I have never made so many people cry ......

(232 Posts)
woollyjo Tue 30-Jun-09 22:11:45

Niamh Hope Anne was born at 4:12am, 30/06/2009, 8lb 13oz. Full term.

Unfortunately no heartbeat was detected during a fast and furious 4-hour labour and she was delivered with the cord tightly wound round her neck.
Niamh's heart never started.

This is our second daughter following 2 miscarriages earlier this year.

She was perfectly formed and looked just like her sister did as a newborn.

We held her for hours

We are lost in grief but delighted to have Mae (2.5)to keep us going.

oh goodness me i am so so sorry sad

GhostOfPsychomum5 Tue 30-Jun-09 22:14:10

oh my god, I am so sorry.

Greensleeves Tue 30-Jun-09 22:14:19

I am so sorry, how heartbreaking for you all sad

merlin Tue 30-Jun-09 22:14:30

Oh gosh - how terrible. So, so sorry. Thinking of you all. x

cookielove Tue 30-Jun-09 22:15:10

how very sad for you sad sad

foxinsocks Tue 30-Jun-09 22:15:10

oh woolly

Rindercella Tue 30-Jun-09 22:15:15

I am so so sorry. sad

wollyjo, words fail me.
I am so very, very sorry for your tragic loss.
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you will be able to give strength to each other.
Niamh Hope Anne - what a lovely name for your lost daughter and sister to Mae.
My sincerest condolences.

Milliways Tue 30-Jun-09 22:15:28

I am so sorry to hear your terrible news

poorbuthappy Tue 30-Jun-09 22:15:31

sad

don't know what to type,

take care
x

TrinityRhino Tue 30-Jun-09 22:15:31

Oh I am so sorry for your loss
Thinking of you
xxx

woodenchair Tue 30-Jun-09 22:16:31

I'm so sorry for your loss.

4andnotout Tue 30-Jun-09 22:16:31

Oh im so so sorry for you and your family.

gonaenodaethat Tue 30-Jun-09 22:16:37

So sorry.

sad

Ewe Tue 30-Jun-09 22:16:45

I am so sorry sad

Lizzylou Tue 30-Jun-09 22:18:09

Oh sweetheart, I am so so sorry sad

IpeeFreely Tue 30-Jun-09 22:18:53

I am so sorry for your loss

sophable Tue 30-Jun-09 22:19:29

I'm so sorry that you have been through this. Heartbreaking

girlylala0807 Tue 30-Jun-09 22:20:32

I so sorry for your loss

onepieceofcremeegg Tue 30-Jun-09 22:20:36

So sorry.

Love to you and your family.

Noonki Tue 30-Jun-09 22:20:58

what a beautiful name. I'm so sorry for you all. sad

TotalChaos Tue 30-Jun-09 22:21:00

so very sorry.

fishie Tue 30-Jun-09 22:21:32

i am so sorry

Bibithree Tue 30-Jun-09 22:21:46

So very sorry for the loss of your baby girl. You have loved her and that will never change.
sad

Tidey Tue 30-Jun-09 22:21:56

I'm so sorry for you and your family. sad

Oh darling I'm so very very sorry sad

Thinking of you and your family.xx

plonker Tue 30-Jun-09 22:22:41

Oh I'm so sorry sad

ImOverHere Tue 30-Jun-09 22:23:34

That is a terrible thing to happen to you. I am really very sorry for you and thinking of you and your family.

ash6605 Tue 30-Jun-09 22:23:54

i am so very sorry for your loss,words fail me xxx

Haribosmummy Tue 30-Jun-09 22:24:02

I'm sorry. sad

HM x

aristocat Tue 30-Jun-09 22:24:12

sad

so very sorry, words fail me.

bradsmissus Tue 30-Jun-09 22:25:19

So sorry for you and your family.

daftpunk Tue 30-Jun-09 22:25:25

so so sorry.

x x

bozette Tue 30-Jun-09 22:26:03

I am so sorry for you and your family and can only begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I will be thinking of you x

RockinSockBunnies Tue 30-Jun-09 22:26:47

So sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you.

I'm so very sorry sad

treedelivery Tue 30-Jun-09 22:27:46

Rest in Peace baby Niamh Hope Anne.

sad

If you need an ear do talk to us, don't worry about making us cry.

All my sympathy.

So, so sorry - thinking of you and your family.

christiana Tue 30-Jun-09 22:28:21

Message withdrawn

Worzsel Tue 30-Jun-09 22:29:17

You poor love

My heart is breaking for you.

MiniMarmite Tue 30-Jun-09 22:29:30

So sorry.

