So annoyed with the school secretary.

[PennySweets]

We had a death in the family early this morning. It was my Aunt, my Mum's Sister. She lost a long battle with Leukaemia. We got the phone call at 5.00 a.m. My dc knew she was very ill, and that she would probably pass away very soon. My ds's (8 and 6) don't really understand it, it's gone over their head a bit. My dd (10) is a different matter, she's an intelligent sensitive girl, and understands what's happened. My Aunt was a lively, vibrant, funny person, who adored children, and my kids loved her. Anyway, I told the Headmaster this morning, just in case any of the children, dd in particular, became upset during the day. This afternoon, I had to hang around a little while, as I'd been to ds's assembly which finished early, so I paid a visit to the office to see if all had been okay with the dc. I asked the secretary "have any of the children been into the office upset today?" She gave me a funny look and said "no. Why?" So I began to explain, and before I had finished what I was saying, she said, really dismissively "oh yes I know about that, Headmaster mentioned it this morning." Then gave me a look as if to dismiss me. I was speechless. I thought, she could have at least said "the children have been fine, and I'm sorry for your loss." She's a miserable cow at the best of times, but I was floored by this. During the afternoon, my poor dd has become very upset, it's just hit her, I suppose. She's never experienced the death of a close family member before. Her teacher is great, thank goodness, but I'd worry if she got sent to the school office tomorrow, upset, while her teacher was carrying on with the class. I just expect more from the staff at the school. Incidentally, it's a church school, so you'd think they'd be even more sympathetic and supportive, perhaps, than some schools might be.
It's just not good enough. It's no use me having a word with the HM as he's useless at the best of times. I might bring this up with the Deputy Head though, who is fabulous. I'm worried about dd now, I hope she's going to be okay.

[edie123]

How awful. Def bring it up with dep head. Its terrible. Hope she is ok, best wishes to you all. xx

[JanH]

Oh, PS, I'm very sorry that you have lost your aunt as she was obviously a lovely person but the Head probably just said "x, y & z have lost their great-aunt" and the sec would have had no idea how important she was to them - she would have been thinking of her own great-aunts and as she's such a misery hers were probably distant and no fun at all.

She just doesn't understand. If you get a chance you could try to explain how close your aunt was to you all. Hope you and DD are OK and feeling stronger today.

[PennySweets]

Thanks for your thoughts guys. To add insult to injury, my Mum has now had a mini stroke. My dd was spending the night with her and it happened in the night. I went into the school again yesterday morning to explain, as poor dd had had a shock, and was really upset and worried about her Nan. This secretary was actually really sympathetic and nice to me. Perhaps she felt bad after the first time I'd been in.