10 Years today since my darling husband died.

(12 Posts)
cornishcreamtea Thu 23-Jan-14 16:57:12

I was widowed in my early 40's when my darling husband died suddenly of a heart attack. He went to work and never came back, leaving me with 2 teenage children to bring up.

Some days it seems like only yesterday he was with us and other times like a million years. I hate Christmas every year now but would never tell my family that. Every year between Christmas and the anniversary today I feel as if I am struggling, really struggling to live a "normal" life. I want him back so much it hurts physically and I can't breathe properly.

My DM lost my dad when she was the same age as me and she used to help me so much but she has gone now as well.

Please tell me how I can get through life and be happy, not just going through the motions and pretending to everybody that I am fine.

NigelMolesworth Thu 23-Jan-14 17:07:53

thanks I'm not very good at this sort of thing but didn't want to pass by. I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain. I pray that one day your life will be easier and you will find a way to cope. I'm sorry I don't have anything more useful to say. Thinking of you.

lalamumto3 Thu 23-Jan-14 17:09:53

I am so sorry for your loss and hope that it may help in a small way that I am thinking of you. x

NigelMolesworth Thu 23-Jan-14 17:11:04

Would it help to tell us a little about him?

siblingrevelry Thu 23-Jan-14 17:17:06

I'm thinking of you too. Very sorry I have nothing constructive to offer, hopefully someone more eloquent than me will offer some comfort and advice x

Oblomov Thu 23-Jan-14 17:29:00

Sorry to hear this. Sounds terrible. Tell us about him.

cornishcreamtea Thu 23-Jan-14 17:51:21

I know people always say it always seems to be the good who die young but I felt blessed and so so lucky that I had found my soulmate and we really cherished each other.

Ours was always the house where the kids in the street would come if they had a puncture or something needed mended.

He was always the man who went out to cut the grass and would take hours as he would stop and chat with everyone who passed by.

He was the Dad who when the kids football team was going to fold stepped in to take over.

He was the son who would make an 80 mile round trip to take his disabled mother shopping.

He was the husband and Dad who always put his family before everything. We were both each other's reason for living.

He worked away through the week and I used to miss him so much and looked forward to his goodnight and good morning phonecalls. When he didn't ring me that morning I knew something terrible had happened. He had had a heart attack and died in his sleep.

I thank God that in our last phone conversation we said how much we loved each other. There is nothing I wish I should have said if I had known that was going to be the last time.

Layla0000 Thu 23-Jan-14 20:07:05

cornishcreamtea....I was brought to tears by your post above. How lovely that you experienced that in life and that you gave your husband so much love. I don't have any words of wisdom or comfort to offer you, other than that x

NigelMolesworth Fri 24-Jan-14 08:43:02

Cornish - I'm sorry I didn't reply last night but time ran away with me. Your love for your DH shines through In your post. He sounds like a truly wonderful caring man both for his family and his friends. I wish there was something I could say that could make you feel better. I don't have any practical advice and anyway I suspect that in the last 10 years you've probably heard it all and tried it all anyway. But if you want to keep talking, I'm listening.

cornishcreamtea Fri 24-Jan-14 12:06:30

This morning I have woken up in a different more positive frame of mind. Now that I have got over Christmas and the anniversary of his death for yet another year, I feel somehow as if the clouds are not quite so dark and the weight is not pressing on my chest quite so much, if that makes sense.

Thanks for your kind and caring words, everyone.

NigelMolesworth Fri 24-Jan-14 14:36:14

I'm glad you're feeling lighter. I hope you get the chance to do something nice this weekend. thanks

Hopasholic Fri 24-Jan-14 14:42:32

Sorry for your loss Cornish. There are no words are there? It's ten years today since I lost my sister, she was my best friend. I am off to meet up with some of her friends, reminisce and drink champagne. I hope you manage to raise some smiles about the cherished memories you have, I am going to try my best to do so today smile

Much love and take care flowers

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