Sparklytwinkletoes Tue 30-Jun-09 22:29:30

Wishing you strength at this difficult time,

X

liger Tue 30-Jun-09 22:31:09

Woollyjo, you are a mother of two beautiful girls, I am so sorry that Niamh wasn't able to stay with you all.

thinking of all your family

x

Phoenix Tue 30-Jun-09 22:31:32

Oh Woolyjo, i'm so sorry for your loss

Yurtgirl Tue 30-Jun-09 22:33:10

Dont assume it was your fault woollyjo

whatanothernamechange Tue 30-Jun-09 22:37:20

So sorry. We lost a baby at term too. X x x

CharlieandLolasMum Tue 30-Jun-09 22:38:08

How did you have 2 miscarriages earlier this year and carry this baby to term?

Sorry to hear about your loss - I know 2 ladies who lost their babies at birth and although it doesn't get better it does get easier.

MumHadEnough Tue 30-Jun-09 22:38:47

I am so sorry xxx

cheekster Tue 30-Jun-09 22:40:22

Thinking about you woolly x

Meglet Tue 30-Jun-09 22:41:29

Sorry for the heartbreaking loss of Niamh. Wishing you and your family love and strength. x

mistymee Tue 30-Jun-09 22:42:48

I am so very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

SoSorryForYourLoss Tue 30-Jun-09 22:47:11

I have name changed to leave this, in case some people think its rubbish!

Woolyjo I just penned this in memory of Niamh

Heaven sent you to me
Then realised you were
too beautiful for the world to see
There had been a terrible mistake
So they took you back
oh how my heart did break
Nine long months or
so they seemed
I wish I could have them back
All I can do is dream
My baby girl came on time
I thought you were staying,
always mine.
But heaven decided it was too soon
SO back you went
so you could bloom.
I held you for what seemed so long
But it will never be enough now you are gone.
Niamh Hope Anne
You will stay in my heart
I have loved you from the start
Now as over me you will see
You gave such joy to daddy and me

Bleatblurt Tue 30-Jun-09 22:53:17

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter Niamh.

I lost my son at 36 weeks 2.5 years ago, so if you would like to talk I can offer a shoulder. Sometime talking to a stranger can help.

sausagerolemodel Tue 30-Jun-09 22:58:54

Revel in her innocent beauty and the time you had to hold her. For those nine months and a few hours she was yours and the worlds to share, and nothing will ever take that away from you. Mae will keep you strong. My absolutely heartfelt condolences. sad

Cheekycel Tue 30-Jun-09 23:11:37

woolly so sorry for ur loss, can't begin to imagine what u must be going through

So sorry x

ilovesprouts Tue 30-Jun-09 23:19:50

so sorry for your loss sad

So sorry sad

Penthesileia Tue 30-Jun-09 23:21:00

So desperately sorry. Thinking of you. xx

edam Tue 30-Jun-09 23:22:55

woollyjo, I am so very sorry. Niamh Hope Anne - such lovely names.

watfordmummy Tue 30-Jun-09 23:23:06

So sorry, hate to read these threads, delight and cherish Mae sad

browny Tue 30-Jun-09 23:27:13

Oh Woollyjo, my heart goes out to you, I cannot imagine the pain you all must be going through, I'm so sorry that you've lost your little beautiful Niamh. I don't know what else to say, except that I will say a little prayer tonight for you all xx.

angrypixie Tue 30-Jun-09 23:29:41

I can't imagine your pain.
Hold your eldest daughter, and know that you will never forget your younger.

Sending you so much love tonight

angrypixie Tue 30-Jun-09 23:29:42

I can't imagine your pain.
Hold your eldest daughter, and know that you will never forget your younger.

Sending you so much love tonight

Beccabump Tue 30-Jun-09 23:35:20

I am so sorry woolyjo I am really at a loss for words and my heart breaks for you and your family xxx

MsBrandybuck Tue 30-Jun-09 23:41:58

I am so sorry sad

So very sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how you feel, I can't think of anything to say but my thoughts are with you and your family x

chubbymummy Tue 30-Jun-09 23:47:15

so sorry

RedLentil Tue 30-Jun-09 23:48:07

So desperately sorry for you and your family.

MrsFlintoff Tue 30-Jun-09 23:49:51

I am so sorry...sad

HeadFairy Tue 30-Jun-09 23:50:01

How absolutely dreadful for you and your family. I'm so sorry for you all, you are in my prayers and thoughts

pickyvic Tue 30-Jun-09 23:54:02

heartbreaking, so so sorry for you loss. wishing you much love and strength. x

giraffescantdancethetango Wed 01-Jul-09 00:00:49

SO sorry. I really reccomend sands

ConnieComplaint Wed 01-Jul-09 00:02:09

I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your lovely daughter. Her name is so pretty.

