How do I deal with this?

(2 Posts)
kansasmum Fri 31-Jan-14 18:46:22

My lovely dad died in June last year. I miss him every day but it is getting a bit easier.
My mum obviously took his death very hard and I do understand it's devastating to lose your husband.

Dad wanted be buried- and so we did this. I hated it, it was quite possibly the hardest thing I've done. All the other funerals I've been to have been cremations. Watching my Dad's coffin lower into the ground nearly broke mesad

My mum likes to go and put flowers on his grave regularly. She broke her arm before Xmas so hasn't been able to drive so she's been asking me to take her. She never asks my sister who only lives 7 miles away

Sorry to ramble .....anyway I find it VERY VERY hard to go to the cemetery , it makes me cry which my dad would hate. My mum has said I SHOULD take her. And she gets really arsey with me if I say no.
She frequently tells me that it's much worse for her than me to have list dad. She has never EVER asked me or my sister how we are doing or if offered any sort of support/comfort.
Dad would think flowers are a waste of time and my mum's primary reason for doing is for looks and what other people think. .

How do I deal with her expecting me to take her! Should I just suck it up and go?

kansasmum Fri 31-Jan-14 18:47:38

Should add my sister feels physically sick if she goes and has managed once since Dad died. It isn't really an option to get her to take mum instead.

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