life after loss

[Katherine]

Hi Everyone. Thanks mumsnet for introducing this topic. And thanks to everyone for your kind words and support after my loss last week. I'm doing OK. I've bought a witch hazel tree and will be planting it for the baby this morning (getting quite a shrubery out there ). All these things help a bit. I'm so glad they let me go through it all naturally rather than a D&C. I'm still bleeding but no longer feel like I've been kicked by a horse so things are obviously healing and I'm doing OK emotionally too. We are going to give it a few months before trying again to give me the chance to get fit again and because I know I am going to be so scared next time that I don't want to be a wreck over christmas. Anyway thank-you all. Just wanted to get this topic of the ground.

[Ghosty]

Well done Katherine ... you are being very brave ... I hope it all works out for you. Love GXX

[GRMUM]

Wishing you all the luck in the world once you feel the time is right. xxx

[Marina]

Hello Katherine, glad to hear you are feeling better physically. Thought I'd join you in thanking Mumsnet for setting up this subject - sort of a "safe house" where sadness can be expressed without spooking people who prefer not to read it.
I have moments when I dread Christmas so much I almost break down - in public, even, which I find so embarrassing. Church has been a support to us but I can't contemplate any of the Christmas services as I know I will make an exhibition of myself.
Hope your little tree roots well, Katherine, and take care.

[lou33]

What a lovely idea Katherine, my thoughts are with you.

[Melly]

Hi Katherine, glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better, and I really hope that things turn out well for you when you feel ready to try again. I think you are very wise to give yourself a break until after Christmas.
Take care of yourself, Love Melly xx

[Clarinet60]

So sorry to hear about your baby, Katherine. Glad you are starting to feel better. The tree will be lovely.

[Wills]

Katherine - I think you're being incredibly brave. Its taken me 10 months to pluck up courage to try again.

My thoughts are with you. Good luck!

[Katherine]

Wills, Thank-you for your kind thoughts. Are you trying again now? Its so hard isn't it. Its not so much that I'm being brave but just that I know from expereince that no matter how long I wait it will be terrifying when I get pg again so I'd rather get it over with. How I wish I could just discover I'm 4mths pg or something like that. Good luck with the trying (thats the fun bit ) and I'll keep everything crossed for you.

[Katherine]

Never straight forward is it. Popped in to see the MW this morning as I had something poking out of my vagina. Turned out to be a huge blood clot and I've got an infection too. So much for the relief at not having a D&C. Now I've got to go back in again to have one. Feeling very fed up. Its hard enough staying positive without all these complications but hopefully it will all be sorted out now at least. Don't want anything jeapodising next time

[WideWebWitch]

Oh Katherine, how awful, sorry to hear this.

[karenanne]

just found this forum and must say its good that there is a place for people to talk about this.i lost a baby very early on in 1999 and even now it still hurts to think about,i fell pregnant(not planned)within a month and with the doc telling me i had to leave it at least 2 months as well as the miscarriage it just made me panic!i went into complete denial even though i knew iwas def pregnant and didnt visit my doctor till i was about 10/11 weeks into my preganancy.being a natural worrier it didnt stop there and i didnt actually believe i was having a baby till i got my contractions..the fact i had a few probs through pregnancy didnt help.
im lucky enough now to have a beautiful 2 and a half daughter but due to my miscarriage and my pregnancy problems my dp and i have decided shes our lot.
my advice is talk as much as you can about it and take your time .when you do get pregant it is going to be very scary for a while but it does work out and you will have the beautiful child you wish for.

good luck

[Mooma]

Hope all goes well for the op Katherine and that you'll soon feel better both physically and emotionally.

[Melly]

You poor thing Katherine, hope you've got plenty of help at home etc. Take care of yourself, thinking of you.
Melly xx

[Marina]

Rotten luck, Katherine, hope the op goes OK and that you feel better soon.

[VJR]

Katherine, I hope you are feeling better soon. Having a D&C made it all easier for me as then I new it was all over. I couldn't handle the thought of bleeding more and at least once you come out of hospital your hormones start to level out and you feel you can face the world again.

It was about 6 months before I got pregnant again and yes I did worry but I now have a 4 month old baby boy who is all the more special. Try and keep your spirits up and my thoughts are with you. XX

[Katherine]

Thanks everyone. Back home again now. They didn't do a D&C in the end. But they removed a clot the size of my first which was fowl. I'm on antibiotics in case of infection but once the clot went everything seemed to level out again so they decided to leave me to it. I had the most lovely sonogropher this time, who said all the right things and was so kind and considerate. Why can't they all be like that. Anyway heres to moving on now...

[SoupDragon]

Thinking of you Katherine and wishing you every bit of luck I can for the future.

[Demented]

Katherine, have been off-line for a couple of weeks and have just read your news. Thinking of you and your family at this time. Hugs.

[Scuba]

Katherine sorry to hear what's happened hugs to you.

[susanmt]

Katherine - have been on hols and missed your messages about this. Just wanted to say I was thinking of you and hopt things will look more positive soon, love Susan xxxx

[Janus]

Katherine, missed your posting too and hope that things are a little easier and you are moving in the right direction. So sorry.