Stay strong x

giraffescantdancethetango Wed 01-Jul-09 00:05:02

CharlieandLolasMum - OP suffered her MCs last year so am sure it was just a typo.

lulalullabye Wed 01-Jul-09 00:13:48

So sorry for you losing your Niamh. xxx

cathcat Wed 01-Jul-09 00:22:55

So so sorry. Your daughter will always be in the hearts of you and your family. All best wishes.

PurplePillow Wed 01-Jul-09 00:28:06

So sorry for your loss sad

My heart goes out to you and your family, take strength from Mae and you will never forget Niamh xx

1dilemma Wed 01-Jul-09 00:36:27

SO sorry for you all.
She has a lovely name

Cowwomanmoo Wed 01-Jul-09 00:48:04

That terrible, my deepest sympathy to you and your family.

Danceswithchickens Wed 01-Jul-09 01:00:10

sad so so sorry for your loss

3cutedarlings Wed 01-Jul-09 01:12:52

i am so very sorry for your loss, love to you and you family xxx

JetLi Wed 01-Jul-09 06:49:18

woolyjo - we're shocked and heartbroken for you. So very sorry for your loss. xx

chimchar Wed 01-Jul-09 06:54:10

i'm so so sorry to hear about baby niamh...thinking of you and your family. xx

Buda Wed 01-Jul-09 06:58:41

I am so sorry for you all. Rest in peace little Niamh.

stoppinattwo Wed 01-Jul-09 06:59:04

so sorry for what has happened, it just puts all our other problems and worries in their place...

I dont know what else to say, sometinhg like this completely stops you in your tracks.

Take care and love to you all XXX

So very very sorry for you and your family xx

Kimi Wed 01-Jul-09 07:12:00

sad so sorry for your loss

pindy Wed 01-Jul-09 07:16:41

I am so sorry to hear this.

When we lost our first child - nearly 18 years ago now, the words I remember and still hold close are:

"She was but a bud on earth, destined to bloom in heaven"

Take care of yourselves during this very sad time, thinking of you. Xx

im so, so sorry to hear of your loss woollyjo x x

mumoverseas Wed 01-Jul-09 08:12:10

I'm so sorru woollyjo, there is one more angel now in heaven and she will be watching over you always.
Hugs to you, your DH and your DD xxx

Thandeka Wed 01-Jul-09 08:28:33

I'm so so sorry. Look after yourselves.
xxx

lottiejenkins Wed 01-Jul-09 08:29:23

I am so so sorry for your loss, We have a very special thread for bereaved Mums if you want to come and chat to us!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/749480-Ciaran-39-s-Thread-For-Bereaved-Mammies-Where-It-39?msgid=15 990019

shabster Wed 01-Jul-09 08:39:22

....no death so sad as that of a child. Can I echo Lotties post and say that you will get loving support on our special thread. xxx

cocolepew Wed 01-Jul-09 08:43:05

I'm so sorry.

Maveta Wed 01-Jul-09 08:46:43

I am so sorry, hold each other tight x

Patchybob Wed 01-Jul-09 08:47:26

Woolyjo I posted on our thread but wasn't sure if you would go back onto it or not. I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. So shocked to hear your news xxxxx

How heartbreaking sad. So sorry for you and your family.

christiana Wed 01-Jul-09 09:02:33

Message withdrawn

Misspaella Wed 01-Jul-09 09:21:54

OMG
I am so so sorry Woollyjo and can't even imagine what you are going through. Please take care.
sad

hobbgoblin Wed 01-Jul-09 09:22:13

I've posted on our antenatal thread but then thought you might not want to visit that right now so am posting here too.

I too have thought of you many times since reading your message late last night and as I said in my other post, am deeply sad and sorry for you. It is surely the worst imagineable bereavement and not something I think one can begin to comprehend unless one has experienced it. So, I am sorry that I cannot understand your pain right now but I hope that we can share the burden of it with you by thinking of you and talking to you and helping you any way we can.

I told my DD (9) about Niamh this morning and she is very sad for you too but says what a lovely name your daughter has.

xx

dawntigga Wed 01-Jul-09 09:25:23

I'm so sorry.

dxx

Ledodgy Wed 01-Jul-09 09:30:44

Oh God, I am so, so sorry. Thinking of you all.sad

Doobydoo Wed 01-Jul-09 09:35:19

I am so so sorry woollyjosad
My 1st child[a daughter]died nearly 19 years ago...I hope you have support around you and your family.xx

ActivityApple Wed 01-Jul-09 09:38:21

Woolyjo I'm so very, very sorry.

I have been thinking of you very much - sending you love and healing thoughts.

x

hellsbelles Wed 01-Jul-09 09:44:27

sending you and your family lots of love, strength and positive thoughts.

xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Wed 01-Jul-09 09:44:53

I am so sorry Woolyjo.

