Can someone please help me find a quote about grief being the price we pay for love or some such phrase

(14 Posts)
Sweepingchange Wed 09-Nov-16 14:25:31

I hope I am posting this under the correct topic. Many apologies if not.

There was a thread on Mnset a few weeks back in which someone posted a quote along the lines of "the more we loved someone, the more grief we feel."

I am trying to write a letter at the moment, for parents who have lost their child, and despite searching, I can't find the right thread.

The quote wasn't remotely trite or sentimental btw, it was simple and (I thought) appropriate.

Any other advice gratefully received.

Sosidges Wed 09-Nov-16 15:36:50

As you asked for any other advice, I would say this. Please don't quote anything. Just use your own words to say how sorry you are.

Also please don't say "let me know if there is anything I can do"

This is just my personal view from my own experience.

Sweepingchange Wed 09-Nov-16 15:43:35

Thank you very much Sosidges

I certainly would never say "let me know if there is anything I can do". (Best to just do something.)

I wouldn't usually include a quotation either - and may not still - but the particular quote I am after seemed to be particularly appropriate and not at all mawkish.

ReluctantlyRedundant101 Wed 09-Nov-16 22:42:34

Why don't you just say that? It's better to speak (or write) from the heart in situations like these

Sweepingchange Thu 10-Nov-16 15:53:16

Thank you Reluctantlyredundant

I may not even use the quote on this occasion, but I would still be very grateful to be pointed towards it, for now or for future use. I really just wanted to read it again as I thought it was very compelling.

raeray Thu 10-Nov-16 23:20:55

"The agony is great and yet I will stand it. Had I not loved so much I would not hurt so much. But goodness knows I would not want to diminish that precious love by one fraction of an ounce. I will hurt. And I will be grateful for that hurt for it bears witness to the depth of our meaning. And for that I will be eternally grateful.”   Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Hope that's the one you wanted

Coconutty Sat 12-Nov-16 15:20:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3boys3dogshelp Sat 12-Nov-16 15:34:26

I saw one which I can't find again now sorry, but it started with the words 'Grief is just love with nowhere to go..' Not sure it would be appropriate in your circumstances but it struck a chord with me.

pseudonymph Sat 12-Nov-16 15:39:42

3boys3dogs That's Helen MacDonald H is for Hawk, I think.

3boys3dogshelp Sat 12-Nov-16 15:41:26

Thank you!

Sweepingchange Tue 15-Nov-16 23:13:57

Thank you - apologies - only just returned to this thread!

Thank you so much everyone for all of your quotations - they are much appreciated.

I don't think they include the particularone I was thinking of - but very useful nonethless - and raeray's is pretty close so thanks again!

Letter of condolence has been written and posted (after much thought and re-writing) and I didn't include a quote as it happens this time, but still interested in finding the "original"!

TinkyDinks Tue 15-Nov-16 23:24:14

I often use this in sympathy cards

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

SurelyYoureJokingMrFeynman Tue 15-Nov-16 23:38:55

"Grief is the price we pay for love" was a message written by the Queen for a memorial service in the US for 9/11 victims.

But according to this, she was quoting Dr Colin Murray Parkes , a psychiatrist at St.Christopher’s Hospice.

It's now inscribed in a memorial garden in Grosvenor Sq, London: Garden memorial to 9/11 victims

Sweepingchange Thu 17-Nov-16 07:30:59

Thank you again for more responses.

Surely that is v close to the quotation I was thinking of, thank you.

I think I have expressed it badly in thread title/op though as I don't think the word 'price' was actually mentioned, more words to the effect of " the more we love, the more we mourn" or some such.

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