raging and insecure sister in law

[bertieblunt99]

Hello, has anyone had the experience of a whole section of family/friends being left out of funeral arrangements and all the stuff that goes with this? I have recently lost my brother and I had little to do with my SIL as much as I loved my brother and the children, she was a bit, erm ,demented jealousy wise so steered clear of her for his sake.
She completed divided and separated the family and friends in a very insidious way...she had no friends nor family to speak of when she met my brother and we did try (large family) but...anyway, I stayed out of it but she since his death her behaviour has been even more undignified..arranging services without our knowledge, posting obituaries etc...we waited to be informed but she did none of this. final straw is an online memorial site where we have been informed she has set this up without any of us knowing. The messages are from people he knew very briefly, nice of them but not people who really knew him for the many years we all had him. We have all now added messages for the kids but of course she is admin and will delete I imagine.
I know she is raging as we keep getting told information as of course we are a large family with a big network - she has involved NONE of the family and about one of his friends who she approved of. We kind of all guessed this would happen but the concern is the kids...she will sideline them.
How can anyone get this insecure?
if anyone else has any tips as to how to bypass her stonewalling us we'd appreciate it, parents don't want to lose what crumbs she is throwing their way...

[birdladyfromhomealone]

That is so sad to read :( No advice i'm afraid but hugs to you and your family!

[bertieblunt99]

thank you for your kind words birdlady .I know these problems occur in many families but the pain remains the same .