I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in May last year (ivf baby), a few weeks later my Dad went into hospital with a lung infection which was a regular occurance as Dad was two years past chemo for lung cancer. He had had the all clear which was a miracle really but suffered from poor health as a result of the treatment.
In August Dad was having a routine procedure under sedation and the 'team' failed to suction him properly (as he couldn't swallow under sedation) and basically drowned him.
Dad was 61, I miss him terribly. cant brloeve im gping to have a baby thats never going go meet him. I had to have treatment the day following his death and several times a week to keep the second ivf pregnancy (due to high natural killer cells and other issues) I had hormones/steroids/drips/drugs etc and came off them all in January. Id hoped that things would feel better but they don't - worse if anything. Have a 3 1/2 year old who sees me cry and lose it every day which makes me feel worse. Baby due in 5 weeks and I desperately don't want it then - I'm just not able to cope with what I do now let alone a new baby. My son is at nursery 3 mornings a week but other then that time I'm on my own from the moment he wakes until the long after his bedtime.
Everything just feels so hopeless and insurmountable. I don't know how to get better. Can't get counselling on nhs- cant afford it privately- cant take anyidepressabts or sleeping tablets
Any advice of any kind would be really appreciated. Am thinking following up further with the hospital might help me channel my anger (have had meetings with them but not taken it further)
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Bereavement
Had miscarriage and lost my dad a few weeks later - 7 months later have hit rock bottom.
6 replies
bigbadwritersblock · 07/03/2014 10:01
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