I have never made so many people cry ......

(232 Posts)
woollyjo Tue 30-Jun-09 22:11:45

Niamh Hope Anne was born at 4:12am, 30/06/2009, 8lb 13oz. Full term.

Unfortunately no heartbeat was detected during a fast and furious 4-hour labour and she was delivered with the cord tightly wound round her neck.
Niamh's heart never started.

This is our second daughter following 2 miscarriages earlier this year.

She was perfectly formed and looked just like her sister did as a newborn.

We held her for hours

We are lost in grief but delighted to have Mae (2.5)to keep us going.

Sleepathon Tue 03-Sep-13 20:44:25

Wooly what is the book your friend recommended to you please?

You ladies are so brave and I am so pleased that you will all have your rainbow babies.

Still early days for me I hope I don't have to wait too long for my rainbow baby.

GinGuzzler Fri 05-Jul-13 17:43:27

Oh dear Lord, I am so sorry your going through this. Bless you and your family. I send my sincere condolences to you and your H/DP xxxxx

Babyh200 Fri 05-Jul-13 17:36:57

Lilac,
thinking of you, when are you due? Its such a long road this time last year I was still in hospital. I miss my beautiful boy every day......I remember picturing how gorgeous the July weather would be and how I would proudly walk my new baby in the pushchair....instead he got snatched away. How cruel life can be, funny it ended up raining none stop and look at the weather today just like I pictured it tis time last year......if only!!
Thinking of you xxxxxx

LilacBreastedRoller Wed 03-Jul-13 13:28:50

woollyjo, thank you so much for your kind words. It means such a lot from someone who has been there, much as I wish none of us had had to walk this path. I will keep your words close to my heart as we await this little one. Much love to you, whiteandyellow, babyh and everyone else who knows this pain.

woollyjo Wed 03-Jul-13 07:08:19

You are right Lunatic and I have to be there as dd3 will start the nursery class the same day, not sure how it will be seeing the reception class line up knowing Niamh should have been with them. Will book the day off work just incase I end up a soggy mess.

Glad to hear the Pnd has abated, they watched me like hawks with their mood chart after our little star was born.

Xx

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

evelynj Tue 02-Jul-13 21:53:09

My heart goes out to all you ladies who have lost a child, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing & keep talking about your children x

woollyjo, thanks for your reply

I just ave to take each day as it comes, I agree I wont relax until ds2 is here, even then I might not relax properly
for a while

but your story does give me hope, so thanks for posting

thanks babyh too x

Sonnet Tue 02-Jul-13 21:39:38

Thank you for an update! Niamh is always with you x

Babyh200 Tue 02-Jul-13 21:31:30

Woolly,

I'm so sorry to read about Niamh. Your words about the ball of grief are so true. My beautiful chubby boy was 8lb 11oz when he was stillborn last July and we would have been celebrating his 1st birthday on Thursday. I found out I was expecting again at the beginning of March (due in October) and although it's a complete rollercoaster I remind myself every day how incredibly lucky I am to have another chance. In the months approaching Christmas it was hell on earth and my heart goes out to all those still waiting.

Thank you for the insight into what the future might hold emotionally if this little one makes it......every day is a struggle and at the moment October seems like years away. I try not to dwell on the unfairness of it all but sometimes you cant help it! I also need to remind myself not to resent people who don't remember it's his 1st birthday this week.

Thinking of Niamh on her 4th birthday xxxxx

Lilac and White....thinking of both your boys too xxxx

woollyjo Tue 02-Jul-13 13:37:11

Hello to Lunatic & Nothern hello again good to 'hear' from you both, I hope all is well, I'm a perenial lurker these days, shifting silently in and out of threads!

woollyjo Tue 02-Jul-13 13:32:16

LilacBreastedRoller & whiteandyellowiris so sorry to hear that you have been through this too. We will never 'get over' or 'move on' (why would I want to move on from my child?) but you will get used to it. Someone described the grief as a ball, it doesn't get smaller or go away but we grow round it to the point that it doesn't take up your every waking thought.

Congratulations on your pregnancies, we wept tears of relief when DD3 arrived healthy, all the tests and scans gave no reassurance at all, we were waiting for the moment we could hold her in our arms and KNOW she was OK.

Be prepared that your newborns/hormones may bring back unexpected memories, I definately had flashbacks to the days after Niamh's birth in the weeks after DD3 was born. It was a little like dealing with it all afresh again but as DD3 grew we moved away from that.

It also helped that DD3 was distinctly different from Niamh in appearence.

A friend (who had lost her baby at 6 months) sent me a book written by a bereavement mid-wife which had useful bits in it, I'll fish it out when I get home and post the title.

Above all else talking about it helps, it reinforces her existance as so few people met her and also helps our DD1 (then 2.5 now 6.5) understand that I will always be sad about Niamh but I can still be happy about other things.

You are both braver and stronger than you realise xx

smellsofsick Mon 01-Jul-13 21:09:40

Wow Woolly. What a lovely update. Much love to your family. We're thinking of you, Mae, DC3 and little Niamh.

Awks Mon 01-Jul-13 21:02:31

I am so sorry. What a sockk for you all. Much love to you xxxx

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You know what struck me about this thread, is the way you worded the title

That YOU have never made so many people cry, I felt Like that too, like I. Had let everyone down

I'm so sorry for your loss, thanks for the update, I'm kinda where you have been
I lost my ds shortly after he was born
And I am now pg with his brother
I do have a dd who is six
So your update really gives me hope, we will have better days to come

Can I ask have you found it easier to cope as time has gone on ?

Borntobeamum Mon 01-Jul-13 20:42:56

Darn it!
Much love to you all x x

Borntobeamum Mon 01-Jul-13 20:42:35

Much l

Borntobeamum Mon 01-Jul-13 20:42:24

Thank you for the update.
I'm sure Niamh is looking over you and her 2 sisters
Much l

tungthai Mon 01-Jul-13 16:38:37

I'm so sorry.

buzzgirly Mon 01-Jul-13 16:26:02

I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you x

I am so sorry for your loss thanks

I remember your Niamh. Thank you for updating.

motherinferior Mon 01-Jul-13 12:49:25

Thank you for the update. I am so pleased that you have your DD3, while I realise that in no way makes up for the loss of your other daughter.

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