthday Scott. You are very loved. Hugs to you sosad xx

rockybalboa Tue 13-Aug-13 22:42:59

Oh you poor thing. thanksthanksthanksHappy birthday to your little boy. You're his mummy and you remember him and that's the most important thing.

MrsKwazii Tue 13-Aug-13 22:47:55

Happy birthday Scott and a massive virtual hug to you SoSad. Birthdays are so very hard when your child has gone - wondering what they would have looked like, what they would have been interested in, how they would want to celebrate. I'm so glad that your brother has remembered, it is so isolating when you are left alone in your grief. Take care x

Glad that he is thought of tonight by so many, and by his Uncle in the midst of the Southern Ocean ? That's nice of your brother to say those few words to show he always remembers Scott too x

youcantplayonbrokenstrings Tue 13-Aug-13 22:52:34

Happy birthday to Scott, he sounds a very loved and special little boy. He is being thought of today here in Buckinghamshire xx

chocolatespiders Tue 13-Aug-13 22:56:29

What an amazing touching heartfelt post op..

Cant begin to imagine what the last 15 years have been like for you.
Happy Birthday to your darling precious boy x

PrincessFiorimonde Tue 13-Aug-13 23:03:04

Happy birthday Scott.

And hugs to your mummy. My heart goes out to you. xxx

I know it sounds ridiculous but I just shed some tears for you and your son there. This is one of the most heartbreaking things I have read in a long time. The holding his clothes and not smelling him anymore nearly tore me apart. I have a 4 month old, similar to the age of your son when he passed away and I just couldn't bare the thought of losing her. I know my life would never, ever be complete again, even if I had other children. I know that doesn't help, but I am just acknowledging how I know I would feel exactly the same.

As far as people not remembering perhaps they do remember, but either a) don't want to talk about it because it upsets them to remember b) don't want to talk about it because they don't want to upset you or c) they don't know how to talk about that kind of thing. I find it very unlikely that nobody would remember, as obviously they saw your DS, smelt him and smiled at him and held them in their arms so they would've felt pain and loss too.

I am sharing all my hugs to you and I know it means nothing as I am some stranger over the interweb, but I really do care and I am so sorry that your child was taken away from you. Nobody in the world deserves such a horrible thing to happen. But you are right to post about it because talking about things often makes them more manageable. Not better, not easier but more manageable.


Northernexile Tue 13-Aug-13 23:12:57

Happy birthday Scott! flowers

You paint such a vivid picture of him, he sounds like a real little character!

Oh and just to think what he'd be like now at aged 15?

Does he have any brothers or sisters?

Happy Birthday Scott smile x

bluecheque4595 Tue 13-Aug-13 23:20:25

Sorry people forgot your little boy. X

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 13-Aug-13 23:21:09

Happy birthday Scott Dot. Much love to you, sosad and his bobbing-about little brother.

Wuldric Tue 13-Aug-13 23:21:34

Bless you and him xx

recall Tue 13-Aug-13 23:25:56

He is lucky having a lovely Mum like you OP x

therumoursaretrue Tue 13-Aug-13 23:30:44

I'm so sorry for your loss OP and that nobody had mentioned your boy's birthday. I'm glad your brother called, I hope it eased things a little for you.

Scott sounds gorgeous, the way you talk about him is beautiful and he is obviously so loved. Thank you for sharing some of your memories of him with us.

I will remember your lovely boy xxxxx

Mumzy Tue 13-Aug-13 23:35:36

Thinking of you Sosad and Scott on his special day

EATmum Tue 13-Aug-13 23:37:27

What a difficult day for you OP. I am certain that the family and friends who love you have not forgotten him - they may not remember on the right day, because its not engraved on their heart like it is for you, but I'm sure they think of him and you. They may not know how to say it to you either, maybe from an ill- judged reluctance to upset you. So pleased that your brother got it right.

MadonnaKebab Tue 13-Aug-13 23:37:37

Happy 15th Birthday Scott
Tears flowing here Sosad and the other bereaved mums
Much love

SuperiorCat Wed 14-Aug-13 00:10:53

SoSad, I am glad that Scott's Uncle remembered and made the effort to call and let you know, I hope it has brought you some comfort.

ModelVillage Wed 14-Aug-13 00:15:21

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you love.

