Stillbirth and successfull pregnancy after?

(12 Posts)
Kayleyc123456789 Mon 09-May-16 11:34:50

I was 34 weeks pregnant when I was told my daughters heartbeat was gone,it's a long story I was fine all the way through and so was she I still don't understand what happened why she's gone it's a big blur all I can remember is having bad abdominal pain on the Thursday night 3rd of March this year me and my oh rushed to the hospital to be told she was dead.i was induced to give birth to our daughter which was the hardest decision I have ever had to make knowing our first little girl was going to be born sleeping it was so cruel!! I developed some problems during contractions and had to be rushed to theatre for emcs when I woke up I had drugs pumping into me I had a oxygen thing in my nose I wasn't aware of what had happened untill a doctor explained I had severe preclampsia and placental abruption I nearly died so it wasn't a nice expericance I'm just hoping by joining this site there are some women who can relate to this situation and iknow it's a cruel and hard topic to talk about for any women but I would appreciate it if anyone could just talk with me and please tell me there is success after stillbirth as I so badly want to try again but I'm so scared and worried of the end result I've had 2 mc aswell before I lost our little girl so I'm a bit of not believing it's ever gonna happen for us thank you to anyone who replies I really appreciate it

ApocalypseSlough Mon 09-May-16 13:10:12

I'm so sorry. That all sounds so sad and difficult. sad
I don't having any experience but I'm posting to bump your post. Maybe if you still don't get any replies repost in chat, which is busier and seen by more people.
flowers

spacefrog35 Mon 09-May-16 13:17:38

There are some lovely people here who will be along soon. Would you like to tell us more about your daughter? Would you like to tell us her name?

I can recommend the Sands forums as well (sorry can't link on phone with a sleeping 6 week old on me, who was born 18 months after her big brother was born prematurely and died aged 10 days).

I'm so sorry for your loss flowers

Kayleyc123456789 Mon 09-May-16 14:18:23

Thank you to the first reply I appreciate it, and hi spacefrog35 I'm so sorry for your loss I can't imagine how them 10days was for you and your family may I ask why he was born prematurely or did labour just happen early? My daughters name is esme she was so beautifull she was born 34weeks into my pregnancy weighing 4pounds 9oz she was just out this world,my pregnancy was fine untill that night it was so unexpected I've got my consultant appointment on the 20th June so I'm hoping they will have some answers for us,esme had dark black curly hair she had feet like her daddy,and fingers like mummy's she had every feature of her dad apart from her lips they were just like mine she was 46cms in length aswell and she was born sleeping on the 4th march 2016 what was your little boys name?

spacefrog35 Mon 09-May-16 16:47:47

What a gorgeous name, she sounds beautiful. It meant a lot to me to have 'real' physical memories of my son, it sounds like you have some lovely memories of your beautiful girl, Esme too.

We don't know why I had a premature birth but I had bleeding all the way through the pregnancy so it was something to do with that. My following pregnancy was tough as we didn't know what to 'treat' to stop it happening again but the midwives and my consultant were all incredibly supportive. I hope your appointment in June gives you some answers and helps you make some plans for your future.

Kayleyc123456789 Mon 09-May-16 16:57:34

I have my memories of esme close to my heart and that's where they will stay,she was my only child my first daughter she will always be remembered I hope I do get some answers in June it just feels like such a long wait what did you call your lil boy? And if u don't mind me asking when did everything happen? Sorry if I'm asking personal questions it's just nice to speak to someone that has a understanding how I feel that's all

spacefrog35 Mon 09-May-16 18:30:57

It's ok. I understand completely. Idris was born and died in 2013 so I'm a long way into the journey. There are threads in the conception and pregnancy areas for people who have suffered losses. There are, sadly, lots of people who understand.

Managed to get the link to sands for you: www.forum.sandsforum.org

You do have to wait 48 hours or so to be approved but it is totally worth it. I also recommend reading some of the articles here: stillstandingmag.com

flowers

Flambola Fri 20-May-16 01:52:32

I am so sorry for your loss, Kayley. Esme is a beautiful name for a beautiful baby.

I lost my son James on Christmas Day 2014. I ended up getting pregnant again almost immediately, and I had my rainbow baby in October last year. She is the most precious thing in the world to me. The pregnancy itself was so difficult - I had to take medication to keep me sane, but I got through it.

I hope you get some answers in June.

Unfortunately James died of a placental abruption, and there was no answer as to why it happened.

Kayleyc123456789 Fri 20-May-16 11:52:47

Hi flambola,thank you I appreciate your thoughts,I'm so sorry you lost your little boy James my friend has just had her first little boy and she's called him James it's a lovely name.im sorry you never got any answers to why your precious baby died,what happened to James happened to my little girl esme,placenta abruption and severe preclampsia I was 34 weeks pregnant everything was going fine,it was such a shock I'm so happy you have got your rainbow baby, how did you find it when you found out u were pregant again? Iknow you said you had to take medication to keep sane...but what did your care plan do that was extra? Scans and meds n appointments? If you don't mind me asking

Flambola Fri 20-May-16 12:12:44

Ask as many questions as you need to!

I ended up in consultant led care, which was great. There was nothing much until about 20 weeks though, to be honest, but after that, I ended up having scans every sort of 3 weeks, then 2 weeks as the pregnancy progressed. Had a consultant appointment each scan too. They did regular checks on the placenta, making sure the blood flow was ok, and I had as many community midwife appointments as needed. I was also under the care of the perinatal midwives.

I went in to be induced at 37+6 (they wouldn't let me go past 38, I lost James at 37), but my daughter was already on her way.

Flambola Fri 20-May-16 12:14:30

I had terrible, terrible anxiety (still do) but I was well looked after. I understand the shock you went through, everything was fine with James too, until it suddenly wasn't.

Are you looking to start trying for another baby?

Kayleyc123456789 Fri 20-May-16 12:51:36

So all them appointments were when you were pregnant with your little girl?sorry it confused me a little bit and thank you,did you have natural labour then? With both of your children and was you given any medication to take whilst pregnant again? Sorry u suffer with anxiety it must be really hard for you? And me and my partner are waiting to see what they say at the consultant app n hopefully we will get some answers about our care plan next. We hae agreed that we will stop being so precautious and what will be will be but I so badly want to try again not to replace my daughter just because I want my child in my arms we so badly wanted esme and it feels like she's just been took away it's not fair I haven't got any other children apart from esme so we agreed we will try again so esme will have a little brother or sister

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