My dad died 4 weeks ago today and I'm still crying daily. Randomly too.
Sometimes I can talk about it when people ask, other times I can't bear to. An email of condolence set me off in the hairdressers earlier. I can be walking down the street perfectly ok and then suddenly tear up and have to stop myself from crying.
I realised while bathing my toddler that I last spoke to my Dad on the 19th of last month and burst into tears.
I now hate Saturday's, especially sunny ones as they remind me of the day I was going about my business completely unaware my dad had collapsed and was slowly dying.
I don't know what I expected but I didn't seem to expect this. I've only lost a grandparent before and I was sad and upset but life went on. I feel like this has completely shaken my foundations and I feel very fragile.
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When does the daily crying stop?
Summersalmostgone · 19/09/2015 20:30
First of all, my sincere condolences to you 
It's very early days and you need to be kind to yourself. I've lost both my parents and to be honest, I still miss them, but I've learnt to live with it. I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but when someone who has been a kingpin in your life dies, it leaves a huge hole. A very unMN hug { }
It's a little different but we lost our dd2 in Jan, she was stillborn.
I think the crying and/or raging every day stopped around 3/4 months. It slowed down from heart wrenching, all consuming sobbing to 'just' tears for 5 mins or so. I remember a friend (who is nice but we have a strange relationship hence the sounding unsympathetic, he wasn't, it was his way) asking if I'd managed not to cry that day and being able to say yes around 4 months.
It is 8 months today since we got her diagnosis, 8 months tmrw since she died. I think I cry, randomly, weekly now.
Dates were massive 'things' for me for many months. This is the first month that I have noticed it's the 19th today without there being a build up. My specialist counsellor told me that dates being big triggers is totally normal and really common.
I am really sorry for your loss
I can't even begin to imagine the pain of losing a child.
I lost dd2 to meningitis 4years ago, there isn't a day goes by that I don't cry but Its not so much now. She was a little 17 month old angel and I tell myself that angels are caring for her until I can be there.
Have to believe this as Its something to hold onto. I think your Dad will be in a nicer place and who knows you may see him again. People think I'm deranged for believing in heaven and angels but I say step in my shoes and see how you get on.
My condolences on the loss of your Father Summer
Remember we have to grieve.
My dad died 6 years ago. It's a cliche but it will and does get easier time really does help. My dad was my hero and we were so close. I lived with him and helped care for him in his last year. It was all a nightmare. But things do get easier. For me not hiding from it but confronting it was the best thing to do abd helped me plough on through the grieving process. I talked about him and him dying a lot. I forced myself to confront the new reality even though it was tough. I think I probably stopped crying daily at about 2 months but would still cry every now and then. I still do.
to you and to the pps who have lost children. I can't imagine that.
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