Sorry to intrude

[insanityscratching]

A neighbour lost his wife a couple of weeks ago, I have only ever said hello in passing and so we weren't friends. I feel for the family as they have boys a little older than dd who is 11 and it's driven home because I lost my own mum in similar circumstances as a child.
I popped a card through the letterbox last week. Today I have baked and I've made an extra chocolate cake with the intention of popping it across there but now I wonder whether it's intrusive.
What do you think? Is it a kind thought or intrusive? I'm not expecting thanks or a chat it's just I remember thirty odd years ago a neighbour sending cake for us and whilst it didn't make anything better it was nice to know that they cared.

[Madcatgirl]

It's a lovely thing to do. Just go around, knock and hand it over without comment. Let him lead, but I, sure he'll appreciate the gesture.

[Hoggle246]

I think you should do it - I think it's better to let them know people care rather than otherwise and it's not as though you're barging in. I think it's a very kind thought and I would imagine would be appreciated.

[UriGeller]

I think you should do it too. I think it's a kind gesture and opens the door to communication if he wants.

[insanityscratching]

Well I've knocked and handed it over, neighbour didn't seem offended and actually seemed pleased that I had thought of them and one of the boys said he liked chocolate cake. It was in a tin but I said not to worry about returning it as I have plenty but if they wanted to but didn't want to chat then to just leave it on the doorstep. I'm glad I took it across, I didn't chat but hope they get from it that I am thinking of them. Thank you all for your help

[cathpip]

It's a lovely thing to do, we kept finding food on our doorstep after dd died, the entire village had been cooking and it was very much appreciated. What would also be lovely is in a few weeks when things have settled down is to send round another cake. A lady from our village knocked on my door one night about 2 months later and just handed me a bottle of prosseco saying "you have not been forgotten, we are all still thinking of you, I had heard this is your favourite tipple". I cried.

[insanityscratching]

I'll do them another cake in a few weeks then Cathpip when things have calmed down. It's so difficult to work out whether or not you are doing the right thing so it's good to check with others first.
I'm so sorry you lost your dd and have first hand experience

[BlueberryWafer]

What a lovely thing to do, OP

[PuddingandPie1]

I agree with BlueberryWater.

[MiddletonPink]

That's so lovely of you OP.
Simple kindness. Means so much and is always remembered.