Reading for My Brothers Funeral

(35 Posts)
bucksmum Tue 19-Feb-08 16:49:10

My lovely brother died on Sunday and I am going to read a poem at the funeral on Monday does anyone have any sugestions of readings that woudl suit a younger persons service, he was only 34 he had been ill for 9 years but still a shock when it happens

WendyWeber Tue 19-Feb-08 16:51:58

Does it have to be a poem, bucksmum? There are some beautiful ones (I will try to find some for you) but maybe you could write a personal tribute to your lovely brother?

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss sad - hope you are coping OK.

Sunshinemummy Tue 19-Feb-08 16:52:00

Not sure if this is kind of what you're thinking of but I think it's quite uplifting for a poem about bereavement.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.

Sorry for your loss sad

WendyWeber Tue 19-Feb-08 16:57:36

Any of these would be good I think? They all encourage looking forward, but also remembering with love.

Life Goes On

If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower
Nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I am gone
Speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves
That I have known

Weep if you must
Parting is hell
But life goes on
So .... sing as well

Joyce Grenfell
1910-1979

Indian Prayer

When I am dead
Cry for me a little
Think of me sometimes
But not too much.
Think of me now and again
As I was in life
At some moments it's pleasant to recall
But not for long.
Leave me in peace
And I shall leave you in peace
And while you live
Let your thoughts be with the living.

Traditional

If I should go tomorrow
It would never be goodbye,
For I have left my heart with you,
So don't you ever cry.
The love that's deep within me,
Shall reach you from the stars,
You'll feel it from the heavens,
And it will heal the scars.


He is Gone (Remember Me)

You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your
back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes,
love and go on.
David Harkins


I am standing on the sea shore,
A ship sails in the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her
Till at last she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says:
"She is gone."

Gone! Where?
Gone from my sight - that is all.
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her
And just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me,
not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
"She is gone",
There are others who are watching her coming, and other voices take up a glad shout:
"There she comes"
- and that is dying. An horizon and just the limit of our sight.
Lift us up, Oh Lord, that we may see further.
Bishop Brent
1862 - 1926

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land:
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti
1830-1894

lottiejenkins Tue 19-Feb-08 16:58:44

Too Soon by Mary Yarnall
**********************
THIS WAS A LIFE
THAT HAD HARDLY BEGUN
NO TIME TO FIND
YOUR PLACE IN THE SUN
NO TIME TO DO
ALL YOU COULD HAVE DONE
BUT WE LOVED YOU ENOUGH FOR LIFETIME

**
NO TIME TO ENJOY
THE WORLD AND ITS WEALTH
NO TIME TO TAKE LIFE
DOWN OFF THE SHELF
NO TIME TO SING
THE SONG OF YOURSELF
THOUGH YOU HAD ENOUGH LOVE FOR A LIFETIME

**
THOSE WHO LIVE LONG
ENDURE SADNESS AND TEARS
BUT YOULL NEVER SUFFER
THE SORROWING YEARS
NO BETRAYL, NO ANGER
NO HATRED NO FEARS
JUST LOVE - ONLY LOVE - IN YOUR LIFETIME.

I thought this poem might be suitable?

bucksmum Tue 19-Feb-08 16:59:32

It doesn't have to be a poem but I don't think i will be able to hold it together to read a personal tribute, just a nice peom or passage. There will be loads of people there he was a great persson until he was so ill

lottiejenkins Tue 19-Feb-08 17:00:27

Wendy........I am one of JG's biggest fans and am having that poem of hers read at my funeral. We had the CR one at my DH's and my uncles funeral too.

WendyWeber Tue 19-Feb-08 17:02:03

We had the JG at my dad's funeral, lottie. I love the sentiment (I am a great fan of hers too)

WendyWeber Tue 19-Feb-08 17:03:06

bucksmum, I know I would never be able to read a single word at the funeral of someone important to me, I think you are very brave to do this.

