My friend's husband has died suddenly.....

[theheadgirl]

it was her second mariage, they were SO happy together. I just feel that life is unfair, she had a crap time in her first marriage and virtually brought up her two lovely children alone. And now this happens. Whats going on???
I know I can't make things better for her, but I'd appreciate any MN's thoughts on not making things worse IYKWIM. What to say, what to do......
Its just bloody unfair

[McDreamy]

Just be there! Maybe make a couple of meals for her to shove in her freezer, cakes for the children - when I don't know what to do for people I cook!! So sorry for your friend and for you

[Trinityrhino]

exactly this haapened to my MIL 2 years ago
All you can do is be there. do you know what she needs to do, like do you know her routine so you could do it instead of her. take her lead and do what she can't.

One thing I did do that she was VERY grateful for was keeping away well meaning but really not needed or welcome at this time visitors.

[theheadgirl]

Thanks everyone. The kids are grown up now, not little ones any more. But its still a huge loss for them also.
LL - your thought of "being there" after the initial rush of sympathy makes a lot of sense

[kimi]

Send her a card and write something like, I have no words right now but I am here for you, please know that.

I'm so sorry headgirl for your friends sad loss.

[theheadgirl]

Thanks Kimi xx

[Wotzsaname]

So sorry for your friends loss.

This happend recently to one of my mums friends, leaving the husband alone. My mum and her partner have been supportive and kept up regular contact, email. texts (aswel as seeing him) and a few times have invited him dinner and to stay over a couple of nights, which he has done.

It was their second marriage too and were blissfully happy with just each other.

It is unfair.

[linjasmom]

I am really sorry for your friend. Apart from being there for her now, I think it is really important to be there when the shock wears off and life slowly returns to "normal". Be there for her and listen, listen, listen. Thinking of you....

XX