If/when you feel able to, please come and visit our bereaved mummies thread here

It is a club we'd rather not be members of, but it helps to talk to people who have been through the same thing.

Wishing you all love.

Jojay Wed 01-Jul-09 09:46:17

So so sorry for your loss sad

Oh My Goodness woolyjo.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I dont really know what to say except that you will cherish your beautiful Niamh Hope Anne forever in your heart.

I am not a religious person in the slightest but I will be saying a prayer for you all tonight. You are all in my thoughts.

Take care
xxx

mamadiva Wed 01-Jul-09 09:50:21

So sorry woolly

The same thing happenned to my Aunt about 15 years ago, it took a long time to 'get over' as some put it but in reality it's just a case of coming to terms with it rather than getting over it.

I hope you have a good support network round you at this awful time. Cherish the time you had with Niamh after her birth and hug Mae tightly you will pull through.

My thoughts are with you and your family today xxx

Niecie Wed 01-Jul-09 10:03:06

How awful. So sorry for your loss.sad

ThingOne Wed 01-Jul-09 10:07:03

I am so sorry, woollyjo.

frasersmummy Wed 01-Jul-09 10:16:27

ooh woolyjo

I am so sorry... my first little boy was stillborn 5 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday

There is nothing I can say/do to help right now. With time it will get easier... the pain never goes away but you do learn to live with it and one day despite the pain in your heart you will be able to smile again.

Hopefully you have lots of support around you in rl.

But like a few others have said we have a bereaved mummies thread and we are there if and when you are ready.

You have so much still to face...

take care

Wheelybug Wed 01-Jul-09 10:24:57

so sorry to hear this - thinking of you and your family and wishing you much strength.

Gillyan Wed 01-Jul-09 10:25:54

Oh god woolyjo, I am so so sorry for you.

It is everyones worse nightmare and I am so sorry that it has to be your reality.

I'm crying my eyes for you.

What a gorgeous name for her.

Thinking of you loads xxxxx

woodlands35 Wed 01-Jul-09 10:27:50

oh wooly, i am so sorry sad
please take good care of yourselves
you have given her a beautiful name .

shootfromthehip Wed 01-Jul-09 10:30:11

Oh no. What a horrible situation. Gutted for you. sad

Casserole Wed 01-Jul-09 11:23:10

No words. I am so very sorry.

May her memory be eternal in your hearts.

x

Belgrano Wed 01-Jul-09 13:52:58

Oh my god Woollyjo you poor brave thing. I am so sorry for your loss and thinking of you and desperately desperately sorry. I really wish there was something I could do or say but know there are a huge number of MNers thinking of you right now. Strength to you.

FruitynNutty Wed 01-Jul-09 13:56:28

sad I don't know what to say, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through but I'm thinking of you
x

weegiemum Wed 01-Jul-09 14:03:49

Woolyjo - so very very sorry to hear about Niamh's death. I have 2 good friends who have lost babies at full term, and all you can do is grieve.

I am so glad to hear you were able to have several hours with her after she was born.

If it's not inappropriate, I would also like to offer you congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter.

Take good care of yourselves and of little Mae. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Owlingate Wed 01-Jul-09 14:10:37

Woolyjo - I was on the July 09 antenatal thread as ephrinedaily and lost my baby girl when I was 17 weeks pregnant.

I cannot begin to understand what you are going through but would like to echo everyone in recommending Sands - they have been a huge support.

I hope you were able to spend some time with little Niamh after her birth and get pictures and footprints, and I'm so very sorry she's not with you now.

hazygirl Wed 01-Jul-09 14:18:22

thinking of you love, im so sorryxx

ilikeyoursleeves Wed 01-Jul-09 14:18:27

I am so so sorry to see your post Woolyjo, my heart goes out to you and your family. I can't imagine what you are all going through just now, you are very much in my thoughts xxx

webwanderer Wed 01-Jul-09 14:21:12

So incredibly sorry for your loss sad

RIP Niamh x

LittleMissNorty Wed 01-Jul-09 14:24:30

sad Thinking of you and your family at such a difficult time x

andiem Wed 01-Jul-09 14:25:52

so so sorry for your loss wollyjo will be thinking of you and your precious girls
axxxxx

Doyouthinktheysaurus Wed 01-Jul-09 14:37:09

sad

So so sorry for your loss Woollyjo. I can't begin to imagine the pain you are going through. I'm just so very sorry for you and your family.

Hulababy Wed 01-Jul-09 14:49:17

I am so sorry that Niamh never made it.