PeriodMath Wed 14-Aug-13 00:28:09

OP, your post really moved me. I am so sorry for your heartbreak today and, I imagine, on many days. I am remembering Scott with you and I wish you strength for tomorrow and all the days when you feel his loss so terribly.

People are funny. My schoolfriend's brother died when we were teens. I remember it acutely. I know the date too and it always pops into my head that day and I say a little prayer for him but do you know what? I would never contact her or mention it. I suppose I don't want to upset her. That sounds really stupid though, I know.

Sosad I'm so sorry for your loss. Happy Birthday to Scott and hugs to you, his brave, loving Mum x

Thumbwitch Wed 14-Aug-13 00:53:18

(((hugs))) for you. How sad that no one else has remembered with you. xx

ohfuschia Wed 14-Aug-13 01:00:50

Happy Birthday to Scott - he sounds like a sweetheart with a lovely, lovely Mum xx

cafecito Wed 14-Aug-13 01:05:21

Happy Birthday Scott xx

OP, your post has made me cry, I am so sorry that no-one (apart from your brother) remembered Scotts' birthday.

Our children being forgotten is my biggest fear, I can't imagine how anyone could forget, but they do.

Much love to you xx

sosadaboutmyboy Wed 14-Aug-13 15:53:19

Thank you all, each and every one of you, for taking a few minutes to acknowledge my little boy on his birthday.

Everyone on this thread has shown more compassion and care than people I have known for 20 years or more and it means so much to me.

I am so sorry that I share this experience with so many other parents, but I thank you for being kind enough to share a little about your children with me.

I felt so, so crappy last night, I felt so alone (I know it was my own doing, I could have just told someone) but you have all made me realise that there is always someone to share the burden, as I feel like that's what you have done for me.

I had a little chuckle this morning when I thought of him, he would probably be stomping about the house in a teenaged rage just now because I bought him the wrong gadget or because I embarrassed him in front of his girlfriend or something. He used to roll his eyes at me when he was a few months old so I imagine I would have only been more embarrassing as time went on. Sometimes I can smile when I think how he would have been, and sometimes I cry because, really, I will never know and he will forever be a baby to me.

To live in the hearts of the ones we love is not to die - I love this quote, I've never heard it before but it's so true.

Thank you all for your kindness thanks xxxxx

stopusingmynicknames Wed 14-Aug-13 16:00:31

have just come across your thread, sosad. I too am in tears at your loss. Scott had a Mummy who loves him dearly, and your quote is absolutely spot on.
I'm glad that your brother remembered, and I hope that today is proving to be somewhat less of a struggle.

mirry2 Wed 14-Aug-13 16:06:41

Happy birthday to your lovely son flowers

ssd Wed 14-Aug-13 18:17:34

happy belated birthday Scott and big hugs to your mum xxx

and some for your uncle too xx

blondieminx Wed 14-Aug-13 18:23:01

OP you are allowed to be sad and feel pitiful - you were robbed of your child and no parent should ever endure that. Sending you love and strength x

Platinumstart Wed 14-Aug-13 18:39:11

sosad your post re your brother made me cry.

I acknowledge that it can be hard for friends to know how to respond but I wish they understood how unfussy we as parents of lost babies are to the semantics.

I hope your day gas been peaceful

sosadaboutmyboy Wed 14-Aug-13 21:06:45

Thank you so much for your thoughts.

I do feel a little better today. I told dh and he was mortified that he forgot and gave me a much needed hug and I made a cake for my kids and told them too so we had a few tears and hugs and blew out some candles for him and looked through his photos.

Platinum Mumof and filee I'm so sorry that you understand how I feel and thank you for your kindness. flowers

McRoo Wed 14-Aug-13 21:15:41

Happy Birthday, Scott and a huge hug to you.


buzzgirly Thu 15-Aug-13 12:00:30

Happy birthday Scott!

Op I am so sorry that you're boy was taken so soon. I hope you're ok today. Your brother sounds lovely x

GRW Fri 16-Aug-13 20:26:40

I'm sorry no one in RL has remembered, and thank you for telling us about your little boy with his wise brown eyes. It's clear he made a huge impression on the nurses looking after him at the hospital. Thinking of you

ilovecolinfirth Fri 30-Aug-13 07:36:06

Happy belated birthday to you Scott. X

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