Shouldn't I be over this by now?

(5 Posts)
ballsballsballs Sat 05-Jul-14 21:31:55

My closest friend killed herself in 2005. We'd been friends since our childhoods in the early 80's.

I went to a school reunion today and found myself weeping because I miss her. It's been nearly a decade, FFS.

When will it stop? I've had counselling and all that, but today all I could think about was missing her and our times together as teenagers. I was pathetically grateful others hadn't forgotten her.

Is there something wrong with me? When does this stop?

Hello OP

I've just posted something similar as I didn't want to reply with my issue and hijack your thread!

I guess when you are that close to someone you never get over it, just cope better.

thanks

stolemyusername Sun 06-Jul-14 05:19:22

There isn't a time limit on grief, you just find different ways to cope.

You're allowed to be sad/cry about things especially when you know under other circumstances she would have been there also, but I'd say if you're crying daily and it's effecting your life in some way every day then you may need more counselling

GertieFinkle Sun 06-Jul-14 05:47:48

I lost a friend 18 months ago. Every now and then I see someone who looks like her or someone says something that reminds me of her or I hear a particular song on the radio and I feel a real pang of sadness, sometimes moving me to tears but not often. That's only my experience though, I don't know how I'll feel 9 yrs down the line. Everyone grieves differently.

You were obviously at an occasion which was about the past and she was part of that. I agree though with Stole that if your memories and regrets about your friend are causing daily unhappiness then you may need further support.

ballsballsballs Sun 06-Jul-14 11:54:41

Thanks everyone. It might just have been the situation. I don't spend all my time crying about her, but being at the school we went to triggered my sadness.

flowers to all going through this.

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