My Dad died just over a year ago in the place where I work, 8 weeks after my son was born. After the funeral my mum became very unwell requiring a long stay in hospital and surgery but is now fully recovered. At the time I just got on with everything; I had to as I was exclusively breastfeeding my son in a variety of hospitals while visiting my parents.
I went back to work part time a few months ago and was initially really enjoying it. However, everything seems to have hit me in the last month. I feel awful, really struggling to motivate myself to do anything. Some days at work I feel fine but other days I can't stop thinking about my Dad. It doesn't help that I see the room he died in and the staff who looked after him on an almost daily basis. I don't want to say anything to anyone at work because I don't want to make a big deal out of this and I don't want everyone to know. I'm not sure if everything is worse because we are going to scatter my Dad's ashes at the weekend. I would have said that previously I had a lot of emotional resiliance but this has just deserted me so that the slightest thing now makes me upset. Eg. last night I realised I'd made a mistake calculating my annual leave on coming back from mat leave so that I should have taken more than I have and this started me crying.
My husband is superb but he has a busy job so can't always be here to help me. My Mum is now doing really well and has to deal with my sister who has mental health problems. Mum wants me to help her with my sister but I find it really difficult as my sister can be violent so I become very anxious for myself and my son whenever I see her.
I've been to see GP who was really good and has referred me to psychology but it will be months before I can see anyone. Anyone have any ideas what I can do in the mean time? Anyone else suffered this sort of delayed grief? I expected to feel like this when Dad died but I was fine last year. Sorry for long post but wanted to put everything down in one place.
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7 replies
kaffkooks · 10/03/2014 12:22
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