Andie01 Wed 01-Jul-09 14:56:46

So so sorry woollyjo. Thinking of you all at this very sad time x

moodylou Wed 01-Jul-09 15:07:31

Woollyjo i'm so sorry for your loss sad
Thinking of you and your family. xx

woollyjo Wed 01-Jul-09 15:23:55

Thank you for all your kind messages,

We are surviving, it just hits me in waves, I can be talking rationally about what happened one minute and wailing the next.

She was beautiful, we held her for hours, washed her and dressed her, knowing we would only have that time with her, it was like she was just sleeping.

Shropshire SANDS provided cameras and a Moses basket so we could take photos. They also provided a keepsake pack which the midwives did for us with hand and foot prints and a lock of hair. They also fund the grave stone if we go for a hospital arranged burial.

The support from the hospital has been fantastic. I expect my milk will be coming in in the next few days and that will be tough.

We are lucky to have support from friends and family.

herbietea Wed 01-Jul-09 15:38:28

Message withdrawn

Mij Wed 01-Jul-09 15:57:08

Oh Woollyjo, words cannot express how our hearts go out to you right now. I'm glad you've had sensitive support and it sounds like you have a wonderful family and a beautiful little girl in Mae to keep you going, but I know nothing will be able to fill the gap Niamh has left.

xx

QOD Wed 01-Jul-09 16:04:16

I am so sorry for your loss
My neice Georgie died at term 13 yrs ago with a "true knot" in her cord, I feel like I need to tell you that she is still a part of our family, just out of sight for now.
I am so sad for you ((((hugs))))

Gillyan Wed 01-Jul-09 19:44:13

wooly that souns lovely - the time u had at the hospital, glad they were so supportive,

I'm glad you have your family and friends around.

Been thinking of u all day xxx

chegirl Wed 01-Jul-09 19:49:27

I am glad you have support at this terribly sad time woolyjo.

I am so sorry for the loss of your little girl.

Lilyloo Wed 01-Jul-09 19:58:01

I am so sorry sad

iheartdusty Wed 01-Jul-09 20:06:51

my heart goes out to you.
I am so sorry.

Woolyjo, I too am shocked and heartbroken for you.

How is Mae coping with it all, she would've been so excited.

I pray you can find some peace and know that Niamh will always be happy and perfect.

JRocks Wed 01-Jul-09 20:12:24

I'm so, so sorry. What heartbreaking news sad

missworried Wed 01-Jul-09 20:13:42

You sound like lovely parents. I am so sorry.My prayers are with you.

Frasersmum123 Wed 01-Jul-09 20:30:27

What awful news. My heart really goes out to you.

Take care and stay strong.

Quiltedrose Wed 01-Jul-09 20:31:38

Woolyjo only just heard, I can't come up with the words to say how very sorry I am to hear such sad news - it's every mother's worst nightmare and I can only admire the way you've tackled it head on. I don't think I could be so brave. I know that is absolutely no consolation but I've been thinking about you Mr Woolyjo and Niamh and have just shut my eyes as tight as I can to send some positivity your way. I don't think you ever get over it but you can get through it. Wish there was something I could do to help x

Acceber Wed 01-Jul-09 21:11:19

I'm so sad to hear this news. Thinking of you and your family Woolyjo.

I am glad you felt you had good support at the hospital, and SANDS are truly wonderful.
Thinking of you today.

So sorry to read this.

girlandboy Wed 01-Jul-09 21:24:07

So sorry for you.

Saying a little prayer for all four of you.

mrstimlovejoy Wed 01-Jul-09 21:30:47

so sorry for your lose.sleep tight little niamh x

TheFallenMadonna Wed 01-Jul-09 21:42:12

Thinking of you and all your family. Take care.

lankyesme Wed 01-Jul-09 21:46:14

So very sorry.

twoluvlykids Wed 01-Jul-09 21:49:23

So sorry for you and the rest of your family.

madmouse Wed 01-Jul-09 22:21:48

Woollyjo I do not know you, our only link is that I know someone on your antenatal thread. Have nothing useful to say either - but just wanted to respond somehow.

ingles2 Wed 01-Jul-09 22:28:27

Am so very very sorry sad xx

So very sorry for your loss.

Take care.


I am so sorry for your loss woollyjo.
Add one more to your list of people who have cried.

supersalstrawberry Wed 01-Jul-09 22:56:52

sad xx

thelollipoplady Thu 02-Jul-09 00:22:55

So sorry - what a terrible tragedy.

nothing anyone can say, just know there's lots of support here when you need it xxx

scully Thu 02-Jul-09 07:11:52

So sorry for your loss, have no idea what you must be feeling right now sad
I hope you continue to find the support you will need in the coming weeks/months.
Thinking of you and your family.

Don't know what to say
Thinking of you x

sobloodystupid Thu 02-Jul-09 08:47:46

so desperately sorry for you woolyjo and your dp and family. God rest little Niamh.x

DutchOma Thu 02-Jul-09 09:00:21

Praying for you and your family in your loss

Notquitegrownup Thu 02-Jul-09 09:55:17

Woollyjo, I am so sorry to hear of your heartbreaking loss. The hospital staff sound lovely.

A dear friend lost a baby in a similar way. She and her husband chose a beautiful candle to keep on the mantlepiece at home, and used to light it in the evenings, to see it shine in their home, as a symbol of their love for their little one. Their daughter used to light the candle and say goodnight to her little sister sometimes. My friend found that a great comfort, so I thought I would mention it.

Thoughts and prayers with you and your family at this very sad time.

ihavenosecrets Thu 02-Jul-09 10:13:20

So sorry.

CaptainDippy Thu 02-Jul-09 10:34:39

So sad for your loss. Thoughts and Prayers. xx

shabster Thu 02-Jul-09 10:43:34

I am going to ask the most stupid question ever - how are you today? Have been holding you in my thoughts since you posted....xxx

anniemac Thu 02-Jul-09 11:14:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sandcastles Thu 02-Jul-09 11:54:42

So sorry for your loss!

BonzoDoodah Thu 02-Jul-09 12:28:18

Oh woolyjo how utterly sad. I'm sitting at my desk at work crying for you.
Such terrible news - I am so sad for your loss - I can't say much more than that we're all thinking of you and your family and hope you can feel the love we are sending you.

MissM Thu 02-Jul-09 13:50:14

I am so sorry. You are very brave for posting. I wish you lots of strength. I am sorry this is such a useless message xx

Rolf Thu 02-Jul-09 20:08:35

I'm so sorry for your loss.

feedthegoat Thu 02-Jul-09 20:15:41

So sorry for your loss.x

wifeofdoom Thu 02-Jul-09 20:22:49

So so sorry for you and your family. Take care xx

So sorry to read this sad

Can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.

Sending love to you tonight xxx

elkiedee Thu 02-Jul-09 23:31:30

Very sorry to hear of your loss

Gillyan Fri 03-Jul-09 08:37:22

Hey woolyjo just a quick note to say I am still thinking of you, both Dp and I have been talking about you and Niamh. xxxx

Thinking of you and your family at the loss of your beautiful angel Niamh sad

Mrsmope Sun 05-Jul-09 11:24:03

So sorry to hear of you and your families tragic loss. Can't imagine what you are going through but my thoughts are with you.

christiana Sun 05-Jul-09 13:52:56

Message withdrawn

BonzoDoodah Sun 05-Jul-09 23:37:17

My husband cried his eyes out when he read your story. So, so sad still. We hope you are coping and have lots of support.

Dysgu Sun 05-Jul-09 23:52:16

I am crying for you too.

So sad to read that your little girl was born asleep.

Our thoughts are with you all at this time.

Woolyjo, just posting to say how sorry I am to hear about little Niamh. Such a lovely name, and so obviously loved. I hope you have lots of support.

Thinking of all of you, especially Mae x

cathcat Mon 06-Jul-09 00:02:58

Also still thinking of you. Hope you are bearing up as best as possible.

Lifesabitch Mon 06-Jul-09 00:17:51

Thinking of you x

MiniMarmite Mon 06-Jul-09 13:17:23

Just a note to say, still thinking of you x

Take care

woollyjo Mon 06-Jul-09 21:39:18

Hi All,

Thanks for all the messages.

Registered Niamh's stillbirth (I hate that word) today and went to look at the baby graves at the cemetery to try and decide what we will do. I wasn't having a good day anyway so this didn't help much.

Struggling to speak coherently today - feel like I am in a fog. I expect this is normal. Family, friends, the midwives and yourselves continue to be a great support.

Thank you

Lilyloo Mon 06-Jul-09 21:52:35

Cannot begin to imagine how you are getting through this.
Your family remain in my thoughts and prayers.

McDreamy Mon 06-Jul-09 22:00:35

So sorry for your loss, so sad! sad What a beautiful name xx

christiana Tue 07-Jul-09 11:20:02

Message withdrawn

JetLi Tue 07-Jul-09 21:26:13

You're always in our thoughts and prayers woolyjo.

BonzoDoodah Thu 09-Jul-09 15:25:44

Dear Woollyjo what a beautiful picture of your lovely sweet girl. She looks so peaceful. I hope the funeral helps and that you are coping. You stay in our thoughts.

treedelivery Thu 09-Jul-09 21:02:33

Woolyjo - thank you for the picture, what a beautiful resting baby girl, Niamh - born sleeping.

Lilyloo Thu 09-Jul-09 21:46:13

Niamh is absolutely beautiful Wooly

foreverchanges Thu 09-Jul-09 22:04:39

so sorry for your loss ,youre in my thoughts and prayers ,i ll never forget this thread

foreverchanges Thu 09-Jul-09 22:06:16

never forget this thread and niamh x

Doobydoo Thu 09-Jul-09 22:12:24

Still thinking of you all.It is a long road and you need to take the time...don't try to speed things up...go with the flow and be good to yourselves.x

weddingcake Thu 09-Jul-09 22:26:12

I am another one who may not know you but who cannot stop thinking about and praying for you and your family.

You are truly one amazing lady and I'm sure that there are so many of us who are drawing strength from your courage in such a devastating situation so thankyou.

So pleased you have fantastic support around you and hope you know that in the months and years to come there will always be people here on mumsnet to support you.

Niamh is utterly beautiful - thankyou for sharing her with us and letting her touch our lives too.

Take Care x

Gillyan Fri 10-Jul-09 08:23:16

Hi woolyjo the picture you posted of gorgeous Niamh was beautiful, I'm so glad you'll have that. Still thinking of you often and hoping you're getting through this, I hope the funeral goes the way you want it xxx

ninedragons Fri 10-Jul-09 08:29:30

The photo has made my eyes prick with tears; Niamh is utterly beautiful.

I am so, so sorry.

changenameruk Sun 02-Aug-09 13:17:24

a beautiful picture. your story has touched me deeply. xx

cathcat Mon 03-Aug-09 02:32:35

Still thinking of you and all your family. x

woollyjo Mon 01-Jul-13 12:24:57

I have just read through this thread again as yesterday would have been Niamh's 4th birthday and I am still touched by all the support I found here and later on the bereavement threads.

We do not know why Niamh was stillborn and were counselled against a post mortem as it was unlikely to show anything conclusive. I later learnt that the reason stillbirth rates are still largely the same as they were 20 years ago is, in part, due to lack of post mortems. Another thing to feel guilty about ...

But test on me and the placenta showed no indication of what happened (my op suggested the cord was a factor but I later learnt it wasn't tight enough to have caused a fatality) and I didn't fit into any of the 'at risk' groups.

11 months later I gave birth to a healthy third daughter after an uncomplicated but worrying pregnancy and induced delivery at 36 weeks as a precaution. I am so grateful for the two beautiful girls I have.

I realise this is a self indulgent post, but I just wanted to say that we did come through probably because of the support I got on the boards here as much as anything else.

Thank you

Niamh, always loved, forever missed, never forgotten.

BackforGood Mon 01-Jul-13 12:41:04

It's not self indulgent at all. It's lovely of you to come back and update us. smile

LilacBreastedRoller Mon 01-Jul-13 12:43:37

Woollyjo, I'm so sorry you didn't get to spend longer with Niamh. I lost my son in very similar circumstances just over a year ago, and am now anxiously awaiting his brother. We will likewise never know what happened. We did have a post mortem, but it brought months of pain with extended testing and mistakes (despite being done by an excellent team) and we still got no answers in the end after immense pain. So please don't feel guilty about that at all, you did what was right for you and your daughter at the time. It's so difficult not to keep turning over possible causes for regret, but I think we just have to struggle to find peace with the fact that we can only ever act on the knowledge and feelings we have in the moment.

I will be thinking of Niamh and all of you on her birthday flowers.

YoniMatopoeia Mon 01-Jul-13 12:46:44

Congratulations on your DD3.

I remember this thread. Don't feel guilty about the PM. You weren't to know.

And it is always nice to have an update.

motherinferior Mon 01-Jul-13 12:49:25

Thank you for the update. I am so pleased that you have your DD3, while I realise that in no way makes up for the loss of your other daughter.

I remember your Niamh. Thank you for updating.

I am so sorry for your loss thanks

buzzgirly Mon 01-Jul-13 16:26:02

I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you x

tungthai Mon 01-Jul-13 16:38:37

I'm so sorry.

Borntobeamum Mon 01-Jul-13 20:42:24

Thank you for the update.
I'm sure Niamh is looking over you and her 2 sisters
Much l

Borntobeamum Mon 01-Jul-13 20:42:35

Much l

Borntobeamum Mon 01-Jul-13 20:42:56

Darn it!
Much love to you all x x

I'm so sorry for your loss, thanks for the update, I'm kinda where you have been
I lost my ds shortly after he was born
And I am now pg with his brother
I do have a dd who is six
So your update really gives me hope, we will have better days to come

Can I ask have you found it easier to cope as time has gone on ?

You know what struck me about this thread, is the way you worded the title

That YOU have never made so many people cry, I felt Like that too, like I. Had let everyone down

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Awks Mon 01-Jul-13 21:02:31

I am so sorry. What a sockk for you all. Much love to you xxxx

smellsofsick Mon 01-Jul-13 21:09:40

Wow Woolly. What a lovely update. Much love to your family. We're thinking of you, Mae, DC3 and little Niamh.

woollyjo Tue 02-Jul-13 13:32:16

LilacBreastedRoller & whiteandyellowiris so sorry to hear that you have been through this too. We will never 'get over' or 'move on' (why would I want to move on from my child?) but you will get used to it. Someone described the grief as a ball, it doesn't get smaller or go away but we grow round it to the point that it doesn't take up your every waking thought.

Congratulations on your pregnancies, we wept tears of relief when DD3 arrived healthy, all the tests and scans gave no reassurance at all, we were waiting for the moment we could hold her in our arms and KNOW she was OK.

Be prepared that your newborns/hormones may bring back unexpected memories, I definately had flashbacks to the days after Niamh's birth in the weeks after DD3 was born. It was a little like dealing with it all afresh again but as DD3 grew we moved away from that.

It also helped that DD3 was distinctly different from Niamh in appearence.

A friend (who had lost her baby at 6 months) sent me a book written by a bereavement mid-wife which had useful bits in it, I'll fish it out when I get home and post the title.

Above all else talking about it helps, it reinforces her existance as so few people met her and also helps our DD1 (then 2.5 now 6.5) understand that I will always be sad about Niamh but I can still be happy about other things.

You are both braver and stronger than you realise xx

woollyjo Tue 02-Jul-13 13:37:11

Hello to Lunatic & Nothern hello again good to 'hear' from you both, I hope all is well, I'm a perenial lurker these days, shifting silently in and out of threads!

Babyh200 Tue 02-Jul-13 21:31:30

Woolly,

I'm so sorry to read about Niamh. Your words about the ball of grief are so true. My beautiful chubby boy was 8lb 11oz when he was stillborn last July and we would have been celebrating his 1st birthday on Thursday. I found out I was expecting again at the beginning of March (due in October) and although it's a complete rollercoaster I remind myself every day how incredibly lucky I am to have another chance. In the months approaching Christmas it was hell on earth and my heart goes out to all those still waiting.

Thank you for the insight into what the future might hold emotionally if this little one makes it......every day is a struggle and at the moment October seems like years away. I try not to dwell on the unfairness of it all but sometimes you cant help it! I also need to remind myself not to resent people who don't remember it's his 1st birthday this week.

Thinking of Niamh on her 4th birthday xxxxx

Lilac and White....thinking of both your boys too xxxx

Sonnet Tue 02-Jul-13 21:39:38

Thank you for an update! Niamh is always with you x

woollyjo, thanks for your reply

I just ave to take each day as it comes, I agree I wont relax until ds2 is here, even then I might not relax properly
for a while

but your story does give me hope, so thanks for posting

thanks babyh too x

evelynj Tue 02-Jul-13 21:53:09

My heart goes out to all you ladies who have lost a child, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing & keep talking about your children x

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

woollyjo Wed 03-Jul-13 07:08:19

You are right Lunatic and I have to be there as dd3 will start the nursery class the same day, not sure how it will be seeing the reception class line up knowing Niamh should have been with them. Will book the day off work just incase I end up a soggy mess.

Glad to hear the Pnd has abated, they watched me like hawks with their mood chart after our little star was born.

Xx

LilacBreastedRoller Wed 03-Jul-13 13:28:50

woollyjo, thank you so much for your kind words. It means such a lot from someone who has been there, much as I wish none of us had had to walk this path. I will keep your words close to my heart as we await this little one. Much love to you, whiteandyellow, babyh and everyone else who knows this pain.

Babyh200 Fri 05-Jul-13 17:36:57

Lilac,
thinking of you, when are you due? Its such a long road this time last year I was still in hospital. I miss my beautiful boy every day......I remember picturing how gorgeous the July weather would be and how I would proudly walk my new baby in the pushchair....instead he got snatched away. How cruel life can be, funny it ended up raining none stop and look at the weather today just like I pictured it tis time last year......if only!!
Thinking of you xxxxxx

GinGuzzler Fri 05-Jul-13 17:43:27

Oh dear Lord, I am so sorry your going through this. Bless you and your family. I send my sincere condolences to you and your H/DP xxxxx

Sleepathon Tue 03-Sep-13 20:44:25

Wooly what is the book your friend recommended to you please?

You ladies are so brave and I am so pleased that you will all have your rainbow babies.

Still early days for me I hope I don't have to wait too long for my rainbow baby.

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