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Mumsnet Discussions: Bereavement : signs from the afterlife or imagination? (16 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By littlestmummystop on Mon 20-Oct-08 14:31:07
My lovely dad died two weeks ago. I really want to believe in an afterlife, but sometimes just think it's wishful thinking. So far though these things have happened:

1) family arguing about whether to give dad's collection to RSPB ( he mentioned this once but we thought he was joking), then suddenly a beautiful pheasant landed in our garden- never seen before!
2) looking for my dad's will, I 'asked' him for inspiration of where he put it and found a blank will almost immediately in piles of papers.
3)I went to email my tribute to the humanist and all lights went out and sudden power cut, only lasted for a few seconds though.
4)I asked my brother if he had seen any signs of dad on phone and then he suddenly heard an inexplicable 'moving' noise in house.

Is this because we are grieving or is this really my dad??? I wish I could believe 100% it is.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Hodgins on Mon 20-Oct-08 14:37:34
I think you should follow your instinct. Nobody can ever know for sure but if these things comfort you then that's all that matters.

I am so sorry for your loss, (((())))
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie on Mon 20-Oct-08 14:39:08
sorry for your lose.
i believe in it.im not religious though.and i think that anything that brings comfort can only be good.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By TheArmadillo on Mon 20-Oct-08 14:41:53
IF it brings you some comfort then carry on believing in it.

That's all that is important.

And no one knows 100% for certain. Some people believe and others don't.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By PonderingThoughts on Mon 20-Oct-08 14:44:57
Well, I believe that it very well could be! Guess it's personal though. I agree with Hodgins saying go with your instinct, we'll never know 100%!

This weekend, my uncle passed away. At 1:30am our doorbell (that hasn't worked for 3 months!) rang. MY DH jumped out of bed and looked out the window but no-one there. Then the next day we learned that was the time my uncle passed away.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By littlestmummystop on Mon 20-Oct-08 14:55:17
Thanks for your thoughts. Instinctively I guess I think it is him.
Sorry to hear about your uncle PT.
Would love to hear of other people's experiences.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By JamesAndTheGiantBanana on Mon 20-Oct-08 14:57:56
Things like this can and do happen, I'd love to tell you something that happened to a family member after her dh died suddenly with no chance of a goodbye, but unfortunately the story is so distinctive it would come up immediately on google and she'd "find" me on MN iyswim. (cat me if you like) It was very sweet though and she did take it as a sign of his love from beyond.

I think if you can draw comfort from little coincidences etc then that's all that matters - you'll never get a definitive answer on whether it's "real" or not. The main thing is is not to read too much into anything negative such as bad dreams about your dad, as they do tend to happen afterwards and they mean absolutely nothing. So sorry about your loss. x
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By rachelp73 on Mon 20-Oct-08 15:07:09
My mum's dad died when she was pregnant with me and she was obviously upset that he'd never get to meet me. Then when I was a couple of weeks old, she was just carrying me upstairs to bed as usual, and when she glanced down at me, she saw her dad's face kind of superimposed over mine - just for a second. She hadn't been thinking of him prior to that point. So I think there's something in too. In fact, a couple of little things have happened to me that have made me switch from being a sceptic about guardian angel type of spirits, and absolutely believing in them, so I wonder whether my granddad is MY guardian angel? It's a nice thought.

I don't think it's wishful thinking. I think they're all signs from your dad that yes, he has only left the physical word, but spiritually he will be around you forever. smile
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By othersideofthefence on Mon 20-Oct-08 19:49:24
I think we look for signs (but part of me wants to believe that theu are really there)
I do like this poem tho'

The Reassurance
By Thom Gunn

About ten days or so
After we saw you dead
You came back in a dream.
I'm all right now you said.

And it was you, although
You were fleshed out again:
You hugged us all round then,
And gave your welcoming beam.

How like you to be kind,
Seeking to reassure.
And, yes, how like my mind
To make itself secure.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By BernieBear on Mon 20-Oct-08 20:31:41
beautiful poem otherside
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By purpleduck on Mon 20-Oct-08 21:06:50
After my dad died the following things happened:
- I was falling asleep one night, and I heard him say my name
- My sister got up in the night to go to the toilet, and she saw a ball of light reflected in between 2 mirrors

A few months later, I had come to England (he loved it here, and loved steak and kidney pie -ugh!!)
Anyways, I was squatting down looking in the cupboard for something to eat, and I heard his voice say "How about some steak and kidney pie?" I literally fell on my bum!

So, yes, I do think stuff happens.

Sorry for your loss BTW
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By lauraloola on Mon 20-Oct-08 21:12:29
Im sorry about your Dad x

I never believed in it but I totally do now. My parents go to a Spiritulist Church and have seen several different mediums over the years. My Dad is very anti anything like this but went along to see what it was all about. Some of the messaged they have had have been amazing and so accurate.

I totally believe that the deceased are still very much with us and watch over us and still 'interact' to a certain degree. A lot of people dont believe it.

I do believe that it is your Dad's way of telling you that hes ok and still with you x
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Minniethemoocher on Mon 20-Oct-08 21:18:59
So sorry for you loss. My Dad died last year, and try as I might, I have never had ANY signs of him from the after life, which I find very sad, so how lovely that you have experienced some kind of connection.

I so want to believe that he is still with us but I haven't had any signs at all, not one...sad
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By feelingbitbetter on Mon 20-Oct-08 21:24:59
It really doesn't matter coz nobody knows. What is important is that it is a comfort for you. Anything that helps you have a little smile to yourself and think 'yep, that's my Dad' is wonderful.
I do not believe in an 'afterlife' but I strongly believe that loved ones NEVER leave us. They remain with us in the love we still have and the life they helped us to lead.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Minniethemoocher on Tue 21-Oct-08 08:10:51
I talk about my Dad a lot, every day, and that is my way of keeping him alive. Sometimes it is like he is still with us, but invisible, especially when we sit down to Sunday lunch, rituals like that.....
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By lottiejenkins on Tue 21-Oct-08 21:30:02
A very close friend of mine died last year,,, i spent the night on my mums sofa as i was too upset to be at home on my own. in the morning i was sleeping facing the back of the sofa and felt someone tap me on the shoulder when i turned over there was no one there,,, then the morning after the funeral when i checked my dialled numbers on my phone i found that the last number dialled was my friends mobile but i hadnt dialled it!


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