I miss my Nana

[MissingHer]

My Nana passed away last month and I just can't get over how guilty I feel for not being there for her. There was a big falling out within my family which meant there was arguments every time I went to see her (not between me and my Nana) as these family members were always at her house. So to stop the nasty atmosphere that was always present while visiting my elderly Nana and my young children I stopped going.
I phoned her now and then but not that often as my Nana wasn't one for chatting on the phone for long. My children don't remember her even though she loved them very much. I hadn't seen her in around a year before she passed away and as if just not seeing her wasn't enough she is now gone forever and I can't even tell her how much I loved her one last time. I was very close to her growing up and she was more of a mother to me than my own mother at times.
I feel worse with each day that passes, I know it hasn't been long but I am struggling to even get out of bed in the morning. The guilt that I wasn't there for her is just eating me up.

Sorry I don't even know if this post makes any sense, I just needed to get it all out

[lollypop77]

Try not to beat yourself up ..you were protecting yourself and your nana ... your nana would have been well aware how much you cared ... I lost my nana last month and due to diffrent circumstances with my mum passing away we didnt really stay in contact ... you have your happy memories im sure and you need to except your nanas at peace and she wil be proud of you ... your nana may not be with you physically but she is always with you in ypur heart and soul ...keep strong ...