Support For Anyone That Has Lost A Parent

(1000 Posts)
mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 20:47:30

Hope you will all find this, didn't realise old one was at the end !

supermariossister Mon 27-Jul-15 20:53:35

it's all the talking we do brew
just to keep you busy ml grin

how are you?

Baddz Mon 27-Jul-15 20:53:46

Hello! smile

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 20:56:45

I was quite alarmed when last thread wouldn't let me post again ! I didn't realise how close to the end we were. I usually keep my eye on it but I didn't this time for some reason. It seems to of filled very quickly, but there have been quite a few new people I think.

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 20:58:10

Just came back from the pub, it's grill night, buy one get one free. So me dh. My ds and one of my brothers went. My steak had to go back as it was still alive I think !

supermariossister Mon 27-Jul-15 21:07:47

eww glad they sorted it out for you! I was mega lazy and used some of the weekly budget to order in been so busy today couldn't be fussed! I haven't been up with flowers for ages I've left it so long now that I think I'll go to bits next time I do as it's been so long

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 21:13:02

I wanted to go yesterday. But it was poring with rain, so will go one day in the week , my mums arch and her roses have been lovely, my brother said mum would be so pleased that it was growing well in my garden, the roses are nearly at an end now though. It only flowers once unlike some of the rosé bushes.

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 21:18:54

No - one goes to do the flowers except when it's Mother's Day , birthday or the date Mum died, so I like to go every fortnight if possible. I promised my mum I would always take care of my sisters grave as no - one went for that either except me and mum.
I am very particular and they both have to have exactly the same flowers ! They are next to each other. I have had the mystery of why squirrels destroy carnations. A florist at the market showed us that there is a little nut thing in the center under all the petals ! That's why I never buy carnation type flowers, it's annoying when you go to the cemetery and all the petals are on the ground and just the stalks remain !

supermariossister Mon 27-Jul-15 21:24:27

cheeky squirrels! I didn't know that though so its interesting. I have been keeping up the garden we have for her at home everything feels more real at the cemetery it strange really as it's real no matter what

Baddz Mon 27-Jul-15 21:26:57

No one goes to my aunts grave Lin...at any time sad
It would have upset dad so much...they haven't even put her name on the urn (my uncles remains were already buried there)
It's been well over a year now...
I got a fake orchid from ikea and put that on.
Dad now has multi coloured roses in the headstone vase and 2 arrangements - red and white roses from us and yellow roses from the grandkids.
It looks lovely

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 21:30:15

I have lots of things in my garden that I took from my mums so I am happy about that, but I like to go to where she is. I always say something to mum and never leave without saying goodbye to her and my sister. I have even gone back when I realised I didn't say bye.
Your memory garden is lovely, you sent me a picture a long while ago.

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 21:35:13

It's sad isn't it Badvoc, when my sister moved back down here, she said she would help me look after the graves. Does she ? No and I have one brother has never taken flowers at all not even on any of the important days. My other two brothers do always take flowers on the important days. I keep my mouth shut or it would cause an arguements and I don't want that, it's very hard to bite my tongue and I'm not known for holding back, but in this instance I have to, although one day I just might lose the plot and say something !!

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 21:38:44

I have a family grave like yours Badvoc. My aunty died years ago and had a headstone, years later my uncle joined her ( mums brother ) and my greedy bloody cousins have never had his name added either. My girl cousin in particular is very wealthy and her brother worships money, I hate both of them and none of us ever mixes with them

supermariossister Mon 27-Jul-15 21:48:03

my brother never goes says it upset him too much,he's quite a closed book though doesn't show emotion much. since mums husband moved away I don't think he's been back too many memories here for him and seeing us must be hard, it's strange to think how many people suffer from them not being around anymore. I had the strangest dream the other day me and dp had this baby except it wasn't a normal baby it was an alien. it was in hospital for tests and went missing, it turned out mum had been in hiding for the last three years and came back to steal the alien baby. it was very odd

Baddz Mon 27-Jul-15 21:56:15

Sounds familIar lin.
No shortage of money thats for sure.
Out of sight out of mind I suppose sad

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 22:04:21

What a strange dream SM , I wonder what the people who decipher dreams would make of that ?
Just shows Badvoc, money does not make you nicer people does it ? My girl cousin married a bloke who had a chain of butchers shops, they delivered to all the big hotels here, and were really well off. They never ever gave our grandparents so much as a chicken leg ? He died and so she then became very rich. And her brother tried to keep up with her financially , but never will but money is his god. But neither are nice people I'm afraid.

supermariossister Mon 27-Jul-15 22:07:07

if there is one thing I have learnt with things not being brilliant here is that some of the nicest people have very little. money seems to turn people into monsters. no idea lin maybe I'm going to find an alien life formgrin

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 22:11:59

Some say you have to reverse your dream, but I don't know how you would reverse that. Was it a green baby ? I think aliens are green, with big heads. !

supermariossister Mon 27-Jul-15 22:28:49

yeah like the creature from the play station game abes odyssey. was very bizarre!

mummylin2495 Mon 27-Jul-15 22:56:24

Very weird what our brains come up with isn't it ! I think your alien baby was prob called ET grin

supermariossister Mon 27-Jul-15 23:47:27

could of beengrin it's the kind of thing mum would do take in an alien she was always bringing creatures in toads,frogs, dogs and budgies. she fed anyone's child who happened to be nearby at the time grin

chickennoodle Tue 28-Jul-15 11:27:06

Hey everyone, seeing as you're all discussing graves, flowers & dreams ... My dads headstone should be ready soon, I didn't ask when, I just don't feel the need to go there (I've been once or twice very briefly I think) I don't even feel close to my dad at his grave sad maybe I'm more like him than I realise, his views would have been "it's a waste of money (flowers) & it's just his body, a shell (not him)" the only thing I am tempted to do is, stick a rock/stone on his grave, written on with a marker ... I think he'd appreciate that smile much more than thousands of £ on a headstone but my mum would not be impressed !!! She finds a lot of peace being near his grave & keeping it clean/tidy smile I wish I could dream of my dad, maybe I am but I just don't remember x

chickennoodle Tue 28-Jul-15 11:27:15

Hey everyone, seeing as you're all discussing graves, flowers & dreams ... My dads headstone should be ready soon, I didn't ask when, I just don't feel the need to go there (I've been once or twice very briefly I think) I don't even feel close to my dad at his grave sad maybe I'm more like him than I realise, his views would have been "it's a waste of money (flowers) & it's just his body, a shell (not him)" the only thing I am tempted to do is, stick a rock/stone on his grave, written on with a marker ... I think he'd appreciate that smile much more than thousands of £ on a headstone but my mum would not be impressed !!! She finds a lot of peace being near his grave & keeping it clean/tidy smile I wish I could dream of my dad, maybe I am but I just don't remember x

chickennoodle Tue 28-Jul-15 11:27:38

Damn phone !!! Sorry about posting twice x

Baddz Tue 28-Jul-15 11:31:27

Everyone is different noodle.
Dad would have been horrified at the cost of his funeral and interment.
He would probably think we were Nuts wrt the flowers too smile
But mum wanted the church service, headstone etc and wants to be with him when she goes.
It gives her some peace and helps her to go to the grave and put flowers on.
I only tend to do flowers for big things like b days, anniversary, Xmas...
I haven't dreamed about my dad either sad

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