XXX

filthymindedvixen Tue 19-Feb-08 17:12:13

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Did he have any favourite musicians? Lyrics can sometimes be very appropriate, if you can't find the 'right' poem.

sad for you bucksmum...I love the Joyce Grenfell poem btw.
There is a good thread about losing a sibling which I'll link you to if you're interested - maybe not to look at right now, but in a while. Thinking of you.

Kimi Tue 19-Feb-08 17:14:48

So sorry for your loss, this is nice.


When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me

I want no rites in a gloom filled room

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not for long

And not with your head bowed low

Remember the love that once we shared

Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take

And each must go alone.

It's all part of the master plan

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart

Go the friends we know.

Laugh at all the things we used to do

Miss me, but let me go.

LittleWonder Tue 19-Feb-08 17:17:00

I am so sorry for your loss - I just lost my beloved brother - it was sudden and it is such a terrible thing. A friend sent me the poem below, I really like it. The site is good for poems generally.


THIS IS THE MOST VISITED PAGE ON WWW.POETICEXPRESSIONS.CO.UK PLEASE 'TELL A FRIEND', MENTION THE SITE IN YOUR WORK, OR SEND A DONATION TO MARIE CURIE. THANKS and TAKE CARE.

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!


Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral


'The King of Terrors', a sermon on death delivered in St Paul's Cathedral on Whitsunday 1910, while the body of King Edward VII was lying in state at Westminster:

published in Facts of the Faith, 1919



THIS IS THE MOST VISITED PAGE ON WWW.POETICEXPRESSIONS.CO.UK PLEASE 'TELL A FRIEND', MENTION THE SITE IN YOUR WORK, OR SEND A DONATION TO MARIE CURIE. THANKS and TAKE CARE.

PLEASE DO NOT FORGET MARIE CURIE http://www.mariecurie.org.uk/donate/


'Death is nothing at all' by Canon Henry Scott-Holland is the most visited reading on www.poeticexpressions.co.uk

Please can you remember to pass the name of this site on, electronically, by the printed word or by the 'Tell a Friend' button below,

so that others can also enjoy. Thanks in advance.

sorry too for your loss littlewonder

Teuch Tue 19-Feb-08 17:18:04

Sorry for your loss. We had this on the back of my great Grandad's order of service;

Death is nothing at all

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you,
whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow,
laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Pray smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort,
without the trace of a shadow in it.
Life means all that it ever meant,
it is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity,
why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you
somewhere very near
just around the corner.
All is well

Teuch Tue 19-Feb-08 17:19:00

x-posts

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

This is an Irish blessing - was read at my uncle's funeral - very touching I think...

bucksmum Tue 19-Feb-08 18:33:34

Thank you I;m hoping to hold it together to get through the reading. He was really special just want to do the occasion justice. I will have DH in the background incase I can't do it. My sister in law is going to speak as well which I think is really brave.

"And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on this earth."

Good luck, BM. So very sorry for your brother's death. I'll be thinking of you ...

Califrau Tue 19-Feb-08 20:32:07

My friend had been living abroad when his mum died. He had been writing to her all the way through her illness. At the funeral he stood up and said he was going to read his last letter to her and at that we could listen if we wanted to. It was wonderful, heartbreaking but wonderful. I am sorry about your brother Bucksmum.

Hassled Tue 19-Feb-08 20:34:59

I'm so sorry for your loss - how awful.

The Christine Rossetti poem - Remember Me - (mentioned lower down) - gave me a lot of comfort when my mother died, and more practically is quite short so if you start struggling it will be over soon.

Tommy Tue 19-Feb-08 20:40:35

so sorry to hear this. There is a bible passage which begins something like "The good man who dies before his time...." which we had at my Godfather's funeral. I can't find it online but could have another look later if you thought that may be appropriate

talktothemoths Tue 19-Feb-08 20:56:55

How long does a man live after all?
A thousand days or only one?
One week or a few centuries?
How long does a man spend living or dying
and what do we mean when we say gone forever?

Adrift in such preoccupations, we seek clarification.
We can go to the philosophers
but they will weary of our questions.
We can go to the priests and rabbis
but they night be busy with administrations.

So, how long does a man live after all?
And how much does he live while he lives?
We fret and ask so many questions -
then when it comes to us
the answer is so simple after all.

A man lives for as long as we carry him inside us,
for as long as we carry the harvest of his dreams,
for as long as we ourselves live,
holding memories in common, a man lives.

His lover will carry his man's scent, his touch:
his children will carry the weight of his love.
One friend will carry his arguements,
another will hum his favourite tunes,
another will still share his terrors.

And the days will pass with baffled faces,
then the weeks, then the months,
then there will be a day when no question is asked,
and the knots of grief will loosen in the stomach
and the puffed faces will calm.
And on that day he will not have ceased
but will have ceased to be separated by death.

How long does a man live after all?
A man lives so may different lengths of time

So sorry for your loss.

talktothemoths Tue 19-Feb-08 20:57:37

Sorry, should have said, that one is by Brian Patten

pushki Tue 19-Feb-08 21:04:39

Bucksmum - I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. I am in tears reading these wonderful poems and contributions - my only brother died 4 years ago aged 40 - and I wish that I had had the strength to read something at his funeral. You have some beautiful ones to choose from here - that last one talktothemoths posted is lovely.

My thoughts are with you and your family xx

bucksmum Wed 20-Feb-08 22:03:00

Thanks for all the sugestions a friend has just sent me this that I think I will read if I can although everytime I read it at the moment I keep crying!

God looked around his garden
And found an empty place;
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your tired face.
He put his arms around you
And lifted you to rest;
God's garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering,
He knew you were in pain,
He knew that you would never
Get well on earth again.
He saw the roads were getting rough
And the hills were hard to climb;
So he closed your weary eyelids
And whispered "peace be thine."
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day god called you home.

good luck,really hope it all goes well - we'll be thinking of you...it's a lovely thing you're doing...

SalVolatile Fri 22-Feb-08 21:03:10

Bucksmum - hope I'm not too late - this was read at a funeral I attended last week and I thought it was wonderful:

A man is a success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much,
who has gained the respect of intelligent men, and the love of children,
who has filled his niche and accomplished his task,
who leaves the world better than he found it,
who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.

His memory is a benediction"

bucksmum,thinking of you today sad

pushki Mon 25-Feb-08 16:20:12

Bucksmum - thinking of you also today, hope it goes well and you find the strength for the reading. x

bucksmum Wed 27-Feb-08 21:03:06

Thank you the service went really well over 200 people were there, the music was perfect and I just about held it together for the service. To be honest I am finding it more difficult now, probably because I have no jobs to do! I'm fine when with other people went back to work today and that was ok. Just find the times when I'm on my own the worst

well done bucksmum...you were brave. hugs to you

pushki Thu 28-Feb-08 14:49:21

Bucksmum - glad the service went well. Completely understand about it feeling worse now - the hardest thing for me when my brother died was the 'getting back to normal' stuff when inside I was in bits. Look after yourself, hope you have lots of people around you who can talk to and cry when you need to. I'm not going to say it gets easier - because it doesn't really - it just gets different over time. lots of love x

cyteen Sat 29-Mar-08 16:47:34

Hiya bucksmum,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss, and how proud you should be of yourself for doing what you did. I spoke at my brother's funeral last year and it really helped me to know that I had done my best for him. Not just on the day, but in all the hideous days afterwards. It was the last thing I could do as a loving sister, and when things are particularly bad it is something I cling onto.

I really hope you are being kind to yourself now and that people are still there for you. Like pushki, I won't say things will get better, because they don't. But I do believe that eventually we will all feel the hurt less sharply.

Wishing you warmth until that day comes